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quiet · 01-01-2003, 10:32 PM

my ex i've been broke up with for about 8 months. no contact.

recently met someone new. she's hot and seems pretty cool - but i keep thinking about my ex. wtf?

TDF · 01-01-2003, 10:33 PM

dont torment yourself.Next dream about her roll her over with a steamroller 10 times and listen to the squish..problem solved!

Dusen · 01-01-2003, 10:35 PM

Nothing you can do there. It's super normal.

Despite the 8 month absence, I think you are subconciously relating the feelings and experiences you have for this new one to the last time you had them - with your ex.

That'll be $34.50 and a big mac coupon please.

kenny · 01-01-2003, 10:44 PM

Think only about the negative things when you think of her.
Only negative things, there is nothing left but negative, think negative, negative is your friend

Gutterboy · 01-01-2003, 10:57 PM

Have you read the latest theories about memory, quiet?

There was some clinical psychologist.. i forget the name.. who taught rats a maze puzzle. Then he zapped different portions of their brains, starting with the ones thought to be responsible for long & short term memory and motor skills.. in an attempt to erase the trick from their minds, thereby isolating the area of the brain responsible for that particular memory. He couldn't do it. In fact, he found he could kill up to 80% of their brains without them completely losing the inability to do the trick he'd taught them.

So memories seem to be made holographically. The entire brain takes a snapshot of your complete state at whatever time the memory was generated, feelings, sights, smells, sounds, tactile sensations etc encountered at the time, and it can usually reconstruct the whole from any of the parts. The more of those parts enountered at the same time, the better the spontaneous recall or association.

So I think Dusen is right. Your brain will automatically take all the relationship type shit going on (whether it be places, smells, emotions, wines you drank with your ex, things you ate etc) with this new girl and associate it with your ex simply by force of habit/recall. No different than the way any other spontaneous recall occours.

Solution.. give your mind a while to reprogram itself.

That'll be treefiddy.

pine · 01-01-2003, 11:00 PM

try this: every time you start to think about your ex- in a good way, try to remember why you broke up with her...and then go get your groove on with your new lady.

mrthumbs · 01-01-2003, 11:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by quiet

recently met someone new. she's hot and seems pretty cool - but i keep thinking about my ex. wtf?

she's not hot and cool enough then..

quiet · 01-01-2003, 11:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mrthumbs

she's not hot and cool enough then..

i know if i had the 'hottest' girl ever available, it wouldn't neccesarily mean jack.

cool is another issue.

kenny · 01-01-2003, 11:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by pine
try this: every time you start to think about your ex- in a good way, try to remember why you broke up with her...and then go get your groove on with your new lady.

The negative factor plays a role here

mrthumbs · 01-01-2003, 11:06 PM

btw quiet.. are you aware of the 'back door' trick for your paysites?

Or is that just something you invented yourself ?

The Machine · 01-01-2003, 11:09 PM

this is natural when you've been with someone for a long time. it'll pass.

MonkeyMan · 01-01-2003, 11:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by quiet
my ex i've been broke up with for about 8 months. no contact.

recently met someone new. she's hot and seems pretty cool - but i keep thinking about my ex. wtf?

Maybe you loved her....... HAHAHAHAHA
AHHAHAHAHA OH MAN HAHAHAHAHHAHA
hahaha.... *sigh*

No, but seriously... that happned to me once and the girl i missed actually came back!!!! (then I kicked her out becasue she gave me the clap)

Gutterboy · 01-01-2003, 11:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by The Machine
this is natural when you've been with someone for a long time. it'll pass.

Why I feel the need to write 3 paragraphs for something that can be explained just as well in 15 words I do not know.

Maybe its the beer.

The Machine · 01-01-2003, 11:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Gutterboy

Why I feel the need to write 3 paragraphs for something that can be explained just as well in 15 words I do not know.

Maybe its the beer.

beer is good ;)

Fletch XXX · 01-01-2003, 11:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Gutterboy

Maybe its the beer.

kenny · 01-01-2003, 11:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by The Machine

beer is good ;)

I like beer

quiet · 01-01-2003, 11:28 PM

i have rum, but beer sounds better (i'd have to actually get off my ass though)...

AWW - Kevin · 01-01-2003, 11:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by pine
try this: every time you start to think about your ex- in a good way, try to remember why you broke up with her...

maybe she broke up with him

my only suggestion...give it time, i don't think there's a need
to think bad about your ex after all she "used" to be someone special.
good memories are not a bad thing !

Rep · 01-02-2003, 12:09 AM

I had the same problem, what helped me was this:

Recently she fucked one of my close friends and I realized that women are fucking whores and cannot be trusted at all.

So we all have AIDS,

The end.

Darin · 01-02-2003, 12:12 AM

Your whipped

playa · 01-02-2003, 12:17 AM

next time you think bout her just imagine that your ex having sex with someone else,, well unless of course your into that kind of stuff

p1mpdogg · 01-02-2003, 12:18 AM

does she like girls?

3's a charm...

chodadog · 01-02-2003, 12:28 AM

What's that rule? You need half the time you were with the person to get over them.

Personally, i think it's hogwash, but if it was a long term relationship, it is obvioulsy going to take quite a while to get over her completely. It'll just take time, in the meantime, probably not a whole lot you can do. Try to focus on what's great about this girl, maybe.

- Dr Brendan

Rep · 01-02-2003, 12:31 AM

BIP - Banged In Passing -- This is the chick you hooked up with on New Years. After a bottle of cheap champagne, you get her hammered and walk her two blocks back to her apartment, bang a load into her just as the blanket of a hangover is starting to creep over your eyes, and stumble home. These chicks have a very limited set of rules that apply to them and for the most part, you're free and clear to bang any of these chicks that your friends have. In fact, its actually encouraged because these lasses usually aren't exactly 'pageant contestants" if you know what I mean and, hey, misery loves company.

BIR - Banged in Relationship -- These are the ones you really have to worry about. These are the ones where the ex-boyfriend/your best friend's testosterone levels run high. These are the ones where we strictly adhere to our pre-defined male rules.

SEG - Special Event Girl -- This is a chick, that the guy has shared some sort of special event with. Maybe his first love, maybe had a baby with her, she comforted him after some nasty car accident, donated kidney to save his mom, built a deck around his pool, or he lost virginity to. These girls are *always* a no-no when BIR and require special considerations when BIP. (NOTE Her losing her virginity to him doesn't count because hey, who cares?)

TWP - Total Waiting Period -- The total time that you should wait, as defined by the 1:1 Rule, before attempting to bang an eligable ex-girlfriend.

WPR - Waiting Period Respected -- Amount of time you actually wait before attemping to bang an eligable ex-girlfriend. For honorable persons, the WPR will always be equal or greater to the TWP.

BRF - Banging Risk Factor -- Direct result of adherence to the 11 rule. This is the chance that you will cause irreperable harm to your friendship, by banging his ex-girlfriend. BRF = 100% - (WPR/TWP)

1:1 Rule -- This is a time reference rule that calculated the TWP to bang a chick should be at least equal to if not greated then the period of time she dated your best friend. Respecting the entire TWP as defined by the 11 Rule results in a 0% BRF. Violations of this rule results in a >0% BRF.

Now, let's look at an example.

Q. Bill and Steve are friends. Bill is dating Julia for 5 months and they break up. Steve now wants to Bang the holy bejesus out of Julia, who has been giving him "the look". Can he do so? How soon?
A. Well, since Julia is not she is a SEG, we know the banging can take place and its just a matter of when. However, since she is in fact BIR -- dating Bill for five months -- Steve should wait at least an additional five months (the TWP), per the 1:1 rule, before taking his due turn on Julia. To not do so would result in a >0% BRF and most likely problems with his friendship with Bill.
However, should he decide that Julia's ass is just too nice and he can't wait and has to get himself some of that good stuff after the second month, we have the following calculation to determine the BRF.
BRF = 100% - (WPR/TWP)
BRF = 100% - (2 months / 5 months)
BRF = 100% - (0.40)
BRF = 100% - 40%
Banging Risk Factor = 60% chance that Bill will get drunk and beat the fuck out of Steve after finding out he plugged his ex.

See, simple, isn't it? Now, let's apply the same rules to your situation

Gemini · 01-02-2003, 12:33 AM

It sounds like the backside of you brain is smarter than the front side Quiet. Something is or was incomplete. IS rather than was would explain the continued thoughts. ;-) Quit trying to be all cool and one o'de guys and put some thought to the subject and go from there.

So long as you keep that going on, you'll not be happy with any other woman. Listening to some of the cretins on THIS board would get you a flat zero. Just like they have.

It might just be that you need to complete something from that relationship in order to go on. Or to fully satisfy your inner mind that breaking it off was the absoLUTE right thing to do.

Carrie · 01-02-2003, 12:40 AM

*blink blink*
Ooookay... interesting one, Rep!

Quiet, my best friend *caught* his wife with someone else about 9 months ago. Now he's with a gal who treats him like gold but he still thinks about the ex-hahahaha almost daily, missing her.

It'll just take some time. In the meanwhile, go as slow as you need to and try to enjoy the good things you find in this new girl and the fun you have with her. Actually, lots of the advice in this thread is pretty much on-target, lots of different things to try.

Best of luck that it passes soon and not too painfully.

Kimmykim · 01-02-2003, 01:04 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by quiet
my ex i've been broke up with for about 8 months. no contact.

recently met someone new. she's hot and seems pretty cool - but i keep thinking about my ex. wtf?

I guess it depends on just what you are thinking about. I'm sure you know that.

Shaggy · 01-02-2003, 01:29 AM

Don't chase em'. Replace em'. Then once they've been replaced you won't think about them too much anymore.

multisexsite · 01-02-2003, 02:08 AM

Women will do that to you. Maybe it'll make you feel better to know that she is going to or has done the same thing.

[Labret] · 01-02-2003, 02:10 AM

I still think about all my ex's all the time. I think about them dying. Slowly.

Its like therapy. It makes me happy.

Paul Markham · 01-02-2003, 02:16 AM

It's natural that when you have something new you think/compare it with the previous one. You'll get ovet it, enjoy the new girlfriend.

FATPad · 01-02-2003, 02:25 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by quiet
my ex i've been broke up with for about 8 months. no contact.

recently met someone new. she's hot and seems pretty cool - but i keep thinking about my ex. wtf?

I think if you gave me all of your money that would help things.

It's a new theory I have and I'm not sure, so if you want, we can start with half and see how that goes.

FATPad · 01-02-2003, 02:27 AM

Oh. Seriously, though...

I've had the same thing happen. It kinda sucks, but it's normal. It does pass eventually.

And don't do the hate thing. That's just lame.

Herb Kornfield · 01-02-2003, 06:33 AM

Funny how old memories come to mind....

Just have to enjoy yourself now. Just remember to keep the memories of what you and your Ex did buried, like the "honey, remember the time we went so and so??" and all you hear is that you and your EX must have went there.....Thats always a great way to walk into a few hours of hell.....

Good luck and enjoy

Triple 6 · 01-02-2003, 07:10 AM

Phoenix66 · 01-02-2003, 08:08 AM

Do not make anything (or anybody) number one in your inner world and you won't be too unhappy when it vanishes.

But missing something you got used to is absolutelly normal. Develop adaptation skills to make it easier.

01-01-2003, 10:32 PM	#1
quiet we'll miss you our friend. RIP Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Fernie, BC Posts: 25,115	women my ex i've been broke up with for about 8 months. no contact. recently met someone new. she's hot and seems pretty cool - but i keep thinking about my ex. wtf? __________________ we'll miss you our friend. RIP

01-01-2003, 10:33 PM	#2
TDF Triple OG nigga on GFY Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: in the BP4L family compound Posts: 27,296	dont torment yourself.Next dream about her roll her over with a steamroller 10 times and listen to the squish..problem solved! __________________ Sig heil

01-01-2003, 10:35 PM	#3
Dusen Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: East Coast. Posts: 2,251	Nothing you can do there. It's super normal. Despite the 8 month absence, I think you are subconciously relating the feelings and experiences you have for this new one to the last time you had them - with your ex. That'll be $34.50 and a big mac coupon please. __________________ Penis Pill Sponsor List and Reviews: http://www.pillsponsors.com

01-01-2003, 10:57 PM	#5
Gutterboy So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Dis Posts: 4,751	Have you read the latest theories about memory, quiet? There was some clinical psychologist.. i forget the name.. who taught rats a maze puzzle. Then he zapped different portions of their brains, starting with the ones thought to be responsible for long & short term memory and motor skills.. in an attempt to erase the trick from their minds, thereby isolating the area of the brain responsible for that particular memory. He couldn't do it. In fact, he found he could kill up to 80% of their brains without them completely losing the inability to do the trick he'd taught them. So memories seem to be made holographically. The entire brain takes a snapshot of your complete state at whatever time the memory was generated, feelings, sights, smells, sounds, tactile sensations etc encountered at the time, and it can usually reconstruct the whole from any of the parts. The more of those parts enountered at the same time, the better the spontaneous recall or association. So I think Dusen is right. Your brain will automatically take all the relationship type shit going on (whether it be places, smells, emotions, wines you drank with your ex, things you ate etc) with this new girl and associate it with your ex simply by force of habit/recall. No different than the way any other spontaneous recall occours. Solution.. give your mind a while to reprogram itself. That'll be treefiddy. Last edited by Gutterboy; 01-01-2003 at 11:06 PM..

01-01-2003, 11:28 PM	#17
quiet we'll miss you our friend. RIP Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Fernie, BC Posts: 25,115	i have rum, but beer sounds better (i'd have to actually get off my ass though)... __________________ we'll miss you our friend. RIP

01-01-2003, 10:44 PM	#4
kenny Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 7,245	Think only about the negative things when you think of her. Only negative things, there is nothing left but negative, think negative, negative is your friend

01-01-2003, 11:00 PM	#6
pine Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: The Falls, eh Posts: 1,373	try this: every time you start to think about your ex- in a good way, try to remember why you broke up with her...and then go get your groove on with your new lady.

01-01-2003, 11:06 PM	#10
mrthumbs salad tossing sig guy Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: mrthumbs*gmail.com Posts: 11,702	btw quiet.. are you aware of the 'back door' trick for your paysites? Or is that just something you invented yourself ?

01-01-2003, 11:09 PM	#11
The Machine Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 859	this is natural when you've been with someone for a long time. it'll pass.

01-02-2003, 12:09 AM	#19
Rep Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 991	I had the same problem, what helped me was this: Recently she fucked one of my close friends and I realized that women are fucking whores and cannot be trusted at all. So we all have AIDS, The end. __________________ who \| grep -i blonde \| date; cd ~; unzip; touch; strip; finger; mount; gasp; yes; uptime; umount; sleep

01-02-2003, 12:12 AM	#20
Darin Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Las Vegas, NV Posts: 345	Your whipped __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

01-02-2003, 12:17 AM	#21
playa Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: atlanta, GA Posts: 6,432	next time you think bout her just imagine that your ex having sex with someone else,, well unless of course your into that kind of stuff

01-02-2003, 12:18 AM	#22
p1mpdogg Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 16,714	does she like girls? 3's a charm... __________________ A fast fortune is easy to earn! Just go with a winner!

01-02-2003, 12:28 AM	#23
chodadog Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 9,736	What's that rule? You need half the time you were with the person to get over them. Personally, i think it's hogwash, but if it was a long term relationship, it is obvioulsy going to take quite a while to get over her completely. It'll just take time, in the meantime, probably not a whole lot you can do. Try to focus on what's great about this girl, maybe. - Dr Brendan

01-02-2003, 12:31 AM	#24
Rep Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 991	BIP - Banged In Passing -- This is the chick you hooked up with on New Years. After a bottle of cheap champagne, you get her hammered and walk her two blocks back to her apartment, bang a load into her just as the blanket of a hangover is starting to creep over your eyes, and stumble home. These chicks have a very limited set of rules that apply to them and for the most part, you're free and clear to bang any of these chicks that your friends have. In fact, its actually encouraged because these lasses usually aren't exactly 'pageant contestants" if you know what I mean and, hey, misery loves company. BIR - Banged in Relationship -- These are the ones you really have to worry about. These are the ones where the ex-boyfriend/your best friend's testosterone levels run high. These are the ones where we strictly adhere to our pre-defined male rules. SEG - Special Event Girl -- This is a chick, that the guy has shared some sort of special event with. Maybe his first love, maybe had a baby with her, she comforted him after some nasty car accident, donated kidney to save his mom, built a deck around his pool, or he lost virginity to. These girls are always a no-no when BIR and require special considerations when BIP. (NOTE Her losing her virginity to him doesn't count because hey, who cares?) TWP - Total Waiting Period -- The total time that you should wait, as defined by the 1:1 Rule, before attempting to bang an eligable ex-girlfriend. WPR - Waiting Period Respected -- Amount of time you actually wait before attemping to bang an eligable ex-girlfriend. For honorable persons, the WPR will always be equal or greater to the TWP. BRF - Banging Risk Factor -- Direct result of adherence to the 11 rule. This is the chance that you will cause irreperable harm to your friendship, by banging his ex-girlfriend. BRF = 100% - (WPR/TWP) 1:1 Rule -- This is a time reference rule that calculated the TWP to bang a chick should be at least equal to if not greated then the period of time she dated your best friend. Respecting the entire TWP as defined by the 11 Rule results in a 0% BRF. Violations of this rule results in a >0% BRF. Now, let's look at an example. Q. Bill and Steve are friends. Bill is dating Julia for 5 months and they break up. Steve now wants to Bang the holy bejesus out of Julia, who has been giving him "the look". Can he do so? How soon? A. Well, since Julia is not she is a SEG, we know the banging can take place and its just a matter of when. However, since she is in fact BIR -- dating Bill for five months -- Steve should wait at least an additional five months (the TWP), per the 1:1 rule, before taking his due turn on Julia. To not do so would result in a >0% BRF and most likely problems with his friendship with Bill. However, should he decide that Julia's ass is just too nice and he can't wait and has to get himself some of that good stuff after the second month, we have the following calculation to determine the BRF. BRF = 100% - (WPR/TWP) BRF = 100% - (2 months / 5 months) BRF = 100% - (0.40) BRF = 100% - 40% Banging Risk Factor = 60% chance that Bill will get drunk and beat the fuck out of Steve after finding out he plugged his ex. See, simple, isn't it? Now, let's apply the same rules to your situation __________________ who \| grep -i blonde \| date; cd ~; unzip; touch; strip; finger; mount; gasp; yes; uptime; umount; sleep

01-02-2003, 12:33 AM	#25
Gemini Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: o-HI-o Posts: 7,183	It sounds like the backside of you brain is smarter than the front side Quiet. Something is or was incomplete. IS rather than was would explain the continued thoughts. ;-) Quit trying to be all cool and one o'de guys and put some thought to the subject and go from there. So long as you keep that going on, you'll not be happy with any other woman. Listening to some of the cretins on THIS board would get you a flat zero. Just like they have. It might just be that you need to complete something from that relationship in order to go on. Or to fully satisfy your inner mind that breaking it off was the absoLUTE right thing to do. __________________ <center><a target="_blank" href="http://dev.datedollars.com/index.php?s=signup&aid=535&cfg=aac"><img border="0" src="http://216.130.172.224/gfy/gsig.gif" width="490" height="100"></a><br><a href="http://dev.datedollars.com/index.php?s=signup&aid=535&cfg=aac" target="_blank"><b><font face="Arial"><font color="#FF99FF"> Buy me away from Slavedriver Smokey!<br>It's May Sig Sweeps!<font></b></center>

01-02-2003, 12:40 AM	#26
Carrie Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Virgin - nee Posts: 3,162	blink blink Ooookay... interesting one, Rep! Quiet, my best friend caught his wife with someone else about 9 months ago. Now he's with a gal who treats him like gold but he still thinks about the ex-hahahaha almost daily, missing her. It'll just take some time. In the meanwhile, go as slow as you need to and try to enjoy the good things you find in this new girl and the fun you have with her. Actually, lots of the advice in this thread is pretty much on-target, lots of different things to try. Best of luck that it passes soon and not too painfully.

01-02-2003, 01:29 AM	#28
Shaggy Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: USA Posts: 570	Don't chase em'. Replace em'. Then once they've been replaced you won't think about them too much anymore.

01-02-2003, 02:08 AM	#29
multisexsite Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 929	Women will do that to you. Maybe it'll make you feel better to know that she is going to or has done the same thing.

01-02-2003, 02:10 AM	#30
[Labret] Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: Са́нкт-Петербу́рг Posts: 10,945	I still think about all my ex's all the time. I think about them dying. Slowly. Its like therapy. It makes me happy.

01-02-2003, 02:16 AM	#31
Paul Markham Too old to care Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: On the sofa, watching TV or doing my jigsaws. Posts: 52,943	It's natural that when you have something new you think/compare it with the previous one. You'll get ovet it, enjoy the new girlfriend. __________________ Blowout deal. 880 videos, 2,400 image sets, plus many RAW videos. $500. PM me for a deal. Skype Paulmarkham70

01-02-2003, 02:27 AM	#33
FATPad Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 6,693	Oh. Seriously, though... I've had the same thing happen. It kinda sucks, but it's normal. It does pass eventually. And don't do the hate thing. That's just lame. __________________ <a href="http://www.adultcontent.co.uk">Adult Content UK - Great British Content</a>

01-02-2003, 06:33 AM	#34
Herb Kornfield Is on the 1 Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Philly Burbs Posts: 4,996	Funny how old memories come to mind.... Just have to enjoy yourself now. Just remember to keep the memories of what you and your Ex did buried, like the "honey, remember the time we went so and so??" and all you hear is that you and your EX must have went there.....Thats always a great way to walk into a few hours of hell..... Good luck and enjoy

01-02-2003, 07:10 AM	#35
Triple 6 Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: isN'T everything Posts: 5,394	. __________________ SIG TOO SMALL! Maximum 1200x600 button and no more than 30 text lines of ALL SIZES and COLORS. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 6240x4800 instead of a 1024x800.

01-02-2003, 08:08 AM	#36
Phoenix66 Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 823	Do not make anything (or anybody) number one in your inner world and you won't be too unhappy when it vanishes. But missing something you got used to is absolutelly normal. Develop adaptation skills to make it easier. __________________ Adult Niche Traffic Exchange