women
 

my ex i've been broke up with for about 8 months. no contact.

recently met someone new. she's hot and seems pretty cool - but i keep thinking about my ex. wtf?

dont torment yourself.Next dream about her roll her over with a steamroller 10 times and listen to the squish..problem solved! :)

Nothing you can do there. It's super normal.

Despite the 8 month absence, I think you are subconciously relating the feelings and experiences you have for this new one to the last time you had them - with your ex.

That'll be $34.50 and a big mac coupon please.

Think only about the negative things when you think of her.
Only negative things, there is nothing left but negative, think negative, negative is your friend

Have you read the latest theories about memory, quiet?

There was some clinical psychologist.. i forget the name.. who taught rats a maze puzzle. Then he zapped different portions of their brains, starting with the ones thought to be responsible for long & short term memory and motor skills.. in an attempt to erase the trick from their minds, thereby isolating the area of the brain responsible for that particular memory. He couldn't do it. In fact, he found he could kill up to 80% of their brains without them completely losing the inability to do the trick he'd taught them.

So memories seem to be made holographically. The entire brain takes a snapshot of your complete state at whatever time the memory was generated, feelings, sights, smells, sounds, tactile sensations etc encountered at the time, and it can usually reconstruct the whole from any of the parts. The more of those parts enountered at the same time, the better the spontaneous recall or association.

So I think Dusen is right. Your brain will automatically take all the relationship type shit going on (whether it be places, smells, emotions, wines you drank with your ex, things you ate etc) with this new girl and associate it with your ex simply by force of habit/recall. No different than the way any other spontaneous recall occours.

Solution.. give your mind a while to reprogram itself.

That'll be treefiddy.

try this: every time you start to think about your ex- in a good way, try to remember why you broke up with her...and then go get your groove on with your new lady.

she's not hot and cool enough then..

i know if i had the 'hottest' girl ever available, it wouldn't neccesarily mean jack.

cool is another issue.

The negative factor plays a role here:glugglug

btw quiet.. are you aware of the 'back door' trick for your paysites?

Or is that just something you invented yourself ?

this is natural when you've been with someone for a long time. it'll pass.

Maybe you loved her....... HAHAHAHAHA
AHHAHAHAHA OH MAN HAHAHAHAHHAHA
hahaha.... *sigh*

No, but seriously... that happned to me once and the girl i missed actually came back!!!! (then I kicked her out becasue she gave me the clap)

Why I feel the need to write 3 paragraphs for something that can be explained just as well in 15 words I do not know.

Maybe its the beer.

:glugglug

beer is good ;)

:glugglug

I like beer:glugglug

i have rum, but beer sounds better (i'd have to actually get off my ass though)...

maybe she broke up with him :glugglug

my only suggestion...give it time, i don't think there's a need
to think bad about your ex after all she "used" to be someone special.
good memories are not a bad thing !

I had the same problem, what helped me was this:

Recently she fucked one of my close friends and I realized that women are fucking whores and cannot be trusted at all.

So we all have AIDS,

The end.

Your whipped :Graucho

next time you think bout her just imagine that your ex having sex with someone else,, well unless of course your into that kind of stuff

does she like girls?


3's a charm... :2 cents:

What's that rule? You need half the time you were with the person to get over them.

Personally, i think it's hogwash, but if it was a long term relationship, it is obvioulsy going to take quite a while to get over her completely. It'll just take time, in the meantime, probably not a whole lot you can do. Try to focus on what's great about this girl, maybe.

- Dr Brendan

BIP - Banged In Passing -- This is the chick you hooked up with on New Years. After a bottle of cheap champagne, you get her hammered and walk her two blocks back to her apartment, bang a load into her just as the blanket of a hangover is starting to creep over your eyes, and stumble home. These chicks have a very limited set of rules that apply to them and for the most part, you're free and clear to bang any of these chicks that your friends have. In fact, its actually encouraged because these lasses usually aren't exactly 'pageant contestants" if you know what I mean and, hey, misery loves company.

BIR - Banged in Relationship -- These are the ones you really have to worry about. These are the ones where the ex-boyfriend/your best friend's testosterone levels run high. These are the ones where we strictly adhere to our pre-defined male rules.

SEG - Special Event Girl -- This is a chick, that the guy has shared some sort of special event with. Maybe his first love, maybe had a baby with her, she comforted him after some nasty car accident, donated kidney to save his mom, built a deck around his pool, or he lost virginity to. These girls are *always* a no-no when BIR and require special considerations when BIP. (NOTE Her losing her virginity to him doesn't count because hey, who cares?)

TWP - Total Waiting Period -- The total time that you should wait, as defined by the 1:1 Rule, before attempting to bang an eligable ex-girlfriend.

WPR - Waiting Period Respected -- Amount of time you actually wait before attemping to bang an eligable ex-girlfriend. For honorable persons, the WPR will always be equal or greater to the TWP.

BRF - Banging Risk Factor -- Direct result of adherence to the 11 rule. This is the chance that you will cause irreperable harm to your friendship, by banging his ex-girlfriend. BRF = 100% - (WPR/TWP)

1:1 Rule -- This is a time reference rule that calculated the TWP to bang a chick should be at least equal to if not greated then the period of time she dated your best friend. Respecting the entire TWP as defined by the 11 Rule results in a 0% BRF. Violations of this rule results in a >0% BRF.

Now, let's look at an example.

Q. Bill and Steve are friends. Bill is dating Julia for 5 months and they break up. Steve now wants to Bang the holy bejesus out of Julia, who has been giving him "the look". Can he do so? How soon?
A. Well, since Julia is not she is a SEG, we know the banging can take place and its just a matter of when. However, since she is in fact BIR -- dating Bill for five months -- Steve should wait at least an additional five months (the TWP), per the 1:1 rule, before taking his due turn on Julia. To not do so would result in a >0% BRF and most likely problems with his friendship with Bill.
However, should he decide that Julia's ass is just too nice and he can't wait and has to get himself some of that good stuff after the second month, we have the following calculation to determine the BRF.
BRF = 100% - (WPR/TWP)
BRF = 100% - (2 months / 5 months)
BRF = 100% - (0.40)
BRF = 100% - 40%
Banging Risk Factor = 60% chance that Bill will get drunk and beat the fuck out of Steve after finding out he plugged his ex.

See, simple, isn't it? Now, let's apply the same rules to your situation

It sounds like the backside of you brain is smarter than the front side Quiet. Something is or was incomplete. IS rather than was would explain the continued thoughts. ;-) Quit trying to be all cool and one o'de guys and put some thought to the subject and go from there.

So long as you keep that going on, you'll not be happy with any other woman. Listening to some of the cretins on THIS board would get you a flat zero. Just like they have. :1orglaugh It might just be that you need to complete something from that relationship in order to go on. Or to fully satisfy your inner mind that breaking it off was the absoLUTE right thing to do.

*blink blink*
Ooookay... interesting one, Rep! :)

Quiet, my best friend *caught* his wife with someone else about 9 months ago. Now he's with a gal who treats him like gold but he still thinks about the ex-hahahaha almost daily, missing her.

It'll just take some time. In the meanwhile, go as slow as you need to and try to enjoy the good things you find in this new girl and the fun you have with her. Actually, lots of the advice in this thread is pretty much on-target, lots of different things to try.

Best of luck that it passes soon and not too painfully.

I guess it depends on just what you are thinking about. I'm sure you know that.

Don't chase em'. Replace em'. Then once they've been replaced you won't think about them too much anymore.

Women will do that to you. Maybe it'll make you feel better to know that she is going to or has done the same thing.

I still think about all my ex's all the time. I think about them dying. Slowly.

Its like therapy. It makes me happy.

It's natural that when you have something new you think/compare it with the previous one. You'll get ovet it, enjoy the new girlfriend.

I think if you gave me all of your money that would help things.

It's a new theory I have and I'm not sure, so if you want, we can start with half and see how that goes.

Oh. Seriously, though...

I've had the same thing happen. It kinda sucks, but it's normal. It does pass eventually.

And don't do the hate thing. That's just lame.

Funny how old memories come to mind....

Just have to enjoy yourself now. Just remember to keep the memories of what you and your Ex did buried, like the "honey, remember the time we went so and so??" and all you hear is that you and your EX must have went there.....Thats always a great way to walk into a few hours of hell.....

Good luck and enjoy

.

Do not make anything (or anybody) number one in your inner world and you won't be too unhappy when it vanishes.

But missing something you got used to is absolutelly normal. Develop adaptation skills to make it easier.