Black Sheep Family Members! - GoFuckYourself.com

GTS Mark · 12-30-2002, 11:44 PM

I know everybody has one...

My retarded uncle Pat is this crazy uncle of mine that lives out in the middle of fucking nowhere. He is divorced twice and lives on his own. He is an avid gun collector and loves to hunt, for fucks sake the guy sits around in his camoflauge fatigues half the time when he is at home. He lives on a steady diet of coors light and raw scheniders hot dogs with mustard. Yes he just dips the raw hot dogs in the mustard jar and eats them. Yes I know serious class!

He once sat outside Blockbuster in his pickup truck for 6 hours waiting for a movie to be returned! Yes I said 6 hours!

This retarded uncle of mine has not once but TWICE burnt his house down. The first time he did it by smoking in bed and the second time was when he left the fryer on in his kitchen while making french fries. He went upstairs to change and fell asleep! Both times his neighbour had to come into his house and save his dumb ass! And believe it or not both times the insurance company paid to rebuild his house... Although after the latest fire he was given a hard time so he threatened to sue everyone! LOL!

Anyways my uncle is so retarded that he didn't happen to notice his right foot was going a very odd color... That color was fucking BLACK!!! He is one of those guys who never went to the doctor and guess what he had a very progressed case of diabetes. The diabetes was so terrible that his foot started to deteriorate due to no blood flow. And so be it his foot went black as no blood was going into it. The stupid fucker went to the hospital expecting they would give him some anti-biotics and low and behold they had to cut his whole goddamn foot off!!! NO KIDDING!!!

Anyways this stupid bastard is in the hospital and whining poor me and poor me.

Now most of my family is made up of doctors and lawyers but he is that one black sheep of the family. Anybody else have good stories of their crazy family members?

DH

Pipecrew · 12-30-2002, 11:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DrinkingHard
I know everybody has one...

My retarded uncle Pat is this crazy uncle of mine that lives out in the middle of fucking nowhere. He is divorced twice and lives on his own. He is an avid gun collector and loves to hunt, for fucks sake the guy sits around in his camoflauge fatigues half the time when he is at home. He lives on a steady diet of coors light and raw scheniders hot dogs with mustard. Yes he just dips the raw hot dogs in the mustard jar and eats them. Yes I know serious class!

He once sat outside Blockbuster in his pickup truck for 6 hours waiting for a movie to be returned! Yes I said 6 hours!

This retarded uncle of mine has not once but TWICE burnt his house down. The first time he did it by smoking in bed and the second time was when he left the fryer on in his kitchen while making french fries. He went upstairs to change and fell asleep! Both times his neighbour had to come into his house and save his dumb ass! And believe it or not both times the insurance company paid to rebuild his house... Although after the latest fire he was given a hard time so he threatened to sue everyone! LOL!

Anyways my uncle is so retarded that he didn't happen to notice his right foot was going a very odd color... That color was fucking BLACK!!! He is one of those guys who never went to the doctor and guess what he had a very progressed case of diabetes. The diabetes was so terrible that his foot started to deteriorate due to no blood flow. And so be it his foot went black as no blood was going into it. The stupid fucker went to the hospital expecting they would give him some anti-biotics and low and behold they had to cut his whole goddamn foot off!!! NO KIDDING!!!

Anyways this stupid bastard is in the hospital and whining poor me and poor me.

Now most of my family is made up of doctors and lawyers but he is that one black sheep of the family. Anybody else have good stories of their crazy family members?

DH

Pimpdog????????????????

dirtyone · 12-30-2002, 11:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DrinkingHard
I know everybody has one...

My retarded uncle Pat is this crazy uncle of mine that lives out in the middle of fucking nowhere. He is divorced twice and lives on his own. He is an avid gun collector and loves to hunt, for fucks sake the guy sits around in his camoflauge fatigues half the time when he is at home. He lives on a steady diet of coors light and raw scheniders hot dogs with mustard. Yes he just dips the raw hot dogs in the mustard jar and eats them. Yes I know serious class!

I see nothing wrong here.

TDF · 12-30-2002, 11:56 PM

he likes taters and mustard mmhmmm

theking · 12-30-2002, 11:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by dirtyone

I see nothing wrong here.

Agreed.

MissEve · 12-31-2002, 12:37 AM

My grandmother is insane. She is a "collector", she has lived in her house forever, its 5 bedrooms, two stories with a 3 car garage. It is COMPLETELY filled with SHIT that she has saved or bought at Salvation Army. My grandfather was living in their basement apartment because he couldnt deal with her. Then her fridge stopped working and he told her to clear a path big enough to move it out of the house but she decided that wasn't going to happen so she just cleaned the food out of it and closed up the top story of the house and moved into the basement with Grandpa. He then moved out and bought himself a trailer a few blocks away and refuses to give her the keys. Now there are squirrels living in the upstairs.

Once my uncle stopped by to pick something up with a friend. When he came out of the house his friend asked him wtf was in the upstairs window. My grandma had so much shit piled on the counters that she couldnt see out of the window so she was standing backwards looking out the window with one of those mirrors on a telescoping handle that mechanics use!!! They could see her fucking face in the reflection of the mirror, lol

The downstairs basement apartment she moved into had a kitchen sink and a hot plate. She had so many dishes and shit piled in the sink that she couldnt get water from the tap, she had to use the sprayer. She bought one of those long lighters to light the gas hot plate and it was sitting on top of a pile of papers and shit on the counter. She was cooking something and there was an avalanche of the papers and the lighter went flying into the flaming burner. It exploded in her face and singed her eyebrows etc and she couldnt turn the fucking water on so she was trying to put out her burning eyebrows with the goddamn SPRAYER!!!

I could go on forever ;)

FlyingIguana · 12-31-2002, 12:38 AM

in my family the black sheep are the normal ones

Amputate Your Head · 12-31-2002, 12:41 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by DrinkingHard
I know everybody has one...

Anybody else have good stories of their crazy family members?

DH

I am the black sheep of my family. I've been banished from the inner circle that once was my family. Now I only have contact with my most immediate. Mother, brother, & kids.

Honeyslut · 12-31-2002, 12:44 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by FlyingIguana
in my family the black sheep are the normal ones

LOL

I can relate...

12-30-2002, 11:44 PM	#1
GTS Mark Vrume Mark Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Toronto, Canada Posts: 20,912	Black Sheep Family Members! I know everybody has one... My retarded uncle Pat is this crazy uncle of mine that lives out in the middle of fucking nowhere. He is divorced twice and lives on his own. He is an avid gun collector and loves to hunt, for fucks sake the guy sits around in his camoflauge fatigues half the time when he is at home. He lives on a steady diet of coors light and raw scheniders hot dogs with mustard. Yes he just dips the raw hot dogs in the mustard jar and eats them. Yes I know serious class! He once sat outside Blockbuster in his pickup truck for 6 hours waiting for a movie to be returned! Yes I said 6 hours! This retarded uncle of mine has not once but TWICE burnt his house down. The first time he did it by smoking in bed and the second time was when he left the fryer on in his kitchen while making french fries. He went upstairs to change and fell asleep! Both times his neighbour had to come into his house and save his dumb ass! And believe it or not both times the insurance company paid to rebuild his house... Although after the latest fire he was given a hard time so he threatened to sue everyone! LOL! Anyways my uncle is so retarded that he didn't happen to notice his right foot was going a very odd color... That color was fucking BLACK!!! He is one of those guys who never went to the doctor and guess what he had a very progressed case of diabetes. The diabetes was so terrible that his foot started to deteriorate due to no blood flow. And so be it his foot went black as no blood was going into it. The stupid fucker went to the hospital expecting they would give him some anti-biotics and low and behold they had to cut his whole goddamn foot off!!! NO KIDDING!!! Anyways this stupid bastard is in the hospital and whining poor me and poor me. Now most of my family is made up of doctors and lawyers but he is that one black sheep of the family. Anybody else have good stories of their crazy family members? DH

12-30-2002, 11:56 PM	#4
TDF Triple OG nigga on GFY Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: in the BP4L family compound Posts: 27,296	he likes taters and mustard mmhmmm __________________ Sig heil

12-31-2002, 12:37 AM	#6
MissEve Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Anchorage, AK Posts: 583	My grandmother is insane. She is a "collector", she has lived in her house forever, its 5 bedrooms, two stories with a 3 car garage. It is COMPLETELY filled with SHIT that she has saved or bought at Salvation Army. My grandfather was living in their basement apartment because he couldnt deal with her. Then her fridge stopped working and he told her to clear a path big enough to move it out of the house but she decided that wasn't going to happen so she just cleaned the food out of it and closed up the top story of the house and moved into the basement with Grandpa. He then moved out and bought himself a trailer a few blocks away and refuses to give her the keys. Now there are squirrels living in the upstairs. Once my uncle stopped by to pick something up with a friend. When he came out of the house his friend asked him wtf was in the upstairs window. My grandma had so much shit piled on the counters that she couldnt see out of the window so she was standing backwards looking out the window with one of those mirrors on a telescoping handle that mechanics use!!! They could see her fucking face in the reflection of the mirror, lol The downstairs basement apartment she moved into had a kitchen sink and a hot plate. She had so many dishes and shit piled in the sink that she couldnt get water from the tap, she had to use the sprayer. She bought one of those long lighters to light the gas hot plate and it was sitting on top of a pile of papers and shit on the counter. She was cooking something and there was an avalanche of the papers and the lighter went flying into the flaming burner. It exploded in her face and singed her eyebrows etc and she couldnt turn the fucking water on so she was trying to put out her burning eyebrows with the goddamn SPRAYER!!! I could go on forever ;)

12-31-2002, 12:38 AM	#7
FlyingIguana aspiring banker Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: toronto Posts: 10,870	in my family the black sheep are the normal ones