Retired Cop moves to Alaska.... - GoFuckYourself.com

Martin · 12-15-2009, 12:07 PM

Dick had
been in Police work
for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress, he quits his job
and
buys 50 acres of
land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible.
He sees the postman once a week and gets
groceries once a
month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.

After six months or so
of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it
and
a huge, bearded
man is standing there.

'Name's Cliff, your neighbour from forty
miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night. Thought you
might like to come at about 5:00....'

'Great', says Rick, 'after
six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you.'

As Cliff is leaving, he stops. 'Gotta warn you. Be some
drinking'.'

'Not a problem' says Rick.. 'After 25
years
in the business, I
can drink with the best of 'em'.

Again, the big man starts to leave
and stops. ' More 'n' likely gonna be some fighting' too.'

'Well, I
get along with people, I'll be all right! I'll be there. Thanks
again.'

'More'n likely be some wild sex, too,'

'Now that's
really not a problem' says Rick, warming to the idea. 'I've been all alone
for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I
wear?'

'Don't much
matter. Just gonna be the two of
us.'

WebairMetz · 12-15-2009, 12:12 PM

roflmao funny

Axelo9 · 12-15-2009, 12:15 PM

L-Pink · 12-15-2009, 12:18 PM

great lol

.

David! · 12-15-2009, 12:26 PM

okny · 12-15-2009, 12:28 PM

I wasn't expecting the last line, good one

bloggerz · 12-15-2009, 12:30 PM

lol good one

Mutt · 12-15-2009, 12:44 PM

hehee very good

Bryan G · 12-15-2009, 12:50 PM

Lol!!!!!

KILL_FRENZY · 12-15-2009, 01:22 PM

Shit that's funny. Better tell it to someone before I forget it. Thanks for the laughs

u-Bob · 12-15-2009, 01:30 PM

hehe

LeRoy · 12-15-2009, 01:38 PM

nice one

baddog · 12-15-2009, 01:39 PM

Joke is older than half the people on this board. Older than the OP for sure.

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 12-15-2009, 01:44 PM

A man gets powerful lonely out in the wilderness...

Okay, here's a quickie:

A young man walks into a bar in Alaska. After many drinks, he announces to the whole bar that he is proud to be a new Alaskan.

One of the old timers at the bar laughs at him and asks him if he has gone through the
"Ritual" yet. The lad asks what the "ritual" entails. The old timer says,"Well, to be an Alaskan, you have to kill a Polar Bear and fuck an Eskimo."

The young man says that he hasn't done either yet, so he and the old timer continue to drink heavily together and the old timer answers his questions about the "Ritual". Afterwards, the young man stands up and wobbles out of the bar drunk as can be.

About four hours later, he struggles back into the bar, all scratched and cut up. He summons all of his strength and shouts out "Where is this damn Eskimo I have to kill?"

ADG

WebairDanny · 12-15-2009, 02:06 PM

hahaha....good one =)

SleazyDream · 12-15-2009, 02:11 PM

buuuuuuhahahahahahahahaha

HomerSimpson · 12-15-2009, 02:12 PM

hahaha good one...

Sid70 · 12-15-2009, 02:30 PM

good one.

DaddyHalbucks · 12-15-2009, 02:54 PM

Very funny, thanks!

AK · 12-15-2009, 04:48 PM

hahahaha that is funny

junkiefans · 12-15-2009, 08:06 PM

lol

great

Angry Jew Cat - Banned for Life · 12-15-2009, 08:09 PM

Pleasurepays · 12-15-2009, 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by okny

I wasn't expecting the last line, good one

must be exciting.. your first joke.

hint... usually the last line is unexpected

you'll enjoy jokes now that you know the secret.

Deej · 12-15-2009, 08:18 PM

Yea ive heard quite a few variations of this joke... but for sure a good one for first timers...

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 12-15-2009, 08:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pleasurepays

must be exciting.. your first joke.

hint... usually the last line is unexpected

you'll enjoy jokes now that you know the secret.

Aw, take it easy on him...

I used to think that a punchline is what you stand in at parties.

ADG

Mutt · 12-15-2009, 08:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pleasurepays

must be exciting.. your first joke.

hint... usually the last line is unexpected

you'll enjoy jokes now that you know the secret.

Fat Panda · 12-15-2009, 09:19 PM

maybe palin will be there

fatfoo · 12-15-2009, 09:33 PM

If Sarah Palin knocked on his door it would be hotter.

themadwriter · 12-16-2009, 05:47 AM

made for a real good morning laugh! Thanks!

Bird · 12-16-2009, 05:51 AM

wasn't expecting a joke. that was funny.

Martin · 12-16-2009, 06:19 AM

Yeah my buddy sent me that one. I thought it was pretty good too

Serial Pervert · 12-16-2009, 06:32 AM

lol! Nice!

tranza · 12-16-2009, 08:46 AM

Hahaha...nice ones!

GetSCORECash · 12-16-2009, 09:06 AM

That's great! lol

John-ACWM · 12-16-2009, 10:50 AM

solitude is bad

JFK · 12-16-2009, 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by baddog

Joke is older than half the people on this board. Older than the OP for sure.

indeed it is

Cyber Fucker · 12-16-2009, 11:20 AM

12-15-2009, 12:07 PM	#1
Martin "Assassins" Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: At home Posts: 17,277	Retired Cop moves to Alaska.... Dick had been in Police work for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and a huge, bearded man is standing there. 'Name's Cliff, your neighbour from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night. Thought you might like to come at about 5:00....' 'Great', says Rick, 'after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you.' As Cliff is leaving, he stops. 'Gotta warn you. Be some drinking'.' 'Not a problem' says Rick.. 'After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em'. Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. ' More 'n' likely gonna be some fighting' too.' 'Well, I get along with people, I'll be all right! I'll be there. Thanks again.' 'More'n likely be some wild sex, too,' 'Now that's really not a problem' says Rick, warming to the idea. 'I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?' 'Don't much matter. Just gonna be the two of us.' __________________

12-15-2009, 12:12 PM	#2
WebairMetz Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 920	roflmao funny __________________ Webair Internet Development, Inc. Phone: 1 866 WEBAIR 1 Fax: 516.938.5100 x-152 [email protected] aim: WebairMetzger ICQ: 489798823

12-15-2009, 12:15 PM	#3
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12-15-2009, 12:26 PM	#5
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12-15-2009, 12:28 PM	#6
okny Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: The Vault Posts: 5,761	I wasn't expecting the last line, good one __________________ Aim: okny Icq: 306232 Skype: OlegKrasBT

12-15-2009, 12:18 PM	#4
L-Pink working on my tan Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Florida/Kentucky Posts: 39,151	great lol .

12-15-2009, 12:30 PM	#7
bloggerz Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 16,255	lol good one __________________ I SELL ADULT BACKLINKS! Email: eroticweb>gmail SKYPE: gfybloggerz $$$$$ MAKE HUGE MONEY IN CAMS - CLICK HERE $$$$$

12-15-2009, 12:44 PM	#8
Mutt Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 34,431	hehee very good __________________ I moved my sites to Vacares Hosting. I've saved money, my hair is thicker, lost some weight too! Thanks Sly!

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12-15-2009, 01:22 PM	#10
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12-15-2009, 01:30 PM	#11
u-Bob there's no $$$ in porn Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: icq: 195./568.-230 (btw: not getting offline msgs) Posts: 33,063	hehe

12-15-2009, 01:38 PM	#12
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12-15-2009, 01:39 PM	#13
baddog So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: the beach, SoCal Posts: 107,089	Joke is older than half the people on this board. Older than the OP for sure.

12-15-2009, 01:44 PM	#14
AsianDivaGirlsWebDude Purveyor, Fine Asian Porn Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: San Francisco Bay Area Posts: 38,323	A man gets powerful lonely out in the wilderness... Okay, here's a quickie: A young man walks into a bar in Alaska. After many drinks, he announces to the whole bar that he is proud to be a new Alaskan. One of the old timers at the bar laughs at him and asks him if he has gone through the "Ritual" yet. The lad asks what the "ritual" entails. The old timer says,"Well, to be an Alaskan, you have to kill a Polar Bear and fuck an Eskimo." The young man says that he hasn't done either yet, so he and the old timer continue to drink heavily together and the old timer answers his questions about the "Ritual". Afterwards, the young man stands up and wobbles out of the bar drunk as can be. About four hours later, he struggles back into the bar, all scratched and cut up. He summons all of his strength and shouts out "Where is this damn Eskimo I have to kill?" ADG __________________ Asian Diva Girls - Exclusive Photos and Videos Asian Diva Girls Affiliate Program (50% ccBill Revshare)

12-15-2009, 02:06 PM	#15
WebairDanny Registered User Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 64	hahaha....good one =) __________________ Webair Internet Development, Inc. Phone: 1 866 WEBAIR 1 x-214 Fax: 516.938.5100 [email protected] AIM: WebairDanny ICQ: 602-774-617

12-15-2009, 02:11 PM	#16
SleazyDream I'm here for SPORT Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phone # (401) 285-0696 Posts: 41,470	buuuuuuhahahahahahahahaha __________________ This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! Now read without the word dog.

12-15-2009, 02:12 PM	#17
HomerSimpson Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Springfield Posts: 13,826	hahaha good one... __________________ Make a bank with Chaturbate - the best selling webcam program Ads that can't be block with AdBlockers !!! /// Best paying popup program (Bitcoin payouts) !!! PHP, MySql, Smarty, CodeIgniter, Laravel, WordPress, NATS... fixing stuff, server migrations & optimizations... My ICQ: 27429884 \| Email:

12-15-2009, 02:30 PM	#18
Sid70 Downshifter Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Road trip Posts: 16,413	good one. __________________ Русня, идите нахуй!

12-15-2009, 02:54 PM	#19
DaddyHalbucks A freakin' legend! Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Las Vegas, Nevada USA Posts: 18,975	Very funny, thanks! __________________ Boner Money

12-15-2009, 04:48 PM	#20
AK MadZuma Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: California Posts: 6,436	hahahaha that is funny __________________ Alfonsus Kusuma (AK) ak at madzuma.com skype me - alfonsus.com

12-15-2009, 08:06 PM	#21
junkiefans Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 100	lol great

12-15-2009, 08:09 PM	#22
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12-15-2009, 08:18 PM	#24
Deej I make pixels work Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: I live here... Posts: 24,386	Yea ive heard quite a few variations of this joke... but for sure a good one for first timers... __________________ Deej's Designs n' What Not Hit me up for Design, CSS & Photo Retouching Icq#30096880

12-15-2009, 09:19 PM	#27
Fat Panda Porn is Dead. Move along. Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 13,296	maybe palin will be there

12-15-2009, 09:33 PM	#28
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12-16-2009, 05:47 AM	#29
themadwriter Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Experienced SEO Copywriter at your service! Posts: 1,427	made for a real good morning laugh! Thanks! __________________ icq : 591247121 xxxcopywriters.com

12-16-2009, 05:51 AM	#30
Bird Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Stockton Posts: 4,365	wasn't expecting a joke. that was funny. __________________ ICQ:268731675

12-16-2009, 06:19 AM	#31
Martin "Assassins" Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: At home Posts: 17,277	Yeah my buddy sent me that one. I thought it was pretty good too __________________

12-16-2009, 06:32 AM	#32
Serial Pervert Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 2,666	lol! Nice! __________________

12-16-2009, 08:46 AM	#33
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12-16-2009, 10:50 AM	#35
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12-16-2009, 11:20 AM	#37
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