GM vs. Microsoft - GoFuckYourself.com

OzKaNoz · 12-10-2002, 08:54 PM

Subject: GM vs. Microsoft
Note: The following never happened

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating if GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to start, in which case you have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT." But then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
7. The oil, water temperature and alternator lights would be replaced by a single "general car fault" warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.
10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
11. Every time GM would introduce a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
12. You'd press the "Start" button to shut off the engine

Oz

12-10-2002, 08:56 PM

this is one of the oldest stories I ever heard about M$.

OzKaNoz · 12-10-2002, 08:58 PM

I know, but it's still funny.
Got any better?

Oz

mrthumbs · 12-10-2002, 08:59 PM

From: byoung ([email protected])
Subject: Bill Gates on Autos
View: Complete Thread (3 articles)
Original Format
Newsgroups: rec.autos.makers.jeep+willys
Date: 1997/10/04

Since we all seem to be interested in cars and computers, I thought
following item would be of interest.
At a computer expo (COMDEX) Bill Gates reportedly compared the auto
industry with the computer industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with
technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25
cars that got 1,000 miles per gallon.
Recently General Motors addressed this comment, by releasing this
statement:
"Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?".

As Always,
Bruce
'97 TJ

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12-10-2002, 08:54 PM	#1
OzKaNoz Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Deep With In Your Mind Posts: 1,834	GM vs. Microsoft Subject: GM vs. Microsoft Note: The following never happened At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating if GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics: 1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day. 2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car. 3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on. 4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to start, in which case you have to reinstall the engine. 5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT." But then you would have to buy more seats. 6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads. 7. The oil, water temperature and alternator lights would be replaced by a single "general car fault" warning light. 8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt. 9. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off. 10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. 11. Every time GM would introduce a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car. 12. You'd press the "Start" button to shut off the engine Oz __________________ Techie Media Web Hosting

12-10-2002, 08:58 PM	#3
OzKaNoz Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Deep With In Your Mind Posts: 1,834	I know, but it's still funny. Got any better? Oz __________________ Techie Media Web Hosting

12-10-2002, 08:56 PM	#2
X37375787 Guest Posts: n/a	this is one of the oldest stories I ever heard about M$.

12-10-2002, 08:59 PM	#4
mrthumbs salad tossing sig guy Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: mrthumbs*gmail.com Posts: 11,702	From: byoung ([email protected]) Subject: Bill Gates on Autos View: Complete Thread (3 articles) Original Format Newsgroups: rec.autos.makers.jeep+willys Date: 1997/10/04 Since we all seem to be interested in cars and computers, I thought following item would be of interest. At a computer expo (COMDEX) Bill Gates reportedly compared the auto industry with the computer industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles per gallon. Recently General Motors addressed this comment, by releasing this statement: "Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?". As Always, Bruce '97 TJ --------------------------------------------------------------------------------