Roger Ebert's take on Transformers 2 - GoFuckYourself.com

Libertine · 06-27-2009, 08:19 PM

One of the most entertaining reviews I've read in the past few years

Quote:

"Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" is a horrible experience of unbearable length, briefly punctuated by three or four amusing moments. One of these involves a dog-like robot humping the leg of the heroine. Such are the meager joys. If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination.

The plot is incomprehensible. The dialog of the Autobots®, Decepticons® and Otherbots® is meaningless word flap. Their accents are Brooklyese, British and hip-hop, as befits a race from the distant stars. Their appearance looks like junkyard throw-up. They are dumb as a rock. They share the film with human characters who are much more interesting, and that is very faint praise indeed.

The movie has been signed by Michael Bay. This is the same man who directed "The Rock" in 1996. Now he has made "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen." Faust made a better deal. This isn't a film so much as a toy tie-in. Children holding a Transformer toy in their hand can invest it with wonder and magic, imagining it doing brave deeds and remaining always their friend. I knew a little boy once who lost his blue toy truck at the movies, and cried as if his heart would break. Such a child might regard "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" with fear and dismay.

The human actors are in a witless sitcom part of the time, and lot of the rest of their time is spent running in slo-mo away from explosions, although--hello!--you can't outrun an explosion. They also make speeches like this one by John Turturro: "Oh, no! The machine is buried in the pyramid! If they turn it on, it will destroy the sun! Not on my watch!" The humans, including lots of U.S. troops, shoot at the Transformers a lot, although never in the history of science fiction has an alien been harmed by gunfire.

There are many great-looking babes in the film, who are made up to a flawless perfection and look just like real women, if you are a junior fanboy whose experience of the gender is limited to lad magazines. The two most inexplicable characters are Ron and Judy Witwicky (Kevin Dunn and Julie White), who are the parents of Shia LaBeouf, who Mephistopheles threw in to sweeten the deal. They take their son away to Princeton, apparently a party school, where Judy eats some pot and goes berserk. Later they swoop down out of the sky on Egypt, for reasons the movie doesn't make crystal clear, so they also can run in slo-mo from explosions.

The battle scenes are bewildering. A Bot makes no visual sense anyway, but two or three tangled up together create an incomprehensible confusion. I find it amusing that creatures that can unfold out of a Camaro and stand four stories high do most of their fighting with...fists. Like I say, dumber than a box of staples. They have tiny little heads, although Jetfire® must be made of older models, since he has an aluminum beard.

Aware that this movie opened in England seven hours before Chicago time and the morning papers would be on the streets, after writing the above I looked up the first reviews as a reality check. I was reassured: "Like watching paint dry while getting hit over the head with a frying pan!" (Bradshaw, Guardian); "Sums up everything that is most tedious, crass and despicable about modern Hollywood!" (Tookey, Daily Mail); "A giant, lumbering idiot of a movie!" (Edwards, Daily Mirror). The first American review, Todd Gilchrist of Cinematical, reported that Bay's "ambition runs a mile long and an inch deep," but, in a spirited defense, says "this must be the most movie I have ever experienced." He is bullish on the box office: it "feels destined to be the biggest movie of all time." It?s certainly the biggest something of all time.

http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/...IEWS/906239997

Adam X · 06-27-2009, 08:23 PM

I saw this review inside one of my iphone apps before going to see it last week.

Frankly I thought the movie was fairly entertaining.

Ebert is just getting too old.. this movie is for a young audience looking for
the same laughable, graphically blistering experience they got from the first movie.

My ex dated Michael Bay, lol, we texted him with a decent review after the movie as he
was curious what we thought.

Agent 488 · 06-27-2009, 08:28 PM

i'm sure it will be a big hit.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/There%2...n_every_minute

Libertine · 06-27-2009, 08:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adam X

Ebert is just getting too old.. this movie is for a young audience looking for the same laughable, graphically blistering experience they got from the first movie.

No, this movie is for people who don't mind being treated like mentally handicapped, ADHD-ridden six year olds. People who wouldn't recognize a coherent story if it walked up to them and hit them in the face with a brick. People who have nightly fantasies about all-you-can-eat buffets at the McDonalds. People who, after watching Idiocracy, wondered when the movie "Ass" would open, filled with exuberant anticipation.

Quite frankly, this is a movie for an audience whose mere existence is a strong argument for the worldwide implementation of a radical eugenics program.

But that's just my humble opinion, of course

BlackCrayon · 06-27-2009, 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Libertine

No, this movie is for people who don't mind being treated like mentally handicapped, ADHD-ridden six year olds. People who wouldn't recognize a coherent story if it walked up to them and hit them in the face with a brick. People who have nightly fantasies about all-you-can-eat buffets at the McDonalds. People who, after watching Idiocracy, wondered when the movie "Ass" would open, filled with exuberant anticipation.

Quite frankly, this is a movie for an audience whose mere existence is a strong argument for the worldwide implementation of a radical eugenics program.

But that's just my humble opinion, of course

thats a large segment of america!

Anthony · 06-27-2009, 09:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlackCrayon

thats a large segment of america!

Heard the movie opened huge in Canada.

Iron Fist · 06-27-2009, 09:19 PM

Funny review indeed.. I wouldn't go expecting it to be mindblowing.

mvee · 06-27-2009, 09:33 PM

I thought the following 'review' was more entertaining than the movie

http://www.toplessrobot.com/2009/06/...ers_2_faqs.php

Are there honestly 46 new Transformers in the movie?
I have no fucking clue. It's impossible to tell most of them apart except for Optimus and the Racist Twins (there's another yellow Autobot who I constantly thought was Bumblebee). There could be 46, or there could be 12. I honestly would believe 12 if someone had said that.

What is the status of the Transformers at the beginning of the film?
The Autobots have joined the military to hunt down the Decepticons. We're told the Decepticons are "doing things," but they appear to be hiding peacefully when the Autobots show up and brutally murder them.

What?
Yeah. The Decepticons aren't apparently doing anything, then the Autobots show up, the Decepticons run for their goddamn lives, and the Autobots hunt them down and brutally murder them. It's kind of weird.

Why is the U.S. military helping them?
Supposedly to help keep the Transformers a secret from the public. Although since the climax of the last film was a massive firefight involving 50-foot robots and took place over five miles of downtown Los Angeles and the beginning of this film wrecks several miles of Shanghai, China, they seem to be incredibly shitty at their job.

How does the U.S. military help them?
Well, not at all, actually. They just kind of come along with guns and stuff, and act like they're going to help, but the Autobots do all the work.

Why is the U.S. military in this movie at all, then?
Because Michael Bay has a huge erection for jets and tanks and aircraft carriers and considers giant robots only a necessary evil for the film. At least 15 full minutes of the film's 150-minute run time is nothing but footage of jets and tanks and planes without any robots or actual action whatsoever.

How is Sam Witwicky dragged back into the fight?
Well, he finds a fragment of the Allspark shard. You know, the Allspark that he spent all last movie being told he shouldn't give to Megatron, but when he gave it to Megatron, it killed Megatron. That one. Anyways, the shard makes the Beef see symbols and act like more of an spaz than usual.

So the Decepticons want the shard? Why?
Uh... to bring Megatron back to life?

What?
That's what they said.

But the Allspark killed Megatron in the first movie.
Yes.

...and now it can also bring him back to life.
It's very powerful, this Allspark.

Uh-huh. So what's their plan to get it?
They send a small R/C car who talks like Joe Pesci in Casino to get it.

Shouldn't they have sent Starscream or somebody?

$5 submissions · 06-27-2009, 10:21 PM

Roger Ebert let it all hang out. Unfortunately, a large % of those who watch these kinds of movies are there not for the story but for the ambience/special effects. To each his own.

It's not like this movie was being marketed as "Spartacus" or "2001: SPace Odyssey"

I like Roger Ebert and everything but dude... take it easy...

SoloGirlsContent · 06-27-2009, 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Libertine

One of the most entertaining reviews I've read in the past few years

http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/...IEWS/906239997

I said the same shit 2 days ago
http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showthread.php?t=912578

BFT3K · 06-27-2009, 10:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Libertine

Quite frankly, this is a movie for an audience whose mere existence is a strong argument for the worldwide implementation of a radical eugenics program.

Nice.

SoloGirlsContent · 06-27-2009, 10:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adam X

I saw this review inside one of my iphone apps before going to see it last week.

Frankly I thought the movie was fairly entertaining.

Ebert is just getting too old.. this movie is for a young audience looking for
the same laughable, graphically blistering experience they got from the first movie.

My ex dated Michael Bay, lol, we texted him with a decent review after the movie as he
was curious what we thought.

so michael bay is GAY?? I thought so

mikesinner · 06-27-2009, 11:16 PM

Roger Ebert is getting old and like most old men he never finds anything to be good and without fault.

pinupglam · 06-27-2009, 11:37 PM

Roger Ebert isn't getting old... he's just telling the truth. Michael Bay simply makes shitty films. Anyone with a brain in their head plainly knows this fact. Yes, his films make a jillion dollars, but massive sales figures doesn't make something good. If it did, then Brittany Spears and the Backstreet Boys would have to be classified among the greatest musicians of all time.

And since when does a generation of teenaged retards who routinely gulp down these crap-fests have any credibility in validating anything anyway?

Drake · 06-28-2009, 01:20 AM

Apparently he missed the memo that this is supposed to be a brainless action flick based on a 80's kids cartoon.

voa · 06-28-2009, 01:24 AM

The movie looks good with all this effects

Manowar · 06-28-2009, 01:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mvee

I thought the following 'review' was more entertaining than the movie

http://www.toplessrobot.com/2009/06/...ers_2_faqs.php

Are there honestly 46 new Transformers in the movie?
I have no fucking clue. It's impossible to tell most of them apart except for Optimus and the Racist Twins (there's another yellow Autobot who I constantly thought was Bumblebee). There could be 46, or there could be 12. I honestly would believe 12 if someone had said that.

What is the status of the Transformers at the beginning of the film?
The Autobots have joined the military to hunt down the Decepticons. We're told the Decepticons are "doing things," but they appear to be hiding peacefully when the Autobots show up and brutally murder them.

What?
Yeah. The Decepticons aren't apparently doing anything, then the Autobots show up, the Decepticons run for their goddamn lives, and the Autobots hunt them down and brutally murder them. It's kind of weird.

Why is the U.S. military helping them?
Supposedly to help keep the Transformers a secret from the public. Although since the climax of the last film was a massive firefight involving 50-foot robots and took place over five miles of downtown Los Angeles and the beginning of this film wrecks several miles of Shanghai, China, they seem to be incredibly shitty at their job.

How does the U.S. military help them?
Well, not at all, actually. They just kind of come along with guns and stuff, and act like they're going to help, but the Autobots do all the work.

Why is the U.S. military in this movie at all, then?
Because Michael Bay has a huge erection for jets and tanks and aircraft carriers and considers giant robots only a necessary evil for the film. At least 15 full minutes of the film's 150-minute run time is nothing but footage of jets and tanks and planes without any robots or actual action whatsoever.

How is Sam Witwicky dragged back into the fight?
Well, he finds a fragment of the Allspark shard. You know, the Allspark that he spent all last movie being told he shouldn't give to Megatron, but when he gave it to Megatron, it killed Megatron. That one. Anyways, the shard makes the Beef see symbols and act like more of an spaz than usual.

So the Decepticons want the shard? Why?
Uh... to bring Megatron back to life?

What?
That's what they said.

But the Allspark killed Megatron in the first movie.
Yes.

...and now it can also bring him back to life.
It's very powerful, this Allspark.

Uh-huh. So what's their plan to get it?
They send a small R/C car who talks like Joe Pesci in Casino to get it.

Shouldn't they have sent Starscream or somebody?

getmouthy · 06-28-2009, 03:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Libertine

One of the most entertaining reviews I've read in the past few years

http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/...IEWS/906239997

Ebert is decent at giving reviews and to be honest, Michael Bay's movies are usually crap wrapped around a killer package.

He can make ANYTHING look visually stunning but that's where the creativity stops.

Armageddon, Pearl harbor, Bad Boys II, e.t.c.

He's not gonna win an Oscar anytime soon, but almost every movie he does breaks 100 mil at the box office, which keeps Hollywood happy

psili · 06-28-2009, 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Libertine

Quite frankly, this is a movie for an audience whose mere existence is a strong argument for the worldwide implementation of a radical eugenics program.

Haven't seen the flick, and really dig the idea of implementing controls on human procreation... but really, wouldn't that pretty much kill off the population that throws down a credit card for such obviously contrived videos of "Hi. My name's Barbie. And I'm a virgin getting ready to be fucked by 20 dudes." ?

Kill the dumb, who then to market to?
Unless Danica McKellar's going porno, as I'd pay to watch that shit if she could learn me some good maths. Or something.

JamesK · 06-28-2009, 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Libertine

No, this movie is for people who don't mind being treated like mentally handicapped, ADHD-ridden six year olds. People who wouldn't recognize a coherent story if it walked up to them and hit them in the face with a brick. People who have nightly fantasies about all-you-can-eat buffets at the McDonalds. People who, after watching Idiocracy, wondered when the movie "Ass" would open, filled with exuberant anticipation.

Quite frankly, this is a movie for an audience whose mere existence is a strong argument for the worldwide implementation of a radical eugenics program.

But that's just my humble opinion, of course

I'm going to pass on this movie after reading all the comments on GFY. I didn't really like the first one either, but didn't expect any better.

PornMD · 06-28-2009, 03:56 PM

I have a question: Was the 1st one any good by many accounts? The moment I heard Michael Bay I thought Pearl Harbor which meant instaskip for anything else he makes. Megan Fox could get lubed up and fucked by giant robot cock and I'd still have no urge to see either the 1st or 2nd. I'm just baffled at why this 2nd one is SO popular...I mean you realize that by the end of today it's expected to have made over $200 MILLION? 5 fuckin' days! Like already in the top 100 highest grossing movies of all time in 5 days for what seems to be such a shitty movie by what everyone's been saying...I just don't get it. I don't see how anyone was EXPECTING to like this movie. *shrug*

seeandsee · 06-28-2009, 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Libertine

One of the most entertaining reviews I've read in the past few years

http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/...IEWS/906239997

CaptainHowdy · 06-28-2009, 04:08 PM

Funny I never understood what was going on the first Transformer movie... still worth checking out!

BVF · 06-28-2009, 04:13 PM

I watched a bootleg DVD of it and I couldn't keep up with it. The brunette a gorgeous. I'd marry her

$5 submissions · 06-28-2009, 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by getmouthy

He's not gonna win an Oscar anytime soon, but almost every movie he does breaks 100 mil at the box office, which keeps Hollywood happy

True. Transformers 2 just broke the $300 million mark.

woj · 06-28-2009, 04:20 PM

it didn't really look very appealing to begin with... so no huge surprise that reviews it's getting are bad...

CyberHustler · 06-28-2009, 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mvee

I thought the following 'review' was more entertaining than the movie

http://www.toplessrobot.com/2009/06/...ers_2_faqs.php

Are there honestly 46 new Transformers in the movie?
I have no fucking clue. It's impossible to tell most of them apart except for Optimus and the Racist Twins (there's another yellow Autobot who I constantly thought was Bumblebee). There could be 46, or there could be 12. I honestly would believe 12 if someone had said that.

What is the status of the Transformers at the beginning of the film?
The Autobots have joined the military to hunt down the Decepticons. We're told the Decepticons are "doing things," but they appear to be hiding peacefully when the Autobots show up and brutally murder them.

What?
Yeah. The Decepticons aren't apparently doing anything, then the Autobots show up, the Decepticons run for their goddamn lives, and the Autobots hunt them down and brutally murder them. It's kind of weird.

Why is the U.S. military helping them?
Supposedly to help keep the Transformers a secret from the public. Although since the climax of the last film was a massive firefight involving 50-foot robots and took place over five miles of downtown Los Angeles and the beginning of this film wrecks several miles of Shanghai, China, they seem to be incredibly shitty at their job.

How does the U.S. military help them?
Well, not at all, actually. They just kind of come along with guns and stuff, and act like they're going to help, but the Autobots do all the work.

Why is the U.S. military in this movie at all, then?
Because Michael Bay has a huge erection for jets and tanks and aircraft carriers and considers giant robots only a necessary evil for the film. At least 15 full minutes of the film's 150-minute run time is nothing but footage of jets and tanks and planes without any robots or actual action whatsoever.

How is Sam Witwicky dragged back into the fight?
Well, he finds a fragment of the Allspark shard. You know, the Allspark that he spent all last movie being told he shouldn't give to Megatron, but when he gave it to Megatron, it killed Megatron. That one. Anyways, the shard makes the Beef see symbols and act like more of an spaz than usual.

So the Decepticons want the shard? Why?
Uh... to bring Megatron back to life?

What?
That's what they said.

But the Allspark killed Megatron in the first movie.
Yes.

...and now it can also bring him back to life.
It's very powerful, this Allspark.

Uh-huh. So what's their plan to get it?
They send a small R/C car who talks like Joe Pesci in Casino to get it.

Shouldn't they have sent Starscream or somebody?

You guys should read the rest, it's funny as all hell...

WinstonTriplexcash · 06-28-2009, 10:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CyberHustler

You guys should read the rest, it's funny as all hell...

Hahaha, thats so true

dig420 · 06-28-2009, 10:21 PM

I took a date to see this movie. We both had to use the restroom at the same time, which turned out to be about five minutes before the end of the movie. Neither of us were upset at missing the ending.

Seriously... if you're not an 11 yr old transformers junkie, there is nothing in this movie for you at all.

MediaGuy · 06-28-2009, 10:23 PM

The Egypt parts look fucking amazing.

Roger Ebert should maybe read this thread:

http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showth...i ant+octopus

Trash will never die...

:D

NaughtyRob · 06-28-2009, 10:38 PM

Just watched it tonight, it rocked. Very entertaining.

Neon Dollars Daniel · 06-29-2009, 02:21 AM

Ebert liked the first one, so he can enjoy a dumb action movie. I cannot judge the new one as I haven't seen it and will not rush to the cinema after these reviews, but will probably watch it at some point.

SGS · 06-29-2009, 02:44 AM

My eight year old thought it was crap and I would have rather had my eyes poked out with a stick and spent the evening is casulty.

Mr.Right - Banned For Life · 06-29-2009, 02:49 AM

nice review

sexandcash · 06-29-2009, 05:23 AM

the review is completely hysterical....oh Rogert Ebert, you still haven't lost your quick wit....

pornguy · 06-29-2009, 05:26 AM

I enjoyed the movie. and that IDIOT has said some bad things about some great movies.

If you let someone like him decide for you. then you should not bother trying to say that you have a personality. It comes down to what you like in a movie.

I enjoyed it on many more levels than just the movie it self. It brings back memories of the cartoon when I was a kid, it was interesting to see the CGI work done on on the movie, and to see how well the actors were able to interact with something that was simply not there.

rock-reed · 06-29-2009, 05:47 AM

Visually---it looks pretty good.

Not much story...

Overall---I didn't like it... Its not my kind of movie.

I prefer a story over action.

I did not highly like the first one either.

But for pure mindless-entertainment... they are good.

Give me "The Hangover" any day.

rock-reed · 06-29-2009, 05:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PornMD

I have a question: Was the 1st one any good by many accounts? The moment I heard Michael Bay I thought Pearl Harbor which meant instaskip for anything else he makes. Megan Fox could get lubed up and fucked by giant robot cock and I'd still have no urge to see either the 1st or 2nd. I'm just baffled at why this 2nd one is SO popular...I mean you realize that by the end of today it's expected to have made over $200 MILLION? 5 fuckin' days! Like already in the top 100 highest grossing movies of all time in 5 days for what seems to be such a shitty movie by what everyone's been saying...I just don't get it. I don't see how anyone was EXPECTING to like this movie. *shrug*

The Hype machine and true IDIOCRACY is upon us.

Pipecrew · 06-29-2009, 08:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adam X

My ex dated Michael Bay, lol, we texted him with a decent review after the movie as he
was curious what we thought.

I read a while back that he's rumored to have a giant schlong. Must be nice following that guy ;)

BradM · 06-29-2009, 08:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Libertine

No, this movie is for people who don't mind being treated like mentally handicapped, ADHD-ridden six year olds. People who wouldn't recognize a coherent story if it walked up to them and hit them in the face with a brick. People who have nightly fantasies about all-you-can-eat buffets at the McDonalds. People who, after watching Idiocracy, wondered when the movie "Ass" would open, filled with exuberant anticipation.

Quite frankly, this is a movie for an audience whose mere existence is a strong argument for the worldwide implementation of a radical eugenics program.

But that's just my humble opinion, of course

That's most of America.

dready · 06-29-2009, 08:44 AM

I enjoyed the meaningless action scenes, but the story / dialogue caused me near physical pain.

gornyhuy · 06-29-2009, 08:45 AM

My kids are currently watching the original cartoon on DVD - just came out this month. Good stuff.

Deesnuts · 06-29-2009, 09:01 AM

i thought it was pretty good....fuck u ebert

jesse_adultdatingdollars · 06-29-2009, 09:17 AM

movie seems ok

Andy CHOOPA · 06-29-2009, 11:36 AM

Lol he was fired up

Scott McD · 06-29-2009, 12:09 PM

I had a funny conversation about an hour ago with someone. We were talking about Transformers 2. He went to see it and said it was good.

I said i've heard it's fucking shit. Then i mentioned the fact i had still to see Terminator Salvation, to which he replied "it's got good effects but a shit story".

I was thinking "hmmm, and i take it Transformers had a great story did it ??"

06-27-2009, 08:23 PM	#2
Adam X Now Giving 1 Fuck Daily Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: California Posts: 2,493	I saw this review inside one of my iphone apps before going to see it last week. Frankly I thought the movie was fairly entertaining. Ebert is just getting too old.. this movie is for a young audience looking for the same laughable, graphically blistering experience they got from the first movie. My ex dated Michael Bay, lol, we texted him with a decent review after the movie as he was curious what we thought. __________________ Cronfund - Buy CRON now and earn 4% plus coin value. The best of DEFI!

06-27-2009, 09:19 PM	#7
Iron Fist Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 23,400	Funny review indeed.. I wouldn't go expecting it to be mindblowing. __________________ i like waffles

06-27-2009, 10:21 PM	#9
$5 submissions I help you SUCCEED Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The Pearl of the Orient Seas Posts: 32,195	Roger Ebert let it all hang out. Unfortunately, a large % of those who watch these kinds of movies are there not for the story but for the ambience/special effects. To each his own. It's not like this movie was being marketed as "Spartacus" or "2001: SPace Odyssey" I like Roger Ebert and everything but dude... take it easy... __________________ Need a NON-ADULT income stream? We build your YOUTUBE CHANNEL for only $20 per video! For Hire: $3/hour or $400 per month Marketing Specialist Virtual Assistants

06-27-2009, 11:16 PM	#13
mikesinner Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 5,646	Roger Ebert is getting old and like most old men he never finds anything to be good and without fault. __________________ My Best Sponsors MPl l Camsl CUMSHOTSl LESBIANSl FETISHl BJ RACESl TEEN BJl BSDMl VODl USE YOUR PC TO CURE CANCER

06-27-2009, 11:37 PM	#14
pinupglam Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 68	Roger Ebert isn't getting old... he's just telling the truth. Michael Bay simply makes shitty films. Anyone with a brain in their head plainly knows this fact. Yes, his films make a jillion dollars, but massive sales figures doesn't make something good. If it did, then Brittany Spears and the Backstreet Boys would have to be classified among the greatest musicians of all time. And since when does a generation of teenaged retards who routinely gulp down these crap-fests have any credibility in validating anything anyway? __________________

06-27-2009, 08:28 PM	#3
Agent 488 Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 22,511	i'm sure it will be a big hit. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/There%2...n_every_minute

06-27-2009, 09:33 PM	#8
mvee Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: sf Posts: 938	I thought the following 'review' was more entertaining than the movie http://www.toplessrobot.com/2009/06/...ers_2_faqs.php Are there honestly 46 new Transformers in the movie? I have no fucking clue. It's impossible to tell most of them apart except for Optimus and the Racist Twins (there's another yellow Autobot who I constantly thought was Bumblebee). There could be 46, or there could be 12. I honestly would believe 12 if someone had said that. What is the status of the Transformers at the beginning of the film? The Autobots have joined the military to hunt down the Decepticons. We're told the Decepticons are "doing things," but they appear to be hiding peacefully when the Autobots show up and brutally murder them. What? Yeah. The Decepticons aren't apparently doing anything, then the Autobots show up, the Decepticons run for their goddamn lives, and the Autobots hunt them down and brutally murder them. It's kind of weird. Why is the U.S. military helping them? Supposedly to help keep the Transformers a secret from the public. Although since the climax of the last film was a massive firefight involving 50-foot robots and took place over five miles of downtown Los Angeles and the beginning of this film wrecks several miles of Shanghai, China, they seem to be incredibly shitty at their job. How does the U.S. military help them? Well, not at all, actually. They just kind of come along with guns and stuff, and act like they're going to help, but the Autobots do all the work. Why is the U.S. military in this movie at all, then? Because Michael Bay has a huge erection for jets and tanks and aircraft carriers and considers giant robots only a necessary evil for the film. At least 15 full minutes of the film's 150-minute run time is nothing but footage of jets and tanks and planes without any robots or actual action whatsoever. How is Sam Witwicky dragged back into the fight? Well, he finds a fragment of the Allspark shard. You know, the Allspark that he spent all last movie being told he shouldn't give to Megatron, but when he gave it to Megatron, it killed Megatron. That one. Anyways, the shard makes the Beef see symbols and act like more of an spaz than usual. So the Decepticons want the shard? Why? Uh... to bring Megatron back to life? What? That's what they said. But the Allspark killed Megatron in the first movie. Yes. ...and now it can also bring him back to life. It's very powerful, this Allspark. Uh-huh. So what's their plan to get it? They send a small R/C car who talks like Joe Pesci in Casino to get it. Shouldn't they have sent Starscream or somebody?

06-28-2009, 01:20 AM	#15
Drake Hello world! Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 12,508	Apparently he missed the memo that this is supposed to be a brainless action flick based on a 80's kids cartoon.

06-28-2009, 01:24 AM	#16
voa Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 16,532	The movie looks good with all this effects

06-28-2009, 03:56 PM	#21
PornMD Mainstream Businessman Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: San Diego Posts: 9,291	I have a question: Was the 1st one any good by many accounts? The moment I heard Michael Bay I thought Pearl Harbor which meant instaskip for anything else he makes. Megan Fox could get lubed up and fucked by giant robot cock and I'd still have no urge to see either the 1st or 2nd. I'm just baffled at why this 2nd one is SO popular...I mean you realize that by the end of today it's expected to have made over $200 MILLION? 5 fuckin' days! Like already in the top 100 highest grossing movies of all time in 5 days for what seems to be such a shitty movie by what everyone's been saying...I just don't get it. I don't see how anyone was EXPECTING to like this movie. shrug __________________ Want to crush it in mainstream with Facebook ads? Hit me up. Last edited by PornMD; 06-28-2009 at 04:00 PM..

06-28-2009, 04:08 PM	#23
CaptainHowdy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Happy in the dark. Posts: 93,776	Funny I never understood what was going on the first Transformer movie... still worth checking out! __________________ Vacares - Web Hosting, Domains, O365, Security & More - Paxum and BTC Accepted Windows VPS now available Great for TSS, Nifty Stats, remote work, virtual assistants, etc. Last edited by CaptainHowdy; 06-28-2009 at 04:10 PM..

06-28-2009, 04:13 PM	#24
BVF Black Vagina Finder Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: The Midwest Posts: 13,975	I watched a bootleg DVD of it and I couldn't keep up with it. The brunette a gorgeous. I'd marry her __________________ Black Pussy Click On Mr Cosby..CCbill, 60/40, 136 FHG's....The Cos Loves Black Ghetto Pussy!!

06-28-2009, 04:20 PM	#26
woj <&(©¿©)&> Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Chicago Posts: 47,882	it didn't really look very appealing to begin with... so no huge surprise that reviews it's getting are bad... __________________ Custom Software Development, email: woj#at#wojfun#.#com to discuss details or skype: wojl2000 or gchat: wojfun or telegram: wojl2000 Affiliate program tools: Hosted Galleries Manager Banner Manager Video Manager Wordpress Affiliate Plugin Pic/Movie of the Day Fansign Generator Zip Manager

06-28-2009, 10:21 PM	#29
dig420 Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 9,240	I took a date to see this movie. We both had to use the restroom at the same time, which turned out to be about five minutes before the end of the movie. Neither of us were upset at missing the ending. Seriously... if you're not an 11 yr old transformers junkie, there is nothing in this movie for you at all.

06-28-2009, 10:23 PM	#30
MediaGuy Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Montrealquebecanada Posts: 5,500	The Egypt parts look fucking amazing. Roger Ebert should maybe read this thread: http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showth...i ant+octopus Trash will never die... :D __________________ YOU Are Industry News! Press Releases: pr[at]payoutmag.com Facebook: Payout Magazine! Facebook: MIKEB! ICQ: 248843947 Skype: Mediaguy1

06-28-2009, 10:38 PM	#31
NaughtyRob Two fresh affiliate progs Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Inside teen pussy Posts: 29,602	Just watched it tonight, it rocked. Very entertaining. __________________ [email protected] Skype: 17026955414 Vacares Web Hosting - Protect Your Ass with Included Daily Backups

06-29-2009, 02:21 AM	#32
Neon Dollars Daniel Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 243	Ebert liked the first one, so he can enjoy a dumb action movie. I cannot judge the new one as I haven't seen it and will not rush to the cinema after these reviews, but will probably watch it at some point. __________________ www.NeonDollars.com Awesome co-branded White Label sites! Click here for details! ICQ: 419 554 034 or EMAIL: daniel[@]neondollars[.]com

06-29-2009, 02:44 AM	#33
SGS Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Mallorca - Nottingham Posts: 5,176	My eight year old thought it was crap and I would have rather had my eyes poked out with a stick and spent the evening is casulty. __________________ See sig...

06-29-2009, 02:49 AM	#34
Mr.Right - Banned For Life I guarantee it Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 18,314	nice review

06-29-2009, 05:23 AM	#35
sexandcash Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Los Angeles, California Posts: 1,566	the review is completely hysterical....oh Rogert Ebert, you still haven't lost your quick wit.... __________________ SexandCash ICQ: 490-947-295

06-29-2009, 05:26 AM	#36
pornguy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Homeless Posts: 62,911	I enjoyed the movie. and that IDIOT has said some bad things about some great movies. If you let someone like him decide for you. then you should not bother trying to say that you have a personality. It comes down to what you like in a movie. I enjoyed it on many more levels than just the movie it self. It brings back memories of the cartoon when I was a kid, it was interesting to see the CGI work done on on the movie, and to see how well the actors were able to interact with something that was simply not there. __________________ PornGuy skype me pornguy_epic AmateurDough The Hottes Shemales online! TChicks.com \| Angeles Cid \| Mariana Cordoba \| MAILERS WELCOME! Last edited by pornguy; 06-29-2009 at 05:28 AM.. Reason: More Rant

06-29-2009, 05:47 AM	#37
rock-reed Confirmed User Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 1,892	Visually---it looks pretty good. Not much story... Overall---I didn't like it... Its not my kind of movie. I prefer a story over action. I did not highly like the first one either. But for pure mindless-entertainment... they are good. Give me "The Hangover" any day. __________________ --- Ethnic niche? Black-Asian-Latina ? Contact me and lets talk traffic. rockreed@ that thing they call the google mail When you E-mail Me, PLZZZZ make the Subject Title: >>>>>> GFY! So I do not lose you in Spam.

06-29-2009, 08:44 AM	#41
dready Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Toronto, ON Posts: 5,247	I enjoyed the meaningless action scenes, but the story / dialogue caused me near physical pain. __________________ ICQ: 91139591

06-29-2009, 08:45 AM	#42
gornyhuy Chafed. Join Date: May 2002 Location: Face Down in Pussy Posts: 18,041	My kids are currently watching the original cartoon on DVD - just came out this month. Good stuff. __________________ icq:159548293

06-29-2009, 09:01 AM	#43
Deesnuts Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 2,792	i thought it was pretty good....fuck u ebert __________________

06-29-2009, 09:17 AM	#44
jesse_adultdatingdollars Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: San Diego Posts: 2,197	movie seems ok __________________ Got Dating Traffic? Contact: Jesse (at) adultdatingdollars.com ICQ: 296775809 or AIM: cabotime21 Last edited by jesse_adultdatingdollars; 06-29-2009 at 09:19 AM..

06-29-2009, 11:36 AM	#45
Andy CHOOPA Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Red Bank NJ Posts: 1,156	Lol he was fired up __________________ Andy Choopa ICQ: 412-203-056 DUAL XEONS W/100 Mbps UNMETERED- $199/ month!!

06-29-2009, 12:09 PM	#46
Scott McD Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Glasgow, Scotland Posts: 67,795	I had a funny conversation about an hour ago with someone. We were talking about Transformers 2. He went to see it and said it was good. I said i've heard it's fucking shit. Then i mentioned the fact i had still to see Terminator Salvation, to which he replied "it's got good effects but a shit story". I was thinking "hmmm, and i take it Transformers had a great story did it ??" __________________ I Buy My High Quality Traffic Here, You Should Too!