AssPirate

There were a slew of great sitcoms from the ?80s and ?90s that most of us grew up on and have fond memories of. But there were a handful of characters in these shows who always rubbed us the wrong way, and we couldn?t help but wonder whether they were off doing much more sinister things during the scenes they weren?t in. Here?s a look at the characters who were most likely leading second lives as serial killers without their sitcom families ever even knowing about it.

(taken from Spike.com)

Wilson from Home Improvement

I mean, there?s something that?s simply not right about this situation. Here?s a neighbor whose face nobody has ever really seen. This is more than cause for alarm. He?s always up to some kind of tomfoolery on his side of the fence, and it usually involves some contraption or foreign concept that nobody?s ever heard of. Can you say terrorist?

Wilson is one of those domestic terrorists who?s really good at laying low and holding down the home front. He takes care of business in his house all day ? did anybody ever really figure out just what in the hell his job was? He was doing God knows what, and then at the end of the day he shared creepy little aphorisms and anecdotes with his neighbor.

Of course, we?re supposed to think he?s just sharing a bit of his worldly wisdom with a knuckledheaded neighbor, but on closer inspection it?s easy to see what Wilson was really doing. He was planting the seeds of the apocalypse, one brainwashed soldier at a time. Somebody check the freezer in this guy?s garage on the double ? you?ll find all those missing persons real quick.

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AssPirate

Vicky The Robot from "Little Wonder"

Four words say it all: Evil robot child slave. That’s what we’re dealing with here, and no amount of political correctness will make it go away. Ted Lawson, the father of the Lawson family, designed and built a child robot, Vicki, much the same as Skynet developed its own artificial intelligence in the Terminator movies. Complicit in this dangerous act of engineering arrogance, Lawson’s family agreed not to ever disclose to the outside world the artificial nature of Vicki. Thus the mechanical Vicki’s life of servitude and deception began.

Considering the way in which Vicki’s life with the Lawsons developed, it’s small wonder “she” would over time transform into a bloodthirsty robot. Deprived of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, Vicki had little to lose when she began what must have been a long running killing spree. It began with cats and dogs and progressed to babies and the elderly, and soon she was killing anyone who looked at her funny or implied she was “less than human.”

Though none of her crimes have ever been exposed (a methodical robot, she must have covered up and destroyed all evidence that might have incriminated her), in 1988 Ted Lawson powered down Vicki for the last time, realizing to his horror what he’d created. If Lawson’s boss Brandon Brindle had simply given him credit for his ideas then the bloodshed inflicted on the human race by a murderous slave bot would never have happened.

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AssPirate

I meant "Small Wonder", and not the David Bowie song.

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cherrylula

The Seduction of Art

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Vicious_B

Alf always gave me the creeps.

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gideongallery

yeah but you would only have to worry about your cat going into a blender.

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“When crimes occur through the mail, you don’t shut the post office down,” Steve Wozniak