The best converting homeless phrases - GoFuckYourself.com

jollyperv · 11-09-2002, 02:49 AM

I'd say the ole' "Why Lie, I need a Beer" Sign that bums hold up at exits must convert quite well, probably 1:5

Let's hear some more.

tree · 11-09-2002, 02:54 AM

i saw one that said
"need money for beer, weed, and hooker!"

[Labret] · 11-09-2002, 02:55 AM

Will make galleries for food

LBBV · 11-09-2002, 08:53 AM

I was standing outside of my office having a smoke when a homeless guy walked up to me and asked me for some change. I said to him...

"Hey, back off...I'M working this side of the street!!!"

You should have seen the look on his face

Machete_ · 11-09-2002, 09:13 AM

"will eat spam for hits"

KRL · 11-09-2002, 11:12 AM

There was a hot looking secretary type holding a great sign up in an area with a lot of high end office buildings near here. Her sign said "Corporate layoff victim seeks a high paying position today. Will do anything to please my new boss." (With a big smilie face after that last line.)

Man you should have seen how many guys were stopping to hand her their business cards. Yeh, ok I'll admit it, I stopped too. Hahahahah

MaxDent · 11-09-2002, 12:45 PM

I think the best way to deal with the homeless is to drive up slow, pull out a shotgun and kill them on the spot. Then the other homeless will know where not to go. Then after a while they'll all be in one spot and we can move in and hunt them all down. Hence our taxes will go down.

Machete_ · 11-09-2002, 01:04 PM

First time I went downtown Washington DC (exchange student 12 years ago - only 17 years old) I had one of the people in my family with me.. I saw thin homeless person with the sign; "will do anyting for food" and she said "that guy is always standing there in the middel of the road"
Then about 4 months later, I had this big fucking leather-bag full of coins, must have been about $100-130 in changes. I was going to take it to the bank, but on the way to the bank I drow by this homeless guy again, and thought "hell no.. I'll give it to him" I turned the car around at the next crossing, but could not stop in the middel of the road, so i decided to throw it out the window at him (great thing to do when you are going 45mph)
I did it, and it dident hit him, ---but the bag broke and there were coins ALL over the road. the poor guy ran out on the street to get the money, and got hit by a car... I turned around to help him, and stayed there until the ambulance came.... 1 week later his legal advisor contacted me with a lawsuit af $150.000

I had NEWER felt so bad in my life.. I just wanted to be nice

cold_ice · 11-09-2002, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ebus_dk

I had NEWER felt so bad in my life.. I just wanted to be nice

Redbone · 11-09-2002, 01:43 PM

[Labret]: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Isn't that why they ALL make galleries?

Er, no, it isn't. It's beer money.

The homeless joke comes full circle.

Turboface · 11-09-2002, 02:15 PM

"I'm sueing BumFights and I will be a millionaire next year."

11-09-2002, 02:49 AM	#1
jollyperv Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: NYC Posts: 3,927	The best converting homeless phrases I'd say the ole' "Why Lie, I need a Beer" Sign that bums hold up at exits must convert quite well, probably 1:5 Let's hear some more.

11-09-2002, 08:53 AM	#4
LBBV Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Atlanta Posts: 936	I was standing outside of my office having a smoke when a homeless guy walked up to me and asked me for some change. I said to him... "Hey, back off...I'M working this side of the street!!!" You should have seen the look on his face __________________ National Net Hosting. Handled. See our new line of inexpensive Dedicated Servers \| Cabinets starting at $795 \| CDN [email protected] \| 888-4-NATNET \| www.nationalnet.com

11-09-2002, 01:43 PM	#10
Redbone Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 323	[Labret]: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Isn't that why they ALL make galleries? Er, no, it isn't. It's beer money. The homeless joke comes full circle. __________________ Pffffffftttttttth. I'm done.

11-09-2002, 02:15 PM	#11
Turboface Back in Black Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 9,976	"I'm sueing BumFights and I will be a millionaire next year." __________________ Search Engine Optimization Services for Adult Sites

11-09-2002, 02:54 AM	#2
tree Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 1,601	i saw one that said "need money for beer, weed, and hooker!"

11-09-2002, 02:55 AM	#3
[Labret] Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: Са́нкт-Петербу́рг Posts: 10,945	Will make galleries for food

11-09-2002, 09:13 AM	#5
Machete_ WINNING! Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 14,579	"will eat spam for hits"

11-09-2002, 11:12 AM	#6
KRL Entrepreneur Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: USA Posts: 31,429	There was a hot looking secretary type holding a great sign up in an area with a lot of high end office buildings near here. Her sign said "Corporate layoff victim seeks a high paying position today. Will do anything to please my new boss." (With a big smilie face after that last line.) Man you should have seen how many guys were stopping to hand her their business cards. Yeh, ok I'll admit it, I stopped too. Hahahahah

11-09-2002, 12:45 PM	#7
MaxDent Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: San Francisco Posts: 851	I think the best way to deal with the homeless is to drive up slow, pull out a shotgun and kill them on the spot. Then the other homeless will know where not to go. Then after a while they'll all be in one spot and we can move in and hunt them all down. Hence our taxes will go down.

11-09-2002, 01:04 PM	#8
Machete_ WINNING! Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 14,579	First time I went downtown Washington DC (exchange student 12 years ago - only 17 years old) I had one of the people in my family with me.. I saw thin homeless person with the sign; "will do anyting for food" and she said "that guy is always standing there in the middel of the road" Then about 4 months later, I had this big fucking leather-bag full of coins, must have been about $100-130 in changes. I was going to take it to the bank, but on the way to the bank I drow by this homeless guy again, and thought "hell no.. I'll give it to him" I turned the car around at the next crossing, but could not stop in the middel of the road, so i decided to throw it out the window at him (great thing to do when you are going 45mph) I did it, and it dident hit him, ---but the bag broke and there were coins ALL over the road. the poor guy ran out on the street to get the money, and got hit by a car... I turned around to help him, and stayed there until the ambulance came.... 1 week later his legal advisor contacted me with a lawsuit af $150.000 I had NEWER felt so bad in my life.. I just wanted to be nice