Got any good DIVORCE Jokes? - GoFuckYourself.com

CunningStunt · 10-15-2008, 02:51 PM

A mate of mine just called and said he's splitting up with his wife for good. Been on the cards a while. Got any good jokes? I'll get him drunk off his ass tonight and tell him a few.

Q. Did ya hear Mattel introduced a "Divorced Barbie"?
A. She comes with half of Ken's stuff.

TripleXPrint · 10-15-2008, 02:53 PM

Did you hear about the lady who divorced her husband and got half his fortune?

She was found dead.

Dame · 10-15-2008, 02:54 PM

Here is one

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you." The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."

Eriic · 10-15-2008, 02:55 PM

Yes, any lady dumb enough to marry you is beyond a foolish ignorant tramp and deserves a divorce for being a moron.....

Lycanthrope · 10-15-2008, 03:00 PM

Best one ever was on the show Titus.

Q: Do you know why divorces cost so much?
A: 'cause they're worth it!

Manowar · 10-15-2008, 03:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dame

Here is one

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you." The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."

CunningStunt · 10-15-2008, 03:29 PM

How do I block posts from a fuckwit? This "Eriic" dick is like a foreskin irritation.

Eriic · 10-15-2008, 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CunningStunt

How do I block posts from a fuckwit? This "Eriic" dick is like a foreskin irritation.

So block me Asshole! Do you think my feelings would be hurt you piece of shit!

CunningStunt · 10-15-2008, 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eriic

So block me Asshole! Do you think my feelings would be hurt you piece of shit!

I can't find in the control panel where to do it.

A-n-D-r-E-S · 10-15-2008, 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TripleXPrint

Did you hear about the lady who divorced her husband and got half his fortune?

She was found dead.

That's funny...

Eriic · 10-15-2008, 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CunningStunt

How do I block posts from a fuckwit? This "Eriic" dick is like a foreskin irritation.

You call me a fuckwit? And you don't have the brains to block a user?

You are a mentally retarded DipShit

CunningStunt · 10-15-2008, 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eriic

You call me a fuckwit? And you don't have the brains to block a user?

You are a mentally retarded DipShit

Where is it?

CunningStunt · 10-15-2008, 03:55 PM

Looks like the forum's not loading properly or some shit, the ignore list isn't there:

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jalami · 10-15-2008, 04:13 PM

I thought marriage WAS the joke

Spunky · 10-15-2008, 04:14 PM

Heh heh.some of those are pretty good

Daruma · 10-15-2008, 04:15 PM

a lot of divorce threads lately - seems that its in the air

CunningStunt · 10-15-2008, 04:33 PM

I think the statistic is 50% of marriages fail these days. I can totally relate to that, bloody hard work some days....

JimmiDean · 10-15-2008, 04:36 PM

Young boy runs up to his father and says.....
Dad how much does it cost to get married?
Father says I don't know son...
Im still paying.

TisMe · 10-15-2008, 04:37 PM

When they say "until death do you part", thats not just a part of the vows, its setting a goal

Can't remember who to credit that to, not mine.

10-15-2008, 02:51 PM	#1
CunningStunt Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 5,594	Got any good DIVORCE Jokes? A mate of mine just called and said he's splitting up with his wife for good. Been on the cards a while. Got any good jokes? I'll get him drunk off his ass tonight and tell him a few. Q. Did ya hear Mattel introduced a "Divorced Barbie"? A. She comes with half of Ken's stuff.

10-15-2008, 02:53 PM	#2
TripleXPrint Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 983	Did you hear about the lady who divorced her husband and got half his fortune? She was found dead. __________________ Skype: Triplexprint

10-15-2008, 03:00 PM	#5
Lycanthrope Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 4,517	Best one ever was on the show Titus. Q: Do you know why divorces cost so much? A: 'cause they're worth it! __________________

10-15-2008, 04:13 PM	#14
jalami Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2004 Location: Costa Rica Posts: 845	I thought marriage WAS the joke __________________ IntegralPay LLC \| www.integralpay.com Payment solutions outside the box! Ask about credit card, electronic checks, and alternative payments processing

10-15-2008, 04:14 PM	#15
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,949	Heh heh.some of those are pretty good __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

10-15-2008, 02:54 PM	#3
Dame Confirmed User Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 354	Here is one An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you." The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."

10-15-2008, 02:55 PM	#4
Eriic So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 2,995	Yes, any lady dumb enough to marry you is beyond a foolish ignorant tramp and deserves a divorce for being a moron.....

10-15-2008, 03:29 PM	#7
CunningStunt Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 5,594	How do I block posts from a fuckwit? This "Eriic" dick is like a foreskin irritation.

10-15-2008, 03:55 PM	#13
CunningStunt Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 5,594	Looks like the forum's not loading properly or some shit, the ignore list isn't there: Control Panel Settings & Options Edit Signature Edit Email & Password Edit Options Edit Avatar Edit Profile Picture Subscribed Threads Folders Subscriptions List Subscriptions Edit Folders Miscellaneous Event Reminders

10-15-2008, 04:15 PM	#16
Daruma Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: PandaLand™ Posts: 3,494	a lot of divorce threads lately - seems that its in the air __________________ RIP TD

10-15-2008, 04:33 PM	#17
CunningStunt Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 5,594	I think the statistic is 50% of marriages fail these days. I can totally relate to that, bloody hard work some days....

10-15-2008, 04:36 PM	#18
JimmiDean Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Margarittaville Posts: 3,433	Young boy runs up to his father and says..... Dad how much does it cost to get married? Father says I don't know son... Im still paying. __________________ My God there's Porn on here! Still on the Beach !!!

10-15-2008, 04:37 PM	#19
TisMe Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 1,719	When they say "until death do you part", thats not just a part of the vows, its setting a goal Can't remember who to credit that to, not mine.