Jesus was a magician, nothing more (vid) - GoFuckYourself.com

bobby666 · 10-08-2008, 04:47 PM

lol, i really love that one

~Ray · 10-08-2008, 04:47 PM

another funny one.

Jarmusch · 10-09-2008, 01:14 PM

That's from 'Rowan Atkinson Live' and it's available on DVD (and other sources on teh interwebs...).

pornguy · 10-09-2008, 01:35 PM

That was great. First time I had heard it.

NaughtyVisions · 10-09-2008, 01:41 PM

This old joke popped into my head...

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.

After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.

The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. if I start to get nervous, I take a sip."

So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.

Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:

1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J. C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey,don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me"
12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry,"
13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God.
14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a Peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's!

Manowar · 10-09-2008, 02:38 PM

jesus = criss angel

LOL

Godsmack · 10-09-2008, 03:53 PM

yeah this one is brilliant ..

Jarmusch · 10-09-2008, 06:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Manowar

jesus = criss angel

LOL

I'm sure if Criss was around back then he would have assumed biblical proportions.

Fresh · 10-09-2008, 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NaughtyVisions

This old joke popped into my head...

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.

After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.

The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. if I start to get nervous, I take a sip."

So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.

Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:

1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J. C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey,don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me"
12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry,"
13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God.
14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a Peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's!

10-08-2008, 02:50 PM	#1
Jarmusch Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 12,464	Jesus was a magician, nothing more (vid)

10-08-2008, 04:47 PM	#2
bobby666 boots are my religion Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Heart of europe Posts: 21,765	lol, i really love that one __________________

10-08-2008, 04:47 PM	#3
~Ray visit hardlinks.org Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Las Vegas , Nv >>> [email protected] or icq 94994627 anytime Posts: 18,362	another funny one. __________________ Adult Backlinks for Adult Websites - Testimonials Available

10-09-2008, 01:35 PM	#5
pornguy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Homeless Posts: 62,911	That was great. First time I had heard it. __________________ PornGuy skype me pornguy_epic AmateurDough The Hottes Shemales online! TChicks.com \| Angeles Cid \| Mariana Cordoba \| MAILERS WELCOME!

10-09-2008, 03:53 PM	#8
Godsmack Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 4,525	yeah this one is brilliant .. __________________ Download the much improved Free Tube Script adult/mainstream tube solution for FREE!

10-09-2008, 01:14 PM	#4
Jarmusch Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 12,464	That's from 'Rowan Atkinson Live' and it's available on DVD (and other sources on teh interwebs...).

10-09-2008, 01:41 PM	#6
NaughtyVisions Confirmed User Join Date: May 2008 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 4,204	This old joke popped into my head... A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. if I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door: 1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp. 2. There are 10 commandments, not 12. 3. There are 12 disciples, not 10. 4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated. 5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass. 6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J. C. 7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook. 8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him. 9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey,don't say he was stoned off his ass. 10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T." 11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me" 12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry," 13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God. 14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a Peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's!

10-09-2008, 02:38 PM	#7
Manowar jellyfish Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 71,528	jesus = criss angel LOL