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-   -   Jesus was a magician, nothing more (vid) (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=860530)

Jarmusch 10-08-2008 02:50 PM
Jesus was a magician, nothing more (vid)
 

bobby666 10-08-2008 04:47 PM
lol, i really love that one

~Ray 10-08-2008 04:47 PM
another funny one.

Jarmusch 10-09-2008 01:14 PM
That's from 'Rowan Atkinson Live' and it's available on DVD (and other sources on teh interwebs...). :)

pornguy 10-09-2008 01:35 PM
That was great. First time I had heard it.

NaughtyVisions 10-09-2008 01:41 PM
This old joke popped into my head...

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.

After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.

The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. if I start to get nervous, I take a sip."

So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.

Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:

1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J. C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey,don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me"
12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry,"
13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God.
14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a Peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's!

Manowar 10-09-2008 02:38 PM
jesus = criss angel

LOL

Godsmack 10-09-2008 03:53 PM
yeah this one is brilliant .. :thumbsup

Jarmusch 10-09-2008 06:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Manowar (Post 14876068)
jesus = criss angel

LOL
I'm sure if Criss was around back then he would have assumed biblical proportions. :)

Fresh 10-09-2008 06:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by NaughtyVisions (Post 14875641)
This old joke popped into my head...

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.

After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.

The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. if I start to get nervous, I take a sip."

So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.

Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:

1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J. C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey,don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me"
12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry,"
13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God.
14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a Peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's!

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh


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