13 Things Your Computer Person Won?t Tell You - GoFuckYourself.com

Pete-KT · 09-15-2008, 10:35 AM

1. Turn it off, turn it back on. ?Nine times out of ten, rebooting your computer-and any equipment that connects to it-will solve the problem,? says Aaron Schildkraut, who owns a home tech-support service in the New York tristate area.

2. Just because we're ?buddies? at work, don't expect me to come running every time you've got a problem. I've got a slew of IT problems to fix.

3. We're like Santa: We know if you've been bad or good. Fessing up to what really happened right before the system crashed is going to save time-and I'm going to figure it out anyway.

4. Use ?strong? passwords. Geek Squad agent Derek Meister suggests combining letters and numbers-but not your birth date-to create a ?base? password, and adding a unique suffix for each site you use. If your base password is your spouse's initials and
your anniversary date (say, SP061789), your Amazon password might be ?SP061789AM.?

5. Make sure you have current antivirus and anti-spyware protection, and set it to update at least once a day and run a full-system scan at least once a week.

6. There's no free lunch. Downloading free music, movies, and games from file-sharing sites can open holes in your system for others to exploit. Play it safe and use established services like Rhapsody, iTunes, and Netflix.

7. Remember: Public Wi-Fi is public. If you don't have a compelling reason to check your e-mail or bank account while sipping a latte at the mall, don't do it. While you're on a public network, even one that's encrypted, a nearby hacker can capture your passwords.

8. Give it a rest. Turning off your computer when it's not in use saves energy and clears out the RAM, or temporary memory, which would otherwise slow your machine over time.

9. If you can't get online, call your Internet service provider first. Connection problems can often be checked and fixed-free.

10. If you want to see less of me, get a Mac. That's what we use. ?Macs are actually a little bad for my business,? says Schildkraut.

11. No, you can't use your cell phone to pop popcorn. Next time an Internet rumor drops into your inbox, don't just pass it on-check it out at snopes.com first.

12. Sometimes we talk about you-in code. If you hear ?HKI error? (for human-keyboard interface) or ?PEBCAK? (problem exists between chair and keyboard), we're insulting you.

13. If you don't understand me, I'm not doing my job. Confusing tech jargon is a sign of insecurity, not intelligence.

Jon Clark - BANNED FOR LIFE · 09-15-2008, 10:42 AM

good post...

12. Sometimes we talk about you-in code. If you hear “HKI error” (for human-keyboard interface) or “PEBCAK” (problem exists between chair and keyboard), we're insulting you.

gornyhuy · 09-15-2008, 11:19 AM

#10 is the biggest bullshit I've ever heard.

A-n-D-r-E-S · 09-15-2008, 11:27 AM

Nice!

fluffygrrl · 09-15-2008, 11:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pete-KT

4. Use “strong” passwords. Geek Squad agent Derek Meister suggests combining letters and numbers-but not your birth date-to create a “base” password, and adding a unique suffix for each site you use. If your base password is your spouse's initials and your anniversary date (say, SP061789), your Amazon password might be “SP061789AM.”

By far the most retarded idea ever.

Quote:

8. Give it a rest. Turning off your computer when it's not in use saves energy and clears out the RAM, or temporary memory, which would otherwise slow your machine over time.

Also don't forget to periodically rotate the power knob.

SteveHardeman · 09-15-2008, 11:30 AM

Dammit Pete, now I have to change my amazon password.

Quagmire · 09-15-2008, 11:33 AM

Any recommendations on what to use when cleaning the integrated cupholder?

Pete-KT · 09-15-2008, 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Quagmire

Any recommendations on what to use when cleaning the integrated cupholder?

Ya they make this lil thing called a CD cleaner try it out, its cleans the soda out of the cup holder

Rochard · 09-15-2008, 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gornyhuy

#10 is the biggest bullshit I've ever heard.

I don't get that either..... I've been running Vista for a solid six months know and I haven't had a single problem. They've come a long way since Windows 95!

SilentKnight · 09-15-2008, 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pete-KT

10. If you want to see less of me, get a Mac. That's what we use. “Macs are actually a little bad for my business,” says Schildkraut.

Spoken by a true Mac elitist, no doubt.

Mac loves to grab the ankles of the person on the ladder ahead of them.

tony286 · 09-15-2008, 01:07 PM

my friend worked in it support and they would say did you rtfm ? I was like what does that mean Read the fucking manual. lol

GigoloShawn · 09-15-2008, 01:09 PM

These all elected an eyeroll from me, but number 8 is so stupid and inaccurate that it actually caused damage.. If you see an iris, it's mine.

Marky333 · 09-15-2008, 01:47 PM

Yeah the nicest thing is when you go to fix a problem and the computer is broke....
Person with the problem: Why did it broke??? ....
IT Specialist: Why does it rain outside?

Kudles · 09-16-2008, 09:45 PM

Thanks for the advice

TheDoc · 09-16-2008, 10:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fluffygrrl

By far the most retarded idea ever.

Wow, ever?

What password would you suggest the average, not daily, computer user, use so they can remember what the password is after weeks or months of not using it?

Vegas Ken · 09-16-2008, 10:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteveHardeman

Dammit Pete, now I have to change my amazon password.

That is too funny!

ISPrime_dimi · 09-16-2008, 11:02 PM

i see someone's been reading RD

good post!

gimo33 · 09-16-2008, 11:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pete-KT

12. Sometimes we talk about you-in code. If you hear ?HKI error? (for human-keyboard interface) or ?PEBCAK? (problem exists between chair and keyboard), we're insulting you.

fluffygrrl · 09-16-2008, 11:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheDoc

Wow, ever?

What password would you suggest the average, not daily, computer user, use so they can remember what the password is after weeks or months of not using it?

Well since you ask.

The key to remembering passwords is in not thinking about them.

Pick ANY 16 character string of evil nonsense. It has to be nonsense. Meaningful stuff does not work, and at all. Even if it's just a little meaningful.

Then go to the site and log in and back out 12 times right off. Type it in every time. That day, log in and off again every couple of hours 4 times in a row. That week log in and off coupla times every day.

Provided you log in more than once a month, you will remember that sucka like Pavlov's dog : Couldn't tell anyone what the fuck it was, if they tortured you, but in front of the proper login screen it'll just magically type itself.

It's how the brain of mammals work, and so provided you're not mentally inferior to the average rat, you will never forget a password again. This may not work if you've ever had a stroke.

Shey · 09-16-2008, 11:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheDoc

Wow, ever?

What password would you suggest the average, not daily, computer user, use so they can remember what the password is after weeks or months of not using it?

Roboform, just started using it and loving it so far.

TheDoc · 09-16-2008, 11:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fluffygrrl

Well since you ask.

The key to remembering passwords is in not thinking about them.

Pick ANY 16 character string of evil nonsense. It has to be nonsense. Meaningful stuff does not work, and at all. Even if it's just a little meaningful.

Then go to the site and log in and back out 12 times right off. Type it in every time. That day, log in and off again every couple of hours 4 times in a row. That week log in and off coupla times every day.

Provided you log in more than once a month, you will remember that sucka like Pavlov's dog : Couldn't tell anyone what the fuck it was, if they tortured you, but in front of the proper login screen it'll just magically type itself.

It's how the brain of mammals work, and so provided you're not mentally inferior to the average rat, you will never forget a password again. This may not work if you've ever had a stroke.

And now we know which answer was more retarded.

TheDoc · 09-16-2008, 11:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shey

Roboform, just started using it and loving it so far.

Roboform is for sure one handy tool, a tad annoying with the password stuff but a solid time saver either way.

I don't think tech support people can really dish out something like Roboform to the average caller and they get it any more than understanding why they need a complex password.

aico · 09-16-2008, 11:58 PM

All you need to know is #10. The rest will no longer exist.

pornask · 09-16-2008, 11:58 PM

Whatever credibility this post may have had was lost at #10.

fluffygrrl · 09-17-2008, 12:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheDoc

And now we know which answer was more retarded.

Not only do we know which answer was more retarded, but we also know how smart the person asking the question was.

Matt 26z · 09-17-2008, 12:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pete-KT

8. Give it a rest. Turning off your computer when it's not in use saves energy and clears out the RAM, or temporary memory, which would otherwise slow your machine over time.

How many watts does an idle computer use?

TheDoc · 09-17-2008, 12:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fluffygrrl

Not only do we know which answer was more retarded, but we also know how smart the person asking the question was.

You are an odd fellow... to say the least.

09-15-2008, 11:19 AM	#3
gornyhuy Chafed. Join Date: May 2002 Location: Face Down in Pussy Posts: 18,041	#10 is the biggest bullshit I've ever heard. __________________ icq:159548293

09-15-2008, 11:27 AM	#4
A-n-D-r-E-S Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 3,949	Nice! __________________ Adult Copywriters Hire a writer to create original content for your website.

09-15-2008, 11:30 AM	#6
SteveHardeman Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Atlanta Posts: 1,728	Dammit Pete, now I have to change my amazon password. __________________ BrokeAmateurs And ErosPOV And GirlsGoingSolo And PureAshley Sign Up At AmateursConvert.com Questions? I-C-Q: 3Five1FiveFive3476

09-15-2008, 11:33 AM	#7
Quagmire Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Stinkin' up your bathroom Posts: 6,490	Any recommendations on what to use when cleaning the integrated cupholder? __________________

09-15-2008, 01:09 PM	#12
GigoloShawn Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: No longer with Star Marketing Group. Posts: 700	These all elected an eyeroll from me, but number 8 is so stupid and inaccurate that it actually caused damage.. If you see an iris, it's mine. __________________ I no longer represent TrafficGigolos, please contact Justin or Rebecca with any issues.

09-15-2008, 10:35 AM	#1
Pete-KT Workin With The Devil Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: West Bloomfield, MI Posts: 51,532	13 Things Your Computer Person Won?t Tell You 1. Turn it off, turn it back on. ?Nine times out of ten, rebooting your computer-and any equipment that connects to it-will solve the problem,? says Aaron Schildkraut, who owns a home tech-support service in the New York tristate area. 2. Just because we're ?buddies? at work, don't expect me to come running every time you've got a problem. I've got a slew of IT problems to fix. 3. We're like Santa: We know if you've been bad or good. Fessing up to what really happened right before the system crashed is going to save time-and I'm going to figure it out anyway. 4. Use ?strong? passwords. Geek Squad agent Derek Meister suggests combining letters and numbers-but not your birth date-to create a ?base? password, and adding a unique suffix for each site you use. If your base password is your spouse's initials and your anniversary date (say, SP061789), your Amazon password might be ?SP061789AM.? 5. Make sure you have current antivirus and anti-spyware protection, and set it to update at least once a day and run a full-system scan at least once a week. 6. There's no free lunch. Downloading free music, movies, and games from file-sharing sites can open holes in your system for others to exploit. Play it safe and use established services like Rhapsody, iTunes, and Netflix. 7. Remember: Public Wi-Fi is public. If you don't have a compelling reason to check your e-mail or bank account while sipping a latte at the mall, don't do it. While you're on a public network, even one that's encrypted, a nearby hacker can capture your passwords. 8. Give it a rest. Turning off your computer when it's not in use saves energy and clears out the RAM, or temporary memory, which would otherwise slow your machine over time. 9. If you can't get online, call your Internet service provider first. Connection problems can often be checked and fixed-free. 10. If you want to see less of me, get a Mac. That's what we use. ?Macs are actually a little bad for my business,? says Schildkraut. 11. No, you can't use your cell phone to pop popcorn. Next time an Internet rumor drops into your inbox, don't just pass it on-check it out at snopes.com first. 12. Sometimes we talk about you-in code. If you hear ?HKI error? (for human-keyboard interface) or ?PEBCAK? (problem exists between chair and keyboard), we're insulting you. 13. If you don't understand me, I'm not doing my job. Confusing tech jargon is a sign of insecurity, not intelligence.

09-15-2008, 10:42 AM	#2
Jon Clark - BANNED FOR LIFE North Coast Pimp Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: 304-534-757 Posts: 9,395	good post... 12. Sometimes we talk about you-in code. If you hear “HKI error” (for human-keyboard interface) or “PEBCAK” (problem exists between chair and keyboard), we're insulting you.

09-15-2008, 01:07 PM	#11
tony286 lurker Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: atlanta Posts: 57,021	my friend worked in it support and they would say did you rtfm ? I was like what does that mean Read the fucking manual. lol

09-15-2008, 01:47 PM	#13
Marky333 Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 974	Yeah the nicest thing is when you go to fix a problem and the computer is broke.... Person with the problem: Why did it broke??? .... IT Specialist: Why does it rain outside?

09-16-2008, 09:45 PM	#14
Kudles Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Here There and Everywhere Posts: 5,477	Thanks for the advice __________________ Free to Play MMOs and MMORPGs

09-16-2008, 11:02 PM	#17
ISPrime_dimi Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 228	i see someone's been reading RD good post! __________________ Contact me for great deals on managed hosting & CDN! Skype: [email protected] Email: [email protected]

09-16-2008, 11:58 PM	#23
aico Moo Moo Cow Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Washington State Posts: 14,748	All you need to know is #10. The rest will no longer exist.

09-16-2008, 11:58 PM	#24
pornask So Fucking Banned Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: 253-233-241 Posts: 6,518	Whatever credibility this post may have had was lost at #10.