redshift

I know it's kinda old but how many people do you know that fit the description of "redneck"

ie

Your grandfather died and left everything to his widow.
But she can't touch it until she's fourteen.


Your front porch collapses
and four dogs git killed.
(my Brother-in-law - this happened!!)


You know yer a redneck when you take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took
(the husband of the girl that works for me)

You take a six-pack cooler to church.
(the church I went to as a child threw beer busts on the weekend)

You have a rag for a gas cap.
(this is too common down here to count)


You have spray painted your
girlfriend's name on an overpass.
(just drive around down here you'll see)

Your `huntin dawg' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.
(I know a guy that paid $5000 for Duck dog)


It's easier to spray weed killer
on your lawn than mow it.
(my sister-in-law loves round-up)



Your pickup has a two-tone paint job
-- primer red and primer gray.
(too many to count)


YOUR IDEA OF HIGH-QUALITY ENTERTAINMENT
IS A SIX-PACK AND A BUG-ZAPPER.
(if you only knew hahaha)

Anyone in your family died right
after saying, "Hey, y'all watch this!".
(A Friends Uncle)



Your coffee table used to be a cable spool.
(The Guy I used to work for)


The Home Shopping operator recognizes your voice.
(my Aunt is a QVC Freak)

The taillight covers of your car
are made of red tape.
(too many to count)

Cheshire

You might be a redneck if...

~You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

~Your favorite kind of wine is strawberry.

~You play strip poker at family reunions.

~You refer to hot sex as relative humidity.

~You're using a Twister mat as a shower curtain.

~You can name the entire cast of the Dukes of Hazard, but not your congressmen.

~You think expresso means eight items or less.

__________________


just a little bit naughty

Sappy

You've been accused of lying through your tooth.