How to fuck affiliates! - GoFuckYourself.com

TampaToker · 06-17-2008, 01:44 AM

Took this from Will76's blog on ynot

Today's lesson on how to fuck your affiliates is a lesson about " life time joins".

What you need to do to master this skill is to advertise to affiliates that you will pay them for life on all sales they make by sending traffic to your program. But when the affiliate stops sending you traffic you stop sending them checks. Why should you keep paying them? What are they going to do, stop sending you traffic LOL? They already did that. So you have nothing to lose, actually you have money to gain. If you stop paying them you will have an instant source of income since you get to keep their money. After all, we all know "life time" really means like a couple years or a couple months, or mm hell it means whatever you want it to mean you are the boss so you make the rules as you go! Besides only morons could possibly think that they would be paid for life.. for doing what? nothing??? They sent that traffic way back when and you continue to pay them now for doing nothing. What did they do for you this pay period? if the answer is zero, then why should you do anything for them?

Part 2, Life time joins, the TOS is your friend. If this affiliate bitches and tries to get you bad publicity then put the blame back on him. That ungrateful SOB is bitching? The nerve you are the one that should be bitching because you have been paying him for doing NOTHING! (When in doubt reference your TOS, that lets you do whatever you want to do because you are the Boss.) Explain to miss guided affiliate that the rules of your program requires him to be "active". Incase your affiliate doesn't understand explain to him that "active" means sending at least 1 hit even if he clicked on the link himself. Make sure to also post said logic publicly so other silly affiliates believe that they will be ok as long as they are "active". Affiliates are a stupid bunch of people, obviously they have to be because if they weren't stupid they would own their own program or be the Boss and run a program. (Between us program owners, if they do send a couple hits a month then use Plan B, " close their account for poor conversions".) If silly affiliate tries to get a bright idea and buys cheap traffic and sends couple hits a week and doesn't make any sales then you can always hit them with the "poor conversions" rule and still close the account down. Remember the golden rule fellow program owners, if they are not making you money fuck them, fuck them, fuck them.

Part 3, Life time joins, Invalid Contact info. Is his contact info up to date? If silly affiliate is still trying to get paid (the nerve, you paid him tons of money for nothing, what has he sent you lately ? NOTHING!) you can always throw the " we couldn't contact you so we decided to stop paying you. We were trying to contact you to let you know that we would stop paying you but since you didn't reply, we decided to stop paying you." Silly affiliate will surely scratch his head and say ? wtf i don't understand, but he is right I didn't have an updated email on file so this is my fault. Now fellow program screwers, if you can pull this off then you are a pro at fucking affiliates... after you explain to silly affiliate how this was all his fault and that you are not going to pay him, tell him you will allow him to promote your company again in the future but he would have to make a new account. If you can convince silly affiliate to send you more traffic using the new account then you have successfully completed the course, "How to fuck affiliates".

Next week's lesson, 7 day cookies!

media · 06-17-2008, 01:49 AM

wow.. crazy shit.. this is gonna be in peoples heads for a while I think..

Lee · 06-17-2008, 01:51 AM

How true...

fallenmuffin · 06-17-2008, 01:51 AM

Yup. Will76 hit the nail on the head with this one. There's a thousand ways to cut corners and with every cut an affiliate gets fucked.

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 06-17-2008, 01:59 AM

Free Will76...

ADG

WiredGuy · 06-17-2008, 02:00 AM

Is Will76 still banned here?
WG

million · 06-17-2008, 02:08 AM

Is that the guy that always complained about Zango stuff?

Fat Panda · 06-17-2008, 02:39 AM

i am by no means a big hitter...but i'd rather shoot myself in the foot before promoting VS

Pnk XXX · 06-17-2008, 02:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WiredGuy

Is Will76 still banned here?
WG

wow they banned him from gfy?

how lame that GFY starts censoring ppl who actually speak out about subjects.

not surprising though, this board is full of jews.

adult-help · 06-17-2008, 02:41 AM

painful question

Iron Fist · 06-17-2008, 03:50 AM

Free Will76...

JamesK · 06-17-2008, 04:02 AM

Will76 was a great addition to the GFY soap

en21 · 06-17-2008, 04:49 AM

see u in court :-)

Stephen McTowelie · 06-17-2008, 08:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pnk XXX

wow they banned him from gfy?

how lame that GFY starts censoring ppl who actually speak out about subjects.

not surprising though, this board is full of jews.

LOL WTF ????

Was it really necessary to tell everyone your a retarded racist ?

Oh by the way

Mister E · 06-17-2008, 08:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pnk XXX

wow they banned him from gfy?

how lame that GFY starts censoring ppl who actually speak out about subjects.

not surprising though, this board is full of jews.

You are kidding right?

Checked out your avatar and you seem so grown up....

If you see ZOG say hi from Uncle Mandy

(as the Jews take over the world one post at a time)

Quagmire · 06-17-2008, 08:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stephen McTowelie

LOL WTF ????

Was it really necessary to tell everyone your a retarded racist ?

Oh by the way

I think its better for us all to know up front that he's a douche.

pornguy · 06-17-2008, 08:47 AM

Amazing.

I would have thunk that VS would have fixed this by now.

Barefootsies · 06-17-2008, 09:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pnk XXX

wow they banned him from gfy?

how lame that GFY starts censoring ppl who actually speak out about subjects.

not surprising though, this board is full of jews.

Juicy D. Links · 06-17-2008, 09:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pnk XXX

not surprising though, this board is full of jews.

idiot who do you think signs any checks you receive dumb shit

xmas13 · 06-17-2008, 09:47 AM

No comment........

candyflip · 06-17-2008, 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Juicy D. Links

idiot who do you think signs any checks you receive dumb shit

CaptainHowdy · 06-17-2008, 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AsianDivaGirlsWebDude

Free Will76...

ADG

!

LeRoy · 06-17-2008, 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by candyflip

Funny shit

tranza · 06-17-2008, 12:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AsianDivaGirlsWebDude

Free Will76...

ADG

hahahaha good!

06-17-2008, 01:44 AM	#1
TampaToker Confirmed User Join Date: May 2006 Location: Tampa Posts: 5,827	How to fuck affiliates! Took this from Will76's blog on ynot Today's lesson on how to fuck your affiliates is a lesson about " life time joins". What you need to do to master this skill is to advertise to affiliates that you will pay them for life on all sales they make by sending traffic to your program. But when the affiliate stops sending you traffic you stop sending them checks. Why should you keep paying them? What are they going to do, stop sending you traffic LOL? They already did that. So you have nothing to lose, actually you have money to gain. If you stop paying them you will have an instant source of income since you get to keep their money. After all, we all know "life time" really means like a couple years or a couple months, or mm hell it means whatever you want it to mean you are the boss so you make the rules as you go! Besides only morons could possibly think that they would be paid for life.. for doing what? nothing??? They sent that traffic way back when and you continue to pay them now for doing nothing. What did they do for you this pay period? if the answer is zero, then why should you do anything for them? Part 2, Life time joins, the TOS is your friend. If this affiliate bitches and tries to get you bad publicity then put the blame back on him. That ungrateful SOB is bitching? The nerve you are the one that should be bitching because you have been paying him for doing NOTHING! (When in doubt reference your TOS, that lets you do whatever you want to do because you are the Boss.) Explain to miss guided affiliate that the rules of your program requires him to be "active". Incase your affiliate doesn't understand explain to him that "active" means sending at least 1 hit even if he clicked on the link himself. Make sure to also post said logic publicly so other silly affiliates believe that they will be ok as long as they are "active". Affiliates are a stupid bunch of people, obviously they have to be because if they weren't stupid they would own their own program or be the Boss and run a program. (Between us program owners, if they do send a couple hits a month then use Plan B, " close their account for poor conversions".) If silly affiliate tries to get a bright idea and buys cheap traffic and sends couple hits a week and doesn't make any sales then you can always hit them with the "poor conversions" rule and still close the account down. Remember the golden rule fellow program owners, if they are not making you money fuck them, fuck them, fuck them. Part 3, Life time joins, Invalid Contact info. Is his contact info up to date? If silly affiliate is still trying to get paid (the nerve, you paid him tons of money for nothing, what has he sent you lately ? NOTHING!) you can always throw the " we couldn't contact you so we decided to stop paying you. We were trying to contact you to let you know that we would stop paying you but since you didn't reply, we decided to stop paying you." Silly affiliate will surely scratch his head and say ? wtf i don't understand, but he is right I didn't have an updated email on file so this is my fault. Now fellow program screwers, if you can pull this off then you are a pro at fucking affiliates... after you explain to silly affiliate how this was all his fault and that you are not going to pay him, tell him you will allow him to promote your company again in the future but he would have to make a new account. If you can convince silly affiliate to send you more traffic using the new account then you have successfully completed the course, "How to fuck affiliates". Next week's lesson, 7 day cookies! __________________ Icq 247-742-205

06-17-2008, 01:49 AM	#2
media Confirmed Moneymaker Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Eugene, OR It's Like Jail, Only with Trees! Posts: 9,852	wow.. crazy shit.. this is gonna be in peoples heads for a while I think.. __________________ I'm here for the violence!

06-17-2008, 01:59 AM	#5
AsianDivaGirlsWebDude Purveyor, Fine Asian Porn Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: San Francisco Bay Area Posts: 38,323	Free Will76... ADG __________________ Asian Diva Girls - Exclusive Photos and Videos Asian Diva Girls Affiliate Program (50% ccBill Revshare)

06-17-2008, 02:00 AM	#6
WiredGuy Pounding Googlebot Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 34,482	Is Will76 still banned here? WG __________________ I play with Google.

06-17-2008, 02:08 AM	#7
million Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Pornyland Posts: 789	Is that the guy that always complained about Zango stuff? __________________ <sig spot goes here>

06-17-2008, 01:51 AM	#3
Lee Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Kernow Posts: 2,977	How true...

06-17-2008, 01:51 AM	#4
fallenmuffin Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 8,170	Yup. Will76 hit the nail on the head with this one. There's a thousand ways to cut corners and with every cut an affiliate gets fucked.

06-17-2008, 02:39 AM	#8
Fat Panda Porn is Dead. Move along. Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 13,295	i am by no means a big hitter...but i'd rather shoot myself in the foot before promoting VS

06-17-2008, 02:41 AM	#10
adult-help Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 2,450	painful question __________________ Adult web templates, Adult WordPress Themes, TGP, MGP.. also Complete Wordpress PaySite Development - Adult WordPress Blog Themes - Free FHG Templates - Free PaySite Script - Adult Tutorials Directory - Adult Domain Marketplace - Adult Jobs

06-17-2008, 03:50 AM	#11
Iron Fist Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 23,400	Free Will76... __________________ i like waffles

06-17-2008, 04:02 AM	#12
JamesK hi Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 16,731	Will76 was a great addition to the GFY soap __________________ M3Server - NATS Hosting

06-17-2008, 04:49 AM	#13
en21 Confirmed User Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 2,640	see u in court :-) __________________ Free Asian Sex : http://www.asian4free.com Free Amateur Sex : http://www.lustamateur.com Free Porn : http://www.mysexbookmark.com Free Sex : http://www.goliathlist.com Free Hardcore : http://www.xlust.com Sex For Free : http://www.sexforfee.com

06-17-2008, 08:47 AM	#17
pornguy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Homeless Posts: 62,911	Amazing. I would have thunk that VS would have fixed this by now. __________________ PornGuy skype me pornguy_epic AmateurDough The Hottes Shemales online! TChicks.com \| Angeles Cid \| Mariana Cordoba \| MAILERS WELCOME!

06-17-2008, 09:47 AM	#20
xmas13 Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: GFY Posts: 5,176	No comment........ __________________ ICQ 557504926