Originally Posted by Rochard (Post 14278109)

That's the problem. None of the situations are the same, and everyone of them has specific circumstances. And I'm sure there are a lot of deadbeat dads out there. But the question is would they be deadbeat dads if they had custody of their children, didn't have to pay to support them, and now collect child support from the mother? No, they wouldn't be deadbeat dads because they wouldn't be spending their income giving it to a ex-lover and not being able to see their children.

Your story is rather interesting and I'm sure it's repeated thousands of times a day. And it's sad. But it sounds to me more like he changed his mind about being a father.

No, not all men are "saintly" and want what's best for their kids. But I bet you most of them are if there was a level playing ground. But when you take a portion of their income and restrict access to their kids and not allow them to be a part of their daily lives, well, it sort of sucks the life out of them.

We call it deadbeat dads because the women typically get the kids. But if you throw the shoe on the other foot it makes no difference. At the end of the day one parent is coming out ahead and has a normal life plus financial support, and on the other hand the other parent is getting brutally fucked in the ass. I mentioned my sister-in-law; She can't afford to make the payments and just lost her house because of it. How does that help the situation?

I know six or seven people that have kids and custody issues. And in every case the one paying the support - man or woman - is getting fucked. My sister-in-law, mentioned above, lost her house and is having problems paying for her apartment. My friend Neal ( who I think I mentioned earlier) has four kids from three different mothers and and pays nearly more in child support than he makes (granted, he should have kept his damn dick in his pants).

I could go on......

I think we need a huge change in the system. Both parents have joint custody and share the financial obligation fifty fifty. How does that work if you live in different states? Spend six months with one parent, and then six months with the other parent. No money trades hands, problems solved.

Originally Posted by jetjet (Post 14278368)

often sex is the result of raging hormones and youthful alcohol excessive consumption, there is often not alot of logical thought and brains involved in the process (haven't you ever heard the "little head took over" train of thought?)

I know it's not an excuse for anyone, but I bet alot of unwanted pregnancies are the result of going with the flow of youthful lust and inebriated exuberance rather than any planning. Young people tend to be of the invincible train of thought as well, youth take risks in all sorts of ways, sometimes they get burned.

Originally Posted by baddog (Post 14264874)

yep. I asked him, "you know, I am going to probably tell people that was your reasoning. Are you sure you don't want to try again?"

He thought it was valid reasoning. I got the impression he was a couple sandwiches short of a picnic.

Sorry, Right-To-life

Originally Posted by Ayla_SquareTurtle (Post 14278482)

I think our opinions on this are actually more similar than it may seem. I would MUCH RATHER see people involved in a 50/50 split where no one has to have to have an actual child support payment just like you described. That would be ideal, and it seems the most natural to me. That's exactly what my niece's mom was trying to do, and yes, you are right, he apparently DID change his mind about being a dad. But he changed his mind AFTER the baby was born, not before, so why should he get to just walk off with no responsibility to the child he said he wanted? Child support payments should be reserved for the people who can't work it out like normal civilized human beings.

Originally Posted by NikKay (Post 14265364)

If she decides to birth the child and give it up for adoption, he should have the right to keep the child if he so desires and she should then be on the hook to provide financial support.

Originally Posted by Rochard (Post 14278639)

............... When a man and a woman produce a child they have both a financial and moral obligation to that child, not just for the next eighteen years but until the day they die........

Originally Posted by Rochard (Post 14278639)

Sometimes in cases like this it's best for the one parent to just carry on and never expect anything. If not, life will be full disappointment.

Originally Posted by Ayla_SquareTurtle (Post 14278718)

So if my niece's mom had popped her out and then thought to herself "shit, I don't want to be a mother anymore." It would be OK for her to have dropped her off at the father's house the day she got out of the hospital and left it to him to raise her? That sure doesn't sound fair to me either.

Originally Posted by nation-x (Post 14278663)

If he didn't want to take the responsibility for his actions then he shouldn't have fucked her... pure and simple. It's basic logic... sex CAN result in pregnancy... I can never understand this really... I have literally fucked hundreds of women and didn't get any of them pregnant until I decided to have a child with my girlfriend (now wife). Of course... I was also silly in the fact that I never used a condom even once with any of them... if I had caught aids or some other STD it would have been my responsibility...

Originally Posted by AmeliaG (Post 14264833)

Say two people hook up at some random event. They are not in love. They do not have a relationship. Maybe the guy doesn't even know the chick's last name. But the condom breaks and she gets knocked up.

Should he be required to pay for an abortion?

Should he be required to pay for half an abortion?

Should he be required to support the proceeds of a broken condom with a stranger for the rest of his life or at least 18 years and nine months?

What if the chick put pinholes in the condom because she knew the guy had some money, but the kid is definitely his genetics?

Is there a point at which the man stops being responsible for a choice someone else makes or does he lose the right to make further choices when he agrees to have sexual intercourse?

Originally Posted by Rochard (Post 14279857)

No, not at all. Hopefully your friend is smarter than that.

Originally Posted by severe (Post 14278692)

:1orglaugh
somehow i find it very hard to believe this would ever actually happen where the woman was forced to pay child support

i wonder if theres been a case like this ever.

Originally Posted by severe (Post 14278692)

:1orglaugh
somehow i find it very hard to believe this would ever actually happen where the woman was forced to pay child support

i wonder if theres been a case like this ever.