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Old 10-16-2002, 07:45 PM   #1
Amputate Your Head
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Miracle shirt turns losers into babe magnets

LOS ANGELES ? Geeks are becoming popular party animals, thanks to an incredible new shirt that makes them seem as sexy as Hollywood movie stars!

It?s called the Party Shirt, and it turns social misfits into irresistible hunks. Early tests show the chemically treated shirt drives women wild whenever they come near any man who?s wearing it.

?I used to get tossed out of line any time I tried to get into a hot nightclub,? says Ralph Jarmel, a 22-year-old convenience-store clerk from L.A. ?Girls would laugh at my skinny body and my eyeglasses.

?Then I found this incredible shirt, and it?s like Saturday Night Fever every night.?

The Party Shirt is the creation of designer Amanda Lowson, who?s been testing it in fun-loving towns like Los Angeles, New York and Miami. Lowson combined her fashion sense with a degree in chemistry to produce a social lifesaver.

Lowson says the silk-rayon fabric is treated with male sex pheromones, which are chemicals naturally produced by the human body. Pheromones have been scientifically proven to reel in the opposite sex by causing an almost magnetic attraction through the sense of smell.

?We tested the fabric with a group of homely men and a group of attractive women,? Lowson says. ?The women barely glanced at the men when the test subjects were wearing ordinary clothing. But when we had them put on the Party Shirt ? well, the women latched on to them so fast you?d think the guys had just won the lottery.?

Lowson, who?s still working on a women?s version of the shirt, says she also used color-theory research. ?Many studies have shown that people respond positively to vibrant colors and patterns,? she explains. ?Our focus groups had extremely positive reactions to the classic Hawaiian shirt, which caused them to view the wearer as fun and hip.?

?No one ever saw me that way before,? says a soft-spoken 27-year-old accountant from Miami. ?Then I wore the Party Shirt to a cocktail party, and the next thing I knew I was dancing with two really hot women.?

Scientists are skeptical about the Party Shirt.

?Pheromones are not some kind of magic potion that wipes out all reason in a woman,? says a spokesman for the Human Pheromone Project in Denver. ?Once she sniffs you, you?d better be able to keep her interest.?

Lowson agrees completely.

?The pheromones may just be a confidence booster that helps shy men get over their self-consciousness,? she says.

?Perhaps this shirt just gives them the courage to show the truly magnetic personality they had inside them all the time.?
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Old 10-16-2002, 07:46 PM   #2
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fuck the party shirt, I want party boxers!
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Old 10-16-2002, 07:46 PM   #3
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I Know of a webmaster with one


Last edited by Pipecrew; 10-16-2002 at 07:48 PM..
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Old 10-16-2002, 07:58 PM   #4
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I don't believe it cuz chicks dig losers...
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Old 10-16-2002, 07:59 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally posted by Pipecrew
I Know of a webmaster with one

ROFL!!!
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Old 10-16-2002, 08:01 PM   #6
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FUCK!

My secret is out. Thanks for nothing AMP.
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Old 10-16-2002, 08:12 PM   #7
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Originally posted by AaronM
FUCK!

My secret is out. Thanks for nothing AMP.
Your secret? Look at me! I am totally fucked now!
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Old 10-16-2002, 09:35 PM   #8
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OMFG!!!! Oh shit, I am laughing too hard to write anything serious!

The computer geek solution!!!
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Old 10-16-2002, 11:16 PM   #9
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pardon me while I step out to grab me a pair of party pants.......
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Old 10-17-2002, 01:55 AM   #10
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Have any of you ever tried one of those pheromone colognes and what was the outcome?
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Old 10-17-2002, 02:28 AM   #11
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hahahahaha. pipecrew, that is the funniest damn response i've seen.
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Old 10-17-2002, 03:53 AM   #12
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jesus petr.. dont they come with instructions??

unbutton that godamn shirt man!
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Old 10-17-2002, 03:54 AM   #13
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and stop stealing the clothes out of the salvation army bins
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Old 10-17-2002, 04:04 AM   #14
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Old 10-17-2002, 05:18 AM   #15
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Suck me sideways.... where can I get a shirt like that, and does she come with it?
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Old 10-17-2002, 05:37 AM   #16
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Ordered a dozen ! Aria is camping on my doorstep in anticipation!
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Old 10-17-2002, 05:40 AM   #17
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I wonder if ppl will wear that stuff for weddings!

I guess they will have to sleep in their clothes!
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Old 10-17-2002, 07:19 AM   #18
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Let's see some pictures of this shirt. Maybe it is made up of $100 bills around those colors.
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Old 10-17-2002, 07:30 AM   #19
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http://weeklyworldnews.com/news/index.cfm
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Old 10-17-2002, 07:33 AM   #20
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This reminds me of the pheromone "cologne" I used to push. Nice minor income, I would sell about 2-3 bottles per day.
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Old 10-17-2002, 09:49 AM   #21
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bahhahah isnt this the same site that reported a comet was going to destroy the earth?
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Old 10-17-2002, 09:51 AM   #22
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Old 10-17-2002, 09:59 AM   #23
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Got My shirt in the mail ! Wow, the chicks are starting to line up outside !

http://www.fubarwebmastersadventures...r/PIC00323.htm
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Old 10-17-2002, 11:15 AM   #24
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o_0
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