FUCK JEHOVAH WITNESS's - GoFuckYourself.com

Jai · 03-01-2008, 12:16 PM

they wake my ass up every sat morning by ringing the bell

the just told me the world is going to end...

i told them to get a education and start to get PAID

baddog · 03-01-2008, 12:18 PM

The world is going to end. To believe otherwise is foolish.

D · 03-01-2008, 12:22 PM

Tell them you're an "apostate."

This means - to them - that you're someone who left their religion willingly, and that they're to view you an incarnation of the antichrist.

They're trained to back away, note your address, and take steps to insure that no further JW's visit you in the future.

After all, best way to maintain a cult is to thoroughly excise the dissenters, eh?

Of course, you could always do as I do, and invite them in for some interesting conversation - provided you have the time and have studied up on their "religion."

baddog · 03-01-2008, 12:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by D

Of course, you could always do as I do, and invite them in for some interesting conversation - provided you have the time and have studied up on their "religion."

When I am not busy I get into discussions with them.

One time I told them I was too busy to talk and they asked if they could help me. I asked if they knew html.

D · 03-01-2008, 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by baddog

When I am not busy I get into discussions with them.

One time I told them I was too busy to talk and they asked if they could help me. I asked if they knew html.

I remember you saying that before. Classic.

Jai · 03-01-2008, 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by baddog

When I am not busy I get into discussions with them.

One time I told them I was too busy to talk and they asked if they could help me. I asked if they knew html.

LOL teach them submitting to TGP galleriies!

Horny Dude · 03-01-2008, 12:27 PM

LOL...I love fucking around with them. I have pulled so many pranks on them. They still come to my door. I should get a video camera and record it....Youtube fame!

2012 · 03-01-2008, 12:30 PM

Quote:

Jehovah's Witnesses are that in name only. They are not really Jehovah's Witnesses, but a cult of the worst kind. They claim to follow Jehovah God, but they actually follow a man named Charles Taze Russell. So we'll call them Russelites. Russell founded his cult in 1879

Tell them you don't like RUSSELLITES
which is what they are...

I would get really pissed because I had to put a NO SOLICITING sign on my house. That didn't work ... they just sat there and told me they aren't soliciting anything. I threatened them ... that didn't work. I got put on "lists" to avoid. That didn't work ...

Now I just politely say. No thanks... and go back to bed.

baddog · 03-01-2008, 12:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jai

LOL teach them submitting to TGP galleriies!

Next time I will have them work in the back yard. Clean up after the dog, re stack the firewood. Stuff like that.

Markul · 03-01-2008, 12:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jai

they wake my ass up every sat morning by ringing the bell

the just told me the world is going to end...

i told them to get a education and start to get PAID

Answer the door naked, I did that once and never saw them again. I was also rather hungover and probably smelled bad too

2012 · 03-01-2008, 12:37 PM

RUSSEL

Diligent · 03-01-2008, 12:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by baddog

When I am not busy I get into discussions with them.

One time I told them I was too busy to talk and they asked if they could help me. I asked if they knew html.

Aahaha... that's fucking great!

D · 03-01-2008, 12:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fartfly

RUSSEL

Actually... that wouldn't be him.

He died in 1916.... and the religion has evolved considerably since those days. All JW's know that he founded the religion... but not very many know how different it was prior to the 1930's... or that Russell preached his original "the world is coming to an end" message with a date-stamp on it... 1914.

He was a quack I think... of the same order as Joseph Smith or L. Ron Hubbard - probably moreso. Lots of controversy surrounding his life - such as his statement that he translated the bible from Hebrew and Greek first-hand... and then being unable to relay a simply translation from Greek according to court transcripts.

He was one of those "Pyramid Power" peeps... and, in fact, his body is currently housed under a Pyramid tomb.

Makes for some interesting reading... and surely something to discuss with a JW the next time they swing by.

D · 03-01-2008, 12:51 PM

Here we go...

here's the quack:

2012 · 03-01-2008, 12:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by D

Actually... that wouldn't be him.

I was being sarcastic

. Thats the cult leader from poltergeist ... that's why I brought up Russellites... makes for much better conversation with them ( if you're in the mood to argue with idiots ) then the standard. "Can you see the Virgin Mary in my yard? ... Isn't obvious what religion I think I have? " ...
.... very arrogant assholes ... but I guess I would be too if I believed I was better and more spiritually aware then everyone else on the planet.

LivePornBlog · 03-01-2008, 01:14 PM

I feel bad for both parties... the people who are brainwashed and those they try to brainwash.

SleazyDream · 03-01-2008, 01:19 PM

you should have invited them in and played a game seeing just how long you could make them stay. It's FUN.

at first you buy into everything and they LOVE that.

then you start asking stupid questions like premartial sex, medical questions, possible scanarios and such and KEEP going with them.

they are only supposed to stay sooo long at one place so you KEEP asking questions being nice and if they say you have to leave get DESPRITE with them.

best i've ever done is an hour so far - they RUN after 30 mins usually. Sad they can't handle their own shit put back at them in a positive way.

D · 03-01-2008, 01:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fartfly

I was being sarcastic

.

Ahh...

Yeah - I thought he looked familiar. Haven't seen that movie since it first hit HBO.

CurrentlySober · 03-01-2008, 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LivePornBlog

I feel bad for both parties... the people who are brainwashed and those they try to brainwash.

Nice looking sig you have there...

Completely against the rules... But fucking nice looking

Spunky · 03-01-2008, 02:00 PM

That's why I keep the gate locked

Dvae · 03-01-2008, 02:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jai

they wake my ass up every sat morning by ringing the bell

the just told me the world is going to end...

i told them to get a education and start to get PAID

Get rid of your door bell and get one these doorknockers!
Problem solved.

Walrus · 03-01-2008, 03:59 PM

I had a very attractive Jehova Witness woman and her daughter come to our house just after Christmas. She reminded me a bit of Jennifer Connelly. Such a shame...

PornMogul · 03-01-2008, 04:08 PM

Weird. The porn Mogul has never had them come to my door. Probably because they don't go near the beach...

L-Pink · 03-01-2008, 05:43 PM

I've got a 100 plus yard driveway with a no-trespassing sign half way up ... When someone I don't know knocks on my door I tend to be very rude.

brandonstills · 03-01-2008, 05:50 PM

I used to play Quake ][ really loud on the stereo when they would show up. I suppose blasting porn would have a similar effect.

VikingMan · 03-01-2008, 06:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dvae

Get rid of your door bell and get one these doorknockers!
Problem solved.

Bojangles · 03-01-2008, 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fartfly

RUSSEL

Lol. Poltergeist 2.

Walrus · 03-01-2008, 07:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bojangles

Lol. Poltergeist 2.

I was aboslutely horrified for years after seeing that. That guy was incredibly creepy and scary looking.

Fap · 03-01-2008, 08:11 PM

They also believe if you die before judgement day your soul wont be saved and it dies.. whack

trix · 03-01-2008, 08:27 PM

Back in the early 70's on a hot hot Southern day, a college professor of mine kept getting bothered by them. Finally he asked them in for lemonade (spiked with tons of unknown vodka) and as they staggered down the street afterwards, he called up the local church and reported them as drunk and bothering him. A car screeched to a halt a bit later, grabbed them up, and he was never bothered again.

Wrong on so many levels but funny.

VeriSexy · 03-01-2008, 09:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dvae

Get rid of your door bell and get one these doorknockers!
Problem solved.

I need to get me that

Jace · 03-01-2008, 09:33 PM

I'm Jehovah, you didn't witness shit!

Cash · 03-02-2008, 01:05 AM

Stay away from those fanatics ...

who · 03-02-2008, 01:17 AM

I think I converted one to atheism once. They are just so silly.

D · 03-02-2008, 02:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by banthis

They also believe if you die before judgement day your soul wont be saved and it dies.. whack

You're mistaken.

I've studied their dogma, as I have with a few different religions, and it goes like this:

They believe that everyone that's going to heaven has to die before judgment day to go into effect. The number of peeps going to heaven - throughout all of time - is exactly 144,000. When the last one of that bunch dies - and the last of them arrives and gets their wings - that's the eternals' queue to kick off the end of the world.

In their version of "Armageddon," god kills everyone but 2 groups of peeps: 1) Jehovah's Witnesses, and 2) Those that have never had their door knocked on (innocents - like babies, eskimos, etc). Those that survive the ordeal are rewarded with immortality, and spend the next 10,000 years working with Jesus to rebuild the Earth into a paradise - after which, all those Jehovah's Witnesses and innocents that died before and during Armageddon are resurrected - literally rise from their graves - to achieve their own immortality and live with the rest of Jehovah's Witnesses in that newly-finished Paradise for ever and ever and ever... without disease, war, or any of that natural stuff that scientists made up... and never have to worry about dieing, and can wrestle with lions and shit for fun.

I guess they're not considering the overpopulation issues this whole thing would cause... among other travesties the whole situation would seem to perpetuate.

GrouchyAdmin · 03-02-2008, 03:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by baddog

The world is going to end. To believe otherwise is foolish.

Yeah, but for you this is likely an hourly occurrence. Most of us have to get really stoned or hurt to remember our own mortality.

VDB-Design · 03-02-2008, 03:14 AM

Each to his own. But they should not bother in people, especially when they do this too often als you say.

hjnet · 03-02-2008, 04:45 AM

I totally freak out if some telemarketer calls me and steals 30sec of my valuable time. If someone rings my doorbell at Saturday morning and wakes me up I'd have to kill them.

Zuzana Designs · 03-02-2008, 06:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dvae

Get rid of your door bell and get one these doorknockers!
Problem solved.

LOLZ thats great

03-01-2008, 12:16 PM	#1
Jai Confirmed User Join Date: May 2005 Location: http://www.fitnesspornbabes.com Posts: 6,915	FUCK JEHOVAH WITNESS's they wake my ass up every sat morning by ringing the bell the just told me the world is going to end... i told them to get a education and start to get PAID

03-01-2008, 12:22 PM	#3
D Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: The Valley Posts: 7,412	Tell them you're an "apostate." This means - to them - that you're someone who left their religion willingly, and that they're to view you an incarnation of the antichrist. They're trained to back away, note your address, and take steps to insure that no further JW's visit you in the future. After all, best way to maintain a cult is to thoroughly excise the dissenters, eh? Of course, you could always do as I do, and invite them in for some interesting conversation - provided you have the time and have studied up on their "religion." __________________ -D. ICQ: 202-96-31

03-01-2008, 12:27 PM	#7
Horny Dude Earn enough to buy coffee Industry Role: Join Date: May 2002 Location: San Diego, Ca. Posts: 4,912	LOL...I love fucking around with them. I have pulled so many pranks on them. They still come to my door. I should get a video camera and record it....Youtube fame! __________________

03-01-2008, 12:37 PM	#11
2012 So Fucking What Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 17,189	RUSSEL __________________ best host: Webair \| best sponsor: Kink \| best coder: 688218966 \| Go Fuck Yourself

03-01-2008, 12:51 PM	#14
D Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: The Valley Posts: 7,412	Here we go... here's the quack: __________________ -D. ICQ: 202-96-31

03-01-2008, 12:18 PM	#2
baddog So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: the beach, SoCal Posts: 107,089	The world is going to end. To believe otherwise is foolish.

03-01-2008, 01:14 PM	#16
LivePornBlog Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 446	I feel bad for both parties... the people who are brainwashed and those they try to brainwash.

03-01-2008, 01:19 PM	#17
SleazyDream I'm here for SPORT Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phone # (401) 285-0696 Posts: 41,470	you should have invited them in and played a game seeing just how long you could make them stay. It's FUN. at first you buy into everything and they LOVE that. then you start asking stupid questions like premartial sex, medical questions, possible scanarios and such and KEEP going with them. they are only supposed to stay sooo long at one place so you KEEP asking questions being nice and if they say you have to leave get DESPRITE with them. best i've ever done is an hour so far - they RUN after 30 mins usually. Sad they can't handle their own shit put back at them in a positive way. __________________ This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! Now read without the word dog.

03-01-2008, 02:00 PM	#20
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,943	That's why I keep the gate locked __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

03-01-2008, 03:59 PM	#22
Walrus Confirmed User Join Date: May 2005 Location: USA Posts: 2,150	I had a very attractive Jehova Witness woman and her daughter come to our house just after Christmas. She reminded me a bit of Jennifer Connelly. Such a shame...

03-01-2008, 04:08 PM	#23
PornMogul Confirmed User Join Date: May 2007 Location: LA Posts: 1,495	Weird. The porn Mogul has never had them come to my door. Probably because they don't go near the beach...

03-01-2008, 05:43 PM	#24
L-Pink working on my tan Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Florida/Kentucky Posts: 39,151	I've got a 100 plus yard driveway with a no-trespassing sign half way up ... When someone I don't know knocks on my door I tend to be very rude.

03-01-2008, 05:50 PM	#25
brandonstills Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Chatsworth, CA Posts: 1,964	I used to play Quake ][ really loud on the stereo when they would show up. I suppose blasting porn would have a similar effect. __________________ Brandon Stills Industry and programming veteran [email protected] \| skype: brandonstills \| ICQ #495-171-318

03-01-2008, 08:11 PM	#29
Fap Just Du It Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 12,094	They also believe if you die before judgement day your soul wont be saved and it dies.. whack

03-01-2008, 08:27 PM	#30
trix Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 335	Back in the early 70's on a hot hot Southern day, a college professor of mine kept getting bothered by them. Finally he asked them in for lemonade (spiked with tons of unknown vodka) and as they staggered down the street afterwards, he called up the local church and reported them as drunk and bothering him. A car screeched to a halt a bit later, grabbed them up, and he was never bothered again. Wrong on so many levels but funny.

03-01-2008, 09:33 PM	#32
Jace FBOP Class Of 2013 Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: bumfuck, ky Posts: 35,562	I'm Jehovah, you didn't witness shit!

03-02-2008, 01:05 AM	#33
Cash Click on my TCG signature Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 20,825	Stay away from those fanatics ... __________________ $9.95/month for 15000 GB bandwidth monthly, unlimited (sub)domains and MySQL5, PHP4/5, 500 GB disk storage! ; use any of these invitation codes: 216263692101; 408636009193; 846090586647; my ICQ 30160426!

03-02-2008, 01:17 AM	#34
who So Fucking Banned Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: ICQ #23642053 Posts: 19,593	I think I converted one to atheism once. They are just so silly.

03-02-2008, 03:14 AM	#37
VDB-Design Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 121	Each to his own. But they should not bother in people, especially when they do this too often als you say. __________________ VDB-Design \| ICQ: 393950037 Complete website: $459 \| Logo design: $139 \| Animated banner: $24 \| Static banner: $19

03-02-2008, 04:45 AM	#38
hjnet Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: European Union Posts: 3,815	I totally freak out if some telemarketer calls me and steals 30sec of my valuable time. If someone rings my doorbell at Saturday morning and wakes me up I'd have to kill them.