FUCK JEHOVAH WITNESS's
 

they wake my ass up every sat morning by ringing the bell

the just told me the world is going to end... :1orglaugh:1orglaugh

i told them to get a education and start to get PAID

The world is going to end. To believe otherwise is foolish.

Tell them you're an "apostate." :2 cents:

This means - to them - that you're someone who left their religion willingly, and that they're to view you an incarnation of the antichrist.

They're trained to back away, note your address, and take steps to insure that no further JW's visit you in the future.

After all, best way to maintain a cult is to thoroughly excise the dissenters, eh?

Of course, you could always do as I do, and invite them in for some interesting conversation - provided you have the time and have studied up on their "religion."

When I am not busy I get into discussions with them.

One time I told them I was too busy to talk and they asked if they could help me. I asked if they knew html.

:1orglaugh

I remember you saying that before. Classic.

LOL teach them submitting to TGP galleriies!

LOL...I love fucking around with them. I have pulled so many pranks on them. They still come to my door. I should get a video camera and record it....Youtube fame!

Tell them you don't like RUSSELLITES
which is what they are...

I would get really pissed because I had to put a NO SOLICITING sign on my house. That didn't work ... they just sat there and told me they aren't soliciting anything. I threatened them ... that didn't work. I got put on "lists" to avoid. That didn't work ...

Now I just politely say. No thanks... and go back to bed. :thumbsup

Next time I will have them work in the back yard. Clean up after the dog, re stack the firewood. Stuff like that.

Answer the door naked, I did that once and never saw them again. I was also rather hungover and probably smelled bad too :upsidedow

http://www.blogtgp.com/RUSSELLITE.jpg
RUSSEL

Aahaha... that's fucking great! :1orglaugh :thumbsup

Actually... that wouldn't be him.

He died in 1916.... and the religion has evolved considerably since those days. All JW's know that he founded the religion... but not very many know how different it was prior to the 1930's... or that Russell preached his original "the world is coming to an end" message with a date-stamp on it... 1914.

He was a quack I think... of the same order as Joseph Smith or L. Ron Hubbard - probably moreso. Lots of controversy surrounding his life - such as his statement that he translated the bible from Hebrew and Greek first-hand... and then being unable to relay a simply translation from Greek according to court transcripts.

He was one of those "Pyramid Power" peeps... and, in fact, his body is currently housed under a Pyramid tomb.

Makes for some interesting reading... and surely something to discuss with a JW the next time they swing by.

Here we go...

here's the quack:

http://i211.photobucket.com/albums/b...of_Russell.gif

I was being sarcastic :1orglaugh . Thats the cult leader from poltergeist ... that's why I brought up Russellites... makes for much better conversation with them ( if you're in the mood to argue with idiots ) then the standard. "Can you see the Virgin Mary in my yard? ... Isn't obvious what religion I think I have? " ...
.... very arrogant assholes ... but I guess I would be too if I believed I was better and more spiritually aware then everyone else on the planet.

I feel bad for both parties... the people who are brainwashed and those they try to brainwash.

you should have invited them in and played a game seeing just how long you could make them stay. It's FUN.

at first you buy into everything and they LOVE that.

then you start asking stupid questions like premartial sex, medical questions, possible scanarios and such and KEEP going with them.

they are only supposed to stay sooo long at one place so you KEEP asking questions being nice and if they say you have to leave get DESPRITE with them.

best i've ever done is an hour so far - they RUN after 30 mins usually. Sad they can't handle their own shit put back at them in a positive way.

Ahh... :)

Yeah - I thought he looked familiar. Haven't seen that movie since it first hit HBO.

Nice looking sig you have there...

Completely against the rules... But fucking nice looking :)

That's why I keep the gate locked

Get rid of your door bell and get one these doorknockers!
Problem solved.

http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f1...78/Knocker.jpg

I had a very attractive Jehova Witness woman and her daughter come to our house just after Christmas. She reminded me a bit of Jennifer Connelly. Such a shame...

Weird. The porn Mogul has never had them come to my door. Probably because they don't go near the beach...

I've got a 100 plus yard driveway with a no-trespassing sign half way up ... When someone I don't know knocks on my door I tend to be very rude.

I used to play Quake ][ really loud on the stereo when they would show up. I suppose blasting porn would have a similar effect.

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Lol. Poltergeist 2.

I was aboslutely horrified for years after seeing that. That guy was incredibly creepy and scary looking.

They also believe if you die before judgement day your soul wont be saved and it dies.. whack

Back in the early 70's on a hot hot Southern day, a college professor of mine kept getting bothered by them. Finally he asked them in for lemonade (spiked with tons of unknown vodka) and as they staggered down the street afterwards, he called up the local church and reported them as drunk and bothering him. A car screeched to a halt a bit later, grabbed them up, and he was never bothered again.

Wrong on so many levels but funny.

I need to get me that

I'm Jehovah, you didn't witness shit!

Stay away from those fanatics ...

I think I converted one to atheism once. They are just so silly.

You're mistaken.

I've studied their dogma, as I have with a few different religions, and it goes like this:

They believe that everyone that's going to heaven has to die before judgment day to go into effect. The number of peeps going to heaven - throughout all of time - is exactly 144,000. When the last one of that bunch dies - and the last of them arrives and gets their wings - that's the eternals' queue to kick off the end of the world.

In their version of "Armageddon," god kills everyone but 2 groups of peeps: 1) Jehovah's Witnesses, and 2) Those that have never had their door knocked on (innocents - like babies, eskimos, etc). Those that survive the ordeal are rewarded with immortality, and spend the next 10,000 years working with Jesus to rebuild the Earth into a paradise - after which, all those Jehovah's Witnesses and innocents that died before and during Armageddon are resurrected - literally rise from their graves - to achieve their own immortality and live with the rest of Jehovah's Witnesses in that newly-finished Paradise for ever and ever and ever... without disease, war, or any of that natural stuff that scientists made up... and never have to worry about dieing, and can wrestle with lions and shit for fun.

I guess they're not considering the overpopulation issues this whole thing would cause... among other travesties the whole situation would seem to perpetuate.

Yeah, but for you this is likely an hourly occurrence. Most of us have to get really stoned or hurt to remember our own mortality.

Each to his own. But they should not bother in people, especially when they do this too often als you say.

I totally freak out if some telemarketer calls me and steals 30sec of my valuable time. If someone rings my doorbell at Saturday morning and wakes me up I'd have to kill them.

LOLZ thats great :)