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Discuss what's fucking going on, and which programs are best and worst. One-time "program" announcements from "established" webmasters are allowed. |
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#1 |
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,720
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How to kill a laptop and make it look like an "accident"?
Any ideas? My laptop is falling apart, paid a lot for extended warranty, but these assholes only fix parts, and only replace when it is totally smoked...
For now i though of magnet on the HDD, and interrupt flash on Bios, but it is replaceable, so it gotta be something good, like short circuit the whole thing. But dunno how to do it, without blowing up breakers in the house... Heard that 2 seconds in Microwave will do the thing, but that can fuck up the microwave, and wont the screen melt??
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#2 |
Now choke yourself!
Industry Role:
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 12,085
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Yeah, they've never had people try to defraud them, before.
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#3 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 364
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take the keyboard off and sprinkle metal shavings inside while it's on. Vacuum said shavings out return for replacement.
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#4 |
in a van by the river
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 76,806
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3 little words... http://www.willitblend.com/
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#5 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: London
Posts: 1,701
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Take the keyboard off then take a shit inside and put the keyboard back over. They will not want to dig about in that dump and will just replace it.
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#6 |
Moo Moo Cow
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Washington State
Posts: 14,748
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Install Vista.
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#7 |
Confirmed User
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,720
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of course they did, but i did not pay 400 dollar warranty so they return me this peace of shit barely working
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#8 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 2,052
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Hit the internals with a stun gun. Basically, it should fry just about everything in there.
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#9 |
Doin fine
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 24,983
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#10 | |
Geo Cities
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: North Captiva Island, Florida USA
Posts: 11,832
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Quote:
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#11 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Greater Washington DC
Posts: 1,435
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try covering the fan exhaust with a towel or something for a while
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#12 |
Random Jackass
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 1,837
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Use one of those electric tennis racquet type bug zappers. The can short circuit most anything. (Latops, Desktops, Cash Registers, etc..) :>)
In other words, when killing flies in a coke, valium and tequila induced rage, do not miss the fly and hit your laptop. You will regret it (unless you wanted to ruin your laptop)! |
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#13 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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Cover all the vents / fans with masking tape so no air can escape. Load up some sort of 3D video game or other processor intensive app and let it run.
Eventually it will overheat. Might have to make sure there are no settings in the BIOS that cause it to shut down automatically if it gets too hot. If there are, you should be able to disable them so you can fry it all you want. |
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#14 | |
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Quote:
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#15 | |
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Quote:
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#16 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Toronto
Posts: 994
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as seen on TV online store sells them
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#17 |
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,720
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Paldies my torontonian fella :D
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#18 |
ICQ: 197-556-237
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: BRASIL !!!
Posts: 57,559
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I'm just a newbie. |
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#19 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Vancouver B.C.
Posts: 2,497
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2 words .... Battery Fire .. figure out a way to make it look like the battery somehow caught fire and burn the fucker from the inside out .. mayne figure out a decent way to run more voltage to the battery than it will accept and it will start smoking and if all is on your side catch fire and burn and to save your house from certain destruction you poured rockstar all over it only making things worse .... just a thought ..
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#20 |
Let slip the dogs of war.
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Bermuda
Posts: 17,263
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Maybe try not being a scammer?
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#21 |
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#22 |
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Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 7,348
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do the metal shavings AND over heat it!
record it and put it on youtube!!
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#23 |
Let slip the dogs of war.
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Bermuda
Posts: 17,263
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Well at least we all know you're a broke scammer.
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#24 |
Confirmed User
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,720
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![]() no sir, when you shave affiliates on your program is when you are a scammer
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#25 |
Let slip the dogs of war.
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Bermuda
Posts: 17,263
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No, when you scam a person or a company, in this case the warranty company, you are a scammer.
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#26 |
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Amsterdam
Posts: 6,169
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open it up and put this on it for about 2 weeks:
![]() I remember from a company that repairds computers that a banana really really fucks it all up
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#27 |
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 5,419
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#28 |
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Gamehendge
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depending on how good your coverage is, you could just do the simple method of just dropping it a few times
my brother in law had a fujitsu and the monitor was acting up after 2.5 years.. so he just dropped it, and boom... got a replacement, but i would be sure your warranty covers accidents first |
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#29 |
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Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Oakville, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 9,287
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I spilled coffee in mine today Doh
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#30 |
Moo Moo Cow
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Washington State
Posts: 14,748
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#31 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 1,558
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just duct tape up all the vents, and let your laptop melt itself
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#32 |
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Middlesbrough UK
Posts: 2,673
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Shoot it with a tech9 and sprinkle a bit of crack on it. Tell them it was gang related.
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#33 |
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Location: 20 00'24.00" N, 75 09'00.00 W
Posts: 6,882
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smash with the hammer lol ..
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#34 |
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Germany
Posts: 4,323
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Just sprinkle some water over it and make sure that is dry when you return it.
Or put it in a tight box while it's running, wrap the box shut, and leave it in the full sunlight for a whole day. Maybe put it in the microwave for a couple of minutes? The best thing to do would be to open it and burn some of the chips with a lighter. But you'll loose your warranty when you open it.
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#35 | |
Do Fun Shit.
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: OC
Posts: 13,393
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Quote:
no more lappies por la tu... ![]() ![]()
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#36 |
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#37 | |
Join The Royal Family
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 25,463
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Quote:
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#38 |
Too lazy to set a custom title
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Homeless
Posts: 62,911
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Just buy a new one. Damn.
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#39 |
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 5,650
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I think it will shut down before it get too warm.
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#40 |
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Location: Daytona Beach
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#41 |
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#42 |
Biz Dev and SEO
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 15,180
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1) try to push high voltage to the the battery, it will start smoking and will burn very soon
2) let the laptop starts melting... 3) make a video and put it on youtube or any other site with adsense... ![]()
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#43 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 269
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If you really want to, you can just power surge it. Hook it up to an unregulated power source like a car battery or something. Just use some power wiring and hit the power contact points. It should zap everything...
However, that's fraud, and fraud is bad! |
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#44 |
Doin fine
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Posts: 24,983
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#45 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 1,505
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![]() max effect 30 seconds... |
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#46 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 647
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Plug a USB Cable into it, hook jumper cables to your car battery and grab the end of the cable. Jump start that little bugger.
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#47 |
Too lazy to set a custom title
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,723
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Never buy extra warranty. Not needed, and when you need it, they fuck you over with some terms anyway
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#48 |
GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!!
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: that 504
Posts: 60,840
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let my brother use it for a week or so.
he can kill any machine within a week, it wont respond, work, boot up - nothing. ![]()
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