ShamWow Vince Vows to SlapChop Scientology - GoFuckYourself.com

ShellyCrash · 02-27-2009, 12:51 PM

"Though his name seems to suggest that he was pre-destined for late-night gadget-whoring, Vince Offer was not always an Infomercial Adonis. He began his career as a comedy writer, (and if the reviews are to be believed, an exceptionally shitty one,) whose first endeavour was authoring, directing and starring in a film called Underground Comedy Movie, a hackish sketch comedy collection that, when released, immediately Tanked like it had a wounded Healer to protect."

"See, at the time, Vince was a recent convert to Scientology (for those of you unfamiliar with group, Scientology is like a secret club where celebrity Sci-fi nerds go to suck off each other's massive egos,) and he was counting on the support of the church to back his film. The Church of Scientology, being in favor of all things horrible, of course agreed to back Vince's terrible comedy film and provided him with all the assistance he needed, like funds, and access to massive celebrities like... Slash and... Joey Buttafucco."

"But when it was far too late to turn back, they (the Church of Scientology) suddenly decided that they didn?t actually want to invest in a sub-par Kentucky Fried Movie rip-off, and promptly left Vince hanging with the bill. Now, nobody likes getting dumped - be it from a girlfriend, a job, or a made-up religion that hates free will - but if that was all that happened, Vince would?ve probably just moved on.

But no, far from content to leave it at simple neglect, the Church of Scientology actively pursued criminal charges against Vince for general tastelessness and lack of tact?in the Court of Scientology."

"So, what? It?s tacky landscaping time for another bleach-blonde attention whore, right? Not at all! This is the part where Vince's tale strays from the norm:

He?s currently using all of the proceeds from his many ventures to fund his own personal war against Scientology!"

Full Article

Has anyone else read this? I don't know if it's true or not but it sure is entertaining either way.

Just Mike · 02-27-2009, 01:49 PM

hahaha Cool so Vince will lose all the money he made with those shitty infomericals and be broke again

smart move

Mohawk Steve · 02-27-2009, 01:54 PM

JMK has a man crush on Vince Offer

Maxi Caballero · 02-27-2009, 01:57 PM

I laugh everytime he says you should see my nuts LMAO

ShellyCrash · 02-27-2009, 03:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maxi Caballero

I laugh everytime he says you should see my nuts LMAO

I do to! I don't know if I should attribute it to Vince or someone pulling his strings but good marketing move.

collegeboobies · 02-27-2009, 03:29 PM

good for him

PAR · 02-27-2009, 03:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steve PP

JMK has a man crush on Vince Offer

yep.. 1 hell of a mad man crush lol

snaker · 02-27-2009, 03:47 PM

...and if you act now, he'll throw in inner peace and contentment!

Lol lol

dav3 · 02-27-2009, 03:50 PM

Are you following me camera guy?

DrChango · 02-27-2009, 03:54 PM

Did anyone else catch the MMORPG reference?
"...Tanked like it had a wounded Healer to protect."

That's almost as bad as my mother sending me e-mails in "lolcat"

camgirlshide · 02-27-2009, 03:56 PM

my favorite is the "we can't do this all day"

crockett · 02-27-2009, 04:16 PM

hehe, I hate that guy, but it was a good article.

btw I love this line from that article..

"Regardless of his motive, you have to respect the sheer balls of a man who is attempting to tear down a faulty - but nonetheless international and extremely influential - religion armed only with the ability to slap vegetables apart into tiny cubes, and soak up unreasonable amounts of liquid with glorified carpet foam."

Angry Jew Cat - Banned for Life · 02-27-2009, 05:03 PM

I never heard that before, WTF were you thinking Vince? Scientology?

It's OK, I'm still a fan. So long as you've dropped the quack cult...

Marcus Aurelius · 02-27-2009, 05:26 PM

I heard Billy Mays Beard swallowed him up in vortex of luscious black hairy death.

PornMD · 02-27-2009, 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angry Jew Cat

I never heard that before, WTF were you thinking Vince? Scientology?

It's OK, I'm still a fan. So long as you've dropped the quack cult...

Er, he's trying to FIGHT scientology. Big waste of money unless he gets other people to join him...it's grown too powerful thanks to assclowns like TC.

PornMD · 02-27-2009, 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MDCQ

I heard Billy Mays Beard swallowed him up in vortex of luscious black hairy death.

Yea, Billy Mays doesn't like him too much - Vince essentially ripped off 2 of Mays' products and the thing he throws in the sink in the SlapChop commercial IS in fact Mays' version of it. I don't understand why it WOULD need to open up to clean, lol.

02-27-2009, 12:51 PM	#1
ShellyCrash Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Tampa Bay, FL Posts: 6,708	ShamWow Vince Vows to SlapChop Scientology "Though his name seems to suggest that he was pre-destined for late-night gadget-whoring, Vince Offer was not always an Infomercial Adonis. He began his career as a comedy writer, (and if the reviews are to be believed, an exceptionally shitty one,) whose first endeavour was authoring, directing and starring in a film called Underground Comedy Movie, a hackish sketch comedy collection that, when released, immediately Tanked like it had a wounded Healer to protect." "See, at the time, Vince was a recent convert to Scientology (for those of you unfamiliar with group, Scientology is like a secret club where celebrity Sci-fi nerds go to suck off each other's massive egos,) and he was counting on the support of the church to back his film. The Church of Scientology, being in favor of all things horrible, of course agreed to back Vince's terrible comedy film and provided him with all the assistance he needed, like funds, and access to massive celebrities like... Slash and... Joey Buttafucco." "But when it was far too late to turn back, they (the Church of Scientology) suddenly decided that they didn?t actually want to invest in a sub-par Kentucky Fried Movie rip-off, and promptly left Vince hanging with the bill. Now, nobody likes getting dumped - be it from a girlfriend, a job, or a made-up religion that hates free will - but if that was all that happened, Vince would?ve probably just moved on. But no, far from content to leave it at simple neglect, the Church of Scientology actively pursued criminal charges against Vince for general tastelessness and lack of tact?in the Court of Scientology." "So, what? It?s tacky landscaping time for another bleach-blonde attention whore, right? Not at all! This is the part where Vince's tale strays from the norm: He?s currently using all of the proceeds from his many ventures to fund his own personal war against Scientology!" Full Article Has anyone else read this? I don't know if it's true or not but it sure is entertaining either way. __________________ Start making money with the hottest hookup site! up to $55 PPS or up to 75% Revshare ICQ 196766477

02-27-2009, 01:49 PM	#2
Just Mike Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: In a land FAR FAR away Posts: 3,726	hahaha Cool so Vince will lose all the money he made with those shitty infomericals and be broke again smart move __________________ EMAIL: [email protected] / ICQ: 56205262 AWEMPIRE

02-27-2009, 01:54 PM	#3
Mohawk Steve (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: SoCal Posts: 3,222	JMK has a man crush on Vince Offer __________________ Adult FriendFinder Skype: mohawk_steve Cams.com

02-27-2009, 03:47 PM	#8
snaker Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 1,281	...and if you act now, he'll throw in inner peace and contentment! Lol lol __________________ My Best Sponsors: Naughty Revenue \| Get Score Cash \| Thick Cash

02-27-2009, 03:50 PM	#9
dav3 Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 7,348	Are you following me camera guy? __________________ Webmasters :: Juicy Ads :: ACWM :: Crak Revenue :: Money Tree

02-27-2009, 01:57 PM	#4
Maxi Caballero Registered User Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 42	I laugh everytime he says you should see my nuts LMAO

02-27-2009, 03:29 PM	#6
collegeboobies So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 3,644	good for him

02-27-2009, 03:54 PM	#10
DrChango Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: AZ Posts: 938	Did anyone else catch the MMORPG reference? "...Tanked like it had a wounded Healer to protect." That's almost as bad as my mother sending me e-mails in "lolcat" __________________ Jacob Stiver Mobile Monkey Topbucks\|Pink Visual\|Plug In Feeds E-Mail: [email protected] ICQ#: 388847435

02-27-2009, 03:56 PM	#11
camgirlshide Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 1,558	my favorite is the "we can't do this all day" __________________ Useful adult webmaster links - Alphabetical list of solo models with webcam Stats on my best converting affiliate programs - camgirlshide webmaster blog complete list of affiliate programs I use.

02-27-2009, 04:16 PM	#12
crockett in a van by the river Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 76,806	hehe, I hate that guy, but it was a good article. btw I love this line from that article.. "Regardless of his motive, you have to respect the sheer balls of a man who is attempting to tear down a faulty - but nonetheless international and extremely influential - religion armed only with the ability to slap vegetables apart into tiny cubes, and soak up unreasonable amounts of liquid with glorified carpet foam." __________________ In November, you can vote for America's next president or its first dictator. Last edited by crockett; 02-27-2009 at 04:17 PM..

02-27-2009, 05:03 PM	#13
Angry Jew Cat - Banned for Life (felis madjewicus) Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: In Mom & Dad's Basement Posts: 20,368	I never heard that before, WTF were you thinking Vince? Scientology? It's OK, I'm still a fan. So long as you've dropped the quack cult...

02-27-2009, 05:26 PM	#14
Marcus Aurelius No Refunds Issued. Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 14,809	I heard Billy Mays Beard swallowed him up in vortex of luscious black hairy death.