Marriage - GoFuckYourself.com

Juicy D. Links · 09-26-2005, 09:51 AM

Marriage

You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
"Husband Wanted"
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."

When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.

A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying."

A young son asked,
"Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."

Then there was a woman who said,
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.

Just think, if it wasn't for marriage, men would go through life thinking
they had no faults at all.

First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky. Mine's still alive."

A Woman's Prayer
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom, to understand a man , to love and to
forgive him, and for Patience, for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray
for
Strength, I'll just beat him to death.

AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A
blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find
it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto
the
bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the
husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he
taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of
rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."

The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR
stick, we'd be riding the bus ... so shut the hell up."

Makingcoin · 09-26-2005, 09:53 AM

WiredGuy · 09-26-2005, 01:03 PM

So when's the big date Juicy

WG

CIVMatt · 09-26-2005, 01:05 PM

PLEASE click on my sig, I have an x-wife to support

(You forgot that one... and no its not a joke, do it)

lol

UltraSonic · 09-26-2005, 01:08 PM

too funny

Sunny Leone · 09-26-2005, 01:13 PM

haha! Funny. So I take it you dont want to be married?

[illnet]-Tracie · 09-26-2005, 01:19 PM

Great post! One of my favorites so far...

Phoenix · 09-26-2005, 01:22 PM

http://www.gregbruns.com/images/frid...5_letstalk.wmv

sherie · 09-26-2005, 01:23 PM

LOL those are great!

Mighty Chin · 09-26-2005, 01:25 PM

I'm 2 weeks away from my final resting place. To think in after 2 weeks from now every chick I bang will be considered adultery.

seeric · 09-26-2005, 01:56 PM

hahaha. those are great. confirms why i am single

Phoenix · 09-26-2005, 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mighty Chin

I'm 2 weeks away from my final resting place. To think in after 2 weeks from now every chick I bang will be considered adultery.

same here...octovber 15th is my end game date

Just_Dave · 09-26-2005, 02:02 PM

funny stuff

EZRhino · 09-26-2005, 02:06 PM

Good stuff

HammerALL · 09-26-2005, 02:08 PM

LOL - it's funny cuz it's true

spideriux · 09-26-2005, 02:16 PM

nice post heehe

Ace-wtf · 09-26-2005, 02:17 PM

RuthB · 09-26-2005, 02:48 PM

oh, if they weren't so true they wouldn't be so funny

wildgirl · 09-26-2005, 03:04 PM

haha great post

Violetta · 09-26-2005, 04:07 PM

hahaha--- gonna send that one to my mom!

Juicy D. Links · 09-26-2005, 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WiredGuy

So when's the big date Juicy

WG

I am leaning more towards Summer 07

Spunky · 09-26-2005, 05:01 PM

Lol funny quotes..I'm happy the way things are right now..Shedevils every one of them

PixeLs · 09-26-2005, 06:10 PM

I can smell another wedding postponement here.

Nanda · 01-20-2008, 10:36 PM

Yeah..these were great...
I was married...worked my ass off to help my ex...and once he started to shoot porn in Colombia he ran off with all the money!! I filed for divorced, we agreed on a portion...and he never paid!!
Yeah...marriage sucks especially if you marry a dead beat, wife abusing, loser!!

candyflip · 01-20-2008, 10:40 PM

I have held my ground, but with a baby on the way I'm feeling the ice cracking under my feet.

I have a feeling that a cold plunge is somewhere in future, and much closer than I am comfortable with.

Nanda · 01-20-2008, 10:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by candyflip

I have held my ground, but with a baby on the way I'm feeling the ice cracking under my feet.

I have a feeling that a cold plunge is somewhere in future, and much closer than I am comfortable with.

Are u married? Did you marry her just because of the baby?

Xrated J · 01-20-2008, 10:47 PM

im single and NOT miserable

candyflip · 01-20-2008, 10:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nanda

Are u married? Did you marry her just because of the baby?

Nope and nope on both.

Juicy D. Links · 01-20-2008, 10:59 PM

who bumperooniiiiiiiiiiiiiiii my threadsssssssssssss

niceeeeeeeeeeeee

porsche · 01-20-2008, 11:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nanda

Yeah..these were great...
I was married...worked my ass off to help my ex...and once he started to shoot porn in Colombia he ran off with all the money!! I filed for divorced, we agreed on a portion...and he never paid!!
Yeah...marriage sucks especially if you marry a dead beat, wife abusing, loser!!

What a wanker!
im glad to see that men are the losers in this too!
us lady's arent all that bad, really!

CleopatraoftheNile · 01-21-2008, 02:13 AM

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is by far the funniest. Married twice, divorced twice.....single life for me and LOVING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Besides I feel sorry for any poor sucker who'd marry me

TOO MUCH WORK!!!!

hehehehehe

digifan · 01-21-2008, 05:28 AM

Great post ;)

09-26-2005, 09:51 AM	#1
Juicy D. Links So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: N.Y. -Long Island -- Posts: 122,992	Marriage Marriage You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man." A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Husband Wanted" Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him. A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying." A young son asked, "Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son." Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late." Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep. Just think, if it wasn't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. First guy says, "My wife's an angel!" Second guy remarks, "You're lucky. Mine's still alive." A Woman's Prayer Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom, to understand a man , to love and to forgive him, and for Patience, for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll just beat him to death. AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!! Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy." The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus ... so shut the hell up."

09-26-2005, 09:53 AM	#2
Makingcoin Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: The Ditch Posts: 8,919	__________________ www.MAKINGCOIN.com icq. 166-662-831 "Start making large coin!" Daddy I Get Paid To Be A Whore - Coming Soon

09-26-2005, 01:03 PM	#3
WiredGuy Pounding Googlebot Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 34,492	So when's the big date Juicy WG __________________ I play with Google.

09-26-2005, 01:05 PM	#4
CIVMatt Amateur Pimpin Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Orlando, FL Posts: 13,075	PLEASE click on my sig, I have an x-wife to support (You forgot that one... and no its not a joke, do it) lol __________________ Make easy money with Webcams

09-26-2005, 01:08 PM	#5
UltraSonic Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: UltraVirtuality Posts: 1,728	too funny __________________ Your Blend, Your Product

09-26-2005, 01:13 PM	#6
Sunny Leone Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Southern California Posts: 1,616	haha! Funny. So I take it you dont want to be married? __________________ www.sunnyleone.com www.coldhardcash.com [email protected] ICQ- 279689845

09-26-2005, 01:19 PM	#7
[illnet]-Tracie Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 231	Great post! One of my favorites so far... __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60. Let me repeat... A 120 x 60 button and no more that 3 lines of DEFAULT SIZE AND COLOR text.

09-26-2005, 01:22 PM	#8
Phoenix BACON BACON BACON Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Poems everybody, the laddie fancies himself a poet Posts: 35,469	http://www.gregbruns.com/images/frid...5_letstalk.wmv __________________ Skype Phoenixskype1 Telegram PhoenixBrad https://quantads.io

09-26-2005, 01:23 PM	#9
sherie Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 7,020	LOL those are great! __________________ AIM sherierocks ICQ 127-296-286 Skype traffichor

09-26-2005, 01:25 PM	#10
Mighty Chin Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Burnaby BC Posts: 781	I'm 2 weeks away from my final resting place. To think in after 2 weeks from now every chick I bang will be considered adultery. __________________ Do you need design work done. I am available check out my site TMC Web Designs

09-26-2005, 01:56 PM	#11
seeric .......... Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: .......... Posts: 41,917	hahaha. those are great. confirms why i am single

09-26-2005, 02:02 PM	#13
Just_Dave Its almost time Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 13,009	funny stuff

09-26-2005, 02:06 PM	#14
EZRhino Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: couch Posts: 6,258	Good stuff

09-26-2005, 02:08 PM	#15
HammerALL Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Toronto Posts: 3,506	LOL - it's funny cuz it's true __________________ Mario Amaral AKA: Hammerall Affiliate Sales \| Email:[email protected] Skype: Hammerall \| ICQ: 190272140

09-26-2005, 02:16 PM	#16
spideriux Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 17,227	nice post heehe __________________ FreeOnes

09-26-2005, 02:17 PM	#17
Ace-wtf Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: rolling for CASH Posts: 2,983	__________________ Don't miss out on the new HYPE!!! icq: 226370630

09-26-2005, 02:48 PM	#18
RuthB Let's Get Paxumized! Industry Role: Join Date: May 2005 Location: Vancouver, Canada Posts: 7,247	oh, if they weren't so true they wouldn't be so funny __________________ Send & Receive Mass Global Payments - Mass P2P/Wire/EFT/SEPA - Adult Industry Friendly - Award Winning Payment Service - Fast, Reliable & Secure! Paxum ...... Paxum Bank Email: [email protected] ~ Telegram: PaxumRuth

09-26-2005, 03:04 PM	#19
wildgirl My Sig was too Big! :( Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 2,554	haha great post __________________ My Best Money Maker:

09-26-2005, 04:07 PM	#20
Violetta Affiliate Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 28,735	hahaha--- gonna send that one to my mom! __________________ M&A Queen

09-26-2005, 05:01 PM	#22
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,949	Lol funny quotes..I'm happy the way things are right now..Shedevils every one of them __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

09-26-2005, 06:10 PM	#23
PixeLs Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 11,922	I can smell another wedding postponement here. __________________ Make money on any traffic. Bi-weekly payments with no hold.

01-20-2008, 10:36 PM	#24
Nanda Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: African Safari Posts: 5,310	Yeah..these were great... I was married...worked my ass off to help my ex...and once he started to shoot porn in Colombia he ran off with all the money!! I filed for divorced, we agreed on a portion...and he never paid!! Yeah...marriage sucks especially if you marry a dead beat, wife abusing, loser!! __________________ My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business. He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!

01-20-2008, 10:40 PM	#25
candyflip Carpe Visio Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: New York Posts: 43,066	I have held my ground, but with a baby on the way I'm feeling the ice cracking under my feet. I have a feeling that a cold plunge is somewhere in future, and much closer than I am comfortable with. __________________ Spend you some brain. Email Me

01-20-2008, 10:47 PM	#27
Xrated J Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Daytona Beach Posts: 4,347	im single and NOT miserable

01-20-2008, 10:59 PM	#29
Juicy D. Links So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: N.Y. -Long Island -- Posts: 122,992	who bumperooniiiiiiiiiiiiiiii my threadsssssssssssss niceeeeeeeeeeeee

01-21-2008, 02:13 AM	#31
CleopatraoftheNile Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 284	I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is by far the funniest. Married twice, divorced twice.....single life for me and LOVING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Besides I feel sorry for any poor sucker who'd marry me TOO MUCH WORK!!!! hehehehehe __________________ CLEOPATRA OF THE NILE ICQ: 389679974 http://www.cleosoasis.com sales, mkting, PR

01-21-2008, 05:28 AM	#32
digifan The Profiler Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: ICQ 76281726 and I'm female Posts: 14,618	Great post ;) __________________ [email protected] Webair Rocks