Marriage
 

Marriage

You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."


A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
"Husband Wanted"
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."


When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.


A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.


A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying."


A young son asked,
"Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."


Then there was a woman who said,
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.


If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.


Just think, if it wasn't for marriage, men would go through life thinking
they had no faults at all.


First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky. Mine's still alive."



A Woman's Prayer
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom, to understand a man , to love and to
forgive him, and for Patience, for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray
for
Strength, I'll just beat him to death.



AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!


Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A
blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find
it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto
the
bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the
husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he
taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of
rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."

The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR
stick, we'd be riding the bus ... so shut the hell up."

So when's the big date Juicy :)
WG

PLEASE click on my sig, I have an x-wife to support

(You forgot that one... and no its not a joke, do it)

lol

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

too funny

haha! Funny. So I take it you dont want to be married?

Great post! One of my favorites so far...

LOL those are great!

I'm 2 weeks away from my final resting place. To think in after 2 weeks from now every chick I bang will be considered adultery.

hahaha. those are great. confirms why i am single :)

same here...octovber 15th is my end game date

funny stuff :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Good stuff

LOL - it's funny cuz it's true

nice post heehe

:winkwink:

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

oh, if they weren't so true they wouldn't be so funny :1orglaugh

haha great post :thumbsup

hahaha--- gonna send that one to my mom!

I am leaning more towards Summer 07

Lol funny quotes..I'm happy the way things are right now..Shedevils every one of them

I can smell another wedding postponement here. :(

Yeah..these were great...
I was married...worked my ass off to help my ex...and once he started to shoot porn in Colombia he ran off with all the money!! I filed for divorced, we agreed on a portion...and he never paid!!
Yeah...marriage sucks especially if you marry a dead beat, wife abusing, loser!!:warning

I have held my ground, but with a baby on the way I'm feeling the ice cracking under my feet.

I have a feeling that a cold plunge is somewhere in future, and much closer than I am comfortable with.

Are u married? Did you marry her just because of the baby?:Oh crap

im single and NOT miserable

Nope and nope on both.

who bumperooniiiiiiiiiiiiiiii my threadsssssssssssss

niceeeeeeeeeeeee

What a wanker!
im glad to see that men are the losers in this too!
us lady's arent all that bad, really!

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is by far the funniest. Married twice, divorced twice.....single life for me and LOVING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Besides I feel sorry for any poor sucker who'd marry me:)

TOO MUCH WORK!!!!


hehehehehe

Great post ;)