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-   -   What the fuck - a stripper spends the night? (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=800638)

.~. 01-23-2008 07:27 PM

I am also the type of person who will buy 100 single lotto tickets the morning of a drawing of an extra large lotto JACKPOT.

Then, as I go through the day . . . I just pass them out to anybody I come across. I tell them that the jackpot is extra large tonight and I wish the good luck!

I am a sucker and I can't help it. Feel sorry for me. Don't tell me to grow a pair (even if I need to grow a pair).

For some reason I think stripper love would be EXTRA SPECIAL LOVE!!!!

Doctor Feelgood 01-23-2008 07:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by .~. (Post 13667982)
I had a stripper spend the night at my house. She doesn't live in the city in which she works (where I live), so I let her stay over.

She is HOOOOTTTTT!!!!!!

I gave her the main bedroom and I slept downstairs. She slept in her stripper outfit. HOT!

I was trying to be a gentleman, but I might have come off as half a fag. I didn't even make a move on her. I wanted to ride the crap out of her but I also really like her.

WHAT THE FUCK???

she fell asleep cause she was bored with you

Fap 01-23-2008 07:32 PM

You might be gay..

.~. 01-23-2008 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doctor Feelgood (Post 13689690)
she fell asleep cause she was bored with you


PLEASE DOCTOR . . . . I NEED YOUR HELP!

Can you prescribe something for me (other than to grow a pair)?

.~. 01-23-2008 07:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by banthis (Post 13689708)
You might be gay..

Oh jesus, I don't think so, but how can I tell?

Juicy D. Links once trapped me for a weekend in a warehouse and he only gave me a thong and some baby oil to defend myself with, while he did whatever he pleased all over me.

Is that gay?

jmcb420 01-23-2008 08:06 PM

i got it. next time she comes over, sit here down in front of you computer and show her this thread. take off all your clothes while shes reading it. Put on a clown nose and a big red wig. When she gets to this part go "HEY HEY HEY!!!" like Krusty the Clown does on the simpsons. jump on the desk and scream "its my crazy ass or the gimp bitch"

that works for me everytime i have trouble telling someone who sells their body how i feel. try it.

warlock5 01-23-2008 08:22 PM

Check for missing valuables?

http://www.claphamartgallery.com/ima...n%20canvas.jpg

.~. 01-23-2008 09:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by warlock5 (Post 13689941)


On another occasion, this same stripper asked me to watch her dog (her baby) while she worked.

She trusted me with her pet!!!! Her little doggie!!

I went out and bought a water bowl, a dog chew toy and some dog treats just so I could baby sit her dog.

Am I a big flaming fag?

Evil E 01-24-2008 12:30 AM

1) Turn in your man card

2) Following each of these subsequent steps are the only way you can recover this lost relationship.


1. When you fuck a girl, you have to loudly yell at her. Girls are usually very closed and insecure. If you yell at her, especially degrading comments, then her self-esteem will be forever undermined. These three words "You are shit" - if repeated continuously, will ensure your girl is primed to be shared around.

2. When you get tired of fucking her, hurt her. Girls secretly like the pain, this will also condition her to accepting abuse. A girl's heart is very fragile, it's very hard for a girl to recover after being hurt really bad, this will allow you to use her in any way you see fit.

3. When you two are deeply in love, surprise her by inviting your friends over for a gang bang. Tell her that if she truly loves you, she'll do this for you. Girls will be girls, and any girl wants double, triple and even quadruple penetration.

4. Boys have their egos, girls do too. Suppress this. If she's being vain in front of her friends in front of you, smack her around a bit. That will put her back in her place, and remind her that she's nothing more than your fuck-toy.

5. When she yells stop, no matter how tired she is, no matter how much she doesn't want it...she wants it. Trust me. All women are sluts. Because girls are natural stoppers, you have to be forceful with her. It's not rape if you cuddle her afterwards. Even if she's tired and doesn't like it, remind her that this makes you happy..."if you'd love me you'd pretend to enjoy it, babe."

6. Every month, girls will have a few days where they're in a bad mood or be sick. This is because they are the inferior gender. Remind her of this constantly. In those few days she's especially vulnerable, take advantage of this by degrading her and abusing her. Once again, this will ensure that when you wish to share her with your friends she will easily consent as you have destroyed all sense of her self-worth.

7. All girls need company; always take up your friends' invitations to go out and play. Keep the relationships between your girlfriend and your friends good and equal so neither one of them dies. I mean, you're not making a snuff film, here. Make sure all your mates get a chance to cum in her at least once during each gang bang.

8. Girls like to cook and do the laundry. Full-stop. When they do things like that, they're just fulfilling their biological place in society. So sometimes, you should do the cooking to show your love for her, right? No. The instant you show an ounce of weakness the bitch will get uppity and you'll have to smack her around a bit next time you suggest a DP session before she consents.

9. When a girl tells you "I'm strong, you don't need to worry about me", she's trying to trick you into going out somewhere alone! When she says things like that, take away all her privileges for a week and chain her in your basement. If you leave her alone for one minute she will call the cops on you and you will spend the next 20 years playing Balls-On-Chin with a 300 pound Samoan gangster named Tiny. Girls are 'weak', so when she's being 'strong' smack her back into line. Treat her like a baby or a child for extra mental disintegration points.

10. Always make her feel like a failure in relationships. When you do that, then it's really hard for her to change her "battered wife" mindset. She will effectively be a prisoner to you within her own mind. At all times, hurt a girl, emotionally, mentally and physically. This will make her primed to star in your latest porn venture "Banging Battered Bitches 8."

jmcb420 01-24-2008 12:55 AM

Evil E,
That was wrong on so many levels.
Im gonna print that and pin it to the wall
:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Gottis 01-24-2008 02:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WiredGuy (Post 13667988)
I think its even worse that you posted this on GFY instead of trying to go nail her, lol.
WG

you're a computer nerd dude, you aint nailing shit but seo notes to your wall

DjiXas 01-24-2008 03:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jmcb420 (Post 13689864)
i got it. next time she comes over, sit here down in front of you computer and show her this thread. take off all your clothes while shes reading it. Put on a clown nose and a big red wig. When she gets to this part go "HEY HEY HEY!!!" like Krusty the Clown does on the simpsons. jump on the desk and scream "its my crazy ass or the gimp bitch"

that works for me everytime i have trouble telling someone who sells their body how i feel. try it.

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:thumbsup

Evil E 01-24-2008 09:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jmcb420 (Post 13690593)
Evil E,
That was wrong on so many levels.
Im gonna print that and pin it to the wall
:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

That was just sarcasm, a loser posted that list on another forum and I posted here to see what people would think of it. I do have respect for girls :)

tranza 01-24-2008 09:29 AM

1- Ghey alert

2- This thread is worthless without pics

:2 cents:

.~. 01-24-2008 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tranza (Post 13691740)
1- Ghey alert

2- This thread is worthless without pics

:2 cents:



Oh dear god, please . . . . . don't let it be me who is the, "ghey"!!!!!!

I also have no pics. This stripper hates to have her picture taken.

WiredGuy 01-24-2008 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gottis (Post 13690792)
you're a computer nerd dude, you aint nailing shit but seo notes to your wall

I use a whiteboard.
WG

mrwilson 01-24-2008 04:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by .~. (Post 13693634)
I also have no pics. This stripper hates to have her picture taken.


A "stripper" that strips for many men and no doubt women, dont like to have her picture taken?

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Kimmykim 01-24-2008 04:30 PM

so many surfers on this board, how come they get to start threads?

Kimmykim 01-24-2008 04:33 PM

Oh wow, I should have read the last couple of posts along with the first few...

I can honestly say that I've now found a fool I want to fuck in the ass with a strap-on...

Is it:
A. Howard Stern
B. Rudy Guiliani
C. The Evil E nick

Start the pool now.

Iron Fist 01-24-2008 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by .~. (Post 13693634)
I also have no pics. This stripper hates to have her picture taken.

Oh the irony... :error:error:error


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