Serge_Oprano

pink_in_the_middle,
speechless part was in regard to KK's e-mail I got, it has nothing to do with this thread
;_)))

never mind, I am "talking" now
;-))

Kimmykim

Sigh, Serge I was going to mention the two of you can be alot alike but then I figured I'd have you both wanting to piss with me ;)

Serge_Oprano

naaa..you right, I pissed with Labret,
and found him a good pisser, and this si good enough for me
;-)))

fuxu

True, I live by those words. It's called 'The Jedi Bitch Trick' -- #1 way to pull hoes.

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quiet

where did everybody go?

__________________
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Serge_Oprano

everybody went to check the brain cells of their loved ones
;-)))

SleazyDream

ok, back to the point.

I hear people saying having a kid in their late teens or early 20's gives them their life back in their 40's. What I'd like to know is HOW many of these people that had kids in their teens or early 20's ACTUALLY planned to have a kid. The reality is VERY VERY FEW. There are some exceptions but they are FEW and FAR BETWEEN.
How many single moms planned to have kids - unless she's divorsed the amount of women who planned to have kids in their early 20's or late teens is also VERY VERY LOW.

So for the most part with young single mothers having kids it's unplaned pregnancy due mostly to their OWN stupidity of not taking proper precautions.

Now I can speak from some authority about single mothers. My wife is a kindergarten teacher so I'm gona talk about the kids. Kids from single mothers who are diviorsed for the most part (99%)have behavior problems. Odly if the mother is single due to the death of the father there doesn't seem to be many problems with the kids. Kids from mothers that had them out of wedlock are almost always behavior problems that come to school unprepared (90%) - the exception seems to be those kids who are being brought up by their grandparents.

It's like a red flag to teachers though if the kid has a single parent - 99% of the time it means the kid will be a problem. Once again there are RARE exceptions but they are RARE. The other thing is the young single parents always THINK they are the best parents and go around shooting their mouths off everywhere saying how good their kids are and blah blah blah. it's always someone's else's fault for everything that goes wrong cause their litle angle is perfect. If someone HAS to tell you their kids are good usually (99.99999999%) they are compensating cause the kids are total brats.

The older the parents are the better the kids seem to be adjusted to society and behaved. Money seems to play no factor in that equation either, older poor and rich parents alike have smarter, better behaved kids that come to school knowing their alaphbet, numbers, and how to write their name. The younger the parents the wilder the kids behave and the less they know about anything. Once again their are some RARE exceptions but from my wife's experience teaching many many years of school and HUNDREDS of kids I can say that if you want to have smart, well behaved kids that have the best chance of succeding in life then have your kids in your 30's or even 40's when you are married to someone that you will STAY with. I would say early 30's is optimum for having kids.

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Kimmykim

LOL Sleazydream, psychologist pornographer!!! ;-}}}

Anyone who claims their child is an angel is either a liar or has them on drugs... most children will behave in certain situations, be it church, school, grandma's house, whatever. You cannot for a moment think that negates the fit they pitch when they don't like something and you're in a public restaurant or something like that.

The younger kids are, the more likely to make a scene in public they are...

The older they get, the better they should get.

Kimmykim

Oh and no way is early 30s optimum for having kids for everyone. *I* would certainly not want to have one now.

SleazyDream

you missed the point of what was saying entirly. go re-read it.

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SleazyDream

let me re-phrase, cause I know I have to dumb it down for ya sometimes - having kids in your early thirties is optimum for the CHILDREN. My post was about the kids, not the parents. Think about that for a bit.

__________________
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Kimmykim

And you've raised how many kids?

multisexsite

I would rather have younger parents than older parents!

Gary

Well, it takes a village to raise a child, and he's probably part of a village, so...

SleazyDream

ahh, the standard comeback from the accidental single mom.
"wa wa wa, you know nothing cause I have a kid and you don't"


I have no kids yet. I will PLAN my family when I'm ready. My wife being a teacher I'm fortunate enough to see families that start at all different stages in life and I plan to choose the stage of my life when my kids will have the BEST chance of success in anything they choose to do.

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Libertine

Actually, it's bullshit.
I know I fuck on the first date, and I know most guys do. Why set different standards for women?

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SleazyDream

I agree with this. I never understood why society idolized men who are sluts and shuns slutty women. I idolize both.

I know people who screwed on the first date who got married and have been married for years now and are happy and faithful to each other.

__________________
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Kimmykim

Hahaha, nice try Sleazy. It's no accident I've been single this long. An act of providence maybe, but not an accident.

Sassyass

I had a much simpler list when I was dating;

Never date a girl that?s bigger than you
Never date a girl that is stronger than you
and never under any circumstances,
Date a girl that has more facial hair than you.

Serge_Oprano

why, why???

Because women can't work on cars:

SleazyDream

she just needs bigger tires.

__________________
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Fletch XXX

Bottom line is some girls spend more time on their back or in labor than in school.

How many under 25 girls are there in this world with 3 + kids?

Hell my grandma had 9 kids. Of course all were planned and thats all she did was raise kids.

So think about that.

almost 9 years of labor.

Shes just over 60 now so thats a good % of her life. Just carrying another motherfucker. Then decades of putting up with them afterwards!

No way.

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cherrylula

I know a young couple who started making babies by accident at age 19/20. All they did was struggle to raise the kids and tried to stay together althought they fought constantly because of all the stress involved.

Years later they split up and shortly after the mother passed away rather tragically at age 37. She had no insurance, no finances at all left for her kids. All she ever did was be a mom and raise her kids because she started too young.

Just a month after high school graduation her oldest was paying for her funeral expenses with the few bucks he'd gotten for graduation. The father was not much help as he had moved a few hours away and had another family already.

So when you have kids, make SURE you have life insurance and anything else you want your children to have, because you never know when your time is going to come and they might have to survive without you.

Serge_Oprano

thanks for sharing
;-))))

pink_in_the_middle

Sorry to say this but ,imho I don't think ANYONE who doesn't have kids should say anything about having kids.
How do you even know anything about it? Because your wife is a teacher doesn't mean shit. Teachers are just teachers. It's not the same thing as a parent. Until you've had kids you have no clue. Hear your stories,watch your 20/20 etc... live the life of someone who has kids and then talk what you know.

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Libertine

That's nothing. My grandma had 11 kids

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Fletch XXX

<img src=http://www.socalbirth.org/resource/vagina.jpg border="1">

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SleazyDream

Sad, but only the bad parents with HORRIBLE behavior problem kids ever say that. And I KNOW a LOT of kids and a LOT of parents so that statement is comming from many years experience with a lot of parents and children from a multitude of economic backgrounds. Your statement is almost a TEXTBOOK example of what a dumbass parent would say as a retort. They always think their little angles are perfect and NO ONE has as much stress or problems in their life as they do ..... get over it. When I'm ready I know EXACTLY what I'll be getting into and what's involved.

No parent of a well adjusted kid I have EVER met has ever said "you don't know cause you don't have kids", good parents usually ALWAYS agree with me about waiting till the time is right.

maybe, just maybe it's cause you jump in without THINKING that you had your kids too early in the FIRST place? hummmmmmmmm?

__________________
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cherrylula

Oh yeah well my Great-Grandmother was the oldest of 24 children.

Three sets of twins, and her mother died from a miscarraige thrown off a horse.

But that was in Spain, she was born in 1896 I believe. Times have changed (thank goodness).

SleazyDream

someone threw a fetis from a horse at her and it killed her?

__________________
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cherrylula

She was thrown off a horse while pregnant, miscarried and died from injuries. Or something like that.

Like I said, you never know when your time is going to come. Make sure your children will be taken care of if you die suddenly.

Kimmykim

Please get some spelling lessons from your wife dammit!

Serge_Oprano

kimmy, this was a hit below the belt!

you killed the fuckin' thread!
;-))))

UnseenWorld

I think Tom would like my "famous saying" about women and the guys they choose: "Show me a mentally, physically, and verbally abusive pathological liar and sociopath, and I'll show you a guy who has a date on Saturday night."

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pink_in_the_middle

No I think it's because you have no clue about life with kids!
My kids are little rug rats ,the same as any other kids.
I have a son that has A.D.H.D and his father has it also. That has nothing to do with me being a parent.

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UnseenWorld

How true. Several of us on this board remember during the last year the gal with the pregger site who was killed in an auto accident leaving 2 kids behind. She and I used to argue in chat, she defending single parenting, me against it (when women do it as a choice rather than a circumstance they can't avoid). Suddenly, she's gone and the kids don't even have ONE parent left, and nobody takes care of a kid like a parent. You can't argue otherwise. While I loved her as a person, I think her choice was pretty selfish.

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pink_in_the_middle

You may have "experience" with other kids but not your own. Thats what you need to realize. How do you even think thats the same is beyond me. Don't call me a "dumbass parent" you know nothing about me and my family. You don't even have kids and you call me a dumbass? LOL
When did I ever say that I had more stress then any other person??
Do you honestly think that when you're "ready" to have kids you'll know what to do???
Please get your shit straight "dumbass". Kids don't coem with manuals. When you have kids it's a life long learning experience.


Don't tell me that I think I've had my kids too early. I wanted each and everyone of them. Did you read that this time? LOL
Just because you're afraid or whatever your problem is don't lay your crap on me. Seriously your shit isn't my problem. It's something that you need to deal with.

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pink_in_the_middle

I think all good parents take care of this at a very early stage of their kids lives if not before.

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cherrylula

And if not, and they die suddenly, does that make them a bad parent?

And I am talking about having a trust or insurance policy so that the kid(s) will have food and clothes, decent schools, and maybe even some money for college. And even just that is a LOT of money if you ask me.

Some people don't plan on dying. Some young parents don't realize things about life and the world. And then accidents happen.

Having children is a huge responsibility. Sure most females think babies are cute, I know I do. But in today's world making sure they are provided for is more important than just all the cute fun stuff that goes with babies.

This is my opinion. Take it as you like, but its not aimed at you personally.

Speedy26

dam that was a lot of reading, where did labret go?

Fletch XXX

I had 3 college friends of mine get shot in the same night in 97.

They all were college buddies of mine ages 22, 24, and the youngest was a younger brother of one of my friend he was 19. One other friend was paralyzed.

2 of them had children left behind.

Do you think they had time to plan for that?

Dont ever think you are prepared for what life can throw at you.

Earth can deal some nasty fucking cards when it wants to.

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Kimmykim

He'll be back, he's probably installing spellcheck right now...

Serge_Oprano

hhahahaha, he probably is
;-)))

is that the bloke you taking with you on the 8th?
;-)))

UnseenWorld

I was riding with my daughter last year. Her newborn at home with daddy, and she went through a light on orange (in Las Vegas, where half the people are drunk or haven't slept in the last 38 hours!), and when I commented on the risk she was taking, she said, "I wouldn't do it if I had a baby in the car." I said, "Your baby needs a mommy even if you manage to get just yourself killed!"

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Kimmykim

Yes, haven't you noticed he's my new boyfriend? ;-}}}

SleazyDream

One again with the "YOU CAN"T KNOW CAUSE YOU HAVE NO KIDS EXCUSE" That's just a bullshit excuse used by bad parents.

ADHD is controllable, via behavior modification or medication - blaiming it is just an excuse for bad parenting. It's no different with SEVERLY mentally handicaped kids either, those with good parents are well behaved, those with shitty parents are brats. I have a lot of experience with REAL handicaped children and adults though volenteer work and I know that whenever kids act like assholes it's (99% of the time) the parents that are the idiots, not the kids.

It's the bad parents, and bad people for that matter, that offer up excuses rather than solutions. Fix the problem, no excuses necessary.


I've never said anything directly about your kids but your responses make me feel you're taking this personally. The only explaination i have for that is that I might be hitting a nerve with you.

The only reason i can see that you're soo adament about this is that I may have spoken some truth about your situation that hurt you.

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SleazyDream

I said
'Your statement is almost a TEXTBOOK example of what a dumbass parent would say"

i say that cause I've had dozens of other dumbass parents make similar statements to me.

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TheFLY

I thought you hated cattle...

Mooo...

SleazyDream

bloke?????????????????

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Kimmykim

Apparently the spell check was corrupt.