This is too funny... - GoFuckYourself.com

xxxjay · 11-07-2007, 12:07 PM

From ********...

Porn Valley- With his show taking funny hops, skips and jumps thanks to the inclusion of XXX Jay as his wacky co-host, Porno Dan's fast becoming a darling of the beer industry and carving out a unique niche in the www.KSEX.com 4pm to 6pm Monday time slot, at the same time.

Introducting Jay who's from occash.com, and a pleasantly goofy guy and not adverse to the suds, Dan asked Jay what he basically does. Jay said some bizarre thing about showing up at girls houses with cigarette lighters.
Dan, who shoots amateur-style vids, has got four new releases coming out including Porno Dan Goes to Boston.

How he didn't go to jail for that one is beyond him, Dan states. Another title is Porno Dan Goes North of the Border.

"Canadian girls are really easy," muses Jay. "They know how to rough up the suspect."

It was mentioned that TT Boy as well as Stoney Curtis shoot for Jay's company and that Jay will go to Brazil every so often to shoot.

"They got some hot ass mother???in' women there," he notes. "They've also got a lot of AIDS down there...I've had this whooping cough..."

During the course of conversation, Jay talked about how his wife left him for a door knob.

Dan and Jay's first guest of the evening was Skylar Reigns who's with Shy Love's agency, Adult Talent Managers. Also featured on the show was Alexa Benson [pictured] from Eli's agency in Florida, Alternative Modeling.

Reigns, who's 24 has been in the industry two months. Reigns mentioned something about playing checkers as a solo sport and Jay observed how that's something you tend to do in jail.

Benson, who's 19, has been in the industry a month and a half. Her reason for getting into the business is simple.

"You get to have sex and that's what I'm good at," she states. Benson's originally from Illinois somewhere in the cornfields.

"It sucks," she adds.

Jay's plausible solution was to turn the whole midwest into one gigantic titty bar. He's also a proponment of hydroponic farming and thought that skyscrapers on both coasts would be better served for farming zuchini indoors.

Reigns, who hails from Michigan, says she's also from the cornfields-part of the state.

"There's Detroit and there's the cornfields," she explains. Before she got into the business, Reigns worked in a number of jobs including a factory which turned out circuit boards.

"It was repetitive and I could daydream and fantasize," she says. Reigns described how tons of old ladies would arrive on their shifts drunk and all messed up on drugs.

Subsequently she got into fetish modeling where she would get tied up, spanked and dragged around. In real life, though, she's more aggressive.
Reigns then got some work shooting for "mom & pop" Internet sites. Now that she's in the mainstream side of the business, Reigns figures she's done 10 to 15 scenes.

Benson estiomates that she's done that many scenes as well, explaining that she had been with another agent and not doing well before she hooked up with Eli.

"Eli's the savior," she states. "It's good now."

Benson enjoys doing anal, and the deeper it goes in her ass, the better, she said. Benson tends to have more fun performing knowing that people are watching her. And she also does interracial.

For her part, Reigns describes her scenes as more vanilla, feature-oriented types of pairings. According to Reigns, she'll take control of a scene if she feels it's not progressing along with a certain energy. The cowgirl position is her favorite for clit stimulation, she adds.

Jay then got on the subject of double anals, noting that if your cock is rubbing up against another dick, you're gay.

Benson said she likes her scenes rough. She also likes to be choked but not slapped in the face.

"But don't punch me," she adds. Benson's also okay with someone spitting in her ass.

"How about snorting cum?" Jay asked her. Benson never heard of anything like that.

"I wonder if that would burn?" she wondered.

In high school, math was Benson's best subject and she sounds like she intends to go to college at some point.

Off camera, Reigns was comparing Chicago to Los Angeles.

"Chicago's about alcohol; here it's about drugs." Reigns told Dan that she'd go to bars and clubs in the city to pick up girls.

Jay was wondering if either girl had arrests or was on probation. Reigns said she got a $381 ticket for going through a red light. One of the girls asked Jay if he had ever been locked up.

"Minor crimes and misdemeanors, 10 to 12 times," he answered. "Felonies twice and probation violations three times."

Jay then described how a cop stopped him after he had a bottle of Jack and a case of beer. Asked to perform a sobriety test, Jay told the cop he couldn't do it sober. The cop assumed by that comment he was drunk.

"I spent the night at the Wilcom Motel," Jay laughed.

Jay also wondered if Benson would ??? any guy as long as he didn't have an STD. She didn't see a problem in any of that.

Personally, Reigns said she was attracted to men who had teeth.

"You have remarkably low standards," Jay observed. Earlier, Jay described one of Porn Dan's shoots in New Jersey as involving six women with a total of three teeth.

On and off camera, Benson figures she's had sex with 50 guys so far and swears she's never had sex with Eli.

On the other hand, Reigns wishes that Shy Love would road test her.

"She'd be scary in bed," notes Reigns. According to Reigns she's perhaps had eight men off camera, atrributing her low total to the fact that she's had long term relationships.

"I had sex with one person in high school," she adds. "I was on the honor role. I was a nerd."

Asked the craziest place she's had sex, Benson could recall a time on a picnic table in the middle of nowhere. Jay wondered if she ever got loaded and ???ed a scarecrow. Benson said no. And she's never had sex with a piece of corn, either, answering another pointless question.

"How about asparagus?" Jay then wanted to knpw.

"You have a vegetable fetish?" Benson asked him.

"I'm married to a very beautiful watermelon," Jay replied and asked Benson how she felt about croutons.

On another occasion, Benson talked about how she had sex with two other men and a woman on a beer pong table in front of an audience. She was 18 at the time and at a friend's house.

Benson then asked Dan if he were gay.

"I'm straight for pay," was Dan's answer.

According to Benson, the biggest cock she's had so far belongs to Mark Wood and her ideal scene would cast her having a lot of guys and a lot of anal sex. She has such a shoot lined up in a couple of days with Redlight District.

By what Reigns had said earlier about doing feature stuff, Jay assumed that she wasn't up for doing Meatholes. And Benson wasn't sure who Khan Tusion was, either.

"Khan is the ???ing devil himself on camera," Jay explained. "Off camera he's a nice guy."

Dan finished out the show by having Reigns and Benson compete against one another in naked tic-tac-toe; rocks, papers, scissors; Simon Sez and Truth Or Dare.

"These games are hard when you're naked," Reigns comments.

As she took off her clothes, Reigns talked about her compass tattoo.

"That's in case I lose my head," she comments. Reigns also joked about having a steel plate in her head.

During the Truth Or Dare segment, Jay wanted to know if either of the women ever had scurvy.

xxxjay · 11-07-2007, 12:32 PM

bump..............

seeric · 11-07-2007, 12:50 PM

indoor zucchinis?

ROFLLLL

TheLegacy · 11-07-2007, 12:51 PM

Good read

Mohawk Steve · 11-07-2007, 12:52 PM

I caught about 45 minutes of it, and it was some good shit. Is there and archive available anywhere online of it?

xxxjay · 11-07-2007, 12:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheLegacy

Good read

Yeah...that guy is actually a really good writer.

xxxjay · 11-07-2007, 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steve PP

I caught about 45 minutes of it, and it was some good shit. Is there and archive available anywhere online of it?

Yeah...I am going to get a DVDs. I guess we are doing that every monday from now on.

D · 11-07-2007, 01:02 PM

lollllllllllll

"darling of the beer industry"... ??

11-07-2007, 12:07 PM	#1
xxxjay Tube groupie. Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: LoScandalous, CA Posts: 13,482	This is too funny... From ********... Porn Valley- With his show taking funny hops, skips and jumps thanks to the inclusion of XXX Jay as his wacky co-host, Porno Dan's fast becoming a darling of the beer industry and carving out a unique niche in the www.KSEX.com 4pm to 6pm Monday time slot, at the same time. Introducting Jay who's from occash.com, and a pleasantly goofy guy and not adverse to the suds, Dan asked Jay what he basically does. Jay said some bizarre thing about showing up at girls houses with cigarette lighters. Dan, who shoots amateur-style vids, has got four new releases coming out including Porno Dan Goes to Boston. How he didn't go to jail for that one is beyond him, Dan states. Another title is Porno Dan Goes North of the Border. "Canadian girls are really easy," muses Jay. "They know how to rough up the suspect." It was mentioned that TT Boy as well as Stoney Curtis shoot for Jay's company and that Jay will go to Brazil every so often to shoot. "They got some hot ass mother???in' women there," he notes. "They've also got a lot of AIDS down there...I've had this whooping cough..." During the course of conversation, Jay talked about how his wife left him for a door knob. Dan and Jay's first guest of the evening was Skylar Reigns who's with Shy Love's agency, Adult Talent Managers. Also featured on the show was Alexa Benson [pictured] from Eli's agency in Florida, Alternative Modeling. Reigns, who's 24 has been in the industry two months. Reigns mentioned something about playing checkers as a solo sport and Jay observed how that's something you tend to do in jail. Benson, who's 19, has been in the industry a month and a half. Her reason for getting into the business is simple. "You get to have sex and that's what I'm good at," she states. Benson's originally from Illinois somewhere in the cornfields. "It sucks," she adds. Jay's plausible solution was to turn the whole midwest into one gigantic titty bar. He's also a proponment of hydroponic farming and thought that skyscrapers on both coasts would be better served for farming zuchini indoors. Reigns, who hails from Michigan, says she's also from the cornfields-part of the state. "There's Detroit and there's the cornfields," she explains. Before she got into the business, Reigns worked in a number of jobs including a factory which turned out circuit boards. "It was repetitive and I could daydream and fantasize," she says. Reigns described how tons of old ladies would arrive on their shifts drunk and all messed up on drugs. Subsequently she got into fetish modeling where she would get tied up, spanked and dragged around. In real life, though, she's more aggressive. Reigns then got some work shooting for "mom & pop" Internet sites. Now that she's in the mainstream side of the business, Reigns figures she's done 10 to 15 scenes. Benson estiomates that she's done that many scenes as well, explaining that she had been with another agent and not doing well before she hooked up with Eli. "Eli's the savior," she states. "It's good now." Benson enjoys doing anal, and the deeper it goes in her ass, the better, she said. Benson tends to have more fun performing knowing that people are watching her. And she also does interracial. For her part, Reigns describes her scenes as more vanilla, feature-oriented types of pairings. According to Reigns, she'll take control of a scene if she feels it's not progressing along with a certain energy. The cowgirl position is her favorite for clit stimulation, she adds. Jay then got on the subject of double anals, noting that if your cock is rubbing up against another dick, you're gay. Benson said she likes her scenes rough. She also likes to be choked but not slapped in the face. "But don't punch me," she adds. Benson's also okay with someone spitting in her ass. "How about snorting cum?" Jay asked her. Benson never heard of anything like that. "I wonder if that would burn?" she wondered. In high school, math was Benson's best subject and she sounds like she intends to go to college at some point. Off camera, Reigns was comparing Chicago to Los Angeles. "Chicago's about alcohol; here it's about drugs." Reigns told Dan that she'd go to bars and clubs in the city to pick up girls. Jay was wondering if either girl had arrests or was on probation. Reigns said she got a $381 ticket for going through a red light. One of the girls asked Jay if he had ever been locked up. "Minor crimes and misdemeanors, 10 to 12 times," he answered. "Felonies twice and probation violations three times." Jay then described how a cop stopped him after he had a bottle of Jack and a case of beer. Asked to perform a sobriety test, Jay told the cop he couldn't do it sober. The cop assumed by that comment he was drunk. "I spent the night at the Wilcom Motel," Jay laughed. Jay also wondered if Benson would ??? any guy as long as he didn't have an STD. She didn't see a problem in any of that. Personally, Reigns said she was attracted to men who had teeth. "You have remarkably low standards," Jay observed. Earlier, Jay described one of Porn Dan's shoots in New Jersey as involving six women with a total of three teeth. On and off camera, Benson figures she's had sex with 50 guys so far and swears she's never had sex with Eli. On the other hand, Reigns wishes that Shy Love would road test her. "She'd be scary in bed," notes Reigns. According to Reigns she's perhaps had eight men off camera, atrributing her low total to the fact that she's had long term relationships. "I had sex with one person in high school," she adds. "I was on the honor role. I was a nerd." Asked the craziest place she's had sex, Benson could recall a time on a picnic table in the middle of nowhere. Jay wondered if she ever got loaded and ???ed a scarecrow. Benson said no. And she's never had sex with a piece of corn, either, answering another pointless question. "How about asparagus?" Jay then wanted to knpw. "You have a vegetable fetish?" Benson asked him. "I'm married to a very beautiful watermelon," Jay replied and asked Benson how she felt about croutons. On another occasion, Benson talked about how she had sex with two other men and a woman on a beer pong table in front of an audience. She was 18 at the time and at a friend's house. Benson then asked Dan if he were gay. "I'm straight for pay," was Dan's answer. According to Benson, the biggest cock she's had so far belongs to Mark Wood and her ideal scene would cast her having a lot of guys and a lot of anal sex. She has such a shoot lined up in a couple of days with Redlight District. By what Reigns had said earlier about doing feature stuff, Jay assumed that she wasn't up for doing Meatholes. And Benson wasn't sure who Khan Tusion was, either. "Khan is the ???ing devil himself on camera," Jay explained. "Off camera he's a nice guy." Dan finished out the show by having Reigns and Benson compete against one another in naked tic-tac-toe; rocks, papers, scissors; Simon Sez and Truth Or Dare. "These games are hard when you're naked," Reigns comments. As she took off her clothes, Reigns talked about her compass tattoo. "That's in case I lose my head," she comments. Reigns also joked about having a steel plate in her head. During the Truth Or Dare segment, Jay wanted to know if either of the women ever had scurvy. __________________ http://donttellmehowtoruinmylife.com/ - http://www.jmdigitalmarketing.com/my...s-and-reviews/ - http://www.wouldyouhitit.org - http://shinyobjectreviews.com/

11-07-2007, 12:32 PM	#2
xxxjay Tube groupie. Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: LoScandalous, CA Posts: 13,482	bump.............. __________________ http://donttellmehowtoruinmylife.com/ - http://www.jmdigitalmarketing.com/my...s-and-reviews/ - http://www.wouldyouhitit.org - http://shinyobjectreviews.com/

11-07-2007, 12:51 PM	#4
TheLegacy SEO Connoisseur Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Brantford, Ontario Posts: 17,088	Good read __________________ SEO Connoisseur Microsoft Teams: Robert Warren SEO Telegram: @TheLegacy54 RobertWarrenSEO.com

11-07-2007, 12:52 PM	#5
Mohawk Steve (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: SoCal Posts: 3,222	I caught about 45 minutes of it, and it was some good shit. Is there and archive available anywhere online of it? __________________ Adult FriendFinder Skype: mohawk_steve Cams.com

11-07-2007, 01:02 PM	#8
D Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: The Valley Posts: 7,412	lollllllllllll "darling of the beer industry"... ?? __________________ -D. ICQ: 202-96-31

11-07-2007, 12:50 PM	#3
seeric .......... Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: .......... Posts: 41,917	indoor zucchinis? ROFLLLL