Mountain Dew? Users May Go On To Use HARDER Beverages... - GoFuckYourself.com

Voodoo · 09-19-2007, 04:26 PM

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28538

"While the risks associated with use of this extreme soda are lower than those of other, even more caffeinated substances, the decision to become a Mountain Dew user sends a young person down a dangerous path. It is the first step on the journey to hardcore beverage use."

...

"According to UCLA Medical Center addiction specialist Dr. Audra Hurst, Mountain Dew is a "gateway beverage," one that serves as a bridge between safe drinks like orange juice and milk and dangerous substances like black tea and "Water Joe," the street name for a powerful strain of chemically enhanced caffeinated water."

"Regular Mountain Dew use sets the stage for far more serious things," said Lenora Nunez, president of Think Before You Drink, a New York-based soft-drink-industry watchdog group. "You get hooked on it and, suddenly, walking into a Starbucks and ordering a double mochaccino with 144 mg of caffeine or slugging down a carton of Strawberry Quik at 90 grams of sugar a pop doesn't seem like the taboo it once was."

...

It's a gateway soda people. If you start to "Do The Dew"... Seek help. There are support groups, and online help if you are in need of urgent help.

Don't Do The Dew!
-V

$5 submissions · 09-19-2007, 04:27 PM

LMFAO! The Onion rocks!

FRAUD · 09-19-2007, 04:30 PM

i just stole a case at the store to test this theory.

D · 09-19-2007, 04:32 PM

I might need an intervention.

Voodoo · 09-19-2007, 04:33 PM

In other news... Domestic violence in America is no longer a problem. Researchers are finding that more and more women are victims of clumsiness, faulty staircases and bumping into doors.

Silvercash Tess · 09-19-2007, 04:44 PM

What can't you get addicted to in the world today?

GrouchyAdmin · 09-19-2007, 04:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Silvercash Tess

What can't you get addicted to in the world today?

Intelligence.

Kevsh · 09-19-2007, 04:47 PM

I Do the Dew because it doesn't have aspartame like almost every other soda - I still do not touch coffee or energy drinks, so I guess I'm in the minority

Deej · 09-19-2007, 04:51 PM

Im addicted to Yellow #5

Silvercash Tess · 09-19-2007, 04:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GrouchyAdmin

Intelligence.

True and stupid people do not realize they are stupid.

D · 09-19-2007, 05:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Silvercash Tess

True and stupid people do not realize they are stupid.

Some of us do.

RyuLion · 09-19-2007, 05:38 PM

Shitt!

I'm more Doomed than I thought..

TG Rebecca · 09-19-2007, 05:42 PM

i love my mountain dew.. mmm..

GrouchyAdmin · 09-19-2007, 06:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Silvercash Tess

True and stupid people do not realize they are stupid.

That would be a sign of intelligence, or at least, comprehension and understanding one's lot in life.

How nice that many are saved from the fate of knowing who they are. ;)

After Shock Media · 09-19-2007, 06:19 PM

Knowing the history of the "dew" it was first a mixer anyways

and not meant to be drank alone.

GrouchyAdmin · 09-19-2007, 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by After Shock Media

Knowing the history of the "dew" it was first a mixer anyways

and not meant to be drank alone.

The freakiest part is that there's ORANGE JUICE somewhere in there. It's gotta be a conspiracy.

starpimps · 09-19-2007, 06:31 PM

i went from mountain dew to doing crack

damn it, i will never do the dew again
haha

Spunky · 09-19-2007, 07:14 PM

I went from the dew to jolt cola

Silvercash Tess · 09-20-2007, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GrouchyAdmin

That would be a sign of intelligence, or at least, comprehension and understanding one's lot in life.

How nice that many are saved from the fate of knowing who they are. ;)

hahaha yeah

Angie77 · 09-20-2007, 10:52 AM

ewwww strawberry quik really has that much sugar in it??

09-19-2007, 04:26 PM	#1
Voodoo ♥ ♦ ♣ ♠ Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 10,592	Mountain Dew? Users May Go On To Use HARDER Beverages... http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28538 "While the risks associated with use of this extreme soda are lower than those of other, even more caffeinated substances, the decision to become a Mountain Dew user sends a young person down a dangerous path. It is the first step on the journey to hardcore beverage use." ... "According to UCLA Medical Center addiction specialist Dr. Audra Hurst, Mountain Dew is a "gateway beverage," one that serves as a bridge between safe drinks like orange juice and milk and dangerous substances like black tea and "Water Joe," the street name for a powerful strain of chemically enhanced caffeinated water." "Regular Mountain Dew use sets the stage for far more serious things," said Lenora Nunez, president of Think Before You Drink, a New York-based soft-drink-industry watchdog group. "You get hooked on it and, suddenly, walking into a Starbucks and ordering a double mochaccino with 144 mg of caffeine or slugging down a carton of Strawberry Quik at 90 grams of sugar a pop doesn't seem like the taboo it once was." ... It's a gateway soda people. If you start to "Do The Dew"... Seek help. There are support groups, and online help if you are in need of urgent help. Don't Do The Dew! -V __________________ "I'm selflessly supporting the common good, but only coincidentally looking out for No.1."

09-19-2007, 04:27 PM	#2
$5 submissions I help you SUCCEED Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The Pearl of the Orient Seas Posts: 32,195	LMFAO! The Onion rocks! __________________ Need a NON-ADULT income stream? We build your YOUTUBE CHANNEL for only $20 per video! For Hire: $3/hour or $400 per month Marketing Specialist Virtual Assistants

09-19-2007, 04:32 PM	#4
D Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: The Valley Posts: 7,412	I might need an intervention. __________________ -D. ICQ: 202-96-31

09-19-2007, 04:44 PM	#6
Silvercash Tess Registered User Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: 951 Posts: 53	What can't you get addicted to in the world today? __________________ [email protected] ICQ: 425351448

09-19-2007, 04:51 PM	#9
Deej I make pixels work Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: I live here... Posts: 24,386	Im addicted to Yellow #5 __________________ Deej's Designs n' What Not Hit me up for Design, CSS & Photo Retouching Icq#30096880

09-19-2007, 04:30 PM	#3
FRAUD Registered User Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 34	i just stole a case at the store to test this theory.

09-19-2007, 04:33 PM	#5
Voodoo ♥ ♦ ♣ ♠ Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 10,592	In other news... Domestic violence in America is no longer a problem. Researchers are finding that more and more women are victims of clumsiness, faulty staircases and bumping into doors. __________________ "I'm selflessly supporting the common good, but only coincidentally looking out for No.1."

09-19-2007, 04:47 PM	#8
Kevsh Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: TO Posts: 8,619	I Do the Dew because it doesn't have aspartame like almost every other soda - I still do not touch coffee or energy drinks, so I guess I'm in the minority

09-19-2007, 05:38 PM	#12
RyuLion ClubDomCash.com Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: San Diego Posts: 32,277	Shitt! I'm more Doomed than I thought.. __________________ Adult Biz Consultant A tech head since 1995

09-19-2007, 05:42 PM	#13
TG Rebecca Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 2,450	i love my mountain dew.. mmm.. __________________ ICQ: 263-993 \| AIM: TG Rep Rebecca Email: [email protected]

09-19-2007, 06:19 PM	#15
After Shock Media It's coming look busy Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn". Posts: 35,299	Knowing the history of the "dew" it was first a mixer anyways and not meant to be drank alone. __________________ [email protected] ICQ:135982156 AIM: Aftershockmed1a MSN: [email protected]

09-19-2007, 06:31 PM	#17
starpimps Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: internets Posts: 6,954	i went from mountain dew to doing crack damn it, i will never do the dew again haha __________________ Teen Porn Models / Solo Girls

09-19-2007, 07:14 PM	#18
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,949	I went from the dew to jolt cola __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

09-20-2007, 10:52 AM	#20
Angie77 Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Netherlands Posts: 1,356	ewwww strawberry quik really has that much sugar in it?? __________________ Best Conversions, Highest Payouts in the industry, Dedicated affiliate support: What more could you ask for? Sign up Today!