Mountain Dew? Users May Go On To Use HARDER Beverages...
 

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http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28538

"While the risks associated with use of this extreme soda are lower than those of other, even more caffeinated substances, the decision to become a Mountain Dew user sends a young person down a dangerous path. It is the first step on the journey to hardcore beverage use."

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"According to UCLA Medical Center addiction specialist Dr. Audra Hurst, Mountain Dew is a "gateway beverage," one that serves as a bridge between safe drinks like orange juice and milk and dangerous substances like black tea and "Water Joe," the street name for a powerful strain of chemically enhanced caffeinated water."


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"Regular Mountain Dew use sets the stage for far more serious things," said Lenora Nunez, president of Think Before You Drink, a New York-based soft-drink-industry watchdog group. "You get hooked on it and, suddenly, walking into a Starbucks and ordering a double mochaccino with 144 mg of caffeine or slugging down a carton of Strawberry Quik at 90 grams of sugar a pop doesn't seem like the taboo it once was."




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It's a gateway soda people. If you start to "Do The Dew"... Seek help. There are support groups, and online help if you are in need of urgent help.

Don't Do The Dew!
-V

LMFAO! The Onion rocks!

i just stole a case at the store to test this theory.

I might need an intervention.

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In other news... Domestic violence in America is no longer a problem. Researchers are finding that more and more women are victims of clumsiness, faulty staircases and bumping into doors.

What can't you get addicted to in the world today?

Intelligence.

I Do the Dew because it doesn't have aspartame like almost every other soda - I still do not touch coffee or energy drinks, so I guess I'm in the minority
:)

Im addicted to Yellow #5 :Oh crap

True and stupid people do not realize they are stupid.

Some of us do. :winkwink:

Shitt! :Oh crap I'm more Doomed than I thought..:Oh crap

i love my mountain dew.. mmm.. :)

That would be a sign of intelligence, or at least, comprehension and understanding one's lot in life.

How nice that many are saved from the fate of knowing who they are. ;)

Knowing the history of the "dew" it was first a mixer anyways :winkwink: and not meant to be drank alone.

The freakiest part is that there's ORANGE JUICE somewhere in there. It's gotta be a conspiracy.

i went from mountain dew to doing crack

damn it, i will never do the dew again
haha

I went from the dew to jolt cola :(

hahaha yeah:)

ewwww strawberry quik really has that much sugar in it??