Lesson in daily management (FUNNY) - GoFuckYourself.com

KRosh · 08-19-2007, 01:59 AM

Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office,
but she belonged to someone else...

One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to
her and said, "I'll give you a $100 if you let me
screw you. But the girl said NO.

Johnny said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on
the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the
time you pick it up. "

She thought for a moment and said that she would have
to consult her boyfriend... So she called her
boyfriend and told him the story.

Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for $200, pick up the
money very fast, he won't even be able to get his
pants down."

So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour
goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his
girlfriend to call.

Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and
asks what happened.

She responded, "The bastard used coins!"

Management lesson:

Always consider a business proposal in its entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed!

baddog · 08-19-2007, 02:02 AM

good one

Vick! · 08-19-2007, 03:18 AM

lolz great ..

Farang · 08-19-2007, 03:23 AM

that's great

DVTimes · 08-19-2007, 03:27 AM

thats is very good.

CurrentlySober · 08-19-2007, 06:20 AM

Haa Haaa ! Kewl

Andiz · 08-19-2007, 06:43 AM

I like that a lot.....

Violetta · 08-19-2007, 09:55 AM

hahaha... great!!

ffmihai · 08-19-2007, 09:59 AM

not bad haha!

RayBonga · 08-19-2007, 10:16 AM

Some more:

Quote:

man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over
which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up,
quickly
wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the
door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that
towel
that you have on."

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands
naked
in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her 800 dollars and
leaves. Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman
wraps
back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower,
"Who was that?"

"It was Bob, the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the $800 he
owes me?"

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to
credit and risk in time with your shareholders, you may be in a
position
to prevent avoidable exposure.

Quote:

A sales rep, an administration clerk and the manager are walking to
lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie
comes
out in a puff of smoke.

The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give
each of
you just one."

"Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk. "I want to be in the
Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Pouf!
She's
gone.

In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to
be
in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an
endless
supply of pina coladas and the love of my life." Pouf! He's gone.
"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I
want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

Quote:

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit
saw
the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all
day
long?"

The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground
below the crow, and
rested. All of a sudden a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and
ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be
sitting
very, very high up.

Quote:

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the
turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the
bull.

"They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave
him
enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next
day,
after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the
top of
the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey
out
of the tree.

Moral of the story: BS may get you to the top, but it
won't keep you there.

martinsc · 08-19-2007, 10:31 AM

webair · 08-19-2007, 10:52 AM

Thats Funny!

Doctor Dre · 08-19-2007, 11:25 AM

This is great, got anymore of theses ?

u-Bob · 08-19-2007, 01:50 PM

we want more

KILL_FRENZY · 08-19-2007, 02:25 PM

great one

tranza · 08-19-2007, 02:38 PM

That´s good!

javok · 08-19-2007, 02:59 PM

cool shit

Rhesus · 08-19-2007, 04:18 PM

A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road, he stopped and offered her a lift which she gladly accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father, remember psalm 129?" The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to remove his hand. However, he was unable to remove his eyes from her leg. Further on, while changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember psalm 129?" Once again the priest apologized. "Sorry sister, but the mind is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun got out, gave him a meaningful glance and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and looked up psalm 129. It Said, "Go forth and seek; further up, you will find glory."

MORAL OF THE STORY: Always be well informed in your job; or, you might miss great opportunities!

Rhesus · 08-19-2007, 04:19 PM

Usually the junior executives and staff of the company generally play football; the middle level managers are more interested in tennis
and the top management usually has a preference for Golf.

MORAL OF THE STORY: As you go up the corporate ladder, the balls reduce in size.

Rhesus · 08-19-2007, 04:20 PM

A young executive was leaving the office at 6 PM when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly, Sir" said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. "Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."

MORAL OF THE STORY- Never, never assume that your BOSS knows everything.

Rhesus · 08-19-2007, 04:21 PM

There were these 4 guys, Russian President Putin, Germany's Chancellor Kohl, America's Dictator Bush and French Premiere Chirac who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appears. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, he said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will come true." The French Premiere Chirac wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool. Next is the Russian President Putin turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka. The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with his beer pool. The last is American's Randy. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, "SHIT!!!!!!!........."

MORAL OF THE STORY: Mind your language, you never know what it will land you in.

Rhesus · 08-19-2007, 04:22 PM

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the
pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Moral of the story:
1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

jonesonyou · 08-19-2007, 04:25 PM

All of those are great lessons.

gornyhuy · 08-19-2007, 05:07 PM

This thread rawks! Thanks...

KRosh · 08-21-2007, 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gornyhuy

This thread rawks! Thanks...

I am glad you like it

carol.prime · 08-21-2007, 12:16 PM

thanks for the lesson you have shared, i learned a lot!. lol

ADL Josh · 08-21-2007, 12:32 PM

haha, nice one!

Clark Miller · 08-21-2007, 12:34 PM

The old coins on the floor trick... works every time!

hollinator · 08-21-2007, 12:42 PM

This was a nice little mid-day read! Thanks!!!

VeriSexy · 08-21-2007, 05:04 PM

lol funny one

Brother Bilo · 08-21-2007, 05:12 PM

Some of these are pretty good. The one about the shredder is the best, almost the exact same thing has happened to me

shekinah · 08-21-2007, 05:22 PM

lol.. I'm loving this thread!

08-19-2007, 01:59 AM	#1
KRosh So Fucking Outlawed Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 5,114	Lesson in daily management (FUNNY) Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office, but she belonged to someone else... One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, "I'll give you a $100 if you let me screw you. But the girl said NO. Johnny said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up. " She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend... So she called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for $200, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down." So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and asks what happened. She responded, "The bastard used coins!" Management lesson: Always consider a business proposal in its entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed! __________________ ICQ 115433750

08-19-2007, 03:23 AM	#4
Farang one sick puppy Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Where the worst of the West meets the worst of the East Posts: 11,560	that's great __________________ i sale uncensored chatbots

08-19-2007, 03:27 AM	#5
DVTimes xxx Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: UK Posts: 31,544	thats is very good. __________________ The Affiliate Program

08-19-2007, 06:20 AM	#6
CurrentlySober Too lazy to wipe my ass Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: A Public Bathroom Posts: 38,640	Haa Haaa ! Kewl __________________ My AI Handywork... My Dream Gal... XXX 👁️ 👍️ 💩

08-19-2007, 09:55 AM	#8
Violetta Affiliate Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 28,735	hahaha... great!! __________________ M&A Queen

08-19-2007, 02:02 AM	#2
baddog So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: the beach, SoCal Posts: 107,089	good one

08-19-2007, 03:18 AM	#3
Vick! Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: 20 00'24.00" N, 75 09'00.00 W Posts: 6,882	lolz great ..

08-19-2007, 06:43 AM	#7
Andiz Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 2,594	I like that a lot.....

08-19-2007, 09:59 AM	#9
ffmihai keep walking... Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 7,177	not bad haha! __________________

08-19-2007, 10:31 AM	#11
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08-19-2007, 10:52 AM	#12
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08-19-2007, 01:50 PM	#14
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08-19-2007, 02:25 PM	#15
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08-19-2007, 02:38 PM	#16
tranza ICQ: 197-556-237 Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: BRASIL !!! Posts: 57,559	That´s good! __________________ I'm just a newbie.

08-19-2007, 02:59 PM	#17
javok Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Montevideo, Uruguay Posts: 707	cool shit

08-19-2007, 04:18 PM	#18
Rhesus Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 2,009	A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road, he stopped and offered her a lift which she gladly accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father, remember psalm 129?" The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to remove his hand. However, he was unable to remove his eyes from her leg. Further on, while changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember psalm 129?" Once again the priest apologized. "Sorry sister, but the mind is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun got out, gave him a meaningful glance and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and looked up psalm 129. It Said, "Go forth and seek; further up, you will find glory." MORAL OF THE STORY: Always be well informed in your job; or, you might miss great opportunities!

08-19-2007, 04:19 PM	#19
Rhesus Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 2,009	Usually the junior executives and staff of the company generally play football; the middle level managers are more interested in tennis and the top management usually has a preference for Golf. MORAL OF THE STORY: As you go up the corporate ladder, the balls reduce in size.

08-19-2007, 04:20 PM	#20
Rhesus Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 2,009	A young executive was leaving the office at 6 PM when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly, Sir" said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. "Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy." MORAL OF THE STORY- Never, never assume that your BOSS knows everything.

08-19-2007, 04:21 PM	#21
Rhesus Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 2,009	There were these 4 guys, Russian President Putin, Germany's Chancellor Kohl, America's Dictator Bush and French Premiere Chirac who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appears. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, he said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will come true." The French Premiere Chirac wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool. Next is the Russian President Putin turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka. The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with his beer pool. The last is American's Randy. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, "SHIT!!!!!!!........." MORAL OF THE STORY: Mind your language, you never know what it will land you in.

08-19-2007, 04:22 PM	#22
Rhesus Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 2,009	A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him. Moral of the story: 1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy. 2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. 3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

08-19-2007, 04:25 PM	#23
jonesonyou Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Lincoln, NE Posts: 3,853	All of those are great lessons. __________________ Completely Real Amateur girls doing awesome things! Signup to promote Nebraskacoeds Today! Hit me up on ICQ/AIM 473324556/jasonnecoeds for exclusive content to promote with! And any ?'s

08-19-2007, 05:07 PM	#24
gornyhuy Chafed. Join Date: May 2002 Location: Face Down in Pussy Posts: 18,041	This thread rawks! Thanks... __________________ icq:159548293

08-21-2007, 12:16 PM	#26
carol.prime Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Manila, Philippines Posts: 6,960	thanks for the lesson you have shared, i learned a lot!. lol __________________ Prime Outsourcing \| offshore staffing solutions \| manual labor \| employee leasing \| full time employees starting at $695.00/month = managed and dedicated icq.: 309570461 live chat

08-21-2007, 12:32 PM	#27
ADL Josh Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 3,026	haha, nice one! __________________ ICQ: 395-433-632

08-21-2007, 12:34 PM	#28
Clark Miller Registered User Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: http://www.nebraskacoeds.com Posts: 365	The old coins on the floor trick... works every time!

08-21-2007, 12:42 PM	#29
hollinator Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: SoCal Posts: 391	This was a nice little mid-day read! Thanks!!! __________________ http://www.vivid.com http://www.vividcash.com

08-21-2007, 05:04 PM	#30
VeriSexy Join The Royal Family Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 25,463	lol funny one __________________ Looking for a KICK ASS TEEN SPONSOR? Check out ROYAL CASH - THE KING OF TEEN! Incredible webmaster tools FHGs, Morphing Blog and RSS Feeds, Embedded FLV & WMV Videos. With TOP RATIO Sites like TeenStarsOnly.com - Earn $$ with our New Site & Bonus Payouts!! ATMovs.com \| iTeenVideo.com \| TeenSexMovs.com \| TeenSexMania.com

08-21-2007, 05:12 PM	#31
Brother Bilo Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: I live in cage Posts: 4,193	Some of these are pretty good. The one about the shredder is the best, almost the exact same thing has happened to me __________________

08-21-2007, 05:22 PM	#32
shekinah Confirmed User Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 8,452	lol.. I'm loving this thread! __________________ [Web Design \| Development \| Programming \| Content Writing ] ICQ: 238-890-469