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-   -   Best "colon cleanse" product you have used? (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=760994)

will76 08-16-2007 02:17 PM

Seriously. Lots of Olive Oil. No need to go buy something from the store. If you want to guarantee success, lots of olive oil and eat some hot wings. 100% will do the job.

Big Red Machine 08-16-2007 04:30 PM

has anyone tried the 7dmc (7 day miracle cleanse)?

Evil E 08-16-2007 04:37 PM

So Jace, your doctor recommanded you to shit your brains out?

CaptainHowdy 08-16-2007 04:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by will76 (Post 12940790)
Seriously. Lots of Olive Oil. No need to go buy something from the store. If you want to guarantee success, lots of olive oil and eat some hot wings. 100% will do the job.

Nice tip!

Rhesus 08-16-2007 04:42 PM

As we use here for colonic preparation for examinations: Klean prep or prunocolon. Doesn't taste too nice though but it will get your bowels spotlessly clean.

ThumbLord 08-16-2007 04:42 PM

I got it done years ago, a friend of mine from Suriname got me some sort of black brewed stuff, hard as a rock, told me to take a vacation of 7 days and never ever leave the house.
It did work I can confirm, the side effects were great as well, 7 days a boner and no girl around.
You swallow it and yep the nastiest things come out, I felt great afterwards and horny as well

cyko 08-16-2007 05:03 PM

Check out Ernie's (of ehowa) article on the product he used....

http://www.ehowa.com/mythoughts/coloncleanse.shtml

teg0 08-16-2007 05:05 PM

lots of natural ways without going out there and purchasing some weird product.

CDSmith 08-16-2007 05:22 PM

Go Lightly is used in hospitals and has been for decades. It is hardly a "weird product"

Plenty about it mentioned in the links that came up in this search -- http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&r...ns&btnG=Search


Should be easily found in drug stores, I would go ask a pharmacist. They can at the very least tell you what they have that is similar.

chadknowslaw 08-16-2007 05:26 PM

I ate some rice soup from a street vendor in Vientiane, Laos. That cleaned me out quite well -- took off a few pounds too. I just had to find a pharmacist in Bangkok to give me the right stuff to make it STOP.

chadknowslaw 08-16-2007 05:26 PM

I ate some rice soup from a street vendor in Vientiane, Laos. That cleaned me out quite well -- took off a few pounds too. I just had to find a pharmacist in Bangkok to give me the right stuff to make it STOP.

pornask 08-16-2007 06:17 PM

If you're going to clean your body of shit, you may as well do it the 100% natural way. Check out http://www.drnatura.com/

CDSmith 08-16-2007 06:19 PM

I hear shit will be hitting the fan soon in this thread... http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showthread.php?t=761077

Maybe go ask Juicy what HE used. :D

Sharky 08-16-2007 06:20 PM

Go search on Google for "the lemonade diet"

That will work.

bronco67 08-16-2007 07:19 PM

There's this stuff I drank before my colonoscopy called phospha soda. You can buy it in the drug store. The night before my procedure, I had to drink a bootle of this stuff with a gallon of water.

First, you need to be sitting down when you drink this stuff. It will bring you to your knees. Imagine squeezing 1000 lemons and mix it with a sack of buttholes. Worst ever.

Anyway, be near the john, because if you have to go up or down stairs you will not make it. Everything starts coming out. You keep drinking water until basically about 2 hours later you're butt is squirting jets of water that is so clean it sparkles like the fucking Nile river.

You're not shitting the whole 2 hours -- it comes in waves every 20 minutes or so.

Give it a try and report back....

CDSmith 08-16-2007 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bronco67 (Post 12942445)
There's this stuff I drank before my colonoscopy called phospha soda. You can buy it in the drug store. The night before my procedure, I had to drink a bootle of this stuff with a gallon of water.

First, you need to be sitting down when you drink this stuff. It will bring you to your knees. Imagine squeezing 1000 lemons and mix it with a sack of buttholes. Worst ever.

Anyway, be near the john, because if you have to go up or down stairs you will not make it. Everything starts coming out. You keep drinking water until basically about 2 hours later you're butt is squirting jets of water that is so clean it sparkles like the fucking Nile river.

You're not shitting the whole 2 hours -- it comes in waves every 20 minutes or so.

Give it a try and report back....

If he lives. :1orglaugh




That Go Lightly stuff I mentioned pretty much does the same thing btw. No escape!

Bell 08-16-2007 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chadknowslaw (Post 12941842)
I ate some rice soup from a street vendor in Vientiane, Laos. That cleaned me out quite well -- took off a few pounds too. I just had to find a pharmacist in Bangkok to give me the right stuff to make it STOP.


now that is funny...

glad you were able to get help...

~Bell (Patricia)

Pornwolf 08-16-2007 07:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bronco67 (Post 12942445)
There's this stuff I drank before my colonoscopy called phospha soda. You can buy it in the drug store. The night before my procedure, I had to drink a bootleg of this stuff with a gallon of water.


There must be something to this. Hospitals definitely do use this when they need to clean you out for a colonoscopy.

rowan 08-16-2007 09:43 PM

O M F G.

http://www.blessedherbs.com/photos2i.html

Not only are there pictures of poo, there's headshots of the people that sent them in! :1orglaugh

tony286 08-16-2007 09:49 PM

I went a read around,most docs hate that colon cleansing shit(no pun ) intended. Probably the best way to do it, is eating whole grains,veggies and fruits for a month and only distilled water. None of the tasty stuff you would probably feel like a million dollars afterwards. I wish I had the strength to do it myself.

Drake 08-16-2007 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jace (Post 12940760)

I'm going to assume these are extreme cases and that the average person doesn't have anything like that in their colons. Am I wrong? :Oh crap

Spunky 08-16-2007 10:14 PM

Poopin is cool

Jace 08-16-2007 10:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mike33 (Post 12943166)
I'm going to assume these are extreme cases and that the average person doesn't have anything like that in their colons. Am I wrong? :Oh crap

well, it is pretty normal these days to have larger amounts of it

Quote:

"The intestines can store a vast amount of partially digested, putrefying matter (as well as drugs and other toxic chemicals)?for decades even. Some intestines, when autopsied, have weighed up to 40 pounds and were distended to a diameter of 12 inches with only a pencil-thin channel through which the feces could move.

That 40 pounds was due to caked layers of encrusted mucus mixed with fecal matter, bizarrely resembling hardened blackish-green truck tire rubber or an old piece of dried rawhide. I call this mucoid plaque. This mucoid plaque, when it is removed during an intensive colon cleanse, often shows ropelike twists, striations, overlaps, folds, creases?the shape and texture of the intestinal wall.

Mucoid plaque may vary considerably, depending on the chemical conditions in a person?s intestines. It may be hard and brittle; it may be firm and thick; tough, wet, and rubbery; soft, thick, and mucoid; or soft, transparent, and thin; it can range in color from light brown, black, or greenish-black to yellow or grey, and sometimes emits an intensely foul odor.

One client I know, in the course of a month-long colon cleanse, passed a single length of mucoid plaque 15 feet long; another client excreted a total of 11 pounds of mucoid plaque during a cleanse. It is not unusual to pass a total of 35 to 45 feet of plaque, often in the last week. In our clinical experience of monitoring thousands of intensive colon cleanse programs over the last 14 years, most people pass a staggering amount of this strange substance.

I coined the term mucoid plaque, meaning a film of mucus, to describe the unhealthy accumulation of abnormal mucous matter on the walls of the intestines. Conventional medicine knows this as a layering of mucin or glycoproteins (made up of 20 amino acids and 50% carbohydrates) which are naturally and appropriately secreted by intestines as protection from acids and toxins.

However, mucoid plaque is different from the mucosal lining (mucosa) of the gastrointestinal tract. The latter acts as a necessary buffer to the gastrointestinal wall and as a lubricant for peristalsis; it is also responsible for the secretion of mucins which comprise mucoid plaque. The cells of the outermost layer of the mucosa (the epithelium) stay fresh and vital, renewing themselves every four to seven days.

It sounds paradoxical, but medical research indicates that mucoid plaque is a normal self-defense measure?natural protection from unnatural toxins.

Evidence indicates that mucoid plaque, with the possible exception of that found in the stomach, is unnatural to the healthy body and is found only after the body has moved away from perfect health and into a diseased state. The theory goes that if you were completely healthy, your system would produce no mucoid plaque because it wouldn?t need to.

When the body has been chronically subjected to (or put under attack by) drugs (such as aspirin or alcohol), salt, heavy metals (including dental mercury), toxic chemicals, parasites, harmful microbes and their toxins, and circulating immune complexes (immune cells locked onto undigested particles or foreign substances in the bloodstream), it produces mucoid plaque to protect itself.

The trouble is once the mucoid plaque is created, for whatever biologically important reason, it is not routinely excreted from the intestines. Instead it lodges in the numerous folds and crevices of this large organ and can remain there for many years. Over time, the mucoid plaque grows thicker, firmer, and more widespread?colonizing, as it were, the tennis court?sized interior of the intestines. Old feces adhere to the plaque and are not removed during a normal bowel motion.

The plaque slows down intestinal action, both waste excretion and nutrient absorption. It can harbor pathogens, including bacteria and parasites, which actually hide underneath the plaque; it may block the normal outflow of lymph and mucin drainage. It binds toxins to itself and contributes to bowel toxicity, slowly emitting toxins into the bloodstream. Finally, plaque creates a friendly environment for disease, in some cases for colon cancer and gastric carcinomas.

Gradually your immune system is weakened as the chronically toxic bowel environment destroys useful bacteria. Your liver becomes overburdened by the unprocessed intestinal toxins, and nerve meridian points in the intestines related to hundreds of other parts of the body are compromised.

A toxic bowel results in toxic blood and lymph, toxic organs and cells, and toxic function. The bowel ?feeds? every organ, tissue, and cell in our bodies, so when the quality of feeding from the digestive system is contaminated or of poor quality, the cells and organs elsewhere in the body will be compromised and grow sluggish and inefficient.

So while mucoid plaque is ?natural? in that the intestines produce it, it is most unnatural in that the presence of a large amount of it indicates a high degree of intestinal ill health. When the intestines are ill, you will be ill. "

Jace 08-16-2007 10:30 PM

http://www.planearium2.de/bilder/wal...iwinks-800.jpg

Snake Doctor 08-16-2007 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bronco67 (Post 12942445)
There's this stuff I drank before my colonoscopy called phospha soda. You can buy it in the drug store. The night before my procedure, I had to drink a bootle of this stuff with a gallon of water.

First, you need to be sitting down when you drink this stuff. It will bring you to your knees. Imagine squeezing 1000 lemons and mix it with a sack of buttholes. Worst ever.

Anyway, be near the john, because if you have to go up or down stairs you will not make it. Everything starts coming out. You keep drinking water until basically about 2 hours later you're butt is squirting jets of water that is so clean it sparkles like the fucking Nile river.

You're not shitting the whole 2 hours -- it comes in waves every 20 minutes or so.

Give it a try and report back....

I have been thinking about this colon cleanse stuff for awhile, and this thread and this post made me decide to go to walgreens and buy this stuff.

It tastes bad but nothing like what you described, I think they've improved the lemon/ginger stuff you mix with it to make it more bearable.

I brought the laptop to the john with me, which is where I'm posting this from. I figured I was gonna be here awhile so I brought some books and a DVD.

I'll keep you guys posted on how everything comes out :1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Jace 08-16-2007 10:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lenny2 (Post 12943230)
I have been thinking about this colon cleanse stuff for awhile, and this thread and this post made me decide to go to walgreens and buy this stuff.

It tastes bad but nothing like what you described, I think they've improved the lemon/ginger stuff you mix with it to make it more bearable.

I brought the laptop to the john with me, which is where I'm posting this from. I figured I was gonna be here awhile so I brought some books and a DVD.

I'll keep you guys posted on how everything comes out :1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

OMFG, hahahahahaha

take pics!!! ROFL

Snake Doctor 08-16-2007 11:24 PM

So it finally kicked in and every 5 minutes or so I have niagra falls coming out of my ass.

It stopped for a few minutes and I went out to the kitchen to refill my water bottle and I sharted :(

This stuff is powerful

bronco67 08-16-2007 11:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lenny2 (Post 12943230)
I have been thinking about this colon cleanse stuff for awhile, and this thread and this post made me decide to go to walgreens and buy this stuff.

It tastes bad but nothing like what you described, I think they've improved the lemon/ginger stuff you mix with it to make it more bearable.

I brought the laptop to the john with me, which is where I'm posting this from. I figured I was gonna be here awhile so I brought some books and a DVD.

I'll keep you guys posted on how everything comes out :1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

make sure you drink PLENTY of water. Whatever the bottle says...and I think you can't eat for a while before you do it. Please don't be a dunce, make sure you follow the directions, you could hurt yourself.

Snake Doctor 08-16-2007 11:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bronco67 (Post 12943399)
make sure you drink PLENTY of water. Whatever the bottle says...

I'm on my 3rd liter now.

Jesus Christ someone bring me some CHEESE!!!! :helpme

Profits of Doom 08-16-2007 11:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lenny2 (Post 12943408)
I'm on my 3rd liter now.

Jesus Christ someone bring me some CHEESE!!!! :helpme

The problem is the stuff you bought is supposed to get rid of the immediate build up inside your colon, but the other treatments, like Oxy Powder and the others, are supposed to flush out the built up obstructions in your colon. Is a lot of what you are shitting now water based or actually solid?

After Shock Media 08-16-2007 11:55 PM

Doesnt it bother anyone that this is pseudo science and medicine?

Sure if you enjoy shitting go for it, if you gain some mental rffects fine, yet please do not fool yourself and think this shit is real, medically proven, or even effects you aside from shitting your brains out.

will76 08-17-2007 12:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jace (Post 12943207)
well, it is pretty normal these days to have larger amounts of it

ok after reading that quote, i never want to eat again...

but you did give me a good idea for a new diet....


The Colon Blow diet. It is like the South BEach Diet but better. eat whatever you want and go get a colon blow and lose 10 - 20 pounds of old shit. :winkwink::Oh crap

I hope i dont have pound(s) of old crap in my colon. :Oh crap

will76 08-17-2007 12:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lenny2 (Post 12943369)
So it finally kicked in and every 5 minutes or so I have niagra falls coming out of my ass.

It stopped for a few minutes and I went out to the kitchen to refill my water bottle and I sharted :(

This stuff is powerful

LMAO... i want to try it now too.

munki 08-17-2007 12:26 AM

Do me a favor and watch the Penn and Teller's Bullshit special on colonics and colon cleansers before you try anythng...

zand_stein 08-17-2007 12:28 AM

you ca try to eat apple.......
also drink some apple juice........

Profits of Doom 08-17-2007 12:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zand_stein (Post 12943518)
you ca try to eat apple.......
also drink some apple juice........

Could you please just turn off your computer and quit posting. I have yet to understand a fucking thing you have posted. Ever considered suicide? I hear all the cool kids are doing it...

Snake Doctor 08-17-2007 12:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Profits of Doom (Post 12943413)
The problem is the stuff you bought is supposed to get rid of the immediate build up inside your colon, but the other treatments, like Oxy Powder and the others, are supposed to flush out the built up obstructions in your colon. Is a lot of what you are shitting now water based or actually solid?

Dude it's niagra falls, there's nothing solid left.

I have a hard time believing there's anything "built up" in there, the 3000psi pressure washer that was once my asshole has cleaned everything.

My best guess is that the other products like oxy powder where they show you all this tar like substance that came out of people actually creates that stuff inside of you and then when you poop it out you think that it "cleaned you out" :2 cents:

bausch 08-17-2007 12:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lenny2 (Post 12943369)
So it finally kicked in and every 5 minutes or so I have niagra falls coming out of my ass.

It stopped for a few minutes and I went out to the kitchen to refill my water bottle and I sharted :(

This stuff is powerful

Does it hurt and sting? Cause I know that dhiarrhea stings your ass sometimes and feels "unpleasant", like burning... you know what I mean?

Does it feel this way when you're shitting out a ton of shit from drinking this colon cleaning stuff?

Profits of Doom 08-17-2007 12:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lenny2 (Post 12943550)
Dude it's niagra falls, there's nothing solid left.

I have a hard time believing there's anything "built up" in there, the 3000psi pressure washer that was once my asshole has cleaned everything.

My best guess is that the other products like oxy powder where they show you all this tar like substance that came out of people actually creates that stuff inside of you and then when you poop it out you think that it "cleaned you out" :2 cents:

I thought that too, and there is some evidence that products that tell you to take olive oil with them are causing the build up. The alternative medicine page on about.com says that, as the woman that writes it researched it and said the olive oils caused her to shit odd gelatinous balls.

will76 08-17-2007 12:48 AM

this conversation is shitty and makes teh boy alley's asshole itch.


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