How to Speak British Without Making an Arse of Yourself - GoFuckYourself.com

cardinalvices · 07-11-2007, 03:47 AM

Here are some other wacky British slang terms:

* ?To knock you up? means to wake you up by knocking on the door.

* To "diddle" means to cheat someone.

* A "fag" is a cigarette.

* When the British are surprised or shocked they exclaim, "Blow me!"

* "Slap and tickle" means having sex.

* And courage is "a lotta bottle." From drinking alcohol from a bottle.

* And to them a real jerk is called a "wanker."

I can imagine a conversation at the front desk of a bed and breakfast in England:

CLERK: Tomorrow morning, would you like me to knock you up?

UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: Are you serious?

CLERK: I wouldn?t diddle you!

UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: Then how will you knock me up?

CLERK: Quite easily! And if I can?t do it, then I?ll get me mate to do it.

UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: Oh? you?re one of those.

CLERK: One of those what? Oh, it?s me break. I?m going out to smoke a fag.

UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: That?s disgusting!

CLERK: Oh, I know. Bad habit really. Ah, here?s Ben. He will take care of you.

BEN: So do you want me to knock you up in the morning?

UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: You English men are so forward! So did you just come back from smoking a fag?

BEN: Certainly not! Bloody nasty, if you ask me. What time shall I knock you up?

UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: What makes you think you can just have sex with me?

BEN: Blow me!!!

UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: Oh, I don?t do that.

BEN: You want the old slap and tickle? There?ll be a whole lot more slappin? than ticklin?, that?s for sure! Sex with you? Whoa! That would take a whole lotta bottle!

UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: So you?re well endowed?

CLERK: Oh, Ben?s a huuuuuge wanker!

BEN: This is just smashing.

UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: It?d better not be just smashing. You?re gonna be my baby daddy!

BEN (rolling eyes): Bloody smashing!

UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: Bloody? How big is your wanker?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwww!!! HA HA HA!

story is taken from: http://www.hogwild.net/Rants/british-slang.htm

a1ka1ine · 07-11-2007, 04:01 AM

***When the British are surprised or shocked they exclaim, "Blow me!"

hmm not true. maybe blow me down but.. never heard just blow me outside of a sexual sense.

***?To knock you up? means to wake you up by knocking on the door.

ive never heard of that to mean anything else but getting someone pregnant.

!!!!

Project-Shadow · 07-11-2007, 07:34 AM

Blow me.. isn't really used anymore maybe 30 or 40 years ago and to knock you up definately means pregnant... i've had to use it at least 5 times in the past 5 years. Mildly amusing though, take everything you read about Brits with a pinch of salt, otherwise you'll come over here and get your head smashed in.

07-11-2007, 03:47 AM	#1
cardinalvices Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 2,084	How to Speak British Without Making an Arse of Yourself Here are some other wacky British slang terms: * ?To knock you up? means to wake you up by knocking on the door. * To "diddle" means to cheat someone. * A "fag" is a cigarette. * When the British are surprised or shocked they exclaim, "Blow me!" * "Slap and tickle" means having sex. * And courage is "a lotta bottle." From drinking alcohol from a bottle. * And to them a real jerk is called a "wanker." I can imagine a conversation at the front desk of a bed and breakfast in England: CLERK: Tomorrow morning, would you like me to knock you up? UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: Are you serious? CLERK: I wouldn?t diddle you! UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: Then how will you knock me up? CLERK: Quite easily! And if I can?t do it, then I?ll get me mate to do it. UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: Oh? you?re one of those. CLERK: One of those what? Oh, it?s me break. I?m going out to smoke a fag. UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: That?s disgusting! CLERK: Oh, I know. Bad habit really. Ah, here?s Ben. He will take care of you. BEN: So do you want me to knock you up in the morning? UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: You English men are so forward! So did you just come back from smoking a fag? BEN: Certainly not! Bloody nasty, if you ask me. What time shall I knock you up? UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: What makes you think you can just have sex with me? BEN: Blow me!!! UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: Oh, I don?t do that. BEN: You want the old slap and tickle? There?ll be a whole lot more slappin? than ticklin?, that?s for sure! Sex with you? Whoa! That would take a whole lotta bottle! UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: So you?re well endowed? CLERK: Oh, Ben?s a huuuuuge wanker! BEN: This is just smashing. UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: It?d better not be just smashing. You?re gonna be my baby daddy! BEN (rolling eyes): Bloody smashing! UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: Bloody? How big is your wanker? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwww!!! HA HA HA! story is taken from: http://www.hogwild.net/Rants/british-slang.htm __________________ Cardinal Vices Studio - your one stop shop for webdesign! Paysites \| Consulting \| Tube sites \| TGPs \| Galleries/Banner ads \| Flash peel ads Start your own cam site - Get Live Cam Site Solution

07-11-2007, 04:01 AM	#2
a1ka1ine Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 3,387	*When the British are surprised or shocked they exclaim, "Blow me!" hmm not true. maybe blow me down but.. never heard just blow me outside of a sexual sense. *?To knock you up? means to wake you up by knocking on the door. ive never heard of that to mean anything else but getting someone pregnant. !!!!

07-11-2007, 07:34 AM	#3
Project-Shadow Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 7,340	Blow me.. isn't really used anymore maybe 30 or 40 years ago and to knock you up definately means pregnant... i've had to use it at least 5 times in the past 5 years. Mildly amusing though, take everything you read about Brits with a pinch of salt, otherwise you'll come over here and get your head smashed in.