How to Speak British Without Making an Arse of Yourself
 

Here are some other wacky British slang terms:

* ?To knock you up? means to wake you up by knocking on the door.

* To "diddle" means to cheat someone.

* A "fag" is a cigarette.

* When the British are surprised or shocked they exclaim, "Blow me!"

* "Slap and tickle" means having sex.

* And courage is "a lotta bottle." From drinking alcohol from a bottle.

* And to them a real jerk is called a "wanker."

I can imagine a conversation at the front desk of a bed and breakfast in England:

CLERK: Tomorrow morning, would you like me to knock you up?

UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: Are you serious?

CLERK: I wouldn?t diddle you!

UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: Then how will you knock me up?

CLERK: Quite easily! And if I can?t do it, then I?ll get me mate to do it.

UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: Oh? you?re one of those.

CLERK: One of those what? Oh, it?s me break. I?m going out to smoke a fag.

UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: That?s disgusting!

CLERK: Oh, I know. Bad habit really. Ah, here?s Ben. He will take care of you.

BEN: So do you want me to knock you up in the morning?

UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: You English men are so forward! So did you just come back from smoking a fag?

BEN: Certainly not! Bloody nasty, if you ask me. What time shall I knock you up?

UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: What makes you think you can just have sex with me?

BEN: Blow me!!!

UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: Oh, I don?t do that.

BEN: You want the old slap and tickle? There?ll be a whole lot more slappin? than ticklin?, that?s for sure! Sex with you? Whoa! That would take a whole lotta bottle!

UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: So you?re well endowed?

CLERK: Oh, Ben?s a huuuuuge wanker!

BEN: This is just smashing.

UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: It?d better not be just smashing. You?re gonna be my baby daddy!

BEN (rolling eyes): Bloody smashing!

UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: Bloody? How big is your wanker?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwww!!! HA HA HA!



story is taken from: http://www.hogwild.net/Rants/british-slang.htm

***When the British are surprised or shocked they exclaim, "Blow me!"

hmm not true. maybe blow me down but.. never heard just blow me outside of a sexual sense.

***?To knock you up? means to wake you up by knocking on the door.

ive never heard of that to mean anything else but getting someone pregnant.


!!!!

Blow me.. isn't really used anymore maybe 30 or 40 years ago and to knock you up definately means pregnant... i've had to use it at least 5 times in the past 5 years. Mildly amusing though, take everything you read about Brits with a pinch of salt, otherwise you'll come over here and get your head smashed in. :1orglaugh