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Old 07-06-2007, 11:08 AM   #1
XTube_Kurtis
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Another Joke Thread

A nun went to her mother superior to complain about the
language the construction workers, who were working next to the convent,
were using. Sister Margaret was Polish, so the mother superior was used
to breaking things down and making the simplest of explanations to her.
"Sister Margaret, don't get so upset by their bad language. Those
men are just people of the earth. They call a spade a spade," the mother
superior explained patiently.
Still agitated, Sister Margaret replied, "Oh no they don't, Mother.
They call it a fuckin' shovel!"
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Old 07-06-2007, 11:28 AM   #2
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4 nuns are waiting in line to give confession.

The first nun goes in and says, "forgive me father for I have sinned, I have touched the male organ with my finger." The priest responds, "dip your finger in the holy water 10 times and you will be forgiven".

The second nun goes in and says, "forgive me father for I have sinned, I have touched the male organ with my hand." The priest responds, "dip your hand in the holy water 10 times and you will be forgiven".

The fourth nun says to the third nun, "excuse me sister, do you mind if I go before you"? The third nun says, "I see no reason why not, but would you mind telling me why"?

The fourth nun says, " I would hate to have to gargle with the holy water after you sit in it"!!
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Old 07-06-2007, 12:09 PM   #3
XTube_Kurtis
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that was great
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Old 07-06-2007, 12:19 PM   #4
XTube_Kurtis
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A fellow goes to confession and tells the priest, "Father, I've
had an affair with another woman."
"I see," says the priest, looking very grave. "But, I cannot grant
you absolution until you tell me who she is."
"Well, okay, Father," says the guy somewhat reluctantly. "Her name
is Pussy Green, and she's a blonde and a knockout."
The following Sunday, this gorgeous blonde makes her way down the
aisle and into the front pew. The priest takes a few good looks and
finally asks the altar boy, "Son, is that Pussy Green?"
The altar boy stoops down and peers, then says, "No, Father, I think
that's just the reflection from the stained glass windows."
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Old 07-06-2007, 12:42 PM   #5
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Old 07-06-2007, 12:45 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JMM View Post
4 nuns are waiting in line to give confession.

The first nun goes in and says, "forgive me father for I have sinned, I have touched the male organ with my finger." The priest responds, "dip your finger in the holy water 10 times and you will be forgiven".

The second nun goes in and says, "forgive me father for I have sinned, I have touched the male organ with my hand." The priest responds, "dip your hand in the holy water 10 times and you will be forgiven".

The fourth nun says to the third nun, "excuse me sister, do you mind if I go before you"? The third nun says, "I see no reason why not, but would you mind telling me why"?

The fourth nun says, " I would hate to have to gargle with the holy water after you sit in it"!!
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Old 07-06-2007, 01:21 PM   #7
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great JMM!
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Old 07-06-2007, 03:44 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JMM View Post
4 nuns are waiting in line to give confession.

The first nun goes in and says, "forgive me father for I have sinned, I have touched the male organ with my finger." The priest responds, "dip your finger in the holy water 10 times and you will be forgiven".

The second nun goes in and says, "forgive me father for I have sinned, I have touched the male organ with my hand." The priest responds, "dip your hand in the holy water 10 times and you will be forgiven".

The fourth nun says to the third nun, "excuse me sister, do you mind if I go before you"? The third nun says, "I see no reason why not, but would you mind telling me why"?

The fourth nun says, " I would hate to have to gargle with the holy water after you sit in it"!!
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Old 07-06-2007, 04:54 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JMM View Post
4 nuns are waiting in line to give confession.

The first nun goes in and says, "forgive me father for I have sinned, I have touched the male organ with my finger." The priest responds, "dip your finger in the holy water 10 times and you will be forgiven".

The second nun goes in and says, "forgive me father for I have sinned, I have touched the male organ with my hand." The priest responds, "dip your hand in the holy water 10 times and you will be forgiven".

The fourth nun says to the third nun, "excuse me sister, do you mind if I go before you"? The third nun says, "I see no reason why not, but would you mind telling me why"?

The fourth nun says, " I would hate to have to gargle with the holy water after you sit in it"!!
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Old 07-06-2007, 05:32 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JMM View Post
4 nuns are waiting in line to give confession.

The first nun goes in and says, "forgive me father for I have sinned, I have touched the male organ with my finger." The priest responds, "dip your finger in the holy water 10 times and you will be forgiven".

The second nun goes in and says, "forgive me father for I have sinned, I have touched the male organ with my hand." The priest responds, "dip your hand in the holy water 10 times and you will be forgiven".

The fourth nun says to the third nun, "excuse me sister, do you mind if I go before you"? The third nun says, "I see no reason why not, but would you mind telling me why"?

The fourth nun says, " I would hate to have to gargle with the holy water after you sit in it"!!
Lol
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Old 07-06-2007, 05:39 PM   #11
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So Mary Magdalene was running like mad with the local angry mob not far behind. Eventually she falls and the mob catches up to her, and they decide to stone her, as tradition and trend demands.
"CEASE!" says a deep, commanding voice "HE WITHOUT SIN CAST THE FIRS STONE!" And the crowd went silent.
Until suddenly an enormous bolder falls on Magdalene's head spreading her brain throughout the town square.
"MOTHER, HOW YOU ANNOY ME!"
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Old 07-06-2007, 06:04 PM   #12
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what do you call two guys with no arms and legs hanging in your window??

Kurt and rod ( curtain rod) LOL
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Old 07-06-2007, 06:32 PM   #13
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This thread is sad, sad, sad.
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