50 mistakes women make while having sex ---- written by... a woman! - GoFuckYourself.com

CDSmith · 06-26-2007, 09:39 AM

Again, for the usual idiots who can't read, I did not write these. A woman did.
They were sent to a friend of mine via facebook from a female friend of his.

Enjoy...

50 Mistakes Women Make When Having Sex.

1. Assuming he can get a raging hard on when it suits you. Contrary to popular belief, men can't just flip a switch and get it up because you decided to stop being a frigid bitch. Getting it hard is your job. I suggest you figure it out.

2. Thinking that kissing needs to be this sweet romantic thing all the time. Sometimes pressing your lips against your partners mouth while you get off is the hot. It depends on the situation.

3. Leaving him responsible for your orgasm. You know what gets you off. Tell him. If you don't, it's your own fault when he's snoozing and you're all wound up.

4. Expecting him to cuddle. Men and women are wired differently. Sex makes most women want to talk and bond and all that s**t. It makes men pass out. It's a biological thing. Stop fighting it, and stop holding it over his head, it's not his fault.

5. Expecting him to fall asleep with you in his arms. That s**t is uncomfortable after awhile. A little snuggling isn't unreasonable, but when it's time to actually sleep? An arm draped over you should suffice.

6. Expecting him to always lay on the charm and romance. Sometimes, that's nice. Sometimes. But expecting him to be all roses and candles all the time is like expecting you to act like a pornstar all the time. If you're not willing to do that, don't expect him to switch for you.

7. Being selfish in bed. Regardless of the s**t that Cosmo forces down our throats, sex is NOT just about us. Get over it.

8. Using random magazines as a sex bible. I dont know who comes up with half that s**t, but I'm pretty sure they need counseling.

9. Whining when he pushes your head down on his cock instead of stroking your hair. Know why he's pushing, skippy? Because you aren't doing it right, and have apparently ignored the other clues he's given you. Pay attention to the signals that he's sending you.

10. Not moving at all. Missionary is not an excuse to do nothing.

11. Expecting him to undress himself with any amount of grace. He's about to get some pussy. Be glad he bothered to take his pants all the way off. If it concerns you so much, undress him yourself.

12. Not shaving your legs. Im pretty bad at this myself. But if you want your guy stubble free, you better get out the razor.

13. Allowing your crotch to resemble the amazon. Yes, waxing hurts. Yes, some people don't want to go bare. Thats fine. If you like bush, great. If you have sensitive skin and can't shave, I feel for you. But for the love of Christ, trim that s**t if you want him to spend any time down there.

14. Assuming that sex means a relationship. The only relationship you have is that he has now stuck his hoo hoo dilly in your cha cha. That's as far as it goes unless otherwise noted.

15. Withholding oral sex just because you're ragging. He didn't do it. Unless you want him to withhold oral sex because he's hormonal, I suggest you get some kneepads.

16. Expecting him to figure out what you like by what noise you make. Use your words. Have you ever actually heard what you sound like while you're having sex? If you heard yourself on tape, and someone asked you to explain what was causing you to make that noise, 67% of women would respond with answers like "I stubbed my toe" "I ran up the steps" or "I was putting up drywall".

17. Leaving condoms up to him. If you're sexually active and insist that he uses a condom, I suggest buying a box and keeping it by your bed. Not all men keep them on them, and it's just as much your responsibility as it is his. If you think that makes you a slut, you shouldn't be having sex anyway. Go back to Jr High.

18. Getting your undies in a bunch when he talks dirty. A little fantasy can be fun. If he treats you with respect all the time, you shouldn't be offended when he calls you his dirty little slut. When he calls you a whore and tells you to come, its his way of showing that he cares if you get off. Stop being a sissy.

19. Refusing to be spontaneous. I know this is shocking, but sometimes sex OUTSIDE of the bedroom is fun.

20. Dissing quickies because it's not some slow sensual ordeal. Sex is a dynamic thing. Theres an awesome raw energy when you only have 20 minutes but having to have someone so bad that you do it half clothed against the wall. Readjust your thinking.

21. Being too much of a pussy to tell him what is or isn't acceptable before you start bumping uglies. Be honest. If he asks if he can poke you in the butt, and you giggle and say no like it's an invitation, don't look surprised when he "accidentally" sticks his cock in your butt.

22. Expecting him to undress you. I put a bra on almost every day. I know for a fact that getting them off isn't always easy. Help a brother out.

23. Undressing in the dark. If youre shy, dim the lights, but give the man something to see. No ripping off the clothes and diving under the covers, either.

24. Refusing to get on top. Theres no reason men should have to do all the work.

25. Getting that bored look on your face. Men are more visual than women. Give him something to look at. Get on top and arch your back a little bit. Move. Do something to indicate that you 1) are not dead and 2) didn't suffer a minor stroke rendering you unable to move.

Cont'd....

CDSmith · 06-26-2007, 09:47 AM

26. Expecting him to do all the touching when you're riding him. It's your body, you're used to it. Play with your tits, rub your clit, do something to make his job easier.

27. Being too afraid to guide your partner's hand when hes touching you. Don't like the way he's doing it? Gently take his hand and show him how you like it.

28. Getting into bed, getting naked, fooling around and then deciding that you just want to cuddle, then getting offended when he doesn't. Its your choice to stop, but don't look all #@%*ing surprised when he's confused. You got him naked in your bed, what else did you think was going to happen?

29. Refusing to let him take control. So your a feminist. Big #@%*ing deal. Letting him call the shots doesn't make you any less of one.

30. Refusing to take control. Its ok to crawl across a bed to him on all fours, push him down and crawl on top. It's not his responsibility to start things all the time.

31. Forgetting that he has a body that likes to be touched, too. Men have things like backs and shoulders and stomachs and other parts that are fun to kiss and touch. You miss a lot of good places by concentrating solely on his penis.

32. Ignoring his balls. Seriously, they are there. Kiss them, lick them, suck on them, make a relationship with them, just don't ignore them.

33. Leaving him to his own devices. Nothing is worse than a girl who gets you most of the way off and then bolts because she doesn't want to deal with the mess.

34. Launching into some speech about not being an object for sex when he tries to titty #@%* you. Jesus Christ, just push them together and enjoy yourself. You get a great view.

35. Expecting him to handle you like a porcelain doll. I'd hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you're not going to break, sister. So doing it against the wall gives you a bruise on your shoulder. Look at it later and giggle at the memory.

36. Refusing to try things in the name of "making love". You're not making anything. You are naked. With another person. Making strange faces and weird noises. Stop romanticizing it.

37. Taking things way too seriously. Sex is funny. Actually it's hilarious. Somewhere along the line, someone is going to fall off of a bed, hit their head on a lighting fixture, accidentally kick a midget or trip over a goat. It's how you deal with it that really matters.

38. Throwing a bitch fit when he asks for a 3 some. Its the American dream. (I know my ex is reading this right now, so a quick interjection. One request for a 3 some is ok. Every 5 minutes, not so much. Know the difference).

39. Continuing a blow job knowing that you have god awful cotton mouth. Really. Grab a bottle of water.

40. Nails. Its one thing tracing them up and down your partners back. Its another when you snag the goods with a claw.

41. Bitching when you get jizz on you. You're having sex. That will happen. Thats the entire point of sex. Establish where he can and cant jizz and be done with it. Remember, it tightens the pores.

42. Not making any noises at all. Moan. Scream his name. Something so he knows he's the best you've had, even if he isn't.

43. Faking orgasms. Just. Don't. By faking (IF he believes you) he thinks he's doing everything right. And if he doesn't know its not working, he's not going to change it. Starting a vicious cycle of unfulfilling sex which will eventually be very damaging to his ego.

44. Not washing before sex. I know that sex is spontaneous, this is more of a general statement. If you haven't showered that day, and things smell a little...fishy...perhaps demanding oral sex is a little ridiculous of you.

45. Anything that involves inserting anything into his body that he has not specifically approved before hand. I don't care what Cosmo says, some things are simply not pleasant surprises.

46. Refusing to use oils/whipped cream/other messy but fun things because you have 541510630 count Egyptian cotton sheets that were made by hand by the only person alive capable of sewing that pattern. They'll wash.

47. Doing all of your before bed things before sex. Yes, sleeping with makeup on is bad. Now is not the time to remove it, you can do that later. And really #@%*ing you with your hair in a ratty scrunchie with acne cream on your nose is not all its cracked up to be.

48. Cleaning up after sex. Wiping the splooge off is one thing. But changing the sheets immediately so you can get the other ones in the washer and then sanitizing everything your naked body might have possibly passed by is not the way to do it.

49. Making a big deal out of it if he loses his hard on. This is not an interrogation, or 20 questions. It happens, he's probably mortified and you are NOT helping. Refrain from using phrases like "it happens to every guy". Just move to other activities until it gets hard again, and if it doesn't, get off another way with him. He's still capable of getting you off. Mumbling "Forget it" and rolling over are not ok.

50. Asking questions right afterwards. The woman equivalent of "was it good for you?". Now is not a good time to ask "What this means". Right now, it means he probably needs to take a drink, a leak and a nap, perhaps not in that order.

So many of them ring true it's hard to choose a favorite. :D

nosey · 06-26-2007, 09:53 AM

good list

MandyBlake · 06-26-2007, 10:05 AM

that is a great lisst. thanks for posting it.

CE_Chris · 06-26-2007, 10:06 AM

very informative stuff...

CDSmith · 06-26-2007, 10:08 AM

All I can say is I'd love to meet the woman who wrote it.

nosey · 06-26-2007, 10:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CDSmith

All I can say is I'd love to meet the woman who wrote it.

bobby666 · 06-26-2007, 10:16 AM

i am sure that woman has a cock

Drake · 06-26-2007, 10:18 AM

Good list

gimo33 · 06-26-2007, 10:25 AM

great stuff.... thanks for sharing

Penthouse Tony · 06-26-2007, 10:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bobby666

i am sure that woman has a cock

That's what I was thinking.

BluewireAngie · 06-26-2007, 10:37 AM

haha... So true!!!

CDSmith · 06-26-2007, 10:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bobby666

i am sure that woman has a cock

Or maybe like a lot of GFY'ers she just loves the cock.

GirlsOnYou · 06-26-2007, 10:56 AM

Awesome woman.

Damn Cosmo.. so many girls are ruined because of it.

the alchemist · 06-26-2007, 11:04 AM

Funny yet brilliant!

who · 06-26-2007, 11:08 AM

I"m printing this.

carol.prime · 06-26-2007, 11:08 AM

cool list girl!!!..you're right indeed!!!..
thanks for the infos...

baddog · 06-26-2007, 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CDSmith

37. . . . accidentally kick a midget or trip over a goat. It's how you deal with it that really matters.

I hate it when that happens.

Loryn · 06-26-2007, 11:10 AM

FUCKIN' ROCK ON, that woman kicks ass.

It's about time we hear from real women and not these pussy little women libers!
Me Me Me Me Me Me Me Me Me.....................I want to be treated like a man and a woman. Mine Mine Mine Mine Mine, I am the only one to make decisions on babies.
YOU CAN'T HAVE BOTH BITCH!

Clicky little bitchy girls are such a pet peeve. I know they are great for men because men know who they can bang for a night, but to hang around those chicks makes me ill. Tee-Hee-he Tee-Hee-he Tee Hee-he bounce bounce bounce!

Loch · 06-26-2007, 11:13 AM

pretty fucking good LOL

Ace_luffy · 06-26-2007, 11:15 AM

nice info

women likes more expressive... yummy..

CosmicTang · 06-26-2007, 11:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loryn-Adult.com

FUCKIN' ROCK ON, that woman kicks ass.

It's about time we hear from real women and not these pussy little women libers!
Me Me Me Me Me Me Me Me Me.....................I want to be treated like a man and a woman. Mine Mine Mine Mine Mine, I am the only one to make decisions on babies.
YOU CAN'T HAVE BOTH BITCH!

Clicky little bitchy girls are such a pet peeve. I know they are great for men because men know who they can bang for a night, but to hang around those chicks makes me ill. Tee-Hee-he Tee-Hee-he Tee Hee-he bounce bounce bounce!

sweetcuties · 06-26-2007, 11:31 AM

funny shit, some are good

Ayla_SquareTurtle · 06-26-2007, 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bobby666

i am sure that woman has a cock

You, Sir, are a smart man.

That being said, sure there are some good points there, but some are total bullshit.

Quagmire · 06-26-2007, 11:54 AM

Loryn's post is hotter than the list. I got wood reading it.

tranza · 06-26-2007, 12:32 PM

I bet that nobody is going to read that whole list.

tranza · 06-26-2007, 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loryn-Adult.com

FUCKIN' ROCK ON, that woman kicks ass.

It's about time we hear from real women and not these pussy little women libers!
Me Me Me Me Me Me Me Me Me.....................I want to be treated like a man and a woman. Mine Mine Mine Mine Mine, I am the only one to make decisions on babies.
YOU CAN'T HAVE BOTH BITCH!

Clicky little bitchy girls are such a pet peeve. I know they are great for men because men know who they can bang for a night, but to hang around those chicks makes me ill. Tee-Hee-he Tee-Hee-he Tee Hee-he bounce bounce bounce!

Very nice 9,999 post.

ADL Josh · 06-26-2007, 12:38 PM

awesome!

MaDalton · 06-26-2007, 01:32 PM

sounds like my gf - i guess i'm lucky

Swish · 06-26-2007, 01:52 PM

Excellent

GITZINGER · 06-26-2007, 01:54 PM

"If you haven't showered that day, and things smell a little...fishy...perhaps demanding oral sex is a little ridiculous of you."

ePorn · 06-26-2007, 01:57 PM

that's good shit! the chick that wrote that is either a some tranny closet fuck or so fucking ugly that men go blind looking at her. Otherwise, i gotta meet this chick...

PR_Sebas · 06-26-2007, 01:57 PM

13. Allowing your crotch to resemble the amazon. Yes, waxing hurts. Yes, some people don't want to go bare. Thats fine. If you like bush, great. If you have sensitive skin and can't shave, I feel for you. But for the love of Christ, trim that s**t if you want him to spend any time down there.

lol.. yah really sounds like a girl talking there... sounds like one of those "girls" from some dating site chatroom asking another girl to show her tits when its clearly a guy...

Mickey_ · 06-26-2007, 02:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loryn-Adult.com

FUCKIN' ROCK ON, that woman kicks ass.

It's about time we hear from real women and not these pussy little women libers!
Me Me Me Me Me Me Me Me Me.....................I want to be treated like a man and a woman. Mine Mine Mine Mine Mine, I am the only one to make decisions on babies.
YOU CAN'T HAVE BOTH BITCH!

Clicky little bitchy girls are such a pet peeve. I know they are great for men because men know who they can bang for a night, but to hang around those chicks makes me ill. Tee-Hee-he Tee-Hee-he Tee Hee-he bounce bounce bounce!

Tell 'em Loryn!

harvey · 06-26-2007, 02:18 PM

nice. however, we need once of those time line pics in this thread, this same list was posted at GFY 1 or 2 years ago

Vick! · 06-26-2007, 02:31 PM

Old but still awsome..

poindexxer · 06-26-2007, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pornreviewsource

lol.. yah really sounds like a girl talking there... sounds like one of those "girls" from some dating site chatroom asking another girl to show her tits when its clearly a guy...

Yeah, it does kind of sound like a dude.

However, I have known a few women who do talk
like that. It's rare, but it exists.

On a side note, i find it kinda' ironic that the women reading this,
by virtue of even being on this board, are probably not the ones
who need to be reading it the most.

kristin · 06-26-2007, 02:50 PM

I'm more of a guy then ...

Sex, orgasm, sleep. No cuddling.

_andy_ · 06-26-2007, 03:00 PM

That sounds like a guy wrote that.

Cash · 06-26-2007, 03:06 PM

It's the first time I hear these

Btw, she uses s**t many times

madawgz · 06-26-2007, 03:36 PM

wow thats an awesome list

Hollywood Horwitz · 06-26-2007, 03:48 PM

I agree with 90% of this!

latinasojourn · 06-26-2007, 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CDSmith

All I can say is I'd love to meet the woman who wrote it.

if you guys think that list was actually written by a normal female you don't have enough experience with women.

SomeCreep · 06-26-2007, 04:36 PM

pretty good, I like #4.

Spunky · 06-26-2007, 04:40 PM

I like this one lol..women just don't understand
38. Throwing a bitch fit when he asks for a 3 some. Its the American dream.

Angry Jew Cat - Banned for Life · 06-26-2007, 04:42 PM

who is this woman that wrote this? i want to sleep with her!

she should get a job a cosmo and start rewriting their bullshit "what he really wants in bed" columns...

my favorite...

21. Being too much of a pussy to tell him what is or isn't acceptable before you start bumping uglies. Be honest. If he asks if he can poke you in the butt, and you giggle and say no like it's an invitation, don't look surprised when he "accidentally" sticks his cock in your butt.

Zuzana Designs · 06-26-2007, 04:48 PM

LOl that is good

Big Red Machine · 06-26-2007, 04:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CDSmith

All I can say is I'd love to meet the woman who wrote it.

Yeah I'm sure he's a cool guy.....

CDSmith · 06-26-2007, 05:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by latinasojourn

if you guys think that list was actually written by a normal female you don't have enough experience with women.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Red Machine

Yeah I'm sure he's a cool guy.....

Until some of you tools have solid proof that it was a guy that wrote it, I'll thank you to leave me to my fantasy.

Cheers. :D

Aussie-Mark · 06-26-2007, 05:13 PM

Cool list, it was able to keep my concentration for the whole read

06-26-2007, 09:39 AM	#1
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	50 mistakes women make while having sex ---- written by... a woman! Again, for the usual idiots who can't read, I did not write these. A woman did. They were sent to a friend of mine via facebook from a female friend of his. Enjoy... 50 Mistakes Women Make When Having Sex. 1. Assuming he can get a raging hard on when it suits you. Contrary to popular belief, men can't just flip a switch and get it up because you decided to stop being a frigid bitch. Getting it hard is your job. I suggest you figure it out. 2. Thinking that kissing needs to be this sweet romantic thing all the time. Sometimes pressing your lips against your partners mouth while you get off is the hot. It depends on the situation. 3. Leaving him responsible for your orgasm. You know what gets you off. Tell him. If you don't, it's your own fault when he's snoozing and you're all wound up. 4. Expecting him to cuddle. Men and women are wired differently. Sex makes most women want to talk and bond and all that st. It makes men pass out. It's a biological thing. Stop fighting it, and stop holding it over his head, it's not his fault. 5. Expecting him to fall asleep with you in his arms. That st is uncomfortable after awhile. A little snuggling isn't unreasonable, but when it's time to actually sleep? An arm draped over you should suffice. 6. Expecting him to always lay on the charm and romance. Sometimes, that's nice. Sometimes. But expecting him to be all roses and candles all the time is like expecting you to act like a pornstar all the time. If you're not willing to do that, don't expect him to switch for you. 7. Being selfish in bed. Regardless of the st that Cosmo forces down our throats, sex is NOT just about us. Get over it. 8. Using random magazines as a sex bible. I dont know who comes up with half that st, but I'm pretty sure they need counseling. 9. Whining when he pushes your head down on his cock instead of stroking your hair. Know why he's pushing, skippy? Because you aren't doing it right, and have apparently ignored the other clues he's given you. Pay attention to the signals that he's sending you. 10. Not moving at all. Missionary is not an excuse to do nothing. 11. Expecting him to undress himself with any amount of grace. He's about to get some pussy. Be glad he bothered to take his pants all the way off. If it concerns you so much, undress him yourself. 12. Not shaving your legs. Im pretty bad at this myself. But if you want your guy stubble free, you better get out the razor. 13. Allowing your crotch to resemble the amazon. Yes, waxing hurts. Yes, some people don't want to go bare. Thats fine. If you like bush, great. If you have sensitive skin and can't shave, I feel for you. But for the love of Christ, trim that st if you want him to spend any time down there. 14. Assuming that sex means a relationship. The only relationship you have is that he has now stuck his hoo hoo dilly in your cha cha. That's as far as it goes unless otherwise noted. 15. Withholding oral sex just because you're ragging. He didn't do it. Unless you want him to withhold oral sex because he's hormonal, I suggest you get some kneepads. 16. Expecting him to figure out what you like by what noise you make. Use your words. Have you ever actually heard what you sound like while you're having sex? If you heard yourself on tape, and someone asked you to explain what was causing you to make that noise, 67% of women would respond with answers like "I stubbed my toe" "I ran up the steps" or "I was putting up drywall". 17. Leaving condoms up to him. If you're sexually active and insist that he uses a condom, I suggest buying a box and keeping it by your bed. Not all men keep them on them, and it's just as much your responsibility as it is his. If you think that makes you a slut, you shouldn't be having sex anyway. Go back to Jr High. 18. Getting your undies in a bunch when he talks dirty. A little fantasy can be fun. If he treats you with respect all the time, you shouldn't be offended when he calls you his dirty little slut. When he calls you a whore and tells you to come, its his way of showing that he cares if you get off. Stop being a sissy. 19. Refusing to be spontaneous. I know this is shocking, but sometimes sex OUTSIDE of the bedroom is fun. 20. Dissing quickies because it's not some slow sensual ordeal. Sex is a dynamic thing. Theres an awesome raw energy when you only have 20 minutes but having to have someone so bad that you do it half clothed against the wall. Readjust your thinking. 21. Being too much of a pussy to tell him what is or isn't acceptable before you start bumping uglies. Be honest. If he asks if he can poke you in the butt, and you giggle and say no like it's an invitation, don't look surprised when he "accidentally" sticks his cock in your butt. 22. Expecting him to undress you. I put a bra on almost every day. I know for a fact that getting them off isn't always easy. Help a brother out. 23. Undressing in the dark. If youre shy, dim the lights, but give the man something to see. No ripping off the clothes and diving under the covers, either. 24. Refusing to get on top. Theres no reason men should have to do all the work. 25. Getting that bored look on your face. Men are more visual than women. Give him something to look at. Get on top and arch your back a little bit. Move. Do something to indicate that you 1) are not dead and 2) didn't suffer a minor stroke rendering you unable to move. Cont'd.... __________________ Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!** ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

06-26-2007, 09:47 AM	#2
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	26. Expecting him to do all the touching when you're riding him. It's your body, you're used to it. Play with your tits, rub your clit, do something to make his job easier. 27. Being too afraid to guide your partner's hand when hes touching you. Don't like the way he's doing it? Gently take his hand and show him how you like it. 28. Getting into bed, getting naked, fooling around and then deciding that you just want to cuddle, then getting offended when he doesn't. Its your choice to stop, but don't look all #@%ing surprised when he's confused. You got him naked in your bed, what else did you think was going to happen? 29. Refusing to let him take control. So your a feminist. Big #@%ing deal. Letting him call the shots doesn't make you any less of one. 30. Refusing to take control. Its ok to crawl across a bed to him on all fours, push him down and crawl on top. It's not his responsibility to start things all the time. 31. Forgetting that he has a body that likes to be touched, too. Men have things like backs and shoulders and stomachs and other parts that are fun to kiss and touch. You miss a lot of good places by concentrating solely on his penis. 32. Ignoring his balls. Seriously, they are there. Kiss them, lick them, suck on them, make a relationship with them, just don't ignore them. 33. Leaving him to his own devices. Nothing is worse than a girl who gets you most of the way off and then bolts because she doesn't want to deal with the mess. 34. Launching into some speech about not being an object for sex when he tries to titty #@%* you. Jesus Christ, just push them together and enjoy yourself. You get a great view. 35. Expecting him to handle you like a porcelain doll. I'd hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you're not going to break, sister. So doing it against the wall gives you a bruise on your shoulder. Look at it later and giggle at the memory. 36. Refusing to try things in the name of "making love". You're not making anything. You are naked. With another person. Making strange faces and weird noises. Stop romanticizing it. 37. Taking things way too seriously. Sex is funny. Actually it's hilarious. Somewhere along the line, someone is going to fall off of a bed, hit their head on a lighting fixture, accidentally kick a midget or trip over a goat. It's how you deal with it that really matters. 38. Throwing a bitch fit when he asks for a 3 some. Its the American dream. (I know my ex is reading this right now, so a quick interjection. One request for a 3 some is ok. Every 5 minutes, not so much. Know the difference). 39. Continuing a blow job knowing that you have god awful cotton mouth. Really. Grab a bottle of water. 40. Nails. Its one thing tracing them up and down your partners back. Its another when you snag the goods with a claw. 41. Bitching when you get jizz on you. You're having sex. That will happen. Thats the entire point of sex. Establish where he can and cant jizz and be done with it. Remember, it tightens the pores. 42. Not making any noises at all. Moan. Scream his name. Something so he knows he's the best you've had, even if he isn't. 43. Faking orgasms. Just. Don't. By faking (IF he believes you) he thinks he's doing everything right. And if he doesn't know its not working, he's not going to change it. Starting a vicious cycle of unfulfilling sex which will eventually be very damaging to his ego. 44. Not washing before sex. I know that sex is spontaneous, this is more of a general statement. If you haven't showered that day, and things smell a little...fishy...perhaps demanding oral sex is a little ridiculous of you. 45. Anything that involves inserting anything into his body that he has not specifically approved before hand. I don't care what Cosmo says, some things are simply not pleasant surprises. 46. Refusing to use oils/whipped cream/other messy but fun things because you have 541510630 count Egyptian cotton sheets that were made by hand by the only person alive capable of sewing that pattern. They'll wash. 47. Doing all of your before bed things before sex. Yes, sleeping with makeup on is bad. Now is not the time to remove it, you can do that later. And really #@%ing you with your hair in a ratty scrunchie with acne cream on your nose is not all its cracked up to be. 48. Cleaning up after sex. Wiping the splooge off is one thing. But changing the sheets immediately so you can get the other ones in the washer and then sanitizing everything your naked body might have possibly passed by is not the way to do it. 49. Making a big deal out of it if he loses his hard on. This is not an interrogation, or 20 questions. It happens, he's probably mortified and you are NOT helping. Refrain from using phrases like "it happens to every guy". Just move to other activities until it gets hard again, and if it doesn't, get off another way with him. He's still capable of getting you off. Mumbling "Forget it" and rolling over are not ok. 50. Asking questions right afterwards. The woman equivalent of "was it good for you?". Now is not a good time to ask "What this means". Right now, it means he probably needs to take a drink, a leak and a nap, perhaps not in that order. So many of them ring true it's hard to choose a favorite. :D __________________ Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

06-26-2007, 09:53 AM	#3
nosey Talk Hard Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 14,413	good list __________________ \| Domain whois privacy Free \|\| GFY favored Hosting \| $Chaturbate \|\| FpcTraffic FPCPlugs \|\| PlugRush Traffic

06-26-2007, 10:06 AM	#5
CE_Chris Confirmed User Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 444	very informative stuff... __________________ _____________________________________________ Chris Dell [email protected] Office: 818-577-4555 x261 ICQ: 358424741

06-26-2007, 10:08 AM	#6
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	All I can say is I'd love to meet the woman who wrote it. __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

06-26-2007, 10:05 AM	#4
MandyBlake The one and only! Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Atlanta, GA Posts: 17,761	that is a great lisst. thanks for posting it. __________________ Mandy's Playhouse Her First Fat Girl If you're interested in promoting my sites, ICQ me! 178411921

06-26-2007, 10:16 AM	#8
bobby666 boots are my religion Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Heart of europe Posts: 21,765	i am sure that woman has a cock __________________

06-26-2007, 10:18 AM	#9
Drake Hello world! Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 12,508	Good list

06-26-2007, 10:25 AM	#10
gimo33 Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 5,599	great stuff.... thanks for sharing __________________ Galleries that sells www.highendcreatives.com Avail of the $10 per gallery, promo!! Highend Designs at Low Price. Contact us now!

06-26-2007, 10:37 AM	#12
BluewireAngie Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Makati Posts: 4,643	haha... So true!!! __________________ Web Design & Programming - Creative Mainstream Style Web Design and Programming PORTFOLIO Custom Cartoons - High Quality Cartoon Studio PORTFOLIO Offshore Staff - Save Money & Grow Faster With Dedicated Offshore Staff PRICING ICQ:282-072-512

06-26-2007, 10:56 AM	#14
GirlsOnYou Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 617	Awesome woman. Damn Cosmo.. so many girls are ruined because of it. __________________ * Selling my adult sites. Email: furaldbullon48aol9com - Replace 48 with @ and 9 with .

06-26-2007, 11:04 AM	#15
the alchemist Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Montreal, Canada Posts: 3,271	Funny yet brilliant! __________________ 264 349 400

06-26-2007, 11:08 AM	#16
who So Fucking Banned Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: ICQ #23642053 Posts: 19,593	I"m printing this.

06-26-2007, 11:08 AM	#17
carol.prime Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Manila, Philippines Posts: 6,960	cool list girl!!!..you're right indeed!!!.. thanks for the infos... __________________ Prime Outsourcing \| offshore staffing solutions \| manual labor \| employee leasing \| full time employees starting at $695.00/month = managed and dedicated icq.: 309570461 live chat

06-26-2007, 11:10 AM	#19
Loryn Super Connector Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Las Vegas Posts: 12,853	FUCKIN' ROCK ON, that woman kicks ass. It's about time we hear from real women and not these pussy little women libers! Me Me Me Me Me Me Me Me Me.....................I want to be treated like a man and a woman. Mine Mine Mine Mine Mine, I am the only one to make decisions on babies. YOU CAN'T HAVE BOTH BITCH! Clicky little bitchy girls are such a pet peeve. I know they are great for men because men know who they can bang for a night, but to hang around those chicks makes me ill. Tee-Hee-he Tee-Hee-he Tee Hee-he bounce bounce bounce! __________________ ~ loryn@loryntaylor . com ~ RIP TD

06-26-2007, 11:13 AM	#20
Loch Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 7,674	pretty fucking good LOL __________________ Contact us for Beta store access (4000 HD/SD productions) - Editing - Encoding/Post production ICQ - 277 862 930 E-mail casper /@/ cool-content.com

06-26-2007, 11:15 AM	#21
Ace_luffy www.creationcrew.com Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: CREATIONCREW.COM CREATIONCREW.COM CREATIONCREW.COM CREATIONCREW.COM CREATIONCREW.COM CREATIONCREW.COM Posts: 12,110	nice info women likes more expressive... yummy.. __________________ ++ Adult and Mainstream Websites Designs \| 10 banners for only $50 \| html5 Banners ++ email : [email protected] Telegram : https://t.me/creationcrew \| HTML5/Responsive Site - Div/CSS - ElevatedX - NATs - Wordpress

06-26-2007, 11:31 AM	#23
sweetcuties Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Somewhere Posts: 5,859	funny shit, some are good __________________

06-26-2007, 11:54 AM	#25
Quagmire Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Stinkin' up your bathroom Posts: 6,490	Loryn's post is hotter than the list. I got wood reading it. __________________

06-26-2007, 12:32 PM	#26
tranza ICQ: 197-556-237 Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: BRASIL !!! Posts: 57,559	I bet that nobody is going to read that whole list. __________________ I'm just a newbie.

06-26-2007, 12:38 PM	#28
ADL Josh Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 3,026	awesome! __________________ ICQ: 395-433-632

06-26-2007, 01:32 PM	#29
MaDalton I am Amazing Content! Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 39,828	sounds like my gf - i guess i'm lucky __________________ AmazingContent.com - providing only the best content and service since 2003 Monetize your content on Veegaz.com - one of Germanies largest VOD sites Got German traffic? We convert it into money for you! Skype: madalton02826 - Email: oltecconsult [at] gmail [dot] com

06-26-2007, 01:52 PM	#30
Swish Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: San Diego, CA Posts: 1,421	Excellent __________________ Naughty America - Director of Technology It's a CELEBRATION bitches!! For the hottest content promote Naughty America! swish at naughtyamerica dot com \| ICQ: 226 737 620 \| See Who I Am At AdultWhosWho.com!

06-26-2007, 01:54 PM	#31
GITZINGER Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: up your sisters ass Posts: 929	"If you haven't showered that day, and things smell a little...fishy...perhaps demanding oral sex is a little ridiculous of you." __________________ Your momma was a ho!!!

06-26-2007, 01:57 PM	#32
ePorn Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 301	that's good shit! the chick that wrote that is either a some tranny closet fuck or so fucking ugly that men go blind looking at her. Otherwise, i gotta meet this chick...

06-26-2007, 01:57 PM	#33
PR_Sebas Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 2,825	13. Allowing your crotch to resemble the amazon. Yes, waxing hurts. Yes, some people don't want to go bare. Thats fine. If you like bush, great. If you have sensitive skin and can't shave, I feel for you. But for the love of Christ, trim that s**t if you want him to spend any time down there. lol.. yah really sounds like a girl talking there... sounds like one of those "girls" from some dating site chatroom asking another girl to show her tits when its clearly a guy... __________________

06-26-2007, 02:18 PM	#35
harvey Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: 127.0.0.1 Posts: 9,266	nice. however, we need once of those time line pics in this thread, this same list was posted at GFY 1 or 2 years ago __________________ This post is endorsed by CIA, KGB, MI6, the Mafia, Illuminati, Kim Jong Il, Worldwide Ninjas Association, Klingon Empire and lolcats. Don't mess around with it, just accept it and embrace the truth

06-26-2007, 02:31 PM	#36
Vick! Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: 20 00'24.00" N, 75 09'00.00 W Posts: 6,882	Old but still awsome..

06-26-2007, 02:50 PM	#38
kristin GOO! Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Back Home : ) Posts: 9,768	I'm more of a guy then ... Sex, orgasm, sleep. No cuddling. __________________ Vacares rules. "Usually only fat guys have the kind of knowledge and ability that Kristin has."

06-26-2007, 03:00 PM	#39
_andy_ Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 487	That sounds like a guy wrote that.

06-26-2007, 03:06 PM	#40
Cash Click on my TCG signature Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 20,825	It's the first time I hear these Btw, she uses s**t many times __________________ $9.95/month for 15000 GB bandwidth monthly, unlimited (sub)domains and MySQL5, PHP4/5, 500 GB disk storage! ; use any of these invitation codes: 216263692101; 408636009193; 846090586647; my ICQ 30160426!

06-26-2007, 03:36 PM	#41
madawgz 8.8.8.8 Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Noordermarkt Posts: 30,509	wow thats an awesome list __________________ TAEMDLRMSKRJIXMRLSMRJ.

06-26-2007, 03:48 PM	#42
Hollywood Horwitz Porn To ROCK! Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Hollywood Posts: 4,357	I agree with 90% of this! __________________ Ross Horwitz Skype: RossAngeles666 Online Ad Sales / Email / Display Ads / Mobile Cell.323.949.4313 [email protected]

06-26-2007, 04:36 PM	#44
SomeCreep :glugglug Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Where the Wild Things Are Posts: 26,118	pretty good, I like #4. __________________ Webair Hosting I use and recommend Webair for hosting.

06-26-2007, 04:40 PM	#45
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,940	I like this one lol..women just don't understand 38. Throwing a bitch fit when he asks for a 3 some. Its the American dream. __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*