West Nile Virus - GoFuckYourself.com

ADL Colin · 08-25-2002, 09:26 AM

The West Nile Virus :: Anatomy of a killer ::

She's claimed 20 US victims already this year and the deathtoll is climbing. West Nile is her
poison. The mosquito is to blame. Dirty little pest. That is what you hear on CNN anyway. But hey, Johnny Quest, I have a different story to tell. The mosquito has an accomplice. You should have suspected the story was incomplete. Mosquitos don't just go around sucking each other's blood now, do they? So how does a mosquito get the virus in the first place? I checked with the experts. The Center for Disease Control in Atlanta, Georgia. The answer, they said, is birds. When a bird is bitten by a mosquito and infected with West Nile, there is a 4-5 day period where the bird can then transmit the virus to another mosquito. In that time, some birds will travel hundreds of miles. "Crow Airlines at your service."

I'm sure that at one time or another you suspected that birds might be evil. I think everyone has. At least, those who have read "The Raven" or "The Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner" or seen Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds" has. You think these were empty works of fiction? Think again. These were messages broadcast into the future. Forget all that talk of metaphors, similes, and allusions your high school teacher was going on about. These guys spelled it out simple. Birds are Evil. Don't you ever forget it. Now, I could go on and on about the evils of birds but I trust that if you think about it just a little bit, you'll come to the same realizations that I have. Birds are Evil and they gotta go. Recognize that and take action. Don't worry, son. I have a plan.

First, we'll need a scapegoat. Let's start with the pigeon. Ask yourself a simple question. What is a pigeon good for? Unless getting in our way and shitting on our sidewalks is a benefit, I'd say it's fucking worthless. Some of you might object with "Aha! Web of Life!" Let me tell you something. The only thing up or down from a pigeon in the great foodchain of life is stale bread and animal crackers. That mainstay of the Steel Jungle lives a completely pointless existence. Let's move on.

We'll also need some new laws. How about a little legislation, America? First, let's ban that dirty good for nothing shitting machine known as the pigeon from all our glorious cities. After that, we'll work our way up the pecking order. Somewhere along the way we'll take out the crow and all her friends. Then we'll have legislated out that nasty old West Nile virus once and for all.

These new laws I'm talking about shouldn't just be empty declarations either. I propose old fashioned avian death games like I used to play. When I was ten years old, I would shoot peacocks that roamed my neighborhood with a BB gun. Never killed 'em. Just taught 'em a
lesson. "Hey, we're in charge, p-e-a-c-u-n-t!" This turned out be excellent training. When I got a
little older, my uncle introduced me to the .22. It was then that I became a certified bird-killer. Believe me, I've thought this through. I propose we arm our city's ten year-olds with BB guns. Let them kill birds instead of each other. Let's be fair. All the country kids have BB guns already. Hell, it'll be excellent training. Kill two birds with
one stone.

Don't you think the The War on Drugs is getting a little old and boring anyway?. It's time we reappropriate those funds and declare the War on Birds. While we're waiting for our lawmakers to react to our brilliant proposals, we can do what all good Americans do. Let's celebrate our victories before we start. I recommend a Summer version of Thanksgiving. Go get yourself a good chicken or duck and feast tonight. It's the least you could do for the cause.

Me? I'm breaking out the scarecrows, getting my duck calls, and preparing for the Great War.
Why don't you write me an email and tell me about any acts of Bird Terrorism you commit?
You'll need experience anyway. Once the funding starts flying, you'll be in an ideal position
to take advantage of the situation. Funding for the elimination of viruses runs into the billions of dollars. My first research grant proposal will be "The Elimination of Disease Vectors. A Case by Case Study". I figure that'll be worth $20 million. Don't worry, I'm sure there are millions of other good ideas. And hell, one thing we know how to do is fight a good war and keep fighting it. Let's milk this sucker for all it's worth.

mrthumbs · 08-25-2002, 09:29 AM

Disturbing..

SCOOTER · 08-25-2002, 09:37 AM

You need

You're one of a kind !!

UnseenWorld · 08-25-2002, 11:01 AM

20 people in a country of 250 million is less than a drop in the bucket. We aren't exactly facing a plague just yet.

ADL Colin · 08-25-2002, 11:16 AM

Of birds or moscquitos? ;-)

.:Frog:. · 08-25-2002, 11:47 AM

I don't like the style the article was written in. I stopped reading as soon as the article was suggesting birds are evil, then gave references to popular movies to back up that claim.
Give us a break - shove your horseshit down someone elses throat, we aren't interested, or buying it.
Now take a hike Colin.

Babaganoosh · 08-25-2002, 11:58 AM

West Nile is a joke. It's not really that serious. If you are in good health, you will recover from it. It is dangerous for children and the elderly, but no more than chicken pox or the flu. It's just a new virus with a scary sounding name. Nothing to be afraid of really.

ADL Colin · 08-25-2002, 12:16 PM

Frog, it's a joke, son.

Take yer pills and then GFY!

.:Frog:. · 08-25-2002, 12:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Colin
Frog, it's a joke, son.

Take yer pills and then GFY!

I was posting that msg as calm as can be drinking my morning coffee.
Might have sounded worked up but I wasn't.
Instead of finding it funny, the article or joke as you call it was just stupid and a waste of time to contine reading.
Now

Pornwolf · 08-25-2002, 12:39 PM

West Nile is nothing compared to the little known East River Virus. It has infected more people than any virus discovered in thelast 20 years. It has been known to make people aggravated and move faster than normal. It also twists the psyche of the people it infects and makes them spontaneously say "Fuck You!" "Are you lookin at me?" & "Fugggedabboutit!"

It also causes a weird complications such as BlowYourHornitis which causes people to blow their horn if they are forced to wait in traffic for more than 2 seconds. It also causes the people infected to eat curious amounts of Bagels and plain pizza slices as well as questionable Chinese food. (It could be cat, no one really knows) You will also have a predisposition to paying enormous amounts of money to live in spaces as small as 350 square feet.

This malady affects 15,060,900 people according to the 2000 census. If you have lived in the New York Metropolitan area for more than 6 months you are probably already infected.

matty · 08-25-2002, 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Armed & Hammered
West Nile is a joke. It's not really that serious. If you are in good health, you will recover from it. It is dangerous for children and the elderly, but no more than chicken pox or the flu. It's just a new virus with a scary sounding name. Nothing to be afraid of really.

I couldnt agree more, i had encephalitis a few years back... Landed me in a hospital bed, but in a few days and a few spinal taps later, i was back to normal. True story.

burn · 08-25-2002, 01:29 PM

I have it!

Babaganoosh · 08-25-2002, 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by matty

I couldnt agree more, i had encephalitis a few years back... Landed me in a hospital bed, but in a few days and a few spinal taps later, i was back to normal. True story.

Sure, that can happen. West Nile Encephalitis happens in less than 1% of West Nile Virus patients though. There are just as many possible complications from the common cold or flu.

matty · 08-25-2002, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Armed & Hammered

Sure, that can happen. West Nile Encephalitis happens in less than 1% of West Nile Virus patients though. There are just as many possible complications from the common cold or flu.

Yeah its a toughy to contract. My GF was pronounced dead 3x as an infant because of Encephalitis. Its not thing to fear though now until you reach the age of 65 - 70.

08-25-2002, 09:26 AM	#1
ADL Colin Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Tube Titans, USA Posts: 11,929	West Nile Virus The West Nile Virus :: Anatomy of a killer :: She's claimed 20 US victims already this year and the deathtoll is climbing. West Nile is her poison. The mosquito is to blame. Dirty little pest. That is what you hear on CNN anyway. But hey, Johnny Quest, I have a different story to tell. The mosquito has an accomplice. You should have suspected the story was incomplete. Mosquitos don't just go around sucking each other's blood now, do they? So how does a mosquito get the virus in the first place? I checked with the experts. The Center for Disease Control in Atlanta, Georgia. The answer, they said, is birds. When a bird is bitten by a mosquito and infected with West Nile, there is a 4-5 day period where the bird can then transmit the virus to another mosquito. In that time, some birds will travel hundreds of miles. "Crow Airlines at your service." I'm sure that at one time or another you suspected that birds might be evil. I think everyone has. At least, those who have read "The Raven" or "The Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner" or seen Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds" has. You think these were empty works of fiction? Think again. These were messages broadcast into the future. Forget all that talk of metaphors, similes, and allusions your high school teacher was going on about. These guys spelled it out simple. Birds are Evil. Don't you ever forget it. Now, I could go on and on about the evils of birds but I trust that if you think about it just a little bit, you'll come to the same realizations that I have. Birds are Evil and they gotta go. Recognize that and take action. Don't worry, son. I have a plan. First, we'll need a scapegoat. Let's start with the pigeon. Ask yourself a simple question. What is a pigeon good for? Unless getting in our way and shitting on our sidewalks is a benefit, I'd say it's fucking worthless. Some of you might object with "Aha! Web of Life!" Let me tell you something. The only thing up or down from a pigeon in the great foodchain of life is stale bread and animal crackers. That mainstay of the Steel Jungle lives a completely pointless existence. Let's move on. We'll also need some new laws. How about a little legislation, America? First, let's ban that dirty good for nothing shitting machine known as the pigeon from all our glorious cities. After that, we'll work our way up the pecking order. Somewhere along the way we'll take out the crow and all her friends. Then we'll have legislated out that nasty old West Nile virus once and for all. These new laws I'm talking about shouldn't just be empty declarations either. I propose old fashioned avian death games like I used to play. When I was ten years old, I would shoot peacocks that roamed my neighborhood with a BB gun. Never killed 'em. Just taught 'em a lesson. "Hey, we're in charge, p-e-a-c-u-n-t!" This turned out be excellent training. When I got a little older, my uncle introduced me to the .22. It was then that I became a certified bird-killer. Believe me, I've thought this through. I propose we arm our city's ten year-olds with BB guns. Let them kill birds instead of each other. Let's be fair. All the country kids have BB guns already. Hell, it'll be excellent training. Kill two birds with one stone. Don't you think the The War on Drugs is getting a little old and boring anyway?. It's time we reappropriate those funds and declare the War on Birds. While we're waiting for our lawmakers to react to our brilliant proposals, we can do what all good Americans do. Let's celebrate our victories before we start. I recommend a Summer version of Thanksgiving. Go get yourself a good chicken or duck and feast tonight. It's the least you could do for the cause. Me? I'm breaking out the scarecrows, getting my duck calls, and preparing for the Great War. Why don't you write me an email and tell me about any acts of Bird Terrorism you commit? You'll need experience anyway. Once the funding starts flying, you'll be in an ideal position to take advantage of the situation. Funding for the elimination of viruses runs into the billions of dollars. My first research grant proposal will be "The Elimination of Disease Vectors. A Case by Case Study". I figure that'll be worth $20 million. Don't worry, I'm sure there are millions of other good ideas. And hell, one thing we know how to do is fight a good war and keep fighting it. Let's milk this sucker for all it's worth. __________________ Adult Date Link - $50 PPS starting NOW! -- good and JUICY! skype = "adultdatelink" Last edited by ADL Colin; 08-25-2002 at 09:27 AM..

08-25-2002, 09:37 AM	#3
SCOOTER Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 4,010	You need You're one of a kind !! __________________ Scooter [email protected]

08-25-2002, 11:01 AM	#4
UnseenWorld Confirmed User Join Date: May 2001 Location: Portland, OR, USA Posts: 5,279	20 people in a country of 250 million is less than a drop in the bucket. We aren't exactly facing a plague just yet. __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

08-25-2002, 11:16 AM	#5
ADL Colin Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Tube Titans, USA Posts: 11,929	Of birds or moscquitos? ;-) __________________ Adult Date Link - $50 PPS starting NOW! -- good and JUICY! skype = "adultdatelink"

08-25-2002, 11:47 AM	#6
.:Frog:. Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: ~ C A N A D A ~ Posts: 2,123	I don't like the style the article was written in. I stopped reading as soon as the article was suggesting birds are evil, then gave references to popular movies to back up that claim. Give us a break - shove your horseshit down someone elses throat, we aren't interested, or buying it. Now take a hike Colin. Last edited by .:Frog:.; 08-25-2002 at 12:00 PM..

08-25-2002, 09:29 AM	#2
mrthumbs salad tossing sig guy Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: mrthumbs*gmail.com Posts: 11,702	Disturbing..

08-25-2002, 11:58 AM	#7
Babaganoosh ♥♥♥ Likes Hugs ♥♥♥ Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: /home Posts: 15,841	West Nile is a joke. It's not really that serious. If you are in good health, you will recover from it. It is dangerous for children and the elderly, but no more than chicken pox or the flu. It's just a new virus with a scary sounding name. Nothing to be afraid of really.

08-25-2002, 12:16 PM	#8
ADL Colin Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Tube Titans, USA Posts: 11,929	Frog, it's a joke, son. Take yer pills and then GFY! __________________ Adult Date Link - $50 PPS starting NOW! -- good and JUICY! skype = "adultdatelink"

08-25-2002, 12:39 PM	#10
Pornwolf Drunk and Unruly Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Hollywood Posts: 22,712	West Nile is nothing compared to the little known East River Virus. It has infected more people than any virus discovered in thelast 20 years. It has been known to make people aggravated and move faster than normal. It also twists the psyche of the people it infects and makes them spontaneously say "Fuck You!" "Are you lookin at me?" & "Fugggedabboutit!" It also causes a weird complications such as *BlowYourHornitis* which causes people to blow their horn if they are forced to wait in traffic for more than 2 seconds. It also causes the people infected to eat curious amounts of Bagels and plain pizza slices as well as questionable Chinese food. (It could be cat, no one really knows) You will also have a predisposition to paying enormous amounts of money to live in spaces as small as 350 square feet. This malady affects 15,060,900 people according to the 2000 census. If you have lived in the New York Metropolitan area for more than 6 months you are probably already infected.

08-25-2002, 01:29 PM	#12
burn Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 507	I have it! __________________ Trade traffic with my sites!