Thirty things porno producers would have us believe. - GoFuckYourself.com

Mr.Right - Banned For Life · 05-15-2007, 06:27 AM

1. Women wear high heels to bed.

2. Men are never impotent.

3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.

5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.

6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.

7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.

8. Women always orgasm when men do.

9. A blowjob will always get a woman out of a speeding fine.

10. All women are noisy fucks.

11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.

12. Those tits are real.

13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.

14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.

15. If there are two of them they "high five" each other.(and the girl isn't disgusted!)

16. Double penetration makes women smile. (And DVDA really makes them tickled pink)

17. Asian men don't exist.

18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.

19. There's a plot.

20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.

21. Nurses suck patients' cocks.

22. Men always pull out.

23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.

24. Women never have headaches... or periods.

25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".

26. Assholes are always clean.

27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.

28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.

29. Men don't have to beg.

and finally...

30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

who · 05-15-2007, 06:28 AM

haha

Thanks, needed a laugh

Sexsitesurfer · 05-15-2007, 06:39 AM

Wow, so many of those ring true! Scary.... How do we sell this shit?

Mr.Right - Banned For Life · 05-15-2007, 06:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sexsitesurfer

Wow, so many of those ring true! Scary.... How do we sell this shit?

Drake · 05-15-2007, 06:46 AM

hahaha ;)

Angelo22 · 05-15-2007, 06:49 AM

Hahahahah.... great!

gornyhuy · 05-15-2007, 06:49 AM

Nice!!! I got several laughs out of that.

Mr.Right - Banned For Life · 05-15-2007, 06:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gornyhuy

Nice!!! I got several laughs out of that.

Scott McD · 05-15-2007, 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Batts

26. Assholes are always clean.

Some of those are great !!!

BigCashCrew · 05-15-2007, 06:08 PM

Those were great. Too funny

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 05-15-2007, 06:24 PM

You're giving away some of my trade secrets...

ADG

notabook · 05-15-2007, 06:43 PM

14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
ROFL... I just pictured the Kool-Aid Man cumming. That's horrible. "OH YEAH!"

Malicious Biz · 05-15-2007, 07:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by notabook

14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
ROFL... I just pictured the Kool-Aid Man cumming. That's horrible. "OH YEAH!"

HAHA! even worse is the koolaid man is gay content. take a look at his site.

http://www.kraftfoods.com/koolaid/2001/ka_flavors.html

he has a juicy rainbow shooting up his ass, while cupping fruits in both hands.

TDF · 05-15-2007, 07:03 PM

i thought all convo with people start off with bad dialogue

05-15-2007, 07:09 PM

Hahah! I've read this before, but I love it! This needa video montage :P

notabook · 05-15-2007, 07:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Malicious Biz

HAHA! even worse is the koolaid man is gay content. take a look at his site.

http://www.kraftfoods.com/koolaid/2001/ka_flavors.html

he has a juicy rainbow shooting up his ass, while cupping fruits in both hands.

WTFFFF... and they say porn producers are trying to corrupt the youth? That fucker has a huge rainbow volcano shooting up his ass!

"Come Experience the FRUITY FLAVORS of Kool-Aid"

They aren't fooling anybody.. fucking queers.

pornmasta · 05-15-2007, 07:38 PM

There is no need to wonder, they only take the best sequence....
Did you know that sometimes even heroes are bored ?
Of course this is boring to see that's why they don't show it :lol

Webby · 05-15-2007, 07:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Batts

Thirty things porno producers would have us believe.

You forgot - All women wear necklaces and heavy amounts of jewellery.

PS The amount of jewellery always seems to be pro rata the percieved "class" the shooter thinks his content falls into

WWC-Moe B. · 05-15-2007, 08:02 PM

haha... that's so true

CurrentlySober · 05-15-2007, 08:27 PM

My fave is the 'asian men dont exist'

tabasco · 05-16-2007, 01:22 AM

Teen solo girls have always "only just turned 18"... even five years after the site opened they're still 18. ;)

polish_aristocrat · 05-16-2007, 01:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Batts

and finally...

30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

isnt that normal?

Sexsitesurfer · 05-16-2007, 01:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by polish_aristocrat

isnt that normal?

Well, it should be!

dig0 · 05-16-2007, 01:40 AM

Haha, I love these facts.

There was a bigger list here a while ago

thebossxxx · 05-16-2007, 01:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Batts

1. Women wear high heels to bed.

2. Men are never impotent.

3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.

5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.

6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.

7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.

8. Women always orgasm when men do.

9. A blowjob will always get a woman out of a speeding fine.

10. All women are noisy fucks.

11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.

12. Those tits are real.

13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.

14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.

15. If there are two of them they "high five" each other.(and the girl isn't disgusted!)

16. Double penetration makes women smile. (And DVDA really makes them tickled pink)

17. Asian men don't exist.

18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.

19. There's a plot.

20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.

21. Nurses suck patients' cocks.

22. Men always pull out.

23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.

24. Women never have headaches... or periods.

25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".

26. Assholes are always clean.

27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.

28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.

29. Men don't have to beg.

and finally...

30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

Funny post!

lbc213 · 05-16-2007, 02:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Batts

28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.

NickB. · 05-16-2007, 03:23 AM

26. Assholes are always clean.

HAHAHAHAH THIS just made me spit out my beer while laughing roflol

Gary_TLX · 05-16-2007, 04:01 AM

LOL, some of those are awesome and so true.

JamesK2 · 05-16-2007, 04:04 AM

lol so true

Iron Fist · 05-16-2007, 04:12 AM

Truelly awesome

Wilbo · 05-16-2007, 04:19 AM

#6 has to be true or I'm gonna be really really depressed

Buzz · 05-16-2007, 04:29 AM

I've noticed that some facts are true in real life

7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
true

8. Women always orgasm when men do.
well, sometimes

12. Those tits are real.
yeah baby!

20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt
true either!

27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
hmmm, yes

cranki · 05-16-2007, 04:30 AM

hahahaha, that's awesome

05-15-2007, 06:27 AM	#1
Mr.Right - Banned For Life I guarantee it Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 18,314	Thirty things porno producers would have us believe. 1. Women wear high heels to bed. 2. Men are never impotent. 3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory. 4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her. 5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm. 6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men. 7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob. 8. Women always orgasm when men do. 9. A blowjob will always get a woman out of a speeding fine. 10. All women are noisy fucks. 11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background. 12. Those tits are real. 13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt. 14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum. 15. If there are two of them they "high five" each other.(and the girl isn't disgusted!) 16. Double penetration makes women smile. (And DVDA really makes them tickled pink) 17. Asian men don't exist. 18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth. 19. There's a plot. 20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt. 21. Nurses suck patients' cocks. 22. Men always pull out. 23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you. 24. Women never have headaches... or periods. 25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it". 26. Assholes are always clean. 27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned. 28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there. 29. Men don't have to beg. and finally... 30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

05-15-2007, 06:39 AM	#3
Sexsitesurfer Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Porn land Posts: 3,157	Wow, so many of those ring true! Scary.... How do we sell this shit? __________________ Paul DDF Productions Marketing manager Skype: Marketing.DDF ICQ: 316302313 Cell: +36 30 732 6076 [email protected]

05-15-2007, 06:49 AM	#7
gornyhuy Chafed. Join Date: May 2002 Location: Face Down in Pussy Posts: 18,041	Nice!!! I got several laughs out of that. __________________ icq:159548293

05-15-2007, 06:24 PM	#11
AsianDivaGirlsWebDude Purveyor, Fine Asian Porn Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: San Francisco Bay Area Posts: 38,323	You're giving away some of my trade secrets... ADG __________________ Asian Diva Girls - Exclusive Photos and Videos Asian Diva Girls Affiliate Program (50% ccBill Revshare)

05-15-2007, 06:43 PM	#12
notabook Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Not a Library! Posts: 9,748	14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum. ROFL... I just pictured the Kool-Aid Man cumming. That's horrible. "OH YEAH!" __________________

05-15-2007, 06:28 AM	#2
who So Fucking Banned Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: ICQ #23642053 Posts: 19,593	haha Thanks, needed a laugh

05-15-2007, 06:46 AM	#5
Drake Hello world! Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 12,508	hahaha ;)

05-15-2007, 06:49 AM	#6
Angelo22 Writer Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 3,123	Hahahahah.... great! __________________ MAKE MORE MONEY FROM YOUR WEB TRAFFIC - 15% BONUS And contact me if you need high quality translating and writing work done - angelo22 (AT) gmail (DOT) com

05-15-2007, 06:08 PM	#10
BigCashCrew Registered User Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 3,570	Those were great. Too funny

05-15-2007, 07:03 PM	#14
TDF Triple OG nigga on GFY Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: in the BP4L family compound Posts: 27,296	i thought all convo with people start off with bad dialogue __________________ Sig heil

05-15-2007, 07:09 PM	#15
shermo Guest Posts: n/a	Hahah! I've read this before, but I love it! This needa video montage :P

05-15-2007, 07:38 PM	#17
pornmasta Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 19,284	There is no need to wonder, they only take the best sequence.... Did you know that sometimes even heroes are bored ? Of course this is boring to see that's why they don't show it :lol

05-15-2007, 08:02 PM	#19
WWC-Moe B. Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 2,546	haha... that's so true __________________ Moe B. [email protected] ICQ - 286024627 Now get full videos with Matching High Res Photos !!! " CONTENT PROVIDER OF THE YEAR! " ~ XBIZ 2007, 2008 and 2009 AWARDS WINNER New IP-TV Streaming Technology Feeds for Your Site ! www.WorldWideFeeds.com !!!

05-15-2007, 08:27 PM	#20
CurrentlySober Too lazy to wipe my ass Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: A Public Bathroom Posts: 38,689	My fave is the 'asian men dont exist' __________________ My AI Handywork... My Dream Gal... XXX 👁️ 👍️ 💩

05-16-2007, 01:22 AM	#21
tabasco Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: In a van down by the river Posts: 2,624	Teen solo girls have always "only just turned 18"... even five years after the site opened they're still 18. ;) __________________ "There is no other way to see a thing except to look at it" - fatfoo

05-16-2007, 01:40 AM	#24
dig0 Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 440	Haha, I love these facts. There was a bigger list here a while ago __________________ Sig too big http://www.gofuckyourself.com/gfy_faqs.html Want to use a large banner in your sig??? Contact Eric about getting on as an advertiser - eric AT adult.com

05-16-2007, 03:23 AM	#27
NickB. Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 8,855	26. Assholes are always clean. HAHAHAHAH THIS just made me spit out my beer while laughing roflol

05-16-2007, 04:01 AM	#28
Gary_TLX Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Budapest Posts: 776	LOL, some of those are awesome and so true. __________________ Quality custom exclusive content: ICQ: 286786153 email: contact(at)tlxproductions(dot)com

05-16-2007, 04:04 AM	#29
JamesK2 Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 6,589	lol so true __________________

05-16-2007, 04:12 AM	#30
Iron Fist Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 23,400	Truelly awesome

05-16-2007, 04:19 AM	#31
Wilbo Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Baltimore Posts: 2,082	#6 has to be true or I'm gonna be really really depressed

05-16-2007, 04:29 AM	#32
Buzz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 1,908	I've noticed that some facts are true in real life 7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob. true 8. Women always orgasm when men do. well, sometimes 12. Those tits are real. yeah baby! 20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt true either! 27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned. hmmm, yes

05-16-2007, 04:30 AM	#33
cranki Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Café del Mar Posts: 5,162	hahahaha, that's awesome