Thirty things porno producers would have us believe.
 

1. Women wear high heels to bed.

2. Men are never impotent.

3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.

5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.

6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.

7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.

8. Women always orgasm when men do.

9. A blowjob will always get a woman out of a speeding fine.

10. All women are noisy fucks.

11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.

12. Those tits are real.

13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.

14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.

15. If there are two of them they "high five" each other.(and the girl isn't disgusted!)

16. Double penetration makes women smile. (And DVDA really makes them tickled pink)

17. Asian men don't exist.

18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.

19. There's a plot.

20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.

21. Nurses suck patients' cocks.

22. Men always pull out.

23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.

24. Women never have headaches... or periods.

25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".

26. Assholes are always clean.

27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.

28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.

29. Men don't have to beg.

and finally...

30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

haha :) Thanks, needed a laugh :)

Wow, so many of those ring true! Scary.... How do we sell this shit?

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

hahaha ;)

Hahahahah.... great!

Nice!!! I got several laughs out of that.

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Some of those are great !!! :thumbsup

Those were great. Too funny

You're giving away some of my trade secrets... :1orglaugh

ADG

14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
ROFL... I just pictured the Kool-Aid Man cumming. That's horrible. "OH YEAH!"

HAHA! even worse is the koolaid man is gay content. take a look at his site.

http://www.kraftfoods.com/koolaid/2001/ka_flavors.html

he has a juicy rainbow shooting up his ass, while cupping fruits in both hands.

i thought all convo with people start off with bad dialogue

Hahah! I've read this before, but I love it! This needa video montage :P

WTFFFF... and they say porn producers are trying to corrupt the youth? That fucker has a huge rainbow volcano shooting up his ass!

"Come Experience the FRUITY FLAVORS of Kool-Aid"

They aren't fooling anybody.. fucking queers.

There is no need to wonder, they only take the best sequence....
Did you know that sometimes even heroes are bored ?
Of course this is boring to see that's why they don't show it :lol

:winkwink:

You forgot - All women wear necklaces and heavy amounts of jewellery.


PS The amount of jewellery always seems to be pro rata the percieved "class" the shooter thinks his content falls into :pimp

haha... that's so true

My fave is the 'asian men dont exist' :)

Teen solo girls have always "only just turned 18"... even five years after the site opened they're still 18. ;)

isnt that normal? :helpme

Well, it should be! :Oh crap

Haha, I love these facts.

There was a bigger list here a while ago

Funny post! :thumbsup

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

26. Assholes are always clean.

HAHAHAHAH THIS just made me spit out my beer while laughing roflol

LOL, some of those are awesome and so true. :)

lol so true :1orglaugh

Truelly awesome :)

#6 has to be true or I'm gonna be really really depressed :Oh crap

I've noticed that some facts are true in real life :)

7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
true

8. Women always orgasm when men do.
well, sometimes :pimp

12. Those tits are real.
yeah baby!

20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt
true either!

27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
hmmm, yes :pimp

hahahaha, that's awesome :1orglaugh