Homosexuality is an ABOMINATION! - GoFuckYourself.com

luv$ · 04-29-2007, 10:26 PM

Insert timeline pic below - but first time I read it and very funny:

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,
Jim

tony286 · 04-29-2007, 10:28 PM

That is great

cj_purve · 04-29-2007, 10:54 PM

hahahahhahahahahaha
classic

Big_Red · 04-29-2007, 10:56 PM

wheres that timeline pic?

notabook · 04-29-2007, 11:10 PM

heywood · 04-29-2007, 11:22 PM

haha that probably is old as sin, but I haven't seen it. I think I should memorize it.

I love bible thumpers.

darnit · 04-30-2007, 12:00 AM

New to me

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 04-30-2007, 12:04 AM

ADG Webmaster

nikooo · 04-30-2007, 01:35 AM

great........

dozey · 04-30-2007, 02:36 AM

everestcash · 04-30-2007, 05:37 AM

lol very funny!
tnx for sharing)

Wizzo · 04-30-2007, 05:56 AM

HAHA... great stuff!

PaulB IYP · 04-30-2007, 07:23 AM

that is gold

Brad · 04-30-2007, 07:44 AM

I'll have to keep that one in my back pocket for later use

JayDeeZee · 04-30-2007, 08:29 AM

LOL...That's a great one

notabook · 04-30-2007, 08:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dozey

WarChild · 04-30-2007, 09:09 AM

That's pretty much all Old Testament stuff. Remember, Christians are all about the New Testament. Not that I believe any of it.

04-29-2007, 10:26 PM	#1
luv$ !$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$ Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Paper Street Posts: 6,158	Homosexuality is an ABOMINATION! Insert timeline pic below - but first time I read it and very funny: Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative: Dear Dr. Laura: Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them: When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them? I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her? I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians? I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself? A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here? Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die? I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves? My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14) I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging. Your devoted fan, Jim __________________ Domain Auction - now till 12:01AM on the 2nd... Paper Streeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet Cash The Real Workout - Innocent High - Oye Loca - Her Freshman Year - Solo Interviews - This Girl Sucks. ** HQ Fresh ORIGINAL sites.

04-29-2007, 10:56 PM	#4
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04-29-2007, 11:10 PM	#5
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04-30-2007, 12:04 AM	#8
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04-30-2007, 01:35 AM	#9
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04-29-2007, 10:28 PM	#2
tony286 lurker Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: atlanta Posts: 57,021	That is great

04-29-2007, 10:54 PM	#3
cj_purve Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 1,065	hahahahhahahahahaha classic

04-29-2007, 11:22 PM	#6
heywood So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Wilsonville, Oregon Posts: 468	haha that probably is old as sin, but I haven't seen it. I think I should memorize it. I love bible thumpers.

04-30-2007, 12:00 AM	#7
darnit Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Teh Interweb Posts: 2,439	New to me

04-30-2007, 02:36 AM	#10
dozey Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Moonland Posts: 552

04-30-2007, 05:37 AM	#11
everestcash Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 2,194	lol very funny! tnx for sharing) __________________ Got solo girls/teen traffic? Promote our exclusive solo girl sites and boost your income!

04-30-2007, 05:56 AM	#12
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04-30-2007, 07:23 AM	#13
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04-30-2007, 07:44 AM	#14
Brad Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Toronto Posts: 2,510	I'll have to keep that one in my back pocket for later use __________________ Affiliate Manager/Media Buyer ICQ 376 978 529 Skype: bradleyjwscott [email protected]

04-30-2007, 08:29 AM	#15
JayDeeZee Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,595	LOL...That's a great one __________________

04-30-2007, 09:09 AM	#17
WarChild Let slip the dogs of war. Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Bermuda Posts: 17,263	That's pretty much all Old Testament stuff. Remember, Christians are all about the New Testament. Not that I believe any of it. __________________ .