Bones of JESUS found! Christians SHOCKED! - Page 2 - GoFuckYourself.com

Love Sex · 02-25-2007, 09:48 AM

Jesus died in a gang bang

Splum · 02-25-2007, 09:49 AM

The DNA testing wasnt done to determine the bones were from Jesus the DNA testing were done to see if each set of bones was family. The tomb marked "Jesus" and the tomb marked "Mary Magdalene" were found by DNA testing to not be related, which could only mean they were husband and wife as they were buried in the same tomb.

StuartD · 02-25-2007, 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Splum

What the fuck are you talking about? I am Christian I went to Christian schools I know what the Shroud of Turin is and I know what scientists have said about it. But just to appease your ignorant ass...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shroud_of_Turin

I wasn't saying that to you.

I was talking to DorkJedi.... he heard someone speak of it once upon a time and poked his nose in here all high and mighty like he knew the secrets of the universe.

Praguer · 02-25-2007, 10:00 AM

Wow! check out the discussion posts at the bottom of the page, LOOOOOL.

Posted by joe
February 25, 2007
"Another attack on Christianity that won't prove to be true. Hollywood just wants to get rid of Christianity because they all love drugs, 12-year-old whores and getting drunk all the time and living a gay lifestyle"

tony286 · 02-25-2007, 10:02 AM

You mean a book of fairy tales isnt real amazing

Theo · 02-25-2007, 10:02 AM

Splum · 02-25-2007, 10:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StuartD

I wasn't saying that to you. I was talking to DorkJedi.... he heard someone speak of it once upon a time and poked his nose in here all high and mighty like he knew the secrets of the universe.

Noted my bad on GFY Im used to getting attacked.

psili · 02-25-2007, 10:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StuartD

I wasn't saying that to you.

I was talking to DorkJedi.... he heard someone speak of it once upon a time and poked his nose in here all high and mighty like he knew the secrets of the universe.

See Stu, this is much like the last thread where I apologized: one person can read the exact same words but interpret them differently than another. And it really is quite fascinating when you put it into perspective that it's been happening since the written word has existed.

Splum · 02-25-2007, 10:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by psili

See Stu, this is much like the last thread where I apologized: one person can read the exact same words but interpret them differently than another. And it really is quite fascinating when you put it into perspective that it's been happening since the written word has existed.

Actually its StuartDs fault that I read that wrong, he quoted us out of order, in order to express what he wanted to express Stuart should have quoted DarkJedi first THEN my comment which was in response to DarkJedis comment... instead he quoted DarkJedi after my comment which made it seem like DarkJedi was answering me and StuartD agreeing with him.

DarkJedi · 02-25-2007, 11:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Splum

Actually its StuartDs fault that I read that wrong, he quoted us out of order, in order to express what he wanted to express Stuart should have quoted DarkJedi first THEN my comment which was in response to DarkJedis comment... instead he quoted DarkJedi after my comment which made it seem like DarkJedi was answering me and StuartD agreeing with him.

If the DNA from the Shroud and the newfound bones match, it most probably is Jesus.

OMG Jim · 02-25-2007, 11:29 AM

HOLLYWOOD !

_

DWB · 02-25-2007, 11:50 AM

God told me that this is all true.

Drake · 02-25-2007, 11:58 AM

Black Jesus?

IllTestYourGirls · 02-25-2007, 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Splum

Are you dense? Jesus the man truly existed idiot. Are you sure you are old enough to comment in this thread? Either that or I suggest you lay off the drugs.

facts:

Paul and the writers of all four canonical Gospels described the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus, as they understood it had happened. There is a acknowledged consensus among academic Christian theologians that:

* The Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John were not written by Jesus' disciples but by a person or persons whose names are unknown.

* Neither Paul nor any of the Gospel writers had been an eyewitness to Jesus' ministry or death.

* The Gospels record the beliefs and memories of various Christian groups as they had evolved at the time they were written.

____________

There is no reference to Jesus' death having any redeeming function; in fact, there is no mention of the crucifixion at all. John E. Remsburg's The Christ: A Critical Review and Analysis of the Evidence of His Existence, lists the following writers who lived during the time, or within a century after the time, that Jesus is supposed to have lived:

* Josephus
* Philo-Judææus
* Seneca
* Pliny Elder
* Arrian
* Petronius
* Dion Pruseus
* Paterculus
* Suetonius
* Juvenal
* Martial
* Persius
* Plutarch
* Pliny Younger

* Tacitus
* Justus of Tiberius
* Apollonius
* Quintilian
* Lucanus
* Epictetus
* Hermogones Silius Italicus
* Statius
* Ptolemy
* Appian
* Phlegon
* Phæædrus
* Valerius Maximus
* Lucian

* Pausanias
* Florus Lucius
* Quintius Curtius
* Aulus Gellius
* Dio Chrysostom
* Columella
* Valerius Flaccus
* Damis
* Favorinus
* Lysias
* Pomponius Mela
* Appion of Alexandria
* Theon of Smyrna

Enough of the writings of the authors named in the foregoing list remains to form a library. Yet in this mass of Jewish and Pagan literature, according to Remsburg, "aside from two forged passages in the works of a Jewish author, and two disputed passages in the works of Roman writers, there is to be found no mention of Jesus Christ." Nor, do any of these authors make note of the Disciples or Apostles --

IllTestYourGirls · 02-25-2007, 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Soul_Rebel

clearly a fake like the 1000s of other shrouds that were made by everyone and his brother to try to lay claim to Jesus's fame and power.

Easiest way to tell the shroud is fake... cover your face in paint then when the paint is still wet take a white sheet and wrap your head in it. Then remove the white sheet. What does the paint on the sheet look like? It is distorted and stretched out from ear to ear almost doubling the width of your face. The same thing would have happened to the shroud if Jesus had burnt his image into it.

Simple surface area problem.

next....

Pleasurepays · 02-25-2007, 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IllTestYourGirls

facts:

Paul and the writers of all four canonical Gospels described the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus, as they understood it had happened. There is a acknowledged consensus among academic Christian theologians that:

* The Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John were not written by Jesus' disciples but by a person or persons whose names are unknown.

* Neither Paul nor any of the Gospel writers had been an eyewitness to Jesus' ministry or death.

* The Gospels record the beliefs and memories of various Christian groups as they had evolved at the time they were written.

sorry.... but you have to go to hell now.

not my rules

don't hate the player...
hate the game

Splum · 02-25-2007, 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IllTestYourGirls

Enough of the writings of the authors named in the foregoing list remains to form a library. Yet in this mass of Jewish and Pagan literature, according to Remsburg, "aside from two forged passages in the works of a Jewish author, and two disputed passages in the works of Roman writers, there is to be found no mention of Jesus Christ." Nor, do any of these authors make note of the Disciples or Apostles --

Jesus is obviously the greatest conspiracy in history. You are right he never existed, please tell the billions of muslims, christians, jews, as well as hundreds of thousands of scholars, scientists, archaeologists they are all wrong because a man named Jesus lived 2000 years ago.

Please cite your source so I can rape it thanks.

Theo · 02-25-2007, 02:29 PM

Pausanias and Lysias lived and died before christ was born,i dont see how they should had written about him

baddog · 02-25-2007, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dirty Dane

How do they know his DNA?

That is what I was wondering too

uno · 02-25-2007, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Profits of Doom

Jesus Soup....yummy!

He told people to drink his blood and eat his flesh. I don't see why making soup out of his bones would be out of the question.

Alky · 02-25-2007, 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by uno

He told people to drink his blood and eat his flesh. I don't see why making soup out of his bones would be out of the question.

Did he mean that literally? I wasn't to sure if Jesus wanted his followers to be cannibals or not.

pornguy · 02-25-2007, 02:57 PM

The church will never allow this to be completely proven, and give it a shroud of question, and say " God works in mysterious ways."

Porko · 02-25-2007, 03:27 PM

really hard to prove..
and if they can prove it, ppl will still believing in Jesus..

aico · 02-25-2007, 03:42 PM

you mean they really believed he came back to life? really?? Baw hah hah hah hah.

Does this mean churches have to pay taxes now?

webmasterchecks · 02-25-2007, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IllTestYourGirls

clearly a fake like the 1000s of other shrouds that were made by everyone and his brother to try to lay claim to Jesus's fame and power.

yes, clearly a fake

lol

aico · 02-25-2007, 04:14 PM

I saw Jesus on my toast, so I showed it to my gardner, and he said something like "dios mios", farted, and passed out.

Bozena X · 02-25-2007, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RedShoe

See. I knew Jesus wasn't resurrected. But did anyone listen to me? NOOoooooooOOO.

too funny

Splum · 02-25-2007, 04:20 PM

I can feel your hatred.... atheists.

wtfent · 02-25-2007, 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dirty Dane

How do they know his DNA?

I think he was arrested a few times and they kept it on file.

wtfent · 02-25-2007, 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by montel

they could clone jesus and bring him back to life!!! but why stop there, you could produce a whole army of them1!!!!

Oh shit that would be kind of freaky, cloning his DNA. WOW that dude would be like a living Jesus. I cant even imagine somehting crazy like that happening, he would be pimping it big time thats for sure.

GT-Omar · 02-25-2007, 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dirty Dane

How do they know his DNA?

I wonder if they plan to match it to one of the "spear of destiny" there are so many that cliam to be the one that killed jeusus while he was on the cross? Imagine if one of them matches?

inthecrack · 02-25-2007, 05:18 PM

Now if they could just prove Christianity, Islam, and every other religion to be a farse then every war would be over with and we'd all live in peace.

Splum · 02-25-2007, 05:18 PM

Lol some of you guys, they didnt MATCH his DNA to anything they did DNA tests to see if the bones were related to each other, the "Jesus" bones and the "Mary Magdalene" bones didnt match therefore they suggest they two were husband and wife being buried in the same tomb.

wizhard · 02-25-2007, 05:29 PM

"Jesus" ?

Linkster · 02-25-2007, 05:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by inthecrack

Now if they could just prove Christianity, Islam, and every other religion to be a farse then every war would be over with and we'd all live in peace.

Unfortunately that will never happen - weak people since the beginning of time have had to create some more powerful "thing" to believe in to explain things they dont understand - the bigger religions were just better at enslaving humans to ideas and have flourished ever since - as long as you have sheep there will be some sort of religion - stupid people have an insatiable need to be told what to do with their lives

Splum · 02-25-2007, 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Linkster

Unfortunately that will never happen - weak people since the beginning of time have had to create some more powerful "thing" to believe in to explain things they dont understand - the bigger religions were just better at enslaving humans to ideas and have flourished ever since - as long as you have sheep there will be some sort of religion - stupid people have an insatiable need to be told what to do with their lives

"Weak people"? Its "weak" to have faith in something? So if you have faith in yourself you are "weak"? Sure the "weak" minded can be influenced but surely you are not arguing that every single person who believes in some form of "faith" weak minded?

Splum · 02-25-2007, 05:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by inthecrack

Now if they could just prove Christianity, Islam, and every other religion to be a farse then every war would be over with and we'd all live in peace.

Cavemen didnt kill other cavemen?

tony286 · 02-25-2007, 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IllTestYourGirls

facts:

Paul and the writers of all four canonical Gospels described the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus, as they understood it had happened. There is a acknowledged consensus among academic Christian theologians that:

* The Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John were not written by Jesus' disciples but by a person or persons whose names are unknown.

* Neither Paul nor any of the Gospel writers had been an eyewitness to Jesus' ministry or death.

* The Gospels record the beliefs and memories of various Christian groups as they had evolved at the time they were written.

____________

There is no reference to Jesus' death having any redeeming function; in fact, there is no mention of the crucifixion at all. John E. Remsburg's The Christ: A Critical Review and Analysis of the Evidence of His Existence, lists the following writers who lived during the time, or within a century after the time, that Jesus is supposed to have lived:

* Josephus
* Philo-Judææus
* Seneca
* Pliny Elder
* Arrian
* Petronius
* Dion Pruseus
* Paterculus
* Suetonius
* Juvenal
* Martial
* Persius
* Plutarch
* Pliny Younger

* Tacitus
* Justus of Tiberius
* Apollonius
* Quintilian
* Lucanus
* Epictetus
* Hermogones Silius Italicus
* Statius
* Ptolemy
* Appian
* Phlegon
* Phæædrus
* Valerius Maximus
* Lucian

* Pausanias
* Florus Lucius
* Quintius Curtius
* Aulus Gellius
* Dio Chrysostom
* Columella
* Valerius Flaccus
* Damis
* Favorinus
* Lysias
* Pomponius Mela
* Appion of Alexandria
* Theon of Smyrna

Enough of the writings of the authors named in the foregoing list remains to form a library. Yet in this mass of Jewish and Pagan literature, according to Remsburg, "aside from two forged passages in the works of a Jewish author, and two disputed passages in the works of Roman writers, there is to be found no mention of Jesus Christ." Nor, do any of these authors make note of the Disciples or Apostles --

Yep and in the first version of the bible Mary wasn't a virgin that was changed later.

chupacabra · 02-25-2007, 07:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Splum

"Weak people"? Its "weak" to have faith in something? So if you have faith in yourself you are "weak"? Sure the "weak" minded can be influenced but surely you are not arguing that every single person who believes in some form of "faith" weak minded?

yes, its "weak" to have faith... deal w/ it. religion is a crutch for primitive hominids to deal w/ their surrounding, environment and sentience that should have been discarded long ago... it causes nothing but bigotry, hatred and shame in the modern world.

while i have my doubts that this supposed find can be proven definitively one way or the other, it would be such a boon to mankind to have the entire sham of the resurrection exposed as the fairy tale it, and most all religious mythos are..

Fap · 02-25-2007, 07:10 PM

This is stupid.

Porn Farmer · 02-25-2007, 07:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Splum

"Weak people"? Its "weak" to have faith in something? So if you have faith in yourself you are "weak"? Sure the "weak" minded can be influenced but surely you are not arguing that every single person who believes in some form of "faith" weak minded?

Having faith in yourself is one thing, having faith in 2000 year old fairy stories is another.

Dirty Dane · 02-25-2007, 07:15 PM

There have been some statues of Maria, crying blood. Maybe they will compare DNA to that.

Linkster · 02-25-2007, 07:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Splum

"Weak people"? Its "weak" to have faith in something? So if you have faith in yourself you are "weak"? Sure the "weak" minded can be influenced but surely you are not arguing that every single person who believes in some form of "faith" weak minded?

I thought I spelled out my ideas clearly enough to speak to this - but yes - if you have "faith" in yourself that is what is important - if you have to lay your faith outside yourself then obviously you are so weak you have to be told what to think instead of doing it from within yourself

Yes I am arguing (actually just stating - I dont see any argument in it) that anyone that has to believe in a faith outside of themselves, is by definition weak minded

uno · 02-25-2007, 07:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Splum

I can feel your hatred.... atheists.

Leave Dick Cheney out of this.

StickyGreen · 02-25-2007, 07:36 PM

Goddamn there are some stupid motherfuckers on this board...

bigalownz · 02-25-2007, 08:36 PM

end of the world

uno · 02-25-2007, 08:52 PM

And I feel fine.

Penthouse Tony · 02-25-2007, 09:26 PM

i don't see how any dna could have been preserved for so long

Masterchief · 02-25-2007, 09:34 PM

100.....

GT-Omar · 02-25-2007, 09:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sagi_AFF

i don't see how any dna could have been preserved for so long

The only way I would guess would be collecting all those "spears of destiny's" that are out there. Which supposed to have pierced the side of Christ? Maybe that's the only way ?

02-25-2007, 10:00 AM	#54
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02-25-2007, 11:29 AM	#61
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02-25-2007, 02:57 PM	#72
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02-25-2007, 03:27 PM	#73
Porko SeeMyBucks.com Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: USA Posts: 4,014	really hard to prove.. and if they can prove it, ppl will still believing in Jesus.. __________________

02-25-2007, 05:18 PM	#82
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02-25-2007, 09:48 AM	#51
Love Sex Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 1,905	Jesus died in a gang bang

02-25-2007, 09:49 AM	#52
Splum Confirmed User Join Date: May 2003 Location: USA Posts: 6,195	The DNA testing wasnt done to determine the bones were from Jesus the DNA testing were done to see if each set of bones was family. The tomb marked "Jesus" and the tomb marked "Mary Magdalene" were found by DNA testing to not be related, which could only mean they were husband and wife as they were buried in the same tomb.

02-25-2007, 10:02 AM	#55
tony286 lurker Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: atlanta Posts: 57,021	You mean a book of fairy tales isnt real amazing

02-25-2007, 10:02 AM	#56
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02-25-2007, 11:50 AM	#62
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02-25-2007, 11:58 AM	#63
Drake Hello world! Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 12,508	Black Jesus?

02-25-2007, 02:29 PM	#68
Theo HAL 9000 Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 34,515	Pausanias and Lysias lived and died before christ was born,i dont see how they should had written about him

02-25-2007, 03:42 PM	#74
aico Moo Moo Cow Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Washington State Posts: 14,748	you mean they really believed he came back to life? really?? Baw hah hah hah hah. Does this mean churches have to pay taxes now?

02-25-2007, 04:14 PM	#76
aico Moo Moo Cow Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Washington State Posts: 14,748	I saw Jesus on my toast, so I showed it to my gardner, and he said something like "dios mios", farted, and passed out.

02-25-2007, 04:20 PM	#78
Splum Confirmed User Join Date: May 2003 Location: USA Posts: 6,195	I can feel your hatred.... atheists.

02-25-2007, 05:29 PM	#84
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02-25-2007, 07:10 PM	#90
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02-25-2007, 07:15 PM	#92
Dirty Dane Sick Fuck Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: www Posts: 9,491	There have been some statues of Maria, crying blood. Maybe they will compare DNA to that.

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02-25-2007, 08:36 PM	#96
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02-25-2007, 08:52 PM	#97
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02-25-2007, 09:26 PM	#98
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02-25-2007, 09:34 PM	#99
Masterchief Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 530	100.....