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Old 12-17-2006, 08:40 PM   #1
sarettah
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Hardly Davidson Announces New Boy Alley Commemorative Edition Line

As found on: BNT News

Kansas City, Mo December 17, 2006 Ass Press

Hardly Davidson, the premier producer of specialty motorcycles, today announced the launch of its 2007 Boy Alley commemorative line of motorcycles based around their popular Softtail Heritage Classic edition motorcycle.

"Boy Alley is recognized as one of the most flamboyant signature whores in the adult internet community", stated Bent Bob, spokesman for Hardly Davidson. "Boy Alley's contributions to the signature whoring industry have been far and above anything that has been seen on the internet since 1994. He has raised signature whoring from what was looked on by most of the adult community as a lowlife profession to an art form, proving that a know nothing gay surfer with an attitude can survive on nothing but the income that his signature generates. To recognize all that he has done for the industry, Hardly Davidson has created a commemorative line of new heritage classic motorcycles."

Unlike prior Hardly Davidson commemorative lines, the Boy Alley line does not rely on paint or performance equipment. The difference between the normal Softtail Heritage and the Boy Alley commemorative is all in the seat. "We thought it quite appropriate, when designing the new line, to concentrate on the seat of the bike, rather than the performance and appearance items", said Ima Gayfuck, head designer for Hardly Davidson. "Boy Alley spends most of his time either sitting on his ass or playing with his ass", she continued, "We thought enhancing the seat was the proper way to honor him."

The Boy Alley line will not be available for purchase until spring 2008, but we had the honor of a sneak preview of the new line in the private workshop of the grandfather of all motorcycles, Mr. Hardly Davidson.


The 2007 Boy Alley commemorative edition - Fat Boy seat version

The Boy Alley commemorative line will be available with 4 different styles of seats, each with their own unique shape and features.


The Fatboy seat

"The most popular model, as it is in the normal softtail line, will be the Fatboy version", croaked the 90 year old inventor. "We think that most of our Boy Alley commemorative customers will want it. It is the same as a standard Heritage classic but in the center of the seat is fastened an official Hardly Davidson Chrome Standard Rider Retention unit. The Rider retention unit is a new invention from our designers", the ancient one continued. "In addition to using the normal Hardly chrome, we have added a heater and a lube overflow cup. It offers a comfortable gentle massage throughout the ride and it actually helps keep the rider on the bike".


The SoftTail seat

"We do expect a lot of beginner riders to select our standard softtail Rider Retention unit," the old man said. "It is the safest unit for a beginner and it is adjustable by using our patented inflation unit. It fits all sizes and when fully inflated will hold even the heaviest couch potato. It comes in a black vinyl custom matching the seat leather."



The ElectraGlide seat

"Our ElectraGlide seat is for the serious rider. The ElectraGlide Rider Retention unit is a large Hardly Davidson embossed chrome unit, approximately 9 inches long, It allows a comfortable firm fit for all but the largest assholes, er, um, I mean riders", the wizened genius sputtered. "Like the FatBoy it has a heater and a lube overflow cup, but it also features an autolube dispenser and an optional vacuum control unit to prevent accidental slide off on rough rides."



The UltraGlide seat


"The UltraGlide seat is for only our most experienced riders. When we designed this seat, we had Boy Alley firmly in our minds. The extended Hardly Davidson 18 inch Chrome System is the most advanced Rider Retention unit we will be producing. It produces a firm tight hold in even the largest riders. Guaranteed to hold throughout even the roughest rides, the UltraGlide has all the features found in the ElectraGlide plus at the base is a built in MP3 player unit. The UltraGlide is hard wired to the MP3 system to produce a relaxing massage in time to your favorite music. Think of it", the old fool cackled. "Put your favorite MP3s onto a compactflash card, slip it in the slot, climb on board and Mick Jagger sings Jumping Jack Flash inside your rectum, he he ha ha ho ho ho"

Upon release, the Boy Alley commemorative line will be available in rider/passenger seat combinations of AC/DC, DC/AC and DC/DC.

This reporter reached Boy Alley via phone on Sunday afternoon. When asked about what he thought about this honor being bestowed, the stout ghey boy replied, "Fuck DirectNic, I'm going to boycott them and you should to. I'm gonna get all those MikeAI ass kissers too, you just wait and see I tell you, you just wait and see. And their little dog too, hehehehehe,and the little dog too."




This post was partially inspired by SPeRMiNaToR.
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Old 12-17-2006, 08:45 PM   #2
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Old 12-17-2006, 08:48 PM   #3
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yeah, sarettah does need a life. loser.
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Old 12-17-2006, 08:48 PM   #4
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WOW... just WOW.
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Old 12-17-2006, 08:49 PM   #5
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Pathetic attempt at gay joke.
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Old 12-17-2006, 08:51 PM   #6
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May indicate latency.
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Old 12-17-2006, 09:26 PM   #7
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harley's coming after you
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Old 12-17-2006, 09:31 PM   #8
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harley's coming after you
Ebus is helping harley prepare their lawsuit from what I understand.......
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Old 12-17-2006, 09:34 PM   #9
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stfu ...............................
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Old 12-17-2006, 09:35 PM   #10
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Homo....
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Old 12-17-2006, 10:03 PM   #11
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Hahahaha
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Old 12-17-2006, 11:16 PM   #12
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oh dear lord
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Old 12-17-2006, 11:39 PM   #13
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what the fuck
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Old 12-18-2006, 12:23 AM   #14
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see folks, the difference between MY post and this post is that MY post... well... it was funny... this...well...isn't.

I'm a contributing member for the NDDPAA (National Don't Drink and Post Association of America) and I suggest you take this light reading material home with you :::handsoutflyers:::
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Old 12-18-2006, 01:46 AM   #15
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Boy Alley, never mind them and have a good ride. Show them you are a man and just say no to lube.
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Old 12-18-2006, 03:18 AM   #16
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Boy Alley, never mind them and have a good ride. Show them you are a man and just say no to lube.
yeah, just say no
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Old 12-18-2006, 03:21 AM   #17
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ummm, ok


Quote:
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Boy Alley, never mind them and have a good ride. Show them you are a man and just say no to lube.
Serge steps in to save the thread

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Old 12-18-2006, 09:19 AM   #18
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You really truely need a damn life.
I have a very nice life than you. I may need a different hobby though
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Old 12-18-2006, 09:20 AM   #19
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stfu whore
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Old 12-18-2006, 09:20 AM   #20
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Pathetic attempt at gay joke.
There is no gay joke that I saw. I think it's wonderful that Boy Alley is receiving such an honor. I would think the board would be happy for him.
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Old 12-18-2006, 09:21 AM   #21
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May indicate latency.
I've heard that gay people an sense that about each other. Is that true?
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Old 12-18-2006, 09:29 AM   #22
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Homo....
See above
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Old 12-18-2006, 09:30 AM   #23
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stfu whore
Moi? And just what the fuck am I whoring?
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Old 12-18-2006, 09:35 AM   #24
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da funneh has failed....
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Old 12-18-2006, 09:36 AM   #25
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da funneh has failed....
Hey, happens sometimes. Whatcha gonna do, ya know
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Old 12-18-2006, 09:39 AM   #26
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big yawn
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Old 12-18-2006, 09:41 AM   #27
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Hey, happens sometimes. Whatcha gonna do, ya know
I stop bumping it myself lol.
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Old 12-18-2006, 09:44 AM   #28
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I stop bumping it myself lol.
Had to answer folks...lol..

Just getting the day started.
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Old 12-18-2006, 09:45 AM   #29
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Remember With Epic Cashlaugh
Did pimpdog and Lensman kiss and make up?
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Old 12-18-2006, 10:09 AM   #30
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Old 12-18-2006, 10:17 AM   #31
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You just don't appreciate creativity
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Old 12-18-2006, 10:55 AM   #32
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You just don't appreciate creativity
..or doesn't see anything funny in the sex toys he uses on a regular basis. Would you laugh at your own...finger?
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Old 12-18-2006, 11:38 AM   #33
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..or doesn't see anything funny in the sex toys he uses on a regular basis. Would you laugh at your own...finger?
It is my understanding that they were going to call this one:

The Serge, after the model who sat for it


(notice I said sat FOR it, not ON it. Want to be perfectly clear here )
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Old 12-18-2006, 11:56 AM   #34
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Sare, between us boys,
what are those toys doing in your garage? They don't look used....are you just a collector?
;)
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Old 12-18-2006, 01:37 PM   #35
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Sare, between us boys,
what are those toys doing in your garage? They don't look used....are you just a collector?
;)
A connoisseur, if you will
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