Santa's Letters - GoFuckYourself.com

AllstarDarren · 12-09-2006, 05:12 PM

Dear Santa
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.
Yer Frend,
BiLLy

Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care.. How about I
send you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving
your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!
Santa

Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace
and joy in the world for everybody!
Love,
Sarah

Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa

Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy
and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
Love,
Teddy

Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane.
Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid, fat mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Maybe you can build yourself a family with those?
Santa

Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum
kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love,
Francis

Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay.
Santa

Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your
reindeer outside the back door.
Love,
Susan

Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when
riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Two words, Jim Beam.
Santa

Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?
Your friend,
Thomas

Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made by little kids like you in China . Every year I give
them a slice of bread as a Christmas bonus. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table.
Santa
P.S.
Tell your mom she got the part.
Long Dong Claus

Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're
awake, like in the song?
Love,
Jessica

Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping
your house.
Santa

Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one?
Timmy

Timmy,
That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't
work with me. You're getting an ugly sweater again.
Santa

Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?
Love,
Marky

Mark,
First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass
kicked at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a
low-rent, ghetto apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like
all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.
Sweet Dreams,
Santa

Ohface · 12-09-2006, 05:48 PM

That's one nasty Santa.

sicone · 12-09-2006, 07:26 PM

notabook · 12-09-2006, 07:29 PM

Ghetto Santa sure is an asshole.

keanne_west · 12-09-2006, 07:52 PM

Good Gracious Santa!! you're one hell of a schmuck!

Spunky · 12-09-2006, 07:57 PM

Heh heh..those were funny

MaddCaz · 12-09-2006, 07:58 PM

hehehehehehehehee

reynold · 12-10-2006, 08:18 AM

I hope Rudolf would throw him out of his sleigh..

ToplistBlog_Com · 12-10-2006, 08:29 AM

hahahahahaha

MyNameIsNobody · 12-10-2006, 08:38 AM

I didn't think that was funny.. santa is a nice person

pimplink · 12-10-2006, 09:16 AM

What a mean Santa.

rodney25 · 12-10-2006, 11:16 AM

Bump for those who haven't read this yet.

martinsc · 12-10-2006, 11:27 AM

E$_manager · 12-10-2006, 12:12 PM

Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace
and joy in the world for everybody!
Love,
Sarah

Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa

This one is decent

12-09-2006, 05:12 PM	#1
AllstarDarren Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 166	Santa's Letters Dear Santa I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer. Yer Frend, BiLLy Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care.. How about I send you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell! Santa Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. Love, Teddy Dear Teddy, Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid, fat mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Maybe you can build yourself a family with those? Santa Dear Santa, I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba. Love, Francis Dear Francis, Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay. Santa Dear Santa, I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door. Love, Susan Dear Susan, Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Two words, Jim Beam. Santa Dear Santa, What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys? Your friend, Thomas Dear Thomas, All the toys are made by little kids like you in China . Every year I give them a slice of bread as a Christmas bonus. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table. Santa P.S. Tell your mom she got the part. Long Dong Claus Dear Santa, Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song? Love, Jessica Dear Jessica, Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house. Santa Dear Santa, I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one? Timmy Timmy, That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting an ugly sweater again. Santa Dearest Santa, We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home? Love, Marky Mark, First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass kicked at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent, ghetto apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window. Sweet Dreams, Santa __________________ www.allstarcontent.com ICQ: 259-939-828 [email protected]

12-09-2006, 05:48 PM	#2
Ohface Confirmed User Join Date: May 2006 Location: MIAMI Posts: 997	That's one nasty Santa. __________________ BlackBook Escorts - Your source of Adult Entertainers

12-09-2006, 07:26 PM	#3
sicone Retired Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Sac Posts: 18,453	__________________

12-09-2006, 07:29 PM	#4
notabook Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Not a Library! Posts: 9,748	Ghetto Santa sure is an asshole. __________________

12-09-2006, 07:52 PM	#5
keanne_west Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Manila, Philippines Posts: 131	Good Gracious Santa!! you're one hell of a schmuck! __________________ DESIGN2WEBS - PROVIDING HIGH QUALITY ADULT DESIGNS. ________________________________________________ ICQ: 384342709, YM: keannewest, MSN: keannewest, SKYPE: keanne.west

12-09-2006, 07:57 PM	#6
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,943	Heh heh..those were funny __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

12-09-2006, 07:58 PM	#7
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12-10-2006, 08:18 AM	#8
reynold Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Global Traveler Posts: 51,271	I hope Rudolf would throw him out of his sleigh.. Last edited by reynold; 12-10-2006 at 08:20 AM..

12-10-2006, 08:29 AM	#9
ToplistBlog_Com So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Queens NY Posts: 2,065	hahahahahaha

12-10-2006, 08:38 AM	#10
MyNameIsNobody Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Swedän Posts: 2,947	I didn't think that was funny.. santa is a nice person __________________ MyNameIsNobody - ICQ: 279-601-583

12-10-2006, 09:16 AM	#11
pimplink Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Closer than you think Posts: 9,535	What a mean Santa. __________________ Need Mainstream Content and SEO? SEO * Website Copy * Blogs Blogging - PR Work - Forum Marketing - Social Marketing - Link building - Articles 100% Guaranteed Content!

12-10-2006, 11:16 AM	#12
rodney25 Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 7,090	Bump for those who haven't read this yet. __________________ AFFORDABLE Hosting -- Extreme Dependability -- FULL Service ICQ ME for DAMN GOOD HOSTING DEALS: 5380773

12-10-2006, 11:27 AM	#13
martinsc Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: 127.0.0.1 Posts: 27,047	__________________ Make Money

12-10-2006, 12:12 PM	#14
E$_manager Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: pink adult dreams Posts: 13,557	Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa This one is decent __________________ Enjoy more sales with EnjoyBucks! Homemade: Asian : Ebony : GFs : Voyeur : Nudist : Public : 3D