Could i write jokes for Leno?? Tell me - GoFuckYourself.com

Nardimus · 10-28-2006, 12:37 AM

I am really fucking loaded right now and was just watching Jay Leno and laughing at how incredibly dumb most of the jokes are. It seems so easy to write a joke for that show so i am so bored and stoned that i decided to pick a random headline at cnn.com and see if i could make a Leno quality joke out of it.

The Leno Joke always seems to go like this... News Headline first, summarizes a few facts, then puts his HILARIOUS Leno spin on it, then the laugh machine does its job

so i decided to write one............

HERES WHAT I GOT:

the white house claims vice president dick cheney was not talking about a torture technique called water boarding when he said dunking terrorism suspects in water during questioning was a "no-brainer".

president bush, when asked about cheney's comments said "this country doesnt torture. We're not going to torture."

press secretary tony snow denied cheney's endorsement of water boarding as well saying "you think dick cheney's going to slip up on something like this? No, come on."

one can only speculate whether these 3 actually actually knew what water boarding actually meant or if they assumed that the press had just uncovered their super secret tax-payer funded water boarding retreat in which "torture" or "torch 'er" as the president called it actually meant driving a ski-boat above the posted lake mead speed limit and where vice president cheney has yet to "slip up" off of his waterboard.... come on, these men are boarders, pros... with the fastest supercharged ski-boats our country can buy. for them, boarding is a "no brainer", and with that much horsepower who can blame them from wanting to to uncork a "torch 'er" every now and then?

:food-smil

Nardimus · 10-28-2006, 12:41 AM

i changed the end... man im high.

one can only speculate whether these 3 actually actually knew what water boarding actually meant or if they assumed that the press had just uncovered their super secret tax-payer funded water boarding retreat in which "torture" or "torch 'er" as the president called it actually meant driving a ski-boat above the posted lake mead speed limit and where vice president cheney did not "slip up" off of his waterboard.... come on, these men are boarders, pros... they obey the speed limit. for them, boarding is a "no brainer", but with that much horsepower who could blame them from wanting to to uncork a "torch 'er" every now and then?

Bro Media - BANNED FOR LIFE · 10-28-2006, 12:57 AM

i laugh at jay leno, i failed to laugh at you.... don't quit your day job of peddling porn

Nardimus · 10-28-2006, 02:09 AM

you laugh at jay leno? lolol

gangbangjoe · 10-28-2006, 02:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LOL :D

i laugh at jay leno, i failed to laugh at you.... don't quit your day job of peddling porn

its all about the presentation of a joke.

written in some messageboard it is almost impossible to get a good laugh

but with the right expression in your face and body movements and the right way to use your voice even the shittiest joke can make your eyes water

Spankys Teens · 10-28-2006, 02:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gangbangjoe

its all about the presentation of a joke.

I agree on that one totally...the "joke" wasnt funny at all mate

martinsc · 10-28-2006, 02:17 AM

no you couldn't.

DamageX · 10-28-2006, 02:20 AM

Burger King is waiting for you.

Lykos · 10-28-2006, 03:52 AM

not really ,lol

bknoob · 10-28-2006, 04:19 AM

ok that wasn't funny.. sorry

but I liked a recent one from Conan:

"Paris Hilton said in an interview that she never pays for drinks when she goes out.... Luckily, she still gets plenty of fluid."

Bro Media - BANNED FOR LIFE · 10-28-2006, 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nardimus

you laugh at jay leno? lolol

lets just say i get more of a laugh out of jay leno then i did out of that joke... personally i'd rather watch conan

DjSap · 10-28-2006, 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bknoob

ok that wasn't funny.. sorry

but I liked a recent one from Conan:

"Paris Hilton said in an interview that she never pays for drinks when she goes out.... Luckily, she still gets plenty of fluid."

haha conan always has the best writers..

NinjaSteve · 10-28-2006, 03:19 PM

not funny enough

10-28-2006, 12:37 AM	#1
Nardimus Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Seattle Posts: 418	Could i write jokes for Leno?? Tell me I am really fucking loaded right now and was just watching Jay Leno and laughing at how incredibly dumb most of the jokes are. It seems so easy to write a joke for that show so i am so bored and stoned that i decided to pick a random headline at cnn.com and see if i could make a Leno quality joke out of it. The Leno Joke always seems to go like this... News Headline first, summarizes a few facts, then puts his HILARIOUS Leno spin on it, then the laugh machine does its job so i decided to write one............ HERES WHAT I GOT: the white house claims vice president dick cheney was not talking about a torture technique called water boarding when he said dunking terrorism suspects in water during questioning was a "no-brainer". president bush, when asked about cheney's comments said "this country doesnt torture. We're not going to torture." press secretary tony snow denied cheney's endorsement of water boarding as well saying "you think dick cheney's going to slip up on something like this? No, come on." one can only speculate whether these 3 actually actually knew what water boarding actually meant or if they assumed that the press had just uncovered their super secret tax-payer funded water boarding retreat in which "torture" or "torch 'er" as the president called it actually meant driving a ski-boat above the posted lake mead speed limit and where vice president cheney has yet to "slip up" off of his waterboard.... come on, these men are boarders, pros... with the fastest supercharged ski-boats our country can buy. for them, boarding is a "no brainer", and with that much horsepower who can blame them from wanting to to uncork a "torch 'er" every now and then? :food-smil

10-28-2006, 02:17 AM	#7
martinsc Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: 127.0.0.1 Posts: 27,047	no you couldn't. __________________ Make Money

10-28-2006, 02:20 AM	#8
DamageX Marketing & Strategy Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Former nomad Posts: 14,293	Burger King is waiting for you. __________________ Whitehat is for chumps If you don't do it, somebody else will - true story!

10-28-2006, 03:52 AM	#9
Lykos Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: World Posts: 31,027	not really ,lol __________________

10-28-2006, 03:19 PM	#13
NinjaSteve Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 11,089	not funny enough __________________ ...

10-28-2006, 12:41 AM	#2
Nardimus Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Seattle Posts: 418	i changed the end... man im high. one can only speculate whether these 3 actually actually knew what water boarding actually meant or if they assumed that the press had just uncovered their super secret tax-payer funded water boarding retreat in which "torture" or "torch 'er" as the president called it actually meant driving a ski-boat above the posted lake mead speed limit and where vice president cheney did not "slip up" off of his waterboard.... come on, these men are boarders, pros... they obey the speed limit. for them, boarding is a "no brainer", but with that much horsepower who could blame them from wanting to to uncork a "torch 'er" every now and then?

10-28-2006, 12:57 AM	#3
Bro Media - BANNED FOR LIFE MOBILE PORN: IMOBILEPORN Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Tinseltown NL Posts: 16,502	i laugh at jay leno, i failed to laugh at you.... don't quit your day job of peddling porn

10-28-2006, 02:09 AM	#4
Nardimus Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Seattle Posts: 418	you laugh at jay leno? lolol

10-28-2006, 04:19 AM	#10
bknoob Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 1,610	ok that wasn't funny.. sorry but I liked a recent one from Conan: "Paris Hilton said in an interview that she never pays for drinks when she goes out.... Luckily, she still gets plenty of fluid."