In celebration of this morning's raging hangover.... - GoFuckYourself.com

dissipate · 09-23-2006, 11:21 AM

My head feels like it's going to explode, oh well.... atleast the blonde I woke up next to was smokin hot

.... now if i could only remember the sex..

5 Levels of a hangover

One Star Hangover : No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function relatively well; however, you are still parched. You can drink 5 sodas and still feel this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak & fries.

Two Star Hangover (**): No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.

Three Star Hangover (***): Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic friends dared you to drink. Life would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching reruns. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a diet Coke --- yet you haven't peed once.

Four Star Hangover (****): Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face. (For the ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars.) Your eyes look like one big red vein, and even your hair hurts. Your sphincter is in perpetual spasm, and the first of about five craps you take during the day brings water to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom.

Five Star Hangover (*****): You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Alcohol vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. In fact, you are probably still drunk. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva so your tongue is suffocating You don't have the foggiest idea who the hell the stranger was passed out in your bed this morning. Any attempt to defecate results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with a rare 'floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of this 'floater' seems to be to splash the toilet water all over your butt. Death sound sounds pretty good about right now!

Internet Guy · 09-23-2006, 01:07 PM

i used to hit level 4 most weekends, for years, don't miss the hangovers.

martinsc · 09-23-2006, 01:15 PM

i dirink a lot, but never had a hangover....

abadfish · 09-23-2006, 01:20 PM

Looks like I am at the three star level. I hate drinking shitty beer and mixing it with shittier shots of liquor.

squishypimp · 09-23-2006, 01:22 PM

i hate hangovers with a passion.

MsWild · 09-24-2006, 07:26 AM

I've never experienced hang-over because I hate drinking wines

09-23-2006, 11:21 AM	#1
dissipate The Dirty Frenchman Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Lost Angeles Posts: 8,904	In celebration of this morning's raging hangover.... My head feels like it's going to explode, oh well.... atleast the blonde I woke up next to was smokin hot .... now if i could only remember the sex.. 5 Levels of a hangover One Star Hangover : No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function relatively well; however, you are still parched. You can drink 5 sodas and still feel this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak & fries. Two Star Hangover (): No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels. Three Star Hangover (): Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic friends dared you to drink. Life would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching reruns. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a diet Coke --- yet you haven't peed once. Four Star Hangover* (**): Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face. (For the ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars.) Your eyes look like one big red vein, and even your hair hurts. Your sphincter is in perpetual spasm, and the first of about five craps you take during the day brings water to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom. Five Star Hangover (***): You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Alcohol vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. In fact, you are probably still drunk. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva so your tongue is suffocating You don't have the foggiest idea who the hell the stranger was passed out in your bed this morning. Any attempt to defecate results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with a rare 'floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of this 'floater' seems to be to splash the toilet water all over your butt. Death sound sounds pretty good about right now!

09-23-2006, 01:15 PM	#3
martinsc Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: 127.0.0.1 Posts: 27,047	i dirink a lot, but never had a hangover.... __________________ Make Money

09-23-2006, 01:22 PM	#5
squishypimp PostMaster General Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 10,781	i hate hangovers with a passion. __________________ Signature For Sale

09-24-2006, 07:26 AM	#6
MsWild Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 2,803	I've never experienced hang-over because I hate drinking wines __________________ Always the biggest checks: [img]http://****************/sig/fhv3_j2_624x80_2.gif[/img]

09-23-2006, 01:07 PM	#2
Internet Guy Confirmed User Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 402	i used to hit level 4 most weekends, for years, don't miss the hangovers.

09-23-2006, 01:20 PM	#4
abadfish Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: WA Posts: 1,482	Looks like I am at the three star level. I hate drinking shitty beer and mixing it with shittier shots of liquor.