Top 7 Idiots of 2006 - GoFuckYourself.com

WEGCash Robert · 09-22-2006, 10:19 AM

TOP 7 Idiots of 2006

The very last sentence is frightening and just might explain why the
world is in the mess it is.

Number One Idiot of 2006

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because
she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her
that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her
daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant
poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better
bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.

Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
Number Two Idiot of 2006

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal
a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it
out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the
river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them.
It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator
beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer
employed at Boeing.

Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~
Number Three Idiot of 2006

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the
Branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag."
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began
to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the
police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of
America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank.

After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the
Wells Fargo teller. S he read it and, surmising from his spelling errors
that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she
could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America
deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo
deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat
defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later,
as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.

Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
Number Four Idiot of 2006

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that
measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later
received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car.
Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several
days later, he received a letter from the police that cont ained another
picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.

Smartass... but you still get a sign

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~
Number Five Idiot of 2006

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded
all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in
a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the
counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but
the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over
21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him
because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his
driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The
clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she
put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his
loot.
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and
address of the robber that she got off the license. They arrested the robber
two hours later.

This guy definitely needs a sign.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Six of 2006

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner
moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

This guy doesn't even deserve a sign
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Seven of 2006

Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab
some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over
his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him
unconscious.

It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole
event was caught on videotape.
Yep, here's your sign

Boobs · 09-22-2006, 10:22 AM

GrouchyAdmin · 09-22-2006, 10:23 AM

They're good, but at least one is off by a magnitude of years. I was waiting for the end result to be the 'jet car.'

CaptainHowdy · 09-22-2006, 10:24 AM

LOL! Great post

!

MegaPartnerJerry · 09-22-2006, 10:25 AM

PuffSex · 09-22-2006, 10:28 AM

hahhahah !

carol.prime · 09-22-2006, 10:31 AM

scottybuzz · 09-22-2006, 10:37 AM

those stories I heard about 5 years ago :?

ServerGenius · 09-22-2006, 10:43 AM

Send my regards to Albert

Al. · 09-22-2006, 10:44 AM

very nice

WEGCash Robert · 09-22-2006, 10:45 AM

Sure will! He's on his way to LA today. I'll tell him hello.

C H R I S · 09-22-2006, 10:45 AM

awesome - the life raft one is classic....

wjxxx · 09-22-2006, 10:52 AM

fallenmuffin · 09-22-2006, 11:00 AM

...

OG LennyT · 09-22-2006, 11:08 AM

funny stuff LOL

Dirty Dane · 09-22-2006, 11:19 AM

tranza · 09-22-2006, 11:20 AM

I've read a couple of those jokes in the past before.

squishypimp · 09-22-2006, 11:21 AM

lol funny stuff.

seeric · 09-22-2006, 11:23 AM

i thought for sure i'd make that list

Th!nk · 09-22-2006, 11:37 AM

hahaha! very funny!!!

LittleSassy · 09-22-2006, 11:45 AM

loved the last one...

donross · 09-22-2006, 11:46 AM

that was so funny.. nice share bro..

mikesouth · 09-22-2006, 11:55 AM

Lets add #8 A true story verifiable even

An australian man in his early 40s decided it would be fun to take a dip in the ocean along with his cameraman. Upon coming up on a large stingray the australian man decided it probably wanted to make some sort of human contact, so the cameraman positioned himself ahead of the ray while the australian man approached the ray from above think about how he would narrate the scene by saying some thing like "This Big Stingray has no idea what I am or that I wont eat it" when he got close enough to threaten the big ray it uses its defense mechanism a poisonous stinger on its tail and puntures the mans heart with it, injecting the venom directly into his bloodstream and killing him within moments.

The man would qualify for the Darwin award except that he left behind a daughter who has now vowed to make contact with the stingray that killed her father. She may yet win a Darwin award saving the family's dream of winning this dubious honor.

Marine biologists the worl over including Michael Cousteau have denounced the man for his stupidity.

Lykos · 09-22-2006, 12:31 PM

Evil Chris · 09-22-2006, 12:38 PM

that was an entertaining read no matter when any of them happened or didn't happen.

chaze · 09-22-2006, 12:48 PM

My god, that can't be real.

Runny either way.

woj · 09-22-2006, 01:13 PM

good shit

HammerALL · 09-22-2006, 01:17 PM

LOL those are gold

JD · 09-22-2006, 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mikesouth

Lets add #8 A true story verifiable even

An australian man in his early 40s decided it would be fun to take a dip in the ocean along with his cameraman. Upon coming up on a large stingray the australian man decided it probably wanted to make some sort of human contact, so the cameraman positioned himself ahead of the ray while the australian man approached the ray from above think about how he would narrate the scene by saying some thing like "This Big Stingray has no idea what I am or that I wont eat it" when he got close enough to threaten the big ray it uses its defense mechanism a poisonous stinger on its tail and puntures the mans heart with it, injecting the venom directly into his bloodstream and killing him within moments.

The man would qualify for the Darwin award except that he left behind a daughter who has now vowed to make contact with the stingray that killed her father. She may yet win a Darwin award saving the family's dream of winning this dubious honor.

Marine biologists the worl over including Michael Cousteau have denounced the man for his stupidity.

gecko · 09-22-2006, 09:31 PM

lol... those are great.

martinsc · 09-22-2006, 09:44 PM

Vitasoy · 09-22-2006, 11:09 PM

Some of those are great.

The Ghost · 09-22-2006, 11:12 PM

#4 was great. He should have mailed back the lyrics to "I fought the law and the, law won"

cess · 09-22-2006, 11:20 PM

CyberHustler · 09-22-2006, 11:27 PM

funny shit lol

09-22-2006, 10:19 AM	#1
WEGCash Robert Confirmed User Join Date: May 2006 Location: NC Posts: 638	Top 7 Idiots of 2006 TOP 7 Idiots of 2006 The very last sentence is frightening and just might explain why the world is in the mess it is. Number One Idiot of 2006 I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away. Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ Number Two Idiot of 2006 Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing. Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ Number Three Idiot of 2006 A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. S he read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America. Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~ Number Four Idiot of 2006 A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that cont ained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40. Smartass... but you still get a sign ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ Number Five Idiot of 2006 A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that she got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later. This guy definitely needs a sign. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ Idiot Number Six of 2006 A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him. This guy doesn't even deserve a sign ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ Idiot Number Seven of 2006 Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape. Yep, here's your sign __________________ Robert Sons [email protected] icq - 248328178

09-22-2006, 10:22 AM	#2
Boobs Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 7,875	__________________ Join the fucking best in big tit sponsors!!!

09-22-2006, 10:23 AM	#3
GrouchyAdmin Now choke yourself! Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 12,085	They're good, but at least one is off by a magnitude of years. I was waiting for the end result to be the 'jet car.' __________________ AIM: GrouchyGfy

09-22-2006, 10:25 AM	#5
MegaPartnerJerry Confirmed User Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 518	__________________ ICQ # 337-531-162 $$$ MegaPartner.Com Don't Waste Your Traffic, make MEGA $$$, Fresh New Sites & TONS of Promo Tools!!!

09-22-2006, 10:28 AM	#6
PuffSex Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 547	hahhahah ! __________________ I sell my sig. ICQ 353-102-366 [email protected]

09-22-2006, 10:24 AM	#4
CaptainHowdy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Happy in the dark. Posts: 93,682	LOL! Great post ! __________________ Vacares - Web Hosting, Domains, O365, Security & More - Paxum and BTC Accepted Windows VPS now available Great for TSS, Nifty Stats, remote work, virtual assistants, etc.

09-22-2006, 10:31 AM	#7
carol.prime Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Manila, Philippines Posts: 6,960	__________________ Prime Outsourcing \| offshore staffing solutions \| manual labor \| employee leasing \| full time employees starting at $695.00/month = managed and dedicated icq.: 309570461 live chat

09-22-2006, 10:37 AM	#8
scottybuzz Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2006 Location: NY Posts: 14,800	those stories I heard about 5 years ago :? __________________ $$$$$ MAKE HUGE MONEY IN CAMS - CLICK HERE $$$$$

09-22-2006, 10:43 AM	#9
ServerGenius Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Amsterdam Posts: 9,377	Send my regards to Albert __________________ \| http://www.sinnerscash.com/ \| ICQ: 370820 \| Skype: SinnersCash \| AdultWhosWho \|

09-22-2006, 10:44 AM	#10
Al. Registered User Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 42	very nice __________________ www.YAKBucks.com

09-22-2006, 10:45 AM	#11
WEGCash Robert Confirmed User Join Date: May 2006 Location: NC Posts: 638	Sure will! He's on his way to LA today. I'll tell him hello. __________________ Robert Sons [email protected] icq - 248328178

09-22-2006, 10:45 AM	#12
C H R I S Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Marina Del Rey Posts: 10,842	awesome - the life raft one is classic.... __________________ C H R I S Retired Porn Veteran BH4L

09-22-2006, 10:52 AM	#13
wjxxx So Fucking Banned Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 4,448

09-22-2006, 11:00 AM	#14
fallenmuffin Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 8,170	...

09-22-2006, 11:08 AM	#15
OG LennyT Wall Street Pimp Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Phoenix, AZ Posts: 14,345	funny stuff LOL __________________ Tradeking - my online broker \| 4.95 a trade \| make real $$

09-22-2006, 11:19 AM	#16
Dirty Dane Sick Fuck Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: www Posts: 9,491

09-22-2006, 11:20 AM	#17
tranza ICQ: 197-556-237 Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: BRASIL !!! Posts: 57,559	I've read a couple of those jokes in the past before. __________________ I'm just a newbie.

09-22-2006, 11:21 AM	#18
squishypimp PostMaster General Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 10,781	lol funny stuff. __________________ Signature For Sale

09-22-2006, 11:23 AM	#19
seeric .......... Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: .......... Posts: 41,917	i thought for sure i'd make that list

09-22-2006, 11:37 AM	#20
Th!nk Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 6,996	hahaha! very funny!!!

09-22-2006, 11:45 AM	#21
LittleSassy Confirmed User Join Date: May 2005 Location: behind you Posts: 7,402	loved the last one... __________________ Proadultoutsourcing.com ~ version 2.0 OFFSHORE SOLUTIONS PROVIDER SINCE 2003 ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE 264-580-554

09-22-2006, 11:46 AM	#22
donross Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 1,295	that was so funny.. nice share bro.. __________________ Email: [email protected] \| Skype: ross.alcazar

09-22-2006, 11:55 AM	#23
mikesouth Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: My High Horse Posts: 6,334	Lets add #8 A true story verifiable even An australian man in his early 40s decided it would be fun to take a dip in the ocean along with his cameraman. Upon coming up on a large stingray the australian man decided it probably wanted to make some sort of human contact, so the cameraman positioned himself ahead of the ray while the australian man approached the ray from above think about how he would narrate the scene by saying some thing like "This Big Stingray has no idea what I am or that I wont eat it" when he got close enough to threaten the big ray it uses its defense mechanism a poisonous stinger on its tail and puntures the mans heart with it, injecting the venom directly into his bloodstream and killing him within moments. The man would qualify for the Darwin award except that he left behind a daughter who has now vowed to make contact with the stingray that killed her father. She may yet win a Darwin award saving the family's dream of winning this dubious honor. Marine biologists the worl over including Michael Cousteau have denounced the man for his stupidity. __________________ Mike South It's No wonder I took up drugs and alcohol, it's the only way I could dumb myself down enough to cope with the morons in this biz.

09-22-2006, 12:31 PM	#24
Lykos Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: World Posts: 31,027	lol __________________

09-22-2006, 12:38 PM	#25
Evil Chris OG Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: 3rd from the Sun Posts: 13,235	that was an entertaining read no matter when any of them happened or didn't happen. __________________ It PAYZE to post on GFY chris at payze.com \| Skype chriswrp

09-22-2006, 12:48 PM	#26
chaze Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 9,752	My god, that can't be real. Runny either way.

09-22-2006, 01:13 PM	#27
woj <&(©¿©)&> Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Chicago Posts: 47,882	good shit __________________ Custom Software Development, email: woj#at#wojfun#.#com to discuss details or skype: wojl2000 or gchat: wojfun or telegram: wojl2000 Affiliate program tools: Hosted Galleries Manager Banner Manager Video Manager Wordpress Affiliate Plugin Pic/Movie of the Day Fansign Generator Zip Manager

09-22-2006, 01:17 PM	#28
HammerALL Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Toronto Posts: 3,506	LOL those are gold __________________ Mario Amaral AKA: Hammerall Affiliate Sales \| Email:[email protected] Skype: Hammerall \| ICQ: 190272140

09-22-2006, 09:31 PM	#30
gecko ****** Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 21,846	lol... those are great. __________________ [email protected]

09-22-2006, 09:44 PM	#31
martinsc Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: 127.0.0.1 Posts: 27,047	__________________ Make Money

09-22-2006, 11:09 PM	#32
Vitasoy GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!! Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 58,202	Some of those are great. __________________ [email protected]

09-22-2006, 11:12 PM	#33
The Ghost IslandDollars.com Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Icq: 176176 Posts: 12,188	#4 was great. He should have mailed back the lyrics to "I fought the law and the, law won" __________________ ISLAND DOLLARS 1000's of Exclusive TS scenes / Constant Updates Best TS Network your surfers will ever join

09-22-2006, 11:20 PM	#34
cess Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 2,921

09-22-2006, 11:27 PM	#35
CyberHustler Masterbaiter Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 26,556	funny shit lol