How Do Some People Survive

[SureFire]

Got this email today......cracked me up !!!!!

ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you
could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half
dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the
counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was
the r eply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"
"That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets

TWO I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the
lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of
those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between
our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my
items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so
she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know
how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll
buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.

THREE A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive
and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing,
she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit
card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."

FOUR I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do
you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced
the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do
you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a
battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked.
"No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys
to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why
don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day
she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing
paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told
her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper,
put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

SIX A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to
take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher
tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says,
I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency!

Life is tough...
it's tougher if you're stupid."

[CDSmith]

Some of those have got to be made up.

[Itchy]

[Scott McD]

A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to
take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher
tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says,
I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency!

I could believe it...

[L-Pink]

I had a job applicant who was filling out a standard job application form, after the "in case of emergency call" question he filled in "911"

[longboardjim]

, this reminds me of a "hostess" i see 5 days a week for lunch , the waiters/esses all know me and know what i drink/eat but for some reason the hostess continues to give me the "welcome to hawaii speech" so i always tell her i plan on going to maui tomorrow , or a luau tonight , etc.

sincerely ~ ..."invisible" - allison moyet

p.s ~ she's a blonde who dye's her hair "jetblack" to look local , obviously there are some things even color cannot correct!

[UniversalPass Pete]

OMG! People are morons!

[DOCTOR 30]

Originally Posted by UniversalPass Pete

OMG! People are morons!

UniversalPass Pete, your program looks very interesting! You seem to offer far more than one would expect. How do you do it?

[Dvae]

Originally Posted by CDSmith

Some of those have got to be made up.

Only some?
How about all!!
And I could add to it but I'm afraid they'd sound made up .

[Spunky]

Har har..those were funny

[Phoenix]

hehe sounds like urban legends

[Raven]

All candidates for Darwin Awards.

[CDSmith]

Originally Posted by Dvae

Only some?
How about all!!
And I could add to it but I'm afraid they'd sound made up .

I could have believed the McDonald's one.

[rodney25]

The truth is, they comprise more than half of the world's population...

[notabook]

"THREE A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive
and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing,
she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit
card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."

I could easily see that happening... I've dealt with people in the past who would search a keyboard for the 'Any Key' for fifteen minutes.

[Dagwolf]

FOUR just really cracked me up. :D

[MetaMan]

i had a buddy who worked in tech for an american call in centre, some guy phoned in and said he needed a new computer because his "slurpee holder was not big enough" ie his CD ROM drive.

[Axzar]

Originally Posted by SureFire

FOUR I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do
you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced
the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do
you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a
battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked.
"No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys
to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why
don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

Tell my Mom I love her.

[MsWild]

lol...those are funny

[DWB]

A few things that have happened to me in Thailand...

1) I called SUBWAY to have them deliver a turkey sandwich, onion, cheese, mustard and oregano. I gave my order and the girl and she asked if I wanted bread with my SANDWICH. I asked her if I ordered a SALAD. She said no, I said, ok then it comes with bread. If I did not want bread, I would have ordered a SALAD. She did not find the humor or logic in that. They never showed up with my food.

2) It is not uncommon for me to be DRIVING MY MOTORBIKE and as I pull up to an intersection where motorbike taxis sit, they will clap their hands and ask me if I need a motorbike taxi.

3) I was eating at The Pizza Company. They gave me a pizza that had the crust burnt to a crisp, as was some of the cheese. I told them I was not going to eat it and please bring me a new one, un-burnt. 20 minutes later they gave me the same pizza but they had cut off the crust and the burnt cheese with a knife. My pizza was a mess and that was totally OK for them to do it... but it took 20 minutes.

4) I caught my maid red handed stealing from me. I was sleeping when she came in (normal) and I woke up to see her with my cash in her hand. The night before I had put my cash in my pocket and rolled the shorts up into a ball, put onto the seat of a chair and slid that chair under the table. She had gone under the table, into my shorts and had my money in her hands. When I confronted her about what she was doing, she told me with a straight face that she was just counting it to make sure it was all still there. The Thai landlord also believed this story and thought it was good of the maid to look after me so well.

[MaddCaz]

booyaaahh...

[Serge Litehead]

...and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

[free4porn]

Originally Posted by Raven

All candidates for Darwin Awards.

yup

[Manowar]

hahah good thread

[Chris Malais]

Originally Posted by SureFire

Got this email today......cracked me up !!!!!

ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you
could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half
dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the
counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was
the r eply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"
"That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets

TWO I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the
lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of
those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between
our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my
items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so
she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know
how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll
buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.

THREE A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive
and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing,
she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit
card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."

FOUR I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do
you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced
the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do
you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a
battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked.
"No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys
to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why
don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day
she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing
paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told
her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper,
put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

SIX A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to
take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher
tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says,
I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency!

Life is tough...
it's tougher if you're stupid."

And you didn't go ECW on them? Webmasters tend to go ICQ on a mother fuckah!

[viva celebs]

funny shit

[johnny o]

one time, while i was in vancouver canada, i stopped by a KFC and asked the 18 year old counter girl
"do you accept US currency?"
she said
"what"?
we repeated this about 3 times until one of the cooks in the back yelled
"MONEY you idiot, it means MONEY!!"

[bknoob]

Originally Posted by L-Pink

I had a job applicant who was filling out a standard job application form, after the "in case of emergency call" question he filled in "911"

Haha, he has a sense of humor

[Vitasoy]

lol.. that gave me a chuckle

[Gina]

One time my mother was in line in a McDonald's, and the guy in front of her tried to pay with a $2 bill. The cashier got mad at him and accused him of trying to pull a fast one, as there is no such thing as a $2 bill.

[Mediachick]

When I was working as a studio manager 3 years ago for a webcam company, I had to train girls and some of them werent 'familiar with computers'.

I was usually very patient with most of them until one put her drink in the CD drive thinking it was a coffee cup holder or another was complaining that the 'wire for the pedal was too short for her foot to reach it' talking obviously about the computer mouse. I love my job

[squishypimp]

sounds like jimthefiend

[LittleSassy]

SIX A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to
take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher
tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says,
I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency!

damn....she is really stupid

[majorbitch]

That's so sad...................... LAWLZ

[rigrunner]

Originally Posted by SureFire

Got this email today......cracked me up !!!!!


TWO I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the
lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of
those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between
our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my
items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so
she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know
how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll
buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.

FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day
she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing
paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told
her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper,
put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

Those two are class. I know somebody (a blonde too!) who tried the photocopying blank paper thing... duh.