How Do Some People Survive - GoFuckYourself.com

SureFire · 08-28-2006, 06:06 PM

Got this email today......cracked me up !!!!!

ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you
could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half
dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the
counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was
the r eply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"
"That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets

TWO I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the
lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of
those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between
our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my
items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so
she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know
how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll
buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.

THREE A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive
and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing,
she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit
card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."

FOUR I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do
you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced
the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do
you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a
battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked.
"No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys
to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why
don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day
she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing
paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told
her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper,
put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

SIX A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to
take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher
tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says,
I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency!

Life is tough...
it's tougher if you're stupid."

CDSmith · 08-28-2006, 06:10 PM

Some of those have got to be made up.

Itchy · 08-28-2006, 06:12 PM

Scott McD · 08-28-2006, 06:19 PM

Quote:

A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to
take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher
tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says,
I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency!

I could believe it...

L-Pink · 08-28-2006, 06:25 PM

I had a job applicant who was filling out a standard job application form, after the "in case of emergency call" question he filled in "911"

longboardjim · 08-28-2006, 06:29 PM

, this reminds me of a "hostess" i see 5 days a week for lunch , the waiters/esses all know me and know what i drink/eat but for some reason the hostess continues to give me the "welcome to hawaii speech" so i always tell her i plan on going to maui tomorrow , or a luau tonight , etc.

sincerely ~ ..."invisible" - allison moyet

p.s ~ she's a blonde who dye's her hair "jetblack" to look local , obviously there are some things even color cannot correct!

UniversalPass Pete · 08-28-2006, 06:33 PM

OMG! People are morons!

DOCTOR 30 · 08-28-2006, 06:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UniversalPass Pete

OMG! People are morons!

UniversalPass Pete, your program looks very interesting! You seem to offer far more than one would expect. How do you do it?

Dvae · 08-28-2006, 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CDSmith

Some of those have got to be made up.

Only some?
How about all!!
And I could add to it but I'm afraid they'd sound made up

.

Spunky · 08-28-2006, 06:56 PM

Har har..those were funny

Phoenix · 08-28-2006, 07:07 PM

hehe sounds like urban legends

Raven · 08-28-2006, 07:10 PM

All candidates for Darwin Awards.

CDSmith · 08-28-2006, 07:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dvae

Only some?
How about all!!
And I could add to it but I'm afraid they'd sound made up

.

I could have believed the McDonald's one.

rodney25 · 08-28-2006, 11:35 PM

The truth is, they comprise more than half of the world's population...

notabook · 08-28-2006, 11:41 PM

"THREE A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive
and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing,
she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit
card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."

I could easily see that happening... I've dealt with people in the past who would search a keyboard for the 'Any Key' for fifteen minutes.

Dagwolf · 08-28-2006, 11:50 PM

FOUR just really cracked me up. :D

MetaMan · 08-28-2006, 11:54 PM

i had a buddy who worked in tech for an american call in centre, some guy phoned in and said he needed a new computer because his "slurpee holder was not big enough" ie his CD ROM drive.

Axzar · 08-29-2006, 02:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SureFire

FOUR I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do
you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced
the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do
you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a
battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked.
"No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys
to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why
don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

Tell my Mom I love her.

MsWild · 08-30-2006, 05:33 AM

lol...those are funny

DWB · 08-30-2006, 05:54 AM

A few things that have happened to me in Thailand...

1) I called SUBWAY to have them deliver a turkey sandwich, onion, cheese, mustard and oregano. I gave my order and the girl and she asked if I wanted bread with my SANDWICH. I asked her if I ordered a SALAD. She said no, I said, ok then it comes with bread. If I did not want bread, I would have ordered a SALAD. She did not find the humor or logic in that. They never showed up with my food.

2) It is not uncommon for me to be DRIVING MY MOTORBIKE and as I pull up to an intersection where motorbike taxis sit, they will clap their hands and ask me if I need a motorbike taxi.

3) I was eating at The Pizza Company. They gave me a pizza that had the crust burnt to a crisp, as was some of the cheese. I told them I was not going to eat it and please bring me a new one, un-burnt. 20 minutes later they gave me the same pizza but they had cut off the crust and the burnt cheese with a knife. My pizza was a mess and that was totally OK for them to do it... but it took 20 minutes.

4) I caught my maid red handed stealing from me. I was sleeping when she came in (normal) and I woke up to see her with my cash in her hand. The night before I had put my cash in my pocket and rolled the shorts up into a ball, put onto the seat of a chair and slid that chair under the table. She had gone under the table, into my shorts and had my money in her hands. When I confronted her about what she was doing, she told me with a straight face that she was just counting it to make sure it was all still there. The Thai landlord also believed this story and thought it was good of the maid to look after me so well.

MaddCaz · 08-30-2006, 06:02 AM

booyaaahh...

Serge Litehead · 08-30-2006, 06:29 AM

...and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

free4porn · 08-30-2006, 06:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raven

All candidates for Darwin Awards.

yup

Manowar · 08-30-2006, 08:44 AM

hahah good thread

Chris Malais · 08-30-2006, 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SureFire

Got this email today......cracked me up !!!!!

ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you
could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half
dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the
counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was
the r eply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"
"That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets

TWO I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the
lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of
those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between
our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my
items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so
she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know
how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll
buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.

THREE A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive
and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing,
she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit
card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."

FOUR I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do
you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced
the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do
you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a
battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked.
"No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys
to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why
don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day
she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing
paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told
her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper,
put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

SIX A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to
take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher
tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says,
I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency!

Life is tough...
it's tougher if you're stupid."

And you didn't go ECW on them? Webmasters tend to go ICQ on a mother fuckah!

viva celebs · 08-30-2006, 09:58 AM

funny shit

johnny o · 08-30-2006, 10:01 AM

one time, while i was in vancouver canada, i stopped by a KFC and asked the 18 year old counter girl
"do you accept US currency?"
she said
"what"?
we repeated this about 3 times until one of the cooks in the back yelled
"MONEY you idiot, it means MONEY!!"

bknoob · 08-30-2006, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L-Pink

I had a job applicant who was filling out a standard job application form, after the "in case of emergency call" question he filled in "911"

Haha, he has a sense of humor

Vitasoy · 08-30-2006, 11:46 AM

lol.. that gave me a chuckle

Gina · 08-30-2006, 11:57 AM

One time my mother was in line in a McDonald's, and the guy in front of her tried to pay with a $2 bill. The cashier got mad at him and accused him of trying to pull a fast one, as there is no such thing as a $2 bill.

Mediachick · 08-30-2006, 12:23 PM

When I was working as a studio manager 3 years ago for a webcam company, I had to train girls and some of them werent 'familiar with computers'.

I was usually very patient with most of them until one put her drink in the CD drive thinking it was a coffee cup holder or another was complaining that the 'wire for the pedal was too short for her foot to reach it' talking obviously about the computer mouse. I love my job

squishypimp · 08-30-2006, 12:32 PM

sounds like jimthefiend

LittleSassy · 08-30-2006, 12:43 PM

Quote:

SIX A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to
take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher
tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says,
I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency!

damn....she is really stupid

majorbitch · 08-30-2006, 12:45 PM

That's so sad...................... LAWLZ

rigrunner · 08-30-2006, 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SureFire

Got this email today......cracked me up !!!!!

TWO I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the
lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of
those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between
our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my
items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so
she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know
how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll
buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.

FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day
she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing
paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told
her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper,
put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

Those two are class. I know somebody (a blonde too!) who tried the photocopying blank paper thing... duh.

08-28-2006, 06:06 PM	#1
SureFire Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: internet Posts: 4,398	How Do Some People Survive Got this email today......cracked me up !!!!! ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the r eply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets TWO I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened. THREE A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy." FOUR I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk." FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies. SIX A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency! Life is tough... it's tougher if you're stupid."

08-28-2006, 06:10 PM	#2
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	Some of those have got to be made up. __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

08-28-2006, 06:12 PM	#3
Itchy Datetronix.com Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Chill-A-Wack BC Posts: 6,525	__________________ ICQ: 2588560 Skype: Pornocop

08-28-2006, 06:33 PM	#7
UniversalPass Pete Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Los Angeles, CA http://www.universalpass.com Posts: 7,368	OMG! People are morons! __________________ V4.0 It's Here! NOT JUST AVS ANYMORE! Teen Whore Fetish All Milf Sluts Real Asian Cunts All Latina Cunts Massive XXX Boobs All Out Anal Since 1997. ICQ: 107746038

08-28-2006, 06:56 PM	#10
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,949	Har har..those were funny __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

08-28-2006, 06:25 PM	#5
L-Pink working on my tan Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Florida/Kentucky Posts: 39,151	I had a job applicant who was filling out a standard job application form, after the "in case of emergency call" question he filled in "911"

08-28-2006, 06:29 PM	#6
longboardjim Registered User Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: hawaii U.S.A Posts: 45	, this reminds me of a "hostess" i see 5 days a week for lunch , the waiters/esses all know me and know what i drink/eat but for some reason the hostess continues to give me the "welcome to hawaii speech" so i always tell her i plan on going to maui tomorrow , or a luau tonight , etc. sincerely ~ ..."invisible" - allison moyet p.s ~ she's a blonde who dye's her hair "jetblack" to look local , obviously there are some things even color cannot correct!

08-28-2006, 07:07 PM	#11
Phoenix BACON BACON BACON Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Poems everybody, the laddie fancies himself a poet Posts: 35,465	hehe sounds like urban legends __________________ Skype Phoenixskype1 Telegram PhoenixBrad https://quantads.io

08-28-2006, 07:10 PM	#12
Raven Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 6,874	All candidates for Darwin Awards. __________________ Raven ~RETIRED~

08-28-2006, 11:35 PM	#14
rodney25 Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 7,090	The truth is, they comprise more than half of the world's population... __________________ AFFORDABLE Hosting -- Extreme Dependability -- FULL Service ICQ ME for DAMN GOOD HOSTING DEALS: 5380773

08-28-2006, 11:41 PM	#15
notabook Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Not a Library! Posts: 9,748	"THREE A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy." I could easily see that happening... I've dealt with people in the past who would search a keyboard for the 'Any Key' for fifteen minutes. __________________

08-28-2006, 11:50 PM	#16
Dagwolf President of Canada Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Leaving Hell, Entering Limbo Posts: 23,141	FOUR just really cracked me up. :D __________________ Sleep well, and dream of large women.

08-28-2006, 11:54 PM	#17
MetaMan I AM WEB 2.0 Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 28,682	i had a buddy who worked in tech for an american call in centre, some guy phoned in and said he needed a new computer because his "slurpee holder was not big enough" ie his CD ROM drive.

08-30-2006, 05:33 AM	#19
MsWild Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 2,803	lol...those are funny __________________ Always the biggest checks: [img]http://****************/sig/fhv3_j2_624x80_2.gif[/img]

08-30-2006, 05:54 AM	#20
DWB Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Encrypted. Access denied. Posts: 31,779	A few things that have happened to me in Thailand... 1) I called SUBWAY to have them deliver a turkey sandwich, onion, cheese, mustard and oregano. I gave my order and the girl and she asked if I wanted bread with my SANDWICH. I asked her if I ordered a SALAD. She said no, I said, ok then it comes with bread. If I did not want bread, I would have ordered a SALAD. She did not find the humor or logic in that. They never showed up with my food. 2) It is not uncommon for me to be DRIVING MY MOTORBIKE and as I pull up to an intersection where motorbike taxis sit, they will clap their hands and ask me if I need a motorbike taxi. 3) I was eating at The Pizza Company. They gave me a pizza that had the crust burnt to a crisp, as was some of the cheese. I told them I was not going to eat it and please bring me a new one, un-burnt. 20 minutes later they gave me the same pizza but they had cut off the crust and the burnt cheese with a knife. My pizza was a mess and that was totally OK for them to do it... but it took 20 minutes. 4) I caught my maid red handed stealing from me. I was sleeping when she came in (normal) and I woke up to see her with my cash in her hand. The night before I had put my cash in my pocket and rolled the shorts up into a ball, put onto the seat of a chair and slid that chair under the table. She had gone under the table, into my shorts and had my money in her hands. When I confronted her about what she was doing, she told me with a straight face that she was just counting it to make sure it was all still there. The Thai landlord also believed this story and thought it was good of the maid to look after me so well.

08-30-2006, 06:02 AM	#21
MaddCaz Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Illinois Posts: 9,483	booyaaahh... __________________ BigCocks.com - MatureWomen.com - Tranny.com - DrunkGirls.com - TeenGirls.com - MonsterCock.com and many more... Click here to see them all!

08-30-2006, 06:29 AM	#22
Serge Litehead Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Behind the scenes Posts: 5,190	...and proceeded to make five "blank" copies. __________________ SilverCrocodile.com Adult web design since '05

08-30-2006, 08:44 AM	#24
Manowar jellyfish Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 71,528	hahah good thread

08-30-2006, 09:58 AM	#26
viva celebs Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: United Kingdom of Great Britain, Northern Ireland and protectorates Posts: 681	funny shit

08-30-2006, 10:01 AM	#27
johnny o Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: los angeles Posts: 825	one time, while i was in vancouver canada, i stopped by a KFC and asked the 18 year old counter girl "do you accept US currency?" she said "what"? we repeated this about 3 times until one of the cooks in the back yelled "MONEY you idiot, it means MONEY!!" __________________ http://candydreams.com info[at]candydreams[dot]com

08-30-2006, 11:46 AM	#29
Vitasoy GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!! Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 58,202	lol.. that gave me a chuckle __________________ [email protected]

08-30-2006, 11:57 AM	#30
Gina Confirmed User Join Date: May 2005 Location: In the heart of Porn Valley Posts: 106	One time my mother was in line in a McDonald's, and the guy in front of her tried to pay with a $2 bill. The cashier got mad at him and accused him of trying to pull a fast one, as there is no such thing as a $2 bill.

08-30-2006, 12:23 PM	#31
Mediachick Confirmed User Join Date: May 2006 Location: Montreal, Canada Posts: 897	When I was working as a studio manager 3 years ago for a webcam company, I had to train girls and some of them werent 'familiar with computers'. I was usually very patient with most of them until one put her drink in the CD drive thinking it was a coffee cup holder or another was complaining that the 'wire for the pedal was too short for her foot to reach it' talking obviously about the computer mouse. I love my job __________________ --MC-- Live High Def Video Chat Converts! ICQ: 276456001 The Complete Live Video Chat Solution

08-30-2006, 12:32 PM	#32
squishypimp PostMaster General Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 10,781	sounds like jimthefiend __________________ Signature For Sale

08-30-2006, 12:45 PM	#34
majorbitch Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 708	That's so sad...................... LAWLZ __________________