A guy breaks into a house... - GoFuckYourself.com

Donny · 08-22-2006, 09:33 PM

A guy breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which his wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

JD · 08-22-2006, 09:34 PM

hahaha ouch

Violetta · 08-22-2006, 09:35 PM

hehe... great!

scotty2hotty1111 · 08-22-2006, 09:37 PM

hahahahah

Tullian Zombie · 08-22-2006, 09:39 PM

blowme_DL · 08-22-2006, 10:58 PM

great stuff

lol

Slap Dot · 08-22-2006, 11:09 PM

one word..

OWNED

BradM · 08-22-2006, 11:11 PM

Awessssommmeeeeeeee lollll

sexybabe · 08-22-2006, 11:13 PM

SmutGiant · 08-22-2006, 11:22 PM

a humourous piece of literature indeed, but too predictable to be laugh out loud funny, ya dig? see sig!

Bdiddy · 08-22-2006, 11:26 PM

poor bastard...

notabook · 08-22-2006, 11:31 PM

Looks like he's going to learn the meaning of tough love

k0nr4d · 08-22-2006, 11:36 PM

jOE =D · 08-22-2006, 11:38 PM

HAHA! Good one!!

sniperwolf · 08-22-2006, 11:50 PM

lmao... funny shit.., thanks dude

PussyTeenies · 08-22-2006, 11:57 PM

illeana · 08-22-2006, 11:58 PM

That was great

Sarah_Jayne · 08-23-2006, 12:16 AM

he got it in the end

betabomb · 08-23-2006, 12:23 AM

ty for that

Stacey_JoinRightNow · 08-23-2006, 12:40 AM

eowwww.... hahhahhaha, thats kinda weird!

wargames · 08-23-2006, 12:42 AM

Heard it before but still fucking hilarious

calibra · 08-23-2006, 12:43 AM

rodney25 · 08-23-2006, 12:51 AM

What a twist!

Sparks · 08-23-2006, 12:54 AM

Lol that's a good one

free4porn · 08-23-2006, 01:17 AM

lol cool

hzoltan · 08-23-2006, 02:11 AM

thank God the wife told the guy where to find vaseline. that is love

Wiggles · 08-23-2006, 03:01 AM

haha i love that joke

natas · 08-23-2006, 03:09 AM

nice

Scott McD · 08-23-2006, 03:11 AM

Sucks to be him...

FunForOne · 08-23-2006, 03:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sarah_webinc

he got it in the end

Sarah_Jayne · 08-23-2006, 03:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FunForOne

thank you *bow*

Donny · 08-23-2006, 10:30 PM

We all need to see this again tonight.

minusonebit · 08-23-2006, 10:47 PM

avolongold · 08-23-2006, 10:50 PM

that sucks

avolongold · 08-23-2006, 10:51 PM

not the joke but that sucks for that guy

madawgz · 08-23-2006, 10:54 PM

haha

coinzblow · 08-23-2006, 10:56 PM

Never gets old :p

nAtuRaLbEautY · 08-24-2006, 12:12 AM

haha!!!!

i wish him luck!
great one

sicone · 08-24-2006, 01:49 AM

sucks to be him, but at least the robber asked where the vasoline was

VS_Eddie · 08-24-2006, 11:26 AM

That's awesome!

u-Bob · 08-24-2006, 11:46 AM

Lol

MrCain · 08-24-2006, 11:54 AM

LMAO

WalkerTR · 08-24-2006, 12:01 PM

GT-Omar · 08-24-2006, 12:10 PM

Niceeeeeeee good one!!

Pipeline Q · 08-24-2006, 12:12 PM

LMAO i haven't heard that one ever before

BluewireAngie · 08-24-2006, 12:16 PM

lol!

LittleSassy · 08-24-2006, 12:47 PM

LOL....that will hurt

gooboy · 08-24-2006, 01:17 PM

axelcat · 08-24-2006, 01:48 PM

gimo33 · 08-24-2006, 01:51 PM

50.... nice joke by the way... lmao!...

08-22-2006, 09:33 PM	#1
Donny As you wish... Industry Role: Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 13,754	A guy breaks into a house... A guy breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which his wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

08-22-2006, 09:35 PM	#3
Violetta Affiliate Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 28,735	hehe... great! __________________ M&A Queen

08-22-2006, 09:37 PM	#4
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08-22-2006, 09:39 PM	#5
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08-22-2006, 10:58 PM	#6
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08-22-2006, 09:34 PM	#2
JD Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 22,651	hahaha ouch

08-22-2006, 11:09 PM	#7
Slap Dot Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: BASS Posts: 3,168	one word.. OWNED __________________ » AIM: slapdotted » Skype: slapdot » ICQ: 190444

08-22-2006, 11:11 PM	#8
BradM Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: 1123,6536,5231 Posts: 3,397	Awessssommmeeeeeeee lollll

08-22-2006, 11:13 PM	#9
sexybabe Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 3,129

08-22-2006, 11:22 PM	#10
SmutGiant Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 4,895	a humourous piece of literature indeed, but too predictable to be laugh out loud funny, ya dig? see sig!

08-22-2006, 11:26 PM	#11
Bdiddy Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Seattle & Manila Posts: 2,456	poor bastard... __________________ "..and which one of you had the prime rib?" - Waiter "frankly, I don't see how that's any of your business!" - Peter Griffin

08-22-2006, 11:31 PM	#12
notabook Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Not a Library! Posts: 9,748	Looks like he's going to learn the meaning of tough love __________________

08-22-2006, 11:36 PM	#13
k0nr4d Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Poland Posts: 9,229

08-22-2006, 11:38 PM	#14
jOE =D Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 118	HAHA! Good one!! __________________ PunkRockChix - You're source for the hottest punk rock chicks on the net! ICQ: 314-567-701 \| AIM: practiceTITOism

08-22-2006, 11:50 PM	#15
sniperwolf Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 17,743	lmao... funny shit.., thanks dude __________________ ~Accepting design works~

08-22-2006, 11:57 PM	#16
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08-22-2006, 11:58 PM	#17
illeana Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 433	That was great __________________ illeana Promote me and I'll screw your brains out.... ok not really but you'll make a lot of money!!

08-23-2006, 12:16 AM	#18
Sarah_Jayne Now with more Jayne Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 40,077	he got it in the end

08-23-2006, 12:23 AM	#19
betabomb Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 777	ty for that __________________

08-23-2006, 12:40 AM	#20
Stacey_JoinRightNow Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Montreal Posts: 6,269	eowwww.... hahhahhaha, thats kinda weird! __________________

08-23-2006, 12:42 AM	#21
wargames Kliris Join Date: May 2003 Location: ca Posts: 10,423	Heard it before but still fucking hilarious __________________ ICQ 212-115-582 Email Steve at Vas Media Group .com

08-23-2006, 12:43 AM	#22
calibra Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 4,357	__________________ GetCyberCash.com

08-23-2006, 12:51 AM	#23
rodney25 Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 7,090	What a twist! __________________ AFFORDABLE Hosting -- Extreme Dependability -- FULL Service ICQ ME for DAMN GOOD HOSTING DEALS: 5380773

08-23-2006, 12:54 AM	#24
Sparks Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Southern CA Posts: 2,466	Lol that's a good one

08-23-2006, 01:17 AM	#25
free4porn Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 4,654	lol cool __________________ Switch To Fling Now! I'm on 1:201 paid signups sending little traffic! Make $$$ Free Porn

08-23-2006, 02:11 AM	#26
hzoltan Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: 21sextury Cash HQ Posts: 2,007	thank God the wife told the guy where to find vaseline. that is love __________________ Gabriel - [email protected] - ICQ 636275551

08-23-2006, 03:01 AM	#27
Wiggles Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 14,423	haha i love that joke __________________ no sig

08-23-2006, 03:09 AM	#28
natas Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: : unknown Posts: 3,377	nice

08-23-2006, 03:11 AM	#29
Scott McD Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Glasgow, Scotland Posts: 67,795	Sucks to be him... __________________ I Buy My High Quality Traffic Here, You Should Too!

08-23-2006, 10:30 PM	#32
Donny As you wish... Industry Role: Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 13,754	We all need to see this again tonight.

08-23-2006, 10:47 PM	#33
minusonebit So Fucking Banned Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: [email protected] Posts: 7,391

08-23-2006, 10:50 PM	#34
avolongold Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 580	that sucks

08-23-2006, 10:51 PM	#35
avolongold Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 580	not the joke but that sucks for that guy

08-23-2006, 10:54 PM	#36
madawgz 8.8.8.8 Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Noordermarkt Posts: 30,509	haha __________________ TAEMDLRMSKRJIXMRLSMRJ.

08-23-2006, 10:56 PM	#37
coinzblow Confirmed User Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 116	Never gets old :p