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Old 07-28-2006, 12:49 PM   #1
Hooligan
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I had a girlfriend who would never take a shit if I was there, or...

if she had to, she'd try to be covert, or lie about it.

One time in particular:

I'm at her house. She had two bathrooms. One master bathroom, and one in the hallway. So she tells me she feels sick and has to throw up. So she goes to her bathroom while I'm sitting there in the living room.

She comes out and sits next to me and tells me she's feeling better. So I jokingly ask her if she brushed her teeth. She looked off weirdly for a few seconds, then said something like "Yeah, of course."

At that point I KNEW SHE WAS LYING! Time was precious. If she had taken a shit, the bathroom would not stink from it forever.

Something happened, she went out to her car, had to look up something on the computer in the other room, I don't remember. At that point, it was my chance to sneak over to her bathroom.

Sure enough, it smelled like shit.

That is my covert girlfriend shitting story for the day.
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Old 07-28-2006, 01:05 PM   #2
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ya know... i haven't seen my girl goto the bathroom to shit in 3 years... :eek
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Old 07-28-2006, 01:08 PM   #3
detoxed
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Haha you mean she doesnt shit on your chest?
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Old 07-28-2006, 01:15 PM   #4
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LOL. That's funny.

I don't think I'd be embarassed if my bf knew I took a massive dump.
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Old 07-28-2006, 01:28 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by detoxed
Haha you mean she doesnt shit on your chest?
well besides that
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Old 07-28-2006, 01:48 PM   #6
Hooligan
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Quote:
Originally Posted by detoxed
Haha you mean she doesnt shit on your chest?
I pay an escort to shit on me.

Basic info:

Costs: $125 flat fee
Load: About 2 - 3 poops per session
Fun: I like to rub it on my chest
Timing: It's hard to time my visits to her poomps, but we manage.
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Old 07-28-2006, 01:51 PM   #7
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dude... no one can light up a toilet like a chick..

duke
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Old 07-28-2006, 01:56 PM   #8
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My girlfriends shits smell worse than mine. So there's no point in her even trying to hide it...
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Old 07-28-2006, 01:59 PM   #9
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...damnnnnnnn!! that's it.. that's disgusting
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Old 07-28-2006, 02:00 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by majorbitch
LOL. That's funny.

I don't think I'd be embarassed if my bf knew I took a massive dump.
Dont Be, I emailed him the thread.

Oh, The gratitude of thy.
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Old 07-28-2006, 02:05 PM   #11
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Old 07-28-2006, 02:15 PM   #12
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my gf and i share shit stories from time to time lol
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Old 07-28-2006, 02:20 PM   #13
lush_life
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when i was a kid, i kinda thought my mom was the only lady that shat
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Old 07-28-2006, 02:22 PM   #14
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So your girlfriend has a bowel movement and you can't wait to get up and go smell it and you say SHE is being covert? lol
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Old 07-28-2006, 02:25 PM   #15
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my girl doesnt hide it. i had a cousin that used to tell me that she never took a shit in her life. i was like "yea right"!! lol
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Old 07-28-2006, 02:25 PM   #16
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well if that's not a hint to run the fuck away then I don't know what is....
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Old 07-28-2006, 02:25 PM   #17
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Quote:
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So your girlfriend has a bowel movement and you can't wait to get up and go smell it and you say SHE is being covert? lol

i was thinking the same thing



This is a shitty thread
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Old 07-28-2006, 02:26 PM   #18
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Me and my gf shit together and take turns wiping each others ass crack.
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Old 07-28-2006, 02:26 PM   #19
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great story
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Old 07-28-2006, 02:30 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scott McD
My girlfriends shits smell worse than mine. So there's no point in her even trying to hide it...
LOL I bet you love that.
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Old 07-28-2006, 02:40 PM   #21
elartist
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hahahaha wtf?
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Old 07-28-2006, 02:42 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by majorbitch
LOL. That's funny.

I don't think I'd be embarassed if my bf knew I took a massive dump.

My kind of woman.
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Old 07-28-2006, 07:35 PM   #23
Hollywood376
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hooligan
Sure enough, it smelled like shit.
That's some detective work. I think you would have been better off NOT smelling someones shit.
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Old 07-28-2006, 07:43 PM   #24
Lazonby
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I still don't think the Queen of England shits. I can imagine her pissing, but not shitting. I used to feel the same about Princess Diana also.
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Old 07-28-2006, 07:45 PM   #25
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But the thought of the Queen blocking up the toilet with paper because she did a 'messy one' then either pushing it down by hand or blaming it on the Corgis is amusing.
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Old 07-28-2006, 07:48 PM   #26
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dude... no one can light up a toilet like a chick..

duke
agreed
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Old 07-28-2006, 07:49 PM   #27
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Now that you mention it I can't even remember the last time I heard a girlfriend shit.

They are pretty damn good at hiding it.
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Old 07-28-2006, 07:50 PM   #28
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hmm interesting!
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Old 07-28-2006, 07:51 PM   #29
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It took about 6 months of living together before my girlfriend finally confessed she was going to take a shit for the first time, and that was only after I made such a big deal about how I was going to take, "the monster of all craps." on several occasions.
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Old 07-28-2006, 08:15 PM   #30
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I was at a girls house and spotted a floater .... I preceded to tell her that hat-pins were originally invented so Victorian women could pop and sink their floaters.

We didn't see much of each other after that night.
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Old 07-28-2006, 08:46 PM   #31
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alot of the girls have constipation so shitting is like a sacred ritual to them
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Old 07-28-2006, 09:12 PM   #32
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Since when is the smell of vomit that much better than shit?
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Old 07-28-2006, 09:39 PM   #33
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alot girls are weird like that, i got go i dont care who hears.
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Old 07-28-2006, 09:41 PM   #34
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I've never seen my wife take a shit in the 9 years we've been together...
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Old 07-28-2006, 09:44 PM   #35
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I once had to take an emergency liquid shit at a small restaurant. And I was on a date! To my horror, the girl got up and used the SAME toilet a relatively short time later. I knew she came in contact with my smell because she was in and out so fast, probably under a minute. Im absolutely certain it derailed the rest of the night. It was pretty much dead silent at the table afterwards :/
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Old 07-28-2006, 10:26 PM   #36
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Quote:
Originally Posted by effer
I once had to take an emergency liquid shit at a small restaurant. And I was on a date! To my horror, the girl got up and used the SAME toilet a relatively short time later. I knew she came in contact with my smell because she was in and out so fast, probably under a minute. Im absolutely certain it derailed the rest of the night. It was pretty much dead silent at the table afterwards :/

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