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Old 07-20-2006, 01:15 PM   #1
Fizzgig
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Give me all your thoughts on God

Because I'd really like to meet that bitch and pull her hair out.
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Old 07-20-2006, 01:17 PM   #2
StuartD
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all my thoughts on God = '';
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Old 07-20-2006, 01:18 PM   #3
Hooligan
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You're going to hell, sinner.
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Old 07-20-2006, 01:20 PM   #4
sexypond
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God is super natural , He is the creater of this world
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Old 07-20-2006, 01:20 PM   #5
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why god is "she" maybe it is HIM?
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Old 07-20-2006, 01:22 PM   #6
Danid0llface
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maybe God has no sex?
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Old 07-20-2006, 01:29 PM   #7
rip raster
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Old 07-20-2006, 01:33 PM   #8
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God came to me in a dream
I knew it was God
'Cause he had a long white beard
And a pink striped tunic
And the word "God" was spelled out above him, and an arrow pointed at his head

Well, just now it occurs to me, he could be a "Dog"
He could be a "Dgo"
He could be a "Gdo", as in "Waiting for Godot"

But no, no, no, it spells God!
The Kaballah is for crazy people, not for me
And not, might I be so bold to say, not for God

And I said Hey God!
(Hey God! Hey God!)
How's it hangin', tough guy?

He said "Lower yourself before Me!"
I lay down naked on the floor
He said "We're on the 14th floor. Can't you get a little lower?"
So I got in the elevator, and rode to the basement,
And I lay down naked on the floor
And it was cold and it was crawly

And he said "Lower yourself before Me!"
I said "I'm lyin' naked in a basement floor!"
He said "We're up at 3000 ft here."

So I went to the airport
Hopped a flight to Phoenix, which wasn't hard to do
Because every plane flies to Phoenix
Even if you're flying from say, New York to Boston, you gotta go through Phoenix

And when I got to Phoenix, I rented me a car,
From Budget Rent-a-Car,
'Cause Hertz and Avis and the others wouldn't rent to me in my nakedness
And I rode out to Death VAlley,
And I lay down naked on the floor

And I said Hey God!
(Hey God! Hey God!)
How's it hangin', tough guy?

He said "The Age of Specialization is over."
I said "Excuse me?"
He said "The Age of Specialization is over."
I said "Excuse me, God. I thought that's what you said.
But you sound like a Time Magazine editorial.
If I go back to the others, and say 'I just talked to God,
And the eleventh commandment includes the word Specialization', we're sunk."

And he said "What do you mean, eleventh commandment?
There are only eight, right?"
I said "Ten, God, ten. You gave Moses Ten Commandments."
He said "Excuse me, I oughta know! I only gave him eight!"
I said "Well, I guess he added two more on his own."

And God seethed, and thunder and lightning crashed the heavens,
And God said "At least I hope he didn't change the ones I gave him.
Like the one about the moose?"
I said "The one about the moose?"
He said "Yeah, you know, 'Thou Shalt Not be Mean to a Moose."
And I said "Oh yeah... of course, commandment six, about the moose..."

And I thought, now there's a chutzpah.
I'm here lying to the Lord!
And I thought, yeah whatever, no one's perfect.
Besides, I don't need that lightning jazz
While I'm naked in the desert.
(See how that works?)

So I said "No more specialization, eh?"
He said "Yes, that's right.
Everybody can drive,
And everyone can cook.
Everyone can paint,
And everyone can sing,
And everyone can dance,
And everyone can love."

I said "Whoa, hold on there buddy.
Sounds like a nation of dilettantes you want."
He said "That is correct.
Everybody should do everything."

I shrugged my shoulders and said "Ok, I'll tell 'em."
But he tapped me on the shoulder and said "One more thing."
And I said "Yeah, what is it?"
And he made me stand up,
And he gave me some underwear.
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Old 07-20-2006, 01:35 PM   #9
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Is this a serious thread? Cuz I'm not gunna start typing all my feelings on the subject if no one really cares.
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Old 07-20-2006, 01:36 PM   #10
Libertine
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MeNiceGirl
Is this a serious thread? Cuz I'm not gunna start typing all my feelings on the subject if no one really cares.
Yes, it is. Please, type out your feelings on the subject and share them with us.
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Old 07-20-2006, 01:37 PM   #11
fitzmulti
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MeNiceGirl
Is this a serious thread? Cuz I'm not gunna start typing all my feelings on the subject if no one really cares.
Or, it might be a reference to this:


Dishwalla

Counting Blue Cars Lyrics


Must of been mid afternoon
I could tell by how far the child's shadow stretched out and
He walked with a purpose
In his sneakers, down the street
He had, many questions
Like children often do
He said,
Tell me all your thoughts on God?
Tell me am I very far?

Must of been late afternoon
On our way the sun broke free of the clouds
We count only blue cars
Skip the cracks, in the street
And ask many questions
Like children often do
We said,
Tell me all your thoughts on God?
'Cause I would really like to meet her.
And ask her why we're who we are.
Tell me all your thoughts on God,
Cause I am on my way to see her.
So tell me am I very far -
Am I very far now?

Its getting cold picked up the pace
How our shoes make hard noises in this place
Our clothes are stained
We pass many, cross eyed people
And ask many questions
Like children often do

Tell me all your thoughts on God?
'Cause I would really like to meet her.
And ask her why we're who we are.
Tell me all your thoughts on God?
'Cause I am on my way to see her.
So tell me am I very far?
Am I very far now
Am I very far now
Am I very far now
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Old 07-20-2006, 01:37 PM   #12
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missing in action
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Old 07-20-2006, 01:39 PM   #13
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he is good guy in some ways )
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Old 07-20-2006, 01:40 PM   #14
Fizzgig
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fitzmulti
Or, it might be a reference to this:


Dishwalla

Tell me all your thoughts on God?
'Cause I would really like to meet her.
I said it wrong.

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Old 07-20-2006, 01:41 PM   #15
Fizzgig
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MeNiceGirl
Is this a serious thread? Cuz I'm not gunna start typing all my feelings on the subject if no one really cares.
It isn't really very serious, but if you start a serious thread about God you'll get a lot of serious replies. God is a popular subject here.
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Old 07-20-2006, 01:45 PM   #16
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I am God, you are God, everyone is God... for God exists in each of us.
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Old 07-20-2006, 02:02 PM   #17
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Old 07-20-2006, 02:24 PM   #18
nikki99
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Originally Posted by Hooligan
You're going to hell, sinner.
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Old 07-20-2006, 02:25 PM   #19
blazi
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someone having a bad day LOL
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Old 07-20-2006, 02:29 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by maalox
!!
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Old 07-20-2006, 02:33 PM   #21
Antonio
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not much of a believer
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Old 07-20-2006, 02:35 PM   #22
Murderous
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God is just that. God. Just believing in God, is in fact God. Nothing less, nothing more.
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Old 07-20-2006, 02:43 PM   #23
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There is only one God, and he the Robocop Jesus. Know that he rebooted for your sins and that you too may be saved through his electronic touch.

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Old 07-20-2006, 02:47 PM   #24
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Quotes from the movie Dogma:

Rufus: He still digs humanity, but it bothers Him to see the shit that gets carried out in His name - wars, bigotry, but especially the factioning of all the religions. He said humanity took a good idea and, like always, built a belief structure on it.
Bethany: Having beliefs isn't good?
Rufus: I think it's better to have ideas. You can change an idea. Changing a belief is trickier. Life should malleable and progressive; working from idea to idea permits that. Beliefs anchor you to certain points and limit growth; new ideas can't generate. Life becomes stagnant.

Serendipity: I have issues with anyone who treats faith as a burden instead of a blessing. You people don't celebrate your faith; you mourn it.

Serendipity: When are you people going to learn? It's not about who's right or wrong. No denomination's nailed it yet, and they never will because they're all too self-righteous to realize that it doesn't matter what you have faith in, just that you have faith. Your hearts are in the right place, but your brains need to wake up.


6 more to 500...
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Old 07-20-2006, 02:48 PM   #25
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God is an Iron.
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Old 07-20-2006, 02:55 PM   #26
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"I look at God behind his big oak desk, taking notes on a pad, but God's got this all wrong.
We are not special.
We are not crap or trash, either.
We just are.
We just are, and what happens just happens.
And God says, 'No that's not right.'
Yeah. Well. Whatever. You can't teach God anything."
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Old 07-20-2006, 03:17 PM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brandon99
No denomination's nailed it yet, and they never will because they're all too self-righteous to realize that it doesn't matter what you have faith in, just that you have faith. Your hearts are in the right place, but your brains need to wake up.
That is exactly my point. Right on.
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