U.S. Threatens North Korea With Ann Coulter Launch - GoFuckYourself.com

directfiesta · 06-28-2006, 08:57 AM

Andy Borowitz rocks!

Quote:

June 27, 2006 - In an act of retaliation for North Korean president Kim Jong-Il's plan to test a long-range missile that could reach California, the U.S. today threatened to launch conservative pundit Ann Coulter in the direction of North Korea.

President George W. Bush announced the plan to weaponize Coulter in a nationally televised address.

"If North Korea intends to test the most deadly weapon in its arsenal, we will have no alternative but to use the most deadly weapon in ours," Bush said. "And that weapon is Ann Coulter."

Mr. Bush did not indicate how and when Coulter could be fired toward Pyongyang, but most military experts believe that she has already been loaded onto a nuclear submarine and could be launched at any moment.

At the United Nations, an emergency session of the Security Council was convened to discourage the U.S. from deploying Coulter, who is seen by many in the international community as the ultimate doomsday weapon.

Fears abound that if Coulter were fired toward Pyongyang, she would spew noxious fumes that could lay waste to the entire Korean peninsula and might even destroy Japan and parts of China.

A spokesperson for Coulter today acknowledged that her client had the power to destroy large areas of Asia, but said that she was "stoked" about the mission.

"If destroying Asia will help Ann sell more books, she's up for it," the spokesperson said.

Elsewhere, a new study shows that while a person using a cell phone during a thunderstorm could be struck by lightning, a person using a cell phone during a movie should be struck by lightning.

? 2006 Newsweek, Inc.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13577400/site/newsweek/

WDchris · 06-28-2006, 08:59 AM

this could escalate.

ElvisManson · 06-28-2006, 09:01 AM

isn't launching Ann Coulter a sign of the Apocolypse?

directfiesta · 06-28-2006, 09:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WDchris

this could escalate.

..Oh my god ... you mean Rush Limbaugh could be part of the plan ....

Tom_PM · 06-28-2006, 09:02 AM

She feeds off negative attention is the only problem. She says she "wears it like a badge of honor" when people hate on her.

Kinda like a negative attention parasite. Or a sith lord, lol.

06-28-2006, 09:02 AM	#5
Tom_PM Porn Meister Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 16,443	She feeds off negative attention is the only problem. She says she "wears it like a badge of honor" when people hate on her. Kinda like a negative attention parasite. Or a sith lord, lol. __________________ 43-922-863 Shut up and play your guitar.

06-28-2006, 08:59 AM	#2
WDchris Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: California Posts: 612	this could escalate.

06-28-2006, 09:01 AM	#3
ElvisManson Looking California Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 5,476	isn't launching Ann Coulter a sign of the Apocolypse?