Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian. - GoFuckYourself.com

-Turk- · 06-27-2006, 12:37 PM

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

BoyAlley · 06-27-2006, 12:39 PM

Haha I love it........

pr0 · 06-27-2006, 12:41 PM

i love it!

Bro Media - BANNED FOR LIFE · 06-27-2006, 12:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BoyAlley

Haha I love it........

that image made me drool in laughter

-Turk- · 06-27-2006, 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LOL :D

that image made me drool in laughter

that's some serious salivating.

MaddCaz · 06-27-2006, 03:49 PM

heeheeehheee

baycouples · 06-27-2006, 03:53 PM

#1 is so true!!! It is extremely sad though that most of the world still believes in God but yet doesn't believe in Santa Clause.

tranza · 06-27-2006, 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BoyAlley

Haha I love it........

Lolololololololololol!!!

Cool pic!!!

fuzzylogic · 06-27-2006, 04:08 PM

funny top 10 ten there!

though flag burning is not funny it should be included as #11

czarina · 06-27-2006, 04:53 PM

good one! and definitely right on!

minusonebit · 06-27-2006, 05:07 PM

Those ought to be the new 10 commandments.

Best Thread of the Day Award!

Bro Media - BANNED FOR LIFE · 06-27-2006, 05:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by -Turk-

that's some serious salivating.

i was laughing so hard i forgot to swallow and it just drooled down my chin

Dagwolf · 06-27-2006, 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by -Turk-

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

I'm convinced! Where do I sign up?

madawgz · 06-27-2006, 09:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BoyAlley

Haha I love it........

rowan · 06-27-2006, 09:15 PM

Makes sense to me but I'm sure that a dedicated bible basher would absolutely rip it apart with a detailed analysis and rebuttal...

DaddyHalbucks · 06-27-2006, 09:24 PM

11. You don't get any sex, which makes you angry, so you want to stop others from enjoying adult entertainment. Except, if you are a shy pro-family type minister you will have affairs with your parishioners, if you are a Catholic priest you will molest young boys, and if you are Jimmy Swaggart, you will get blowjobs by hookers in your Jaguar.

notabook · 06-27-2006, 09:31 PM

Those who deny the great and benevolent flying spaghetti monster shall rot forever, not in an eternal meatball devoid of light or form, but instead a saucepan of inner hatred.

-Turk- · 06-27-2006, 10:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by notabook

Those who deny the great and benevolent flying spaghetti monster shall rot forever, not in an eternal meatball devoid of light or form, but instead a saucepan of inner hatred.

now that's erie.

notabook · 06-28-2006, 01:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by -Turk-

now that's erie.

Let his tentacles fill you up brother. His benevolence shall wash over you if you accept his many noodly appendages within you.

-Turk- · 06-28-2006, 12:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by notabook

Let his tentacles fill you up brother. His benevolence shall wash over you if you accept his many noodly appendages within you.

LMAO.

06-27-2006, 12:41 PM	#3
pr0 rockin tha trailerpark Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: ~Coastal~ Posts: 23,088	i love it! __________________ __________ Loadedca$h - get sum! - Revengebucks - mmm rebills! - webair (gotz sErVrz)

06-27-2006, 03:49 PM	#6
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06-27-2006, 09:24 PM	#16
DaddyHalbucks A freakin' legend! Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Las Vegas, Nevada USA Posts: 18,975	11. You don't get any sex, which makes you angry, so you want to stop others from enjoying adult entertainment. Except, if you are a shy pro-family type minister you will have affairs with your parishioners, if you are a Catholic priest you will molest young boys, and if you are Jimmy Swaggart, you will get blowjobs by hookers in your Jaguar. __________________ Boner Money

06-27-2006, 09:31 PM	#17
notabook Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Not a Library! Posts: 9,748	Those who deny the great and benevolent flying spaghetti monster shall rot forever, not in an eternal meatball devoid of light or form, but instead a saucepan of inner hatred. __________________

06-27-2006, 12:37 PM	#1
-Turk- I gag on GFY Admin's cock!!! Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 350	Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian. 10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours. 9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt. 8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God. 7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees! 6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky. 5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old. 4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving." 3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity. 2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God. 1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

06-27-2006, 12:39 PM	#2
BoyAlley So Fucking Gay Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 19,714	Haha I love it........

06-27-2006, 03:53 PM	#7
baycouples Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: San Jose, CA Posts: 1,341	#1 is so true!!! It is extremely sad though that most of the world still believes in God but yet doesn't believe in Santa Clause.

06-27-2006, 04:08 PM	#9
fuzzylogic Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: buffalo, las vegas. icq: 285808879 Posts: 4,796	funny top 10 ten there! though flag burning is not funny it should be included as #11

06-27-2006, 04:53 PM	#10
czarina Webmaster Extraordinaire Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: A beautiful beach... Posts: 10,748	good one! and definitely right on!

06-27-2006, 05:07 PM	#11
minusonebit So Fucking Banned Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: [email protected] Posts: 7,391	Those ought to be the new 10 commandments. Best Thread of the Day Award!

06-27-2006, 09:15 PM	#15
rowan Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Australia Posts: 17,393	Makes sense to me but I'm sure that a dedicated bible basher would absolutely rip it apart with a detailed analysis and rebuttal...